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Posted: 4/24/2017 11:09:06 AM EDT
[#1]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Tag for insight on my favorite sex. Sorry, I had to 
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Posted: 4/24/2017 11:09:06 AM EDT
[#2]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
The chase sucks. Watching men and women going through the mating dances..Everytime makes me glad I married young and don't have to deal with that shit. https://www.AR15.Com/media/mediaFiles/86678/B1E3O3t-194207.JPG |
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Posted: 4/24/2017 11:10:35 AM EDT
[#3]
Marriage is not easy, and nothing is certain.
Devoiced once myself, but it was worth it to find my second wife. Second wives are generally much better than first ones anyway. I will say this... OP, when you have children, you will never look at another human being the way you see your wife. You will understand the bigger picture at that point, and like some if you don't... chances are your not the type to stay married. Some people stay together their whole lives, and some people should never be married, you just have to find out which camp you belong in. Hopefully you do that before you are married. |
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Posted: 4/24/2017 11:22:38 AM EDT
[#4]
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The very idea of the Chase, is obsolete in today's Tinderrimmer Age. Nowadays they have to want it as much as you. |
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Posted: 4/24/2017 11:26:55 AM EDT
[#5]
Everybody is different.
I have 2 friends who were total man-sluts and they are both very good at it. One of them saw every woman he met as a potential friend he would like to hang out with and have some fun, he did a lot of that,very easy going,constant flirt. The other guy is extremely goal focused, bedding women is a skill he developed and he was also born very charismatic. He would try to find more and more difficult women to make it more challenging. The easy going guy settled down earlier and seemed kind of comfortable with the wife he adores. He still flirts way too much with women even though he is very old, and they all flirt right back, and his wife has always found him to be kind of entertaining. The focused guy has finally settled down but he has never seemed content. Maybe that is just how he is, always chasing something, or maybe it is about a past girlfriend who got away. |
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Posted: 4/24/2017 11:29:30 AM EDT
[#6]
OP, the obvious answer to your dilemma is swinging.
Get the fiance onboard now before you get married. Let us know how the conversation goes |
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Posted: 4/24/2017 11:32:04 AM EDT
[#7]
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Chase is rapey and old timey. Nowadays they have to want it as much as you. And tinder is much betterer for instant gratification. |
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Posted: 4/24/2017 11:40:28 AM EDT
[#8]
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Posted: 4/24/2017 11:42:18 AM EDT
[#9]
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Which is very much a new age, liberal, left wing way to look at it. |
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Posted: 4/24/2017 11:42:31 AM EDT
[#10]
Direct that need to hunt on your woman. Dont be an asshole.
The things you used to do to try and get tail...do those for your woman. Let her happiness be your reward. Your efforts will also get you tail. Taking a long drive? Pull over and grab her a flower from the side of the road and give it to her. Etc. |
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Posted: 4/24/2017 11:45:00 AM EDT
[#11]
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More of a feminist thing. They wanted it, they got it. Now they live with it. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Which is very much a new age, liberal, left wing way to look at it. 
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Posted: 4/24/2017 11:48:08 AM EDT
[#12]
A thirty year old military man you say? In my experience you should have been married about 10 years ago and have at least two kids by now.
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Posted: 4/24/2017 11:49:40 AM EDT
[#13]
The desire for the thrill never goes away, but you can chase it together.
Been married 38 years. Have done all the thrill stuff I wanted. Some with her, some by myself. Sharing the thrill with her, or having her to come home to, makes the thrill even better. |
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Posted: 4/24/2017 11:50:04 AM EDT
[#14]
Quoted:
30 years old. Just got engaged a couple months ago. Been through 2 deployments together over 3 years, best girl in the world in my opinion. That being said, just being with one woman scares the ever living shit out of me. I feel like I will miss the thrill of the chase. Does it ever go away? How do you deal? you stop chasing SEX instead you wesr your ring be a man, it is OK to chase smiles or get a thrill fronkowing you could take her out. A real husband gets his thrill by walking away from a cute young willing girl. Monday I got a new haircut after wearing my hair the same for 5 years I had two cute moms smile at me yesterday & a waitress stop me to flrt last night. I still flirt for a min or 2 but my satisfaction comes from walking away. |
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Posted: 4/24/2017 11:50:10 AM EDT
[#15]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Direct that need to hunt on your woman. Dont be an asshole. The things you used to do to try and get tail...do those for your woman. Let her happiness be your reward. Your efforts will also get you tail. Taking a long drive? Pull over and grab her a flower from the side of the road and give it to her. Etc. men who had tons of partners before they found 'the one' can't just turn chasing women into picking flowers or doing things for one woman it's a psychological change that has to happen and it can only be done by his self through introspection and realizations |
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Posted: 4/24/2017 11:52:57 AM EDT
[#16]
What is willpower?
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Posted: 4/24/2017 1:32:44 PM EDT
[#17]
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Building a great life together becomes the new chase. |
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Posted: 4/24/2017 1:33:15 PM EDT
[#18]
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Not married, been engaged for 4 months to a woman I have dated for 4 years. I think you have the wrong idea, I'm not done with the chase, but now the chase is focused on one specific woman. |
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Posted: 4/24/2017 1:37:35 PM EDT
[#19]
There's this thing called "monogamy".
Plenty enough thrills in it for me. If you are still thrilled by the chase, you might want to reconsider whether or not it's time to get married. Then again, even when I was younger I hated the bullshit drama games, aka "the chase". I guess for some folks, that kind of activity is enjoyable. Whatever floats your boat. 
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Posted: 4/24/2017 1:37:46 PM EDT
[#20]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Tag for insight on my favorite sex. It take force of will or a very cleaver woman to keep us on the straight and narrow.
It sucks, yes, Men are dogs... |
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Posted: 4/24/2017 1:51:43 PM EDT
[#21]
What separates us from the animal world, is our ability to control our primitive drives and instincts.
When you marry someone you two join to become a new being as a couple. Those primal urges that were there when you were single, don't magically go away, but you use your character and discipline to make yourself act in the best interest of the new couple as opposed to your individual interest. Is marriage hard, yes. Is always being faithful hard, yes. Is it helpful to have the foresight to try and avoid high risk situations, yes it most certainly is...which is why I am a big fan of the "Billy Graham rule". The problem is we live in a culture that validates self gratification and has completely done away with the idea of shame and individual honor. |
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Posted: 4/24/2017 1:56:24 PM EDT
[#22]
I had a craving for the side strange and didn't understand how anyone could want to be with the same woman forever. Then I met the woman I'm with now and I get it. I got it almost immediately and it was like a switch getting flipped in my head. She's the greatest and I'd never do something to hurt or risk losing her.
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Posted: 4/24/2017 1:59:54 PM EDT
[#23]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I had a craving for the side strange and didn't understand how anyone could want to be with the same woman forever. Then I met the woman I'm with now and I get it. I got it almost immediately and it was like a switch getting flipped in my head. She's the greatest and I'd never do something to hurt or risk losing her. I used to be that way when I was very young. I'd get a girlfriend and wouldn't look at any other woman. I got my guts ripped out a few times and some how lost this... 
Still I have no idea if that would have lasted decades though. |
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Posted: 4/24/2017 2:06:39 PM EDT
[#24]
Used to love the hunt and the thrill of new pussy. But the FIRST time I landed a half way sane chick without kids, I nailed her down ASAP.
I still look back at the hunt fondly, but it's in the past and I'm good where I'm at. Quoted:
30 years old. Just got engaged a couple months ago. Been through 2 deployments together over 3 years, best girl in the world in my opinion. That being said, just being with one woman scares the ever living shit out of me. I feel like I will miss the thrill of the chase. Does it ever go away? How do you deal? |
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Posted: 4/24/2017 2:15:36 PM EDT
[#25]
I don't miss the chase but right now I miss being single. Been married 18 years but this point in life I feel like I live with a room mate more than a wife. If it wasn't for my terrific kids, I'd ask to be deployed overseas and stay there for a while.
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Posted: 4/24/2017 2:18:40 PM EDT
[#26]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Who long have you been with this woman? I used to be that way when I was very young. I'd get a girlfriend and wouldn't look at any other woman. I got my guts ripped out a few times and some how lost this...
Still I have no idea if that would have lasted decades though. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
I had a craving for the side strange and didn't understand how anyone could want to be with the same woman forever. Then I met the woman I'm with now and I get it. I got it almost immediately and it was like a switch getting flipped in my head. She's the greatest and I'd never do something to hurt or risk losing her. I used to be that way when I was very young. I'd get a girlfriend and wouldn't look at any other woman. I got my guts ripped out a few times and some how lost this...
Still I have no idea if that would have lasted decades though. I had the mother of a PSU cheerleader trying to set me up with her daughter this weekend and I had zero interest. I didn't even care to meet the girl because I'm genuinely in love with the perfect (for me) woman. In any past relationship I would have jumped at the chance to take down another blonde D1 cheerleader. |
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Posted: 4/24/2017 2:25:33 PM EDT
[#27]
Thank God no! My wife is my thrill.
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Posted: 4/24/2017 2:25:35 PM EDT
[#28]
One of my favorite parts of being in a committed relationship is being able to focus on one woman. I've found that one woman is exciting and challenging enough for me.
The chase was kind of a pain. I like the committed relationship much better. |
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Posted: 4/24/2017 2:55:04 PM EDT
[#29]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
We aren't monogamous biologically. We are programmed to spread it around for the best chances of getting our genes out there before we got eaten by a saber toothed tiger or stomped by a mammoth or some shit. It take force of will or a very cleaver woman to keep us on the straight and narrow.
It sucks, yes, Men are dogs... Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Tag for insight on my favorite sex. It take force of will or a very cleaver woman to keep us on the straight and narrow.
It sucks, yes, Men are dogs... |
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Posted: 4/24/2017 2:57:05 PM EDT
[#30]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Huh. All these years, I've been doing it wrong. Do I have to actually whack him with it, will just threatening him do? 
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Posted: 4/24/2017 2:57:20 PM EDT
[#31]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Huh. All these years, I've been doing it wrong. Do I have to actually whack him with it, will just threatening him do?
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Posted: 4/24/2017 3:31:15 PM EDT
[#32]
It is easy to chase loose women....
It is hard to keep one good woman. Good luck. |
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Posted: 4/24/2017 3:40:31 PM EDT
[#33]
So far NO. But it has only been 39 years
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Posted: 4/24/2017 3:43:43 PM EDT
[#34]
Quoted:
30 years old. Just got engaged a couple months ago. Been through 2 deployments together over 3 years, best girl in the world in my opinion. That being said, just being with one woman scares the ever living shit out of me. I feel like I will miss the thrill of the chase. Does it ever go away? How do you deal? Happily married 26 years...if you have to ask this question either you are not ready or you haven't met the right girl. |
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Posted: 4/24/2017 4:00:42 PM EDT
[#35]
Do you get over it? Yes. Is the thrill still enticing after x number of years? Yes.
Putting your wife before your need for that thrill is one of the many sacrifices that make up the loving relationship necessary for a successful marriage. |
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Posted: 4/24/2017 4:03:13 PM EDT
[#36]
Every man has a decision to make: commitment or new pussy /CR
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Posted: 4/24/2017 4:06:02 PM EDT
[#37]
Yeah, eventually you hope to mature enough to get over emotional flippancy and commit to loving one person.
Some never get to that point. |
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Posted: 4/24/2017 4:09:08 PM EDT
[#38]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Tag for insight on my favorite sex. 
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Posted: 4/24/2017 4:11:07 PM EDT
[#39]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Kinda like the above, just a different game. Marriage (or the thrill of it) is what you make of it. You can't get more out than you put in. ETA: except babies, the more you put in, the more you get out.... 
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Posted: 4/24/2017 4:14:28 PM EDT
[#40]
I got bad news for you OP, if you're even asking this question, then she ain't the one.
If she were the one, the though of giving up a little strange every now and the. Wouldn't even cross your mind. At this stage in your relationship, when your just engaged/newlywed you should be totally infatuated with one another. You shouldn't even be thinking about what it would be like to still be chasing tail, let alone scared because your starting to miss it. If you feel like this now think about what it's going to be like five years from now when the new has worn off the relationship. You sure your even marriage material OP? Sounds like she is, but are you? |
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Posted: 4/24/2017 4:22:46 PM EDT
[#41]
You're either ready to settle down with one woman or you're not. If you don't want to be with her for the rest of your life with no reservations you're either not ready or she's not the right woman. I was in my forties when I got married. There's another kind of love that doesn't run as hot but runs deeper. It's worth it.
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Posted: 4/24/2017 4:23:37 PM EDT
[#42]
I don't need anything new to "chase". What I want more than anything in that arena is to experience my wife's desire.
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Posted: 4/24/2017 4:26:03 PM EDT
[#43]
Op the secret to a great marriage is to find a partner that will help you push the wheel barrow, that will grab one handle while you grab the other handle.
DO NOT marry someone who will hop into the wheel barrow and expect you to push it by yourself. |
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Posted: 4/24/2017 4:30:01 PM EDT
[#44]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Op the secret to a great marriage is to find a partner that will help you push the wheel barrow, that will grab one handle while you grab the other handle. DO NOT marry someone who will hop into the wheel barrow and expect you to push it by yourself. Or even worse, belittles and blames you because she doesn't like the wheel barrow, thinks it is moving too slow, is convinced that you're aiming for every pothole, etc, etc, etc. |
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Posted: 4/24/2017 4:31:56 PM EDT
[#45]
If you think your life will be about you after marriage you are sadly mistaken. You are in, together, to take care of each other for the long haul and when you have kids your purpose in life will be to raise those kids. THAT is what marriage is about.
That being said, of course you will still look at other women and say "wow". It's human nature. Grown men have the self control leave it at that. |
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Posted: 4/24/2017 4:53:39 PM EDT
[#46]
Quoted:
30 years old. Just got engaged a couple months ago. Been through 2 deployments together over 3 years, best girl in the world in my opinion. That being said, just being with one woman scares the ever living shit out of me. I feel like I will miss the thrill of the chase. Does it ever go away? How do you deal? You grow up! |
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Posted: 4/24/2017 5:10:06 PM EDT
[#47]
Being a good husband or long term partner is trading the joy of contentment and emotional satisfaction for the thrill of getting a new boner with a stranger.
If you don't want to make that trade, then DON'T FUCKING GET ENGAGED. I wanted it, and enjoy it, and sure I feel like it would be exciting to meet someone new....but it's not strong enough to outweigh the good of being married. |
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Posted: 4/24/2017 5:14:59 PM EDT
[#48]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Or even worse, belittles and blames you because she doesn't like the wheel barrow, thinks it is moving too slow, is convinced that you're aiming for every pothole, etc, etc, etc. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Op the secret to a great marriage is to find a partner that will help you push the wheel barrow, that will grab one handle while you grab the other handle. DO NOT marry someone who will hop into the wheel barrow and expect you to push it by yourself. |
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Posted: 4/24/2017 5:15:44 PM EDT
[#49]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Yeah I suck at spelling and my mind out runs my fingers while typing... Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Huh. All these years, I've been doing it wrong. Do I have to actually whack him with it, will just threatening him do? 
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Posted: 4/24/2017 5:17:49 PM EDT
[#50]
Remember every night you slept alone and the only pussy you could find was your own hand??
Reach over to your wife tell her you love her and need her. |
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