Wear a condom !

She has to decide to kick the habit.  You can't do it for her.  I'd disassociate myself immediately.

I have two friends who simply kicked it themselves. Rock bottom is a myth and so is the 'only through rehab' thing. Not saying OP's friend can do it by herself or even through rehab, just saying some folks just quit.

It is certainly not a myth to some.  Some people have to hit a bottom before they realize, they have to suffer some serious consequence or else why should they quit?  People handle things differently but to claim such is simply a myth is not really realistic based on your limited anecdotal examples.

This. I have on in jail and one that just OD'd. They have to fix themselves. Nothing you can do will help.

The myth is that all addicts have to hit rock bottom, not that some do and some don't.

she's a junkie now... i would avoid her at all costs...

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Had a cop speak at a meeting I was at. He said a lot of dopers looked down on heroin. He said he busted a guy for meth and they were trying to get him to cut a deal and give up his supplier or anyone else. He wouldn't give up any of his own people but he said " So and so is a heroin dealer. That heroin is some bad shit that you guys need to get off the street" He said that is a very common thread amongst dopers an dealers. If they don't use or sell heroin, they really look down on it.

On a side note from the same meeting. These guys were at a conference where a drug expert was speaking and someone asked the expert "if there was one drug you could take away and ensure no one could ever use it, what would it be?" I think a lot of people expected heroin but his answer was huffing. He said it affects so many young kids and they don't realize how harmful it is. He said it kills a lot of brain cells in a hurry.

I think you are assuming that there is a universal definition for rock bottom.  All of the ones that recovered found themselves in a place that they didn't find acceptable.  The breaking point for one might have been sucking dick for heroin and other was missing class to do smack.  Different people have different definitions.  But make no mistake, they have to hit a bottom before they come back up again.  Otherwise they just keep going down.

This will be hard to hear, but you don't matter to her anymore. If you're not somehow enabling her habit, or at least seen as a means to be used for money or support/sympathy from time to time, she has no use for you right now and there is nothing else you can say or do to change that. The only way this situation gets better is if she survives long enough to reach a point where she either musters the personal strength to quit on her own, or (more likely) is forced off the dope through jail, hospital, severe intervention, or some other extreme influence beyond her immediate control

I'm speaking from experience, and I truly hope she gets her shit together, though she has a very tough road ahead of her. I wish you the best as well. Just keep in mind, any mistreatment you or any of her other non-using friends are suffering isn't personal, it's just one of the more lovely parts of what junk does to a user once it takes hold.

I know from experience...  You don't have a friend hooked on dope, you have a liability on your hands.
Participating in their drama only helps them complete their self destructive feedback loop.
She has to want to get better.  Skipping out on rehab indicates a lack of want.

heroin?  absolutely nothing you can do.  her brain has literally been rewired, and the only one who can do anything about it is her.

she's either going to decide that life is more important than junk, or she's going to die.

Let her kill herself.

I watched my dad get arrested for crack when I was eight years old (he'd been using for years and years at that point). He swore up and down he'd never do that shit again. He's been a drug addict and alcoholic (sold and used everything but heroin, his own confession) his entire adult life, but I was eight, so I believed him.

When I was 10, he got arrested in Tampa for cocaine. He swears to this day the cops planted it in his truck. I've never believed him. He also got arrested for DUI the same year or the next one.

A few months ago, my aunt found his foil boat in his headboard when she was cleaning his room (because that's her job, ya know... but hey he's 56, lives with my grandparents, and is "disabled"). I tested it and it immediately showed positive for methamphetamines. This was on a Friday, when he was fucked out of his ever-loving mind. On the following Tuesday he agreed to go to the hospital and later admitted to her he only agreed to go then because he knew it would have cleared out of his system in 4-5 days.

This is after I'd been a cop for two fucking years. He said he "only" used it every 8-10 months (which I believe, because I know how he acts on a regular day-to-day basis and this was so far off the charts there's no way he could hide the physical or mental effects of it from me) as if that made it okay.


I'd also like to add in that I arrested a heroin addict a few months ago (for strangling his girlfriend in a fight after he attempted to steal her purse and her money so he could go buy more heroin). I asked him if he was trying to quit, or if he would take help if it was offered.

He said "fuck no, I love heroin! I don't want to be clean, life sucks... I'd rather be high. You'd love this shit too if you tried it."


You can only help those who will help themselves. Just write your friend off and lock your valuables up.

She still works 40 hours a week at a normal tax paying job. She's not homeless and selling her ass, yet. That's why I've tried to help her, maybe it's still early enough.

Doesn't have to do with whether she lives on the street or in a mansion.

If she doesn't want your help, she won't take it, and she won't get clean. PERIOD.

BTDT. Walk away.

Let natural selection take its course.

How often is she using?  



 

Does she look like that woman from Casino? She was pretty hot back in the day.

Everyday, withdrawal hits her 12-16 hours after she uses.

eject

You might try taking her on a vacation out in the middle of nowhere and watch her go through crazy withdrawals.



I sure as hell wouldn't do it, but would probably make for an interesting experience.

She'll build up more tolerance over time and then that normal tax paying job won't be enough to fund the addiction. At least, not without her ignoring her bills. That's the point where she might start stealing your shit if you still associate with her.

You're at the point where you tossed the anchor out of your fishing boat and it's about to morph into a goddamn ship's anchor on a short leash. Cut the rope now and save your boat.

I was reading about opiate withdrawal, people literaly do masterbate furiously . Due to your brain not producing any feel good chemicals, orgasms make you feel normal for a few moments.

Well, she won't be a normal tax paying job person for long, I'll say that.  That's not horrible, but she's getting there.  Horrible as in probably fucked for life.  



I really hate to give up on people, but there's really no such thing as a recreational user of heroin.   Meth is probably better for you.  She's beyond your help, but you should be ready to give your support if she decides to stop.  Until then, I'd relegate my relationship with her to long-distance communication.  



It's not just her; she gets it somewhere; she does it with other people.  Those people will be stupid, desperate, and potentially dangerous.   Do you really want to have a second-hand connection to people like that?  



 

Your friend died 6 months ago. Her body just hasn't caught up.

First time for every thing

I'm experienced in this more than once.

She is done. She will never be ok.
Yes, it's sad and terrible.

Just give up now :(

Get away from her, she will steal from you,my rent furniture in your name, lie right to,your face. Etc
Sorry.

You don't have a friend anymore.

You have a dope fiend using you.

My son is going through the same thing. I had to evict him Monday.he'll be dead within the year I'd he's not already

Am I in before she steals all of OPs shit?  Then claims he sexually assaulted her when he calls the cops on her?

This 100%

my brother stole everything after he was addicted. it only gets worse until it finally takes her.



 

Walk away. It's the only thing that will protect what's really important...... Yourself

Been there and done that on both sides of the fence. You can't fix this

Not really.

 

Dead wrong and quite frankly dangerous. Rock bottom is a very personal and subjective thing.ADDICTS must their bottom or it simply will not take.

Also, a sample size of two means exactly nothing, the exception simply does not dictate the rule in this case

She is an adult, if she wants to kill herself, that is her prerogative. You did your due diligence.

sometimes the best thing you can do is walk away and let fate play out...hate to say it, but you will end up expending a lot of your time, energy and mental health trying to fix someone who is probably unfixable.

Been there myself..never again.

Give her a picture of Phillip Seymour Hoffman and as her if she wants you to take care of funeral arrangements when she dies after shooting heroin laced with synthetic fentanyl.

So she manages to function still, big whoop, addiction rarely maintains a "norm" or reasonable state. Doubly so for opiates.


The real question you should be asking is who is it you're trying to save? Making excuses for her makes you an enabler. Enablers by and large cannot provide ANY positive or healthy "help" for a true addict. I know it sounds pretty fucked........ And it is.




Fact of the matter is that YOU are not strong,good,powerful,insightful,or stubborn enough to fix this. That road leads to ruin my freind.




Disclaimer: None of the above statement was intended to be confrontational nor a character judgement. You asked and I answered


 

ETA: feel free to PM if you'd like to talk to an addict about addiction. It's what we do

I'm pretty sure you're joking...... But if not, exactly WTF is that supposed to accomplish?

What excuse did I make for her ? I didn't enable anything, I flushed her shit, found a rehab center that would accept her insurance then I drove her there. That's been the extent of my help.

I'm real sorry that I gotta say this man, but ANY action you take that engages her addiction will unfortunately enable it. Apart from severing all ties and deleting them from your life of course. I really suggest AL-ANON groups and working that program for yourself if you're truly committed to "helping" her. And I promise you they are going to tell you much of the same things the wise folks in this thread have already been saying, save yourself first, she's gonna do her thing until she's done. Please friend, seek the help of recovered addicts to guide you in this process, BTDT rule is fully the rule of the land.

After all that, I do applaud you for recognizing a problem and not giving up on her. You're effort, done altruisticly and selflessly, can be very rewarding for your freind as well as yourself. It's a very noble thing to give of ones self in that manner.


If I may, I'd like to leave you with a bit of a quandary. It's a little tidbit from the rooms that saved my life, as well as the rooms that fostered those who undertook their role in the saving (AL-ANON) Really it's just a question that must be answered honestly on both sides of the fence. The caveat being that only a 100% honest answer will yield tangible results.


The question is. "Are you willing to do whatever it takes" sounds simple, it's really anything but. Decide and act accordingly.


"Whatever it takes" (in my experience) is an absolute, non-negotiable willingness to do as you're told by those that have walked through these fires and succeeded. YMMV of course. My whatever was also death, I was willing to fall on the proverbial sword before I'd use again. I'd rather be dead...... No exaggeration or bravado at all.


For the other side of the equation I had to make the same decision. The "whatever" in the majority of these cases was simply walking away while leaving the door open for reconciliation once the drug was gone. I'd like to say that my avg is around .500, but honestly I just lost count along the way. While I still grieve for a lot of the people that were lost, I'm doubly thankful for those that are still here and I can call brother and sister.


I'll reiterate once again, please feel free to reach out if needed. I can't promise the words you want to hear, but I can promise I'll listen and do what I can to help.


Good luck friend

My apologies freind, perhaps "excuses" was a poor choice of words on my part. My point was that your statement really means nothing in the context of opiate addiction. An addict is an addict. Assigning arbitrary value judgments to her outward appearance is no indication of severity or personal dangers of the addiction cycle. That kind of thinking in and of itself is a form of enabling behavior. You're friend is in just as much mortal danger as the one that's selling her ass, whether you choose to acknowledge it or not.

Ohio is loosing about 32 a day (may be a week) to overdoses. Drugs suck, glad I never got into it. Hope your friend can come to her senses.

 

Friendzone.

The only thing you can do with a heroin addict is watch them die.

Move on OP, she won't get better unless she wants to... And even then will probably relapse.

Shun her.

Count her as dead and move on.  Protect the others in your life from her BS.

 Do you want advice that will make you FEEL better? or do you want ACTUAL advice???

The ACTUAL advice is... WALK AWAY.  She wont clean up unless and until SHE wants to.  it might take a Bad trip, It might take an OD. It might take HIV,  It might take her realizing she's giving back alley blowjobs to feed her Habit...but there isnt a FUCKING THING you can do to "Fix" her....  ALL You will be doing by keeping her in your life is Enabling her, and giving her someone to steal from.  A Junkie is a Junkie, is a Junkie..and Junkies are going to do Junkie Shit....which includes stealing anything within reach that can be sold for another Bag.

Treat her like she's already Dead, and say goodbye.

Sorry Op, no real advise.   But I feel for you.  I've lost two close friends in recent years from it. Both were gorgeous girls in their early 20's, well off and educated, absolutely adored by everyone.  

Maybe get some Narcan(?) for her to always carry around?  It's only a matter of time.