I have never taken organized sports, very seriously.  I found at a very early age that it was impossible to maintain the energy conservation levels needed to store energy, and remain competitive in physical activities.  For many years my competitive side had to take a back seat to my needs as an energy camel, until I was introduced to board games.

My first experience with board games came in the form of Candy Land.  While the game did not provide much of a challenge in itself, because it was based on luck, it did provide the first step into a larger world.

Long had I searched for a way to show my dominance that did not require me to tap into my energy reserves, and it seemed as if I had found it.  I soon became proficient in a great many games, and crushed my opponents with my mental abilities.  Monopoly, Chess, Life, Risk, Clue.  I had mastered them all and many others.  At one time or another my entire family and friends had felt my wrath.  

Then one day I found myself facing almost certain defeat at the hands of a very unlikely opponent.

My Boompa had come into town to visit us, and in my arrogance, I had challenged him to a game of Chinese Checkers.  My record had been spotless in this game.  But half way through this match the marbles on the board told a different story.  

Boompa was a much more skilled player than I had anticipated.  Panic began to set in as I surveyed the situation.  I came to realize that winning was no longer an option for me.  As I looked at the board trying to figure out my next move Boompa left to go to the kitchen to get a drink.

Suddenly a plan came to mind.  I might not be able to win, but I will be damned if I lose.  If Boompa were to lose a marble, it would be impossible for him to move all of his marbles to my side of the board.  The game would have to be called, and nobody could win.  I quickly snatched up one of his marbles and ate it.  As I felt the marble settle into my stomach, a feeling of peace came over me.  My actions did not win me a victory, but they had saved me from defeat.

It was not long after Boompa came back before the subject of the missing marble came up.  I played innocent at first, but after a quick search of the area turned up nothing the attention turned to me.

My parents were brought in and I was interrogated for several hours under bright lights.  The questioning was intense and I was eventually broken down and was forced to confess my crime.  After signing a statement of what happened I was let go.  As I left to go to my room I turned to my captors and said, “I did not lose that game.  We will call it a draw.”

That was my last game of Chinese Checkers.  After word of the incident got out I was hard pressed to find opponents who were willing to face my unorthodox tactics.  As punishment I was made to sort through my poo with a small fish net in order to find the marble.  After several weeks of looking the search was abandoned, and as far as I know I still carry that marble in my stomach today.


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Past Introspectives.

Star Wars & America

I peed on Spider-Man

Energy Camel

My shoes were hostages

A boy and his AT-AT

I have a dream

Win, Lose, Or Draw.

"Mandrake, I have to preserve my precious bodily fluids."

Wedge, you're really starting to scare me

Quoted: I have never taken organized sports, very seriously.  I found at a very early age that it was impossible to maintain the energy conservation levels needed to store energy, and remain competitive in physical activities.  For many years my competitive side had to take a back seat to my needs as an energy camel, until I was introduced to board games.

Jaba, I knew you were out there somewhere.

Quoted: Wedge, you're really starting to scare me

Just now I am starting to scare you?  Not a very good judge of character are you?

Wedge eats balls.

Wedge, you should start a blog and put all of your introspectives in it together.  I'd read it.  

That one was great, but I like the AT-AT the best.  

Quoted: Wedge eats balls.

That's ball, Wedge eats ball.

Priceless !

Quoted: <snip> and as far as I know I still carry that marble in my stomach today.

Can't wait for your "Spin the Bottle Story".

Quoted: Wedge, you should start a blog and put all of your introspectives in it together.  I'd read it.   That one was great, but I like the AT-AT the best.

I am not sure if I can ever top the AT-AT story.  There was a lot of passion in there.

Quoted: Quoted: <snip> and as far as I know I still carry that marble in my stomach today. Can't wait for your "Spin the Bottle Story". img.photobucket.com/albums/v379/bayeagle/Frances/ownedbottleass.jpg

That is not my hip replacement.

Luckily your genitalia are not visible.  

Being a Catholic male, it would not only violate the ARFCom CoC, but their sheer size would also scare those not so... endowed by their Creator, if you will.

Quoted: Luckily your genitalia are not visible.   Being a Catholic male, it would not only violate the ARFCom CoC, but their sheer size would also scare those not so... endowed by their Creator, if you will.

When it came to the Catholics, the good Lord gave, and then He gave some more.

Quoted: Remind me not to take you skeet shooting, I think the paint on the clay pidgeons is lead based.

It will only be a problem if you start to win.

These stories are alot like SGatr15's movies...

...only with no pics and with non-gay content.

“I did not lose that game. We will call it a draw.”

[rolf2]

Another job well done!

I challenge you to a game of Uncle Wiggly!  You will lose!!!!