![Bravo Company BCM](/images/2016/banners/sticky/BCM_StickyBarAd_225x40.gif)
![Login](/images/2016/spacer.gif)
[#1]
Quoted:
I know two men, just right off hand, who have told me they married because they "thought it was time." Once upon a time, I did the same thing. You know how that turned out. View Quote I seriously wonder how much of the marriage failure rate is attributable to this. A good portion, I think. |
|
[#3]
Quoted: I decided in December 2001 that my list of ex girl friends and ex finances was long and impressive enough. Been single ever since. Haven't dated, haven't banged any split tails, haven't missed them at all. Definitely not gay. Bitches be crazy yo. I'm 51, debt free, credit score of 837, have everything I want or need, and am on track to retire at a decent age. Haters gonna hate. Don't give a shit. Just hate 'em back twice over. View Quote |
|
[#4]
Quoted: I seriously wonder how much of the marriage failure rate is attributable to this. A good portion, I think. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted: Quoted: I know two men, just right off hand, who have told me they married because they "thought it was time." Once upon a time, I did the same thing. You know how that turned out. I seriously wonder how much of the marriage failure rate is attributable to this. A good portion, I think. I can guarantee my first one failed because of this. I was graduating college and thought that meant it was time to get married, buy a house, and have a kid. Four years later, no wife, no house, and child support for the next 17 years ![]() |
|
[#5]
|
|
[#6]
Quoted: Didn't we just to used to call them gay? View Quote There's a difference between saying "I'd rather watch TV and buy toys than go to the trouble of chasing women" and "I masturbate to pictures of naked men." One moves to the mountains and spends his life working an old gold mine, while the other goes to San Francisco and cruises the bathhouses. |
|
[#8]
View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
Quoted:
Fuck bitches, get money [sobbing] Oh my Lord. ![]() I was about to post "fuck bitches, get thermal" |
|
[#9]
I date tons of women, never commit to any of them. I am just not available emotionally and don't care (no idea why I have gotten this way, maybe age), which only works in my favor more I have found strangely enough, they just keep coming back for more. Then they talk about how they wish I was more like the guy they left who fawns over them, yet here they are in my bed and not his. Who knew it was this easy to get laid. Wish I would have figured this out in my 20's.
![]() |
|
[#10]
|
|
[#11]
Quoted: I was just talking to a kid that works for me yesterday. Married 18 months. His wife is a sexy little blonde 22 year old. She loves him to death, lets him do whatever he wants, doesn't nag and is a great person. But he hates being married or really in any relationship. It's not because he wants to bang other chicks and he says he honestly doesn't know why he feels the way he does. It causes him a lot of guilt. We've talked about it quite a bit. But apparently he decided it would be a good idea to come clean a few nights ago. Basically told her he'd been faking it the whole time and he feels horrible that she loves him more than he loves her. She left for the night and came home the next day. They're going to get into counseling and he's going to seek help to see if he has a personality disorder or something. But who knows how it's going to work out long term. Anyway, I can kind of see him fitting into this group. View Quote ![]() Treat em mean, keep em keen. |
|
[#12]
|
|
[#13]
10% of the men are getting 90% of the women.
or; 90% of the women are chasing 10% of the men. THOSE relationships don't end in divorce; THOSE families stay intact. Everything else, observably, is scraps. Thats the natural order for a healthy culture/society. Betas don't get access. |
|
[#14]
Quoted:
Show me precisely where the law says "it is illegal to actively attempt to sabotage other marriages." It doesn't. That's just shitty behavior. Show me where the law says "it is illegal to use and discard people like Kleenex." It doesn't. That's just shitty behavior, not criminal in any way. Being a shitty person isn't illegal. It's just being a shitty person. In the immortal words of Bill and Ted http://i.imgur.com/T8I86.gif?noredirect View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Honestly, though, if guys just want to go their own way, I have no problem with that. Nobody owes anybody else a relationship. Going out of their way to break up other people's marriages (as mentioned in the article) or use and discard women like Kleenex is fucked up, but just going their own way is fine. I also think women who go out of their way to break up other people's marriages or use and discard men like Kleenex are pretty fucked up too. It's a gender neutral concept. Unfortunately the law is not gender neutral. Law be damned, you choose how you treat people. The law has exactly diddly shit to do with how you treat other people. Actively working to break up other people's marriages is shitty behavior. Using and discarding people like Kleenex is shitty behavior. Going your own way is not shitty behavior. The law doesn't cover any of those outside the bounds of legal marriage. And none of those behaviors is restricted to legal marriages. Seriously? The law specifically details what you can and cant do to other people. That precisely what it does. It is, in fact, its only purpose Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile Show me precisely where the law says "it is illegal to actively attempt to sabotage other marriages." It doesn't. That's just shitty behavior. Show me where the law says "it is illegal to use and discard people like Kleenex." It doesn't. That's just shitty behavior, not criminal in any way. Being a shitty person isn't illegal. It's just being a shitty person. In the immortal words of Bill and Ted http://i.imgur.com/T8I86.gif?noredirect Alienation of affection is still a viable tort in six states. It used to be more common, but like many other things that have gone in the shitter, so too, has this. My grandfather was sued for alienation of affection by his second wife's ex-husband. |
|
[#15]
Quoted: I just don't get the hooker thing. The absolute zero self esteem a man must have to decide he's so worthless , that he has to pay a woman to sleep with him. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Why would you swear off sex, and especially why if you require a support group to do it? ![]() (Religion aside) They haven't. Just relationships. Save up some money, rail the shit out of a hooker every month or two (which is more sex than some married men are getting) and do what the fuck you want. I just don't get the hooker thing. The absolute zero self esteem a man must have to decide he's so worthless , that he has to pay a woman to sleep with him. And the sex is sometimes just as good as with someone you really want. Sometimes it sucks, just like sometimes when you don't pay for it. |
|
[#16]
Quoted:
It's not that. It's $50 to have sex with a really hot chick once. You don't have to put your self-esteem at risk, don't have to risk the pain of rejection, you don't have to fake emotions to convince someone so they'll have sex with you. It's a transaction where you both get what you really want. She wants money, you want sex. And you get it on demand when you want. And the sex is sometimes just as good as with someone you really want. Sometimes it sucks, just like sometimes when you don't pay for it. View Quote That doesn't sound like fun at all. I like the chase, and get bored after it. I like putting it all out there, do you really have anything to lose? You don't if you don't care. ![]() |
|
[#17]
you'll probably never meet a happier group of bastards. while you're laughing at them, imagine how many toys they have and how much money they have in the bank.
|
|
[#18]
|
|
[#20]
Quoted:
you'll probably never meet a happier group of bastards. while you're laughing at them, imagine how many toys they have and how much money they have in the bank. View Quote Plus, the story they won't have about how they used to have a house, kids, a decent car...until the divorce... You won't hear about their alimony payments. You won't hear about their payments on a house/car that they don't live in or use. You won't hear about their ex turning their kids against them. You won't hear about their kids having a "new daddy". You won't hear how depressed they are about how their ex and her new BF are going on vacation to someplace exotic while he can't afford food... Probably will hear about their new house, car, boat, plane, GF of the moment, safe full of guns... Yeah....not that bad of a plan after all. |
|
[#21]
Quoted:
I just don't get the hooker thing. The absolute zero self esteem a man must have to decide he's so worthless , that he has to pay a woman to sleep with him. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Why would you swear off sex, and especially why if you require a support group to do it? ![]() (Religion aside) They haven't. Just relationships. Save up some money, rail the shit out of a hooker every month or two (which is more sex than some married men are getting) and do what the fuck you want. I just don't get the hooker thing. The absolute zero self esteem a man must have to decide he's so worthless , that he has to pay a woman to sleep with him. He pays her to go away! ![]() |
|
[#22]
When my soon to be ex wife decided to cheat on me and that she no longer wished to be married, I had to give her over 1.2 million in cash ans property. Even though she has more education than me, the same professional licensing as me and greater earning potential than me. I have the kids 50% of the time and still gave her $1.2M plus spousal support and child support.
For a man with a career, getting a married is a suckers bet. Ill be a serial dater the rest of my life. |
|
[#23]
Quoted: When my soon to be ex wife decided to cheat on me and that she no longer wished to be married, I had to give her over 1.2 million in cash ans property. Even though she has more education than me, the same professional licensing as me and greater earning potential than me. I have the kids 50% of the time and still gave her $1.2M plus spousal support and child support. For a man with a career, getting a married is a suckers bet. Ill be a serial dater the rest of my life. View Quote |
|
[#24]
Sounds like idiots, but hey, freedom.
Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile |
|
[#25]
Quoted:
That doesn't sound like fun at all. I like the chase, and get bored after it. I like putting it all out there, do you really have anything to lose? You don't if you don't care. ![]() View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
Quoted:
It's not that. It's $50 to have sex with a really hot chick once. You don't have to put your self-esteem at risk, don't have to risk the pain of rejection, you don't have to fake emotions to convince someone so they'll have sex with you. It's a transaction where you both get what you really want. She wants money, you want sex. And you get it on demand when you want. And the sex is sometimes just as good as with someone you really want. Sometimes it sucks, just like sometimes when you don't pay for it. That doesn't sound like fun at all. I like the chase, and get bored after it. I like putting it all out there, do you really have anything to lose? You don't if you don't care. ![]() You prefer the risk to the reward? Madness. |
|
[#26]
In on page 5 of this trainwreck.
I'm pretty much one of those guys. I don't give it a name or belong to some "group." I just opted out. I don't pick up on social cues easily, and I hate when people touch me. There was this chick that I was really into, but I wasn't picking up on the signs she was giving. I was completely oblivious. She misinterpreted that, and ended up trying to set me up with a guy she knew. What's really embarrasing is how long it took me to figure that out. I've been friendzoned so hard by another that I was into that she set me up with a friend of hers who was also just looking for a "friend." Second degree friendzone. I hate it when people touch me. It isn't a germaphobia thing(I can shake hands), I just hate when people touch me. I've been like that for as long as I can remember. People used to ask if my parents hit me when I was little because I would reflexively duck out of the way when someone would reach their than out. Seroiusly, what do I have to gain from trying to have a relationship, or even just getting laid? Almost all I see are downsides. |
|
[#27]
I consider relationships and marriage to be nothing more than a modern form of slavery.
I have reached the point of walking clean off the plantation, never to be seen or heard from again. I am not a person that can afford to go in front of a family court judge and explain to them that I deserve at least 1/3rd of my own salary or some other pitiful amount. I literally cannot afford it. If I were to get divorced the financial devastation would mean I would retire at least 15 or 20 years late. I prefer to eschew a pleasure-seeking lifestyle, and live a disciplined life with dignity, freedom, and a sense of purpose. |
|
[#28]
Quoted:
![]() Treat em mean, keep em keen. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
Quoted:
I was just talking to a kid that works for me yesterday. Married 18 months. His wife is a sexy little blonde 22 year old. She loves him to death, lets him do whatever he wants, doesn't nag and is a great person. But he hates being married or really in any relationship. It's not because he wants to bang other chicks and he says he honestly doesn't know why he feels the way he does. It causes him a lot of guilt. We've talked about it quite a bit. But apparently he decided it would be a good idea to come clean a few nights ago. Basically told her he'd been faking it the whole time and he feels horrible that she loves him more than he loves her. She left for the night and came home the next day. They're going to get into counseling and he's going to seek help to see if he has a personality disorder or something. But who knows how it's going to work out long term. Anyway, I can kind of see him fitting into this group. ![]() Treat em mean, keep em keen. I don't know about that. I married at 21 and tried to please for ten years. At some point you give up, and go live on a girlfriend's couch. There's nice guys out there with beautiful bodies that know how to treat a girl. Eventually, one's going to let her cry on his shoulder about the cold fish hubby. |
|
[#29]
Quoted:
You prefer the risk to the reward? Madness. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
It's not that. It's $50 to have sex with a really hot chick once. You don't have to put your self-esteem at risk, don't have to risk the pain of rejection, you don't have to fake emotions to convince someone so they'll have sex with you. It's a transaction where you both get what you really want. She wants money, you want sex. And you get it on demand when you want. And the sex is sometimes just as good as with someone you really want. Sometimes it sucks, just like sometimes when you don't pay for it. That doesn't sound like fun at all. I like the chase, and get bored after it. I like putting it all out there, do you really have anything to lose? You don't if you don't care. ![]() You prefer the risk to the reward? Madness. Get both, but a reward gained through work and adventure is more satisfying. |
|
[#30]
Quoted:
I decided in December 2001 that my list of ex girl friends and ex finances was long and impressive enough. Been single ever since. Haven't dated, haven't banged any split tails, haven't missed them at all. Definitely not gay. Bitches be crazy yo. I'm 51, debt free, credit score of 837, have everything I want or need, and am on track to retire at a decent age. Haters gonna hate. Don't give a shit. Just hate 'em back twice over. View Quote I don't see any reason to hate you. But I don't know if I buy your logic that it's because all women are faulty. I don't want to date men in general either, most people suck. I do want to date those one in a million guys who are awesome. I'd feel silly writing off Prince Charming with the rest of the Joe Schmoes. And I admit my fault in picking bad ones in the past. You can withdraw from dating if you like, just like you can withdraw from eating nightshades because you didn't find eggplant to your liking all the times you tried it. But maybe you're missing out on a certain variety of heirloom tomato that would really trip your switch. But it's your diet, you get to eat what you like. |
|
[#31]
Quoted:
Stories like this I don't get. Proposing and planning a wedding is usually a pretty big deal and a fairly lengthy process-----years usually. At no point during those years of dating/engagement did he think, "You know, I don't really want to be married so maybe I shouldn't propose/have a wedding"? Or worse, I guess, reading back through it-----WHY would he propose and get married when he doesn't even love her? The epitomizes the thing some people (me ![]() View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
Quoted:
I was just talking to a kid that works for me yesterday. Married 18 months. His wife is a sexy little blonde 22 year old. She loves him to death, lets him do whatever he wants, doesn't nag and is a great person. But he hates being married or really in any relationship. It's not because he wants to bang other chicks and he says he honestly doesn't know why he feels the way he does. It causes him a lot of guilt. We've talked about it quite a bit. But apparently he decided it would be a good idea to come clean a few nights ago. Basically told her he'd been faking it the whole time and he feels horrible that she loves him more than he loves her. She left for the night and came home the next day. They're going to get into counseling and he's going to seek help to see if he has a personality disorder or something. But who knows how it's going to work out long term. Anyway, I can kind of see him fitting into this group. Stories like this I don't get. Proposing and planning a wedding is usually a pretty big deal and a fairly lengthy process-----years usually. At no point during those years of dating/engagement did he think, "You know, I don't really want to be married so maybe I shouldn't propose/have a wedding"? Or worse, I guess, reading back through it-----WHY would he propose and get married when he doesn't even love her? The epitomizes the thing some people (me ![]() Lotta times people don't stop giving a shit what other people think about them until after age 30 or 35. So that kid was probably getting married to make people other than himself happy on a subconscious level. |
|
[#32]
Quoted:
I'm not about to join some self-pity club to try and justify my short comings, but I fall into this category. I'm 27 and still a virgin, and never have had any kind of relationship with a girl before. I just suck at social interaction, and fit the phrase "Couldn't get laid in a whorehouse with a fistful of cash". A little over a year ago I decided I'd gone past the point of no return, accepted being alone, and gave up on it all together. View Quote I am pretty sure that this is an exaggeration on your part. Have you seriously struck out in a whorehouse? |
|
[#33]
Quoted:
In on page 5 of this trainwreck. I'm pretty much one of those guys. I don't give it a name or belong to some "group." I just opted out. I don't pick up on social cues easily, and I hate when people touch me. There was this chick that I was really into, but I wasn't picking up on the signs she was giving. I was completely oblivious. She misinterpreted that, and ended up trying to set me up with a guy she knew. What's really embarrasing is how long it took me to figure that out. I've been friendzoned so hard by another that I was into that she set me up with a friend of hers who was also just looking for a "friend." Second degree friendzone. I hate it when people touch me. It isn't a germaphobia thing(I can shake hands), I just hate when people touch me. I've been like that for as long as I can remember. People used to ask if my parents hit me when I was little because I would reflexively duck out of the way when someone would reach their than out. Seroiusly, what do I have to gain from trying to have a relationship, or even just getting laid? Almost all I see are downsides. View Quote Here is my wish for you, and I mean it sincerely: May you find yourself in a woman's arms late one Sunday morning in bed, the both of you giggling hysterically over something really mundane that--for some reason--you both found ridiculously and unaccountably amusing. When she pulls you closer and says (trying to catch her breath) "God, I love our sense of humor...!", may you remember what you wrote above, and a part of you smile inside at just what you've gained. |
|
[#34]
|
|
[#35]
Quoted: Here is my wish for you, and I mean it sincerely: May you find yourself in a woman's arms late one Sunday morning in bed, the both of you giggling hysterically over something really mundane that--for some reason--you both found ridiculously and unaccountably amusing. When she pulls you closer and says (trying to catch her breath) "God, I love our sense of humor...!", may you remember what you wrote above, and a part of you smile inside at just what you've gained. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted: Quoted: In on page 5 of this trainwreck. I'm pretty much one of those guys. I don't give it a name or belong to some "group." I just opted out. I don't pick up on social cues easily, and I hate when people touch me. There was this chick that I was really into, but I wasn't picking up on the signs she was giving. I was completely oblivious. She misinterpreted that, and ended up trying to set me up with a guy she knew. What's really embarrasing is how long it took me to figure that out. I've been friendzoned so hard by another that I was into that she set me up with a friend of hers who was also just looking for a "friend." Second degree friendzone. I hate it when people touch me. It isn't a germaphobia thing(I can shake hands), I just hate when people touch me. I've been like that for as long as I can remember. People used to ask if my parents hit me when I was little because I would reflexively duck out of the way when someone would reach their than out. Seroiusly, what do I have to gain from trying to have a relationship, or even just getting laid? Almost all I see are downsides. Here is my wish for you, and I mean it sincerely: May you find yourself in a woman's arms late one Sunday morning in bed, the both of you giggling hysterically over something really mundane that--for some reason--you both found ridiculously and unaccountably amusing. When she pulls you closer and says (trying to catch her breath) "God, I love our sense of humor...!", may you remember what you wrote above, and a part of you smile inside at just what you've gained. |
|
[#36]
Quoted:
Those 2 things have nothing to do with each other. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Didn't we just to used to call them gay? No, they were called cloistered monks. I'll probably never sleep or have sex with a woman again. Not after having my wife of 30 years leave me. I am not going through that experience again. Those 2 things have nothing to do with each other. Thought the same thing... Something is detached in the logic... |
|
[#37]
Quoted:
Quoted:
Sounds like a bunch of unhealthy, socially awkward neckbearded gamers who've decided porn and video games are better than dealing with rejection. No one wants them but by vowing to "not try", they can tell everyone that they're actually in control of the situation. It's weird to make a thing out of not doing a thing. I tried acting and I was bad at it, but I'm not part of a club made up of people who refuse to act or even audition. I'm just not bothering to take classes, learn monologues or look for work. |
|
[#38]
50$ seems low. I usually pay 150- 175$ an hour. It's well worth the investment. The return on investment is adequate. The long term liability is nothing. It's a no brainer. I've been married 2 times. This is a much better deal.
|
|
[#39]
Quoted:
Guy I used to work with in Iraq explained it thus: "You aren't paying her for sex- you're paying her to LEAVE." View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
Quoted:
I just don't get the hooker thing. The absolute zero self esteem a man must have to decide he's so worthless , that he has to pay a woman to sleep with him. Guy I used to work with in Iraq explained it thus: "You aren't paying her for sex- you're paying her to LEAVE." Because successful married men don't also get hookers? what's self-esteem have to do with anything? |
|
[#40]
|
|
[#41]
Quoted:
They won't get hurt. They don't care. What they won't be is robbed of their entire life's earning by some shrieking harpy. Again View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Didn't we just to used to call them gay? Its also inaccurate. MGTOWs will still fuck women, they just want nothing to do with them socially or in any long term relationship. Overseas sex junkets, prostitutes, occasional easy lay. So they get hurt by careless women, so they become careless men and hurt more women, who become careless, etc. They're just trying to contribute to the circle of dystopia. They won't get hurt. They don't care. What they won't be is robbed of their entire life's earning by some shrieking harpy. Again Fixed. ![]() |
|
[#42]
Quoted:
Maybe their genetics are unnecessary or incompatible. Maybe it's beneficial that they don't breed. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
Quoted:
A successful society would find a way to lure these men into being productive, reproducing members of society. Just another sign of our social decay. however having them work minimum wage jobs and purchasing less does hurt the overall society. monogamous marriage was a mechanism to maximize overall productivity for a society and was the basis of the advance of western civilization. which is why liberals wish to destroy it. |
|
[#44]
Quoted:
In on page 5 of this trainwreck. I'm pretty much one of those guys. I don't give it a name or belong to some "group." I just opted out. I don't pick up on social cues easily, and I hate when people touch me. There was this chick that I was really into, but I wasn't picking up on the signs she was giving. I was completely oblivious. She misinterpreted that, and ended up trying to set me up with a guy she knew. What's really embarrasing is how long it took me to figure that out. I've been friendzoned so hard by another that I was into that she set me up with a friend of hers who was also just looking for a "friend." Second degree friendzone. I hate it when people touch me. It isn't a germaphobia thing(I can shake hands), I just hate when people touch me. I've been like that for as long as I can remember. People used to ask if my parents hit me when I was little because I would reflexively duck out of the way when someone would reach their than out. Seroiusly, what do I have to gain from trying to have a relationship, or even just getting laid? Almost all I see are downsides. View Quote You my friend, I can understand. I don't detect hate, anger, or projection onto women for what you are dealing with. You have looked at your personality logically and decided that the insanity of trying to do what you cannot is not something you would like to experience. Basically you have looked at interaction with people but relationships with women in general and said I know this will fail because of X, Y, and Z in my personality and I'm not going to make myself or that other person insane. You like women and biologically you are wired that way but you can also live without a relationship...to a certain degree. However, I will say it would not hurt to talk to a counselor/therapist/etc. to figure out what is going on with you. Your dislike of touch and logical acceptance of these things leads me to believe that if you want, you can turn some of that around but it is most likely hardwired. I guess my point is, if you want to alter what is occurring, you can, but I'm glad to see you realize your strengths/weaknesses and don't blame others for them. |
|
[#45]
Crazy or not.. it is the only game in town.
More for the rest of us, I suppose. |
|
[#46]
Quoted:
In on page 5 of this trainwreck. I'm pretty much one of those guys. I don't give it a name or belong to some "group." I just opted out. I don't pick up on social cues easily, and I hate when people touch me. There was this chick that I was really into, but I wasn't picking up on the signs she was giving. I was completely oblivious. She misinterpreted that, and ended up trying to set me up with a guy she knew. What's really embarrasing is how long it took me to figure that out. I've been friendzoned so hard by another that I was into that she set me up with a friend of hers who was also just looking for a "friend." Second degree friendzone. I hate it when people touch me. It isn't a germaphobia thing(I can shake hands), I just hate when people touch me. I've been like that for as long as I can remember. People used to ask if my parents hit me when I was little because I would reflexively duck out of the way when someone would reach their than out. Seroiusly, what do I have to gain from trying to have a relationship, or even just getting laid? Almost all I see are downsides. View Quote You sound a lot like my oldest daughter. She has trouble fitting in and doesn't *get* what most people take for granted. It seems like everyone else intuitively knows how to do things and how things work (human interaction-wise) and she feels like she has to restrict her natural tendencies or be ostracized. She also flinches away from touch IF it's not her idea. She's not touchy-feely but she will reach out and give someone a quick hug occasionally----I've seen her do it when leaving her friends----but I wonder if it's something she has to work herself up for and she's doing that too only in order to fit in. I'll have to ask. But if you come at her she won't be receptive. At any rate, she does have a close group of friends (they're all in the *outcast* group at school) and one girl in particular has her head screwed on straight and gives her the same advice we give her and we feel lucky because we know it's more palatable coming from a peer so maybe the messages are getting through. She's 14 and just starting high school which is about the time I threw off all the societal pressure and caring what people thought and that's when I really came into myself and knew who I was. I'm hoping it's the same for her. I do think in situations like yours, success is a combination of making strides towards learning how to cultivate relationships and click with people and finding someone who *gets* you. I don't think it's a lost cause thing at all though. Good luck, man. |
|
[#47]
|
|
[#48]
Quoted:
You sound a lot like my oldest daughter. She has trouble fitting in and doesn't *get* what most people take for granted. It seems like everyone else intuitively knows how to do things and how things work (human interaction-wise) and she feels like she has to restrict her natural tendencies or be ostracized. She also flinches away from touch IF it's not her idea. She's not touchy-feely but she will reach out and give someone a quick hug occasionally----I've seen her do it when leaving her friends----but I wonder if it's something she has to work herself up for and she's doing that too only in order to fit in. I'll have to ask. But if you come at her she won't be receptive. At any rate, she does have a close group of friends (they're all in the *outcast* group at school) and one girl in particular has her head screwed on straight and gives her the same advice we give her and we feel lucky because we know it's more palatable coming from a peer so maybe the messages are getting through. She's 14 and just starting high school which is about the time I threw off all the societal pressure and caring what people thought and that's when I really came into myself and knew who I was. I'm hoping it's the same for her. I do think in situations like yours, success is a combination of making strides towards learning how to cultivate relationships and click with people and finding someone who *gets* you. I don't think it's a lost cause thing at all though. Good luck, man. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
Quoted:
In on page 5 of this trainwreck. I'm pretty much one of those guys. I don't give it a name or belong to some "group." I just opted out. I don't pick up on social cues easily, and I hate when people touch me. There was this chick that I was really into, but I wasn't picking up on the signs she was giving. I was completely oblivious. She misinterpreted that, and ended up trying to set me up with a guy she knew. What's really embarrasing is how long it took me to figure that out. I've been friendzoned so hard by another that I was into that she set me up with a friend of hers who was also just looking for a "friend." Second degree friendzone. I hate it when people touch me. It isn't a germaphobia thing(I can shake hands), I just hate when people touch me. I've been like that for as long as I can remember. People used to ask if my parents hit me when I was little because I would reflexively duck out of the way when someone would reach their than out. Seroiusly, what do I have to gain from trying to have a relationship, or even just getting laid? Almost all I see are downsides. You sound a lot like my oldest daughter. She has trouble fitting in and doesn't *get* what most people take for granted. It seems like everyone else intuitively knows how to do things and how things work (human interaction-wise) and she feels like she has to restrict her natural tendencies or be ostracized. She also flinches away from touch IF it's not her idea. She's not touchy-feely but she will reach out and give someone a quick hug occasionally----I've seen her do it when leaving her friends----but I wonder if it's something she has to work herself up for and she's doing that too only in order to fit in. I'll have to ask. But if you come at her she won't be receptive. At any rate, she does have a close group of friends (they're all in the *outcast* group at school) and one girl in particular has her head screwed on straight and gives her the same advice we give her and we feel lucky because we know it's more palatable coming from a peer so maybe the messages are getting through. She's 14 and just starting high school which is about the time I threw off all the societal pressure and caring what people thought and that's when I really came into myself and knew who I was. I'm hoping it's the same for her. I do think in situations like yours, success is a combination of making strides towards learning how to cultivate relationships and click with people and finding someone who *gets* you. I don't think it's a lost cause thing at all though. Good luck, man. Autism Diagnosis Criteria It sounds like high functioning autism or as they once called it Asperger's (for your daughter and for Gingerbreadman. I've been told the lack of theory of mind abilities is like everyone knows how to get to their friend's house without a map, GPS, etc. but that no matter how people try to explain how to get there a person with high functioning autism just simply doesn't get it. There is no "map" of how to figure out people, social cues, and unspoken knowns. |
|
[#49]
Quoted:
I have neither the time nor the patience to deal with relationships any more. Do I miss sex? Duh. Do I miss the hassle & drama involved with getting laid? Not one bit. View Quote What if I told you that you can have one without the other? Just don't move her in or put a ring on it. |
|
[#50]
Quoted:
Autism Diagnosis Criteria It sounds like high functioning autism or as they once called it Asperger's (for your daughter and for Gingerbreadman. I've been told the lack of theory of mind abilities is like everyone knows how to get to their friend's house without a map, GPS, etc. but that no matter how people try to explain how to get there a person with high functioning autism just simply doesn't get it. There is no "map" of how to figure out people, social cues, and unspoken knowns. View Quote We've discussed the possibility. It's like she got a little of my quirks and a little of his quirks but in her they're kind of magnified. We don't worry too much about her though. When she was younger she drew people to her like moths to a flame. She was so open and happy and talkative that people around us would stop what they were doing to come over and have a conversation with her. That same trait caused people to shy away once she hit middle school age because she was *immature* and *weird.* I think she'd be better off overall if kids these days could enjoy their childhood more and weren't trying to be little adults in 4th grade. ![]() |
|
AR15.COM is the world's largest firearm community and is a gathering place for firearm enthusiasts of all types.
From hunters and military members, to competition shooters and general firearm enthusiasts, we welcome anyone who values and respects the way of the firearm.
Subscribe to our monthly Newsletter to receive firearm news, product discounts from your favorite Industry Partners, and more.
Copyright © 1996-2024 AR15.COM LLC. All Rights Reserved.
Any use of this content without express written consent is prohibited.
AR15.Com reserves the right to overwrite or replace any affiliate, commercial, or monetizable links, posted by users, with our own.