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Posted: 11/18/2020 12:47:35 AM EDT
[#1]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Chuck Norris counted to infinity.....twice. Once backwards just because He Can I have to find that Old Chuck Norris thread of mine..... |
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Posted: 11/18/2020 12:50:49 AM EDT
[#2]
Chuck Norris ended a universe and created another one at the same time. He calls it a roundhouse kick. We call it the big bang.
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Posted: 11/18/2020 1:01:31 AM EDT
[#3]
Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.
There has never been a hurricane named Chuck because it would have destroyed everything. We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris. |
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Posted: 11/18/2020 1:02:31 AM EDT
[#4]
what year is it?
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Posted: 11/18/2020 1:12:22 AM EDT
[#5]
I found two Old Charles Norris Threads>
https://www.ar15.com/forums/General/-ARCHIVED-THREAD-Put-your-Chuck-Norris-facts-here-/5-1377330/?page=1 https://www.ar15.com/forums/General/-ARCHIVED-THREAD-Chuck-Norris-Doesn-t-Always-Win-/5-1886823/?page=1 |
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Posted: 11/18/2020 1:36:34 AM EDT
[#6]
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Posted: 11/18/2020 1:41:14 AM EDT
[#7]
Quote HistoryHe was born on March 10th, 1940. |
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Posted: 11/18/2020 2:01:43 AM EDT
[#8]
Chuck Norris graduated valedictorian from kindergarten because he was fucking the teacher.
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Posted: 11/18/2020 2:35:07 AM EDT
[#9]
Chuck Norris hammered on an anvil, and he broke it.
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Posted: 11/18/2020 2:36:10 AM EDT
[#10]
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Posted: 11/18/2020 3:06:01 AM EDT
[#11]
Chuck Norris and the Hulk got into a fight. The loser had to paint himself green.
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Posted: 11/18/2020 3:33:37 AM EDT
[#12]
The only reason there’s more Chuck Norris jokes than Bruce Lee jokes is because Bruce Lee is no joke.
 There are no Chuck Norris jokes, only Chuck Norris facts. |
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Posted: 11/18/2020 6:03:16 AM EDT
[#13]
Quote HistoryQuoted: The only reason there’s more Chuck Norris jokes than Bruce Lee jokes is because Bruce Lee is no joke. There are no Chuck Norris jokes, only Chuck Norris facts. Ya, well, Brad Pitt kicked Bruce Lee’s ass. |
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Posted: 11/18/2020 6:52:40 AM EDT
[#14]
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Posted: 11/18/2020 7:08:14 AM EDT
[#15]
Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in.
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Posted: 11/18/2020 7:17:30 AM EDT
[#16]
When Chuck Norris goes swimming he doesn't get wet, water gets Chuck Norris.
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Posted: 11/18/2020 7:21:01 AM EDT
[#17]
If Batman and Darth Vader got into a fight who would win?
Chuck Norris. |
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Posted: 11/18/2020 7:22:11 AM EDT
[#18]
According to Einstein's theory of relativity a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris can send you into last week.
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Posted: 11/18/2020 7:23:02 AM EDT
[#19]
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He just stares them down until they tell him the full story.
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Posted: 11/18/2020 7:48:57 AM EDT
[#20]
Chuck Norris can fart in any language.
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Posted: 11/18/2020 8:54:59 AM EDT
[#21]
Chuck Norris taught Arya Stark how to jump.
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Posted: 11/18/2020 9:01:54 AM EDT
[#22]
Chuck Norris does shit, he makes diamonds.
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Posted: 11/18/2020 9:02:49 AM EDT
[#23]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Chuck Norris graduated valedictorian from kindergarten because he was fucking the teacher. 
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Posted: 11/18/2020 10:02:11 AM EDT
[#24]
CN beat the sun in a staring contest
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Posted: 11/18/2020 10:05:01 AM EDT
[#25]
When interviewed, Freddy Krueger said his greatest fear is that someday Chuck norris might get tired and fall asleep
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Posted: 11/18/2020 10:18:34 AM EDT
[#26]
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Posted: 11/18/2020 11:38:27 AM EDT
[#27]
Chuck Norris once won an eat a 72 ounce steak in an hour contest. He spent the first 45 minutes fucking the waitress.
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Posted: 11/18/2020 11:55:52 AM EDT
[#28]
Quote History"Chuck Norris does his grocery shopping at Home Depot!" That was the best Downfall parody yet! |
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Posted: 11/18/2020 7:52:09 PM EDT
[#29]
Chuck Norris can speak braille.
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Posted: 11/18/2020 7:53:46 PM EDT
[#30]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I met Chuck at an event earlier this year, and he's such a nice guy. Genuinely seems to love his fans. |
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Posted: 11/18/2020 7:58:34 PM EDT
[#31]
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Posted: 11/18/2020 8:10:54 PM EDT
[#32]
Chuck Norris invented wolves
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Posted: 11/18/2020 9:01:26 PM EDT
[#33]
Chuck Norris once won the Iron Chef competition by microwaving Hot Pockets.
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Posted: 11/18/2020 9:02:55 PM EDT
[#34]
Chuck Norris literally nukes his leftovers the next day to warm them up.
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Posted: 11/18/2020 9:06:58 PM EDT
[#35]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Chuck Norris can clog a toilet with just his piss. |
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Posted: 11/18/2020 9:12:26 PM EDT
[#36]
Chuck Norris doesn’t dial wrong numbers. You answered the wrong phone.
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Posted: 11/18/2020 9:15:30 PM EDT
[#37]
Jesus follows Chuck Norris on Twitter.
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Posted: 11/18/2020 9:33:31 PM EDT
[#38]
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
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Posted: 11/18/2020 10:33:55 PM EDT
[#39]
Chuck Norris knows how to warrgarble
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Posted: 11/18/2020 10:54:52 PM EDT
[#40]
Chuck Norris owns the gun from Heat.
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Posted: 11/18/2020 11:02:57 PM EDT
[#41]
Chuck Norris has a nuclear left heel.
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Posted: 11/18/2020 11:43:19 PM EDT
[#42]
When God said "let there be light", Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the Universe into existence.
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Posted: 11/18/2020 11:48:36 PM EDT
[#43]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Chuck Norris owns the gun from Heat. The color of the boathouse at Hereford is any color Chuck Norris says it is. |
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Posted: 11/18/2020 11:51:24 PM EDT
[#44]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Here is where he landed. https://www.nasa.gov/sites/default/files/thumbnails/image/asteroid-meteor-crater.png Damnit! Was going to post that. Glad I checked the thread 1st. |
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Posted: 11/19/2020 12:16:51 AM EDT
[#45]
Laughing hard at these jokes. I dont have one, but a story.
My cousin resembles Chuck Norris quite a bit. He went to a job a few years ago to give a bid to move some machinery for a customer. The Asian owner asked him if he was walker. My cousin had a confused look and asked him ,What? Asian owner said again You , Walker? Texas Ranger? My cousin busted out laughing. |
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Posted: 11/19/2020 12:49:16 AM EDT
[#46]
The coin Jaqen H'ghar gave Arya Stark has Chuck Norris on its face.
You Do NOT want to know what is on the Tail side. |
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Posted: 11/19/2020 5:45:53 AM EDT
[#47]
Chuck Norris can walk into a Burger King and order a McDonald's Big Mac with a side of Chic-fil-A nuggets and a DQ Blizzard and not only get it, but Burger King pays the total of the order to Chuck Norris.
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Posted: 11/19/2020 5:53:27 AM EDT
[#48]
As a lark, Chuck Norris was pissed intona 18 Wheeler's gas tank as a prank. Today that truck is known as Optimus Prime.
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Posted: 11/19/2020 7:00:53 AM EDT
[#49]
Chuck Norris' kite is a B-1
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Posted: 11/19/2020 7:53:22 AM EDT
[#50]
When Chuck Norris donates blood, he brings a shotgun and a bucket.
During World War II, Truman thought about sending Chuck Norris to invade Japan. Instead, he did the humane thing and merely dropped two nukes on them. |
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