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Posted: 1/28/2016 8:16:02 AM EDT
[#1]
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She's been using Heroin for 6 months. One time I caught her shooting up and flushed her shit, if you ever wanna see a doper go nuts have them watch while you flush their stash. I've brought her to rehab twice, she leaves after two days, I dunno what else I can do. Any advice ? yes. stay away from her. |
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Posted: 1/28/2016 8:18:50 AM EDT
[#2]
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You may consider her to be a friend but she sure as hell doesn't think you are her friend. She only has one friend. You ain't it. Break all ties with her--it's the only way. No matter the sad story--the only answer is "NO!" The Beekeeper is wise on this. I had to do this with Siblings. |
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Posted: 1/28/2016 8:21:43 AM EDT
[#3]
Cool
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Posted: 1/28/2016 8:27:04 AM EDT
[#4]
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Nothing you can do. Somebody at that point can only change if they want to. Yep, this here. |
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Posted: 1/28/2016 8:33:41 AM EDT
[#5]
Is this someone you were banging or want to bang?
If it's someone you were banging, you should just consider it over...but you might be able to pull some scratch on occasion (wrap it up, most druggies are diseased). If it's someone you want to bang you are in a dangerous position, she will use you....especially if you are an awkward type who white knights. If it's just a friend with no desire from either of you to bang, just walk away.. |
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Posted: 1/28/2016 9:49:07 AM EDT
[#6]
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She still works 40 hours a week at a normal tax paying job. She's not homeless and selling her ass, yet. That's why I've tried to help her, maybe it's still early enough. lol no Don't white knight her It was too late when she let that dose rip though her veins this morning, and last night, and yesterday morning.. etc |
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Posted: 1/28/2016 10:02:05 AM EDT
[#7]
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I think you are assuming that there is a universal definition for rock bottom. All of the ones that recovered found themselves in a place that they didn't find acceptable. The breaking point for one might have been sucking dick for heroin and other was missing class to do smack. Different people have different definitions. But make no mistake, they have to hit a bottom before they come back up again. Otherwise they just keep going down. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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This. Inpatient rehab is the only way with smack. Sorry to hear, OP. That stuff ruins lives, and not just the user's. I have two friends who simply kicked it themselves. Rock bottom is a myth and so is the 'only through rehab' thing. Not saying OP's friend can do it by herself or even through rehab, just saying some folks just quit. It is certainly not a myth to some. Some people have to hit a bottom before they realize, they have to suffer some serious consequence or else why should they quit? People handle things differently but to claim such is simply a myth is not really realistic based on your limited anecdotal examples. The myth is that all addicts have to hit rock bottom, not that some do and some don't. I think you are assuming that there is a universal definition for rock bottom. All of the ones that recovered found themselves in a place that they didn't find acceptable. The breaking point for one might have been sucking dick for heroin and other was missing class to do smack. Different people have different definitions. But make no mistake, they have to hit a bottom before they come back up again. Otherwise they just keep going down. If you redefine "rock bottom" to mean "any point at which a decision is made", then sure. As in, "I hit rock bottom when my size four dresses felt a little tight and decided I had to cut out desert". |
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Posted: 1/28/2016 10:03:28 AM EDT
[#8]
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Dead wrong and quite frankly dangerous. Rock bottom is a very personal and subjective thing.ADDICTS must their bottom or it simply will not take. Also, a sample size of two means exactly nothing, the exception simply does not dictate the rule in this case Quote HistoryQuoted:
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Nothing you can do. Somebody at that point can only change if they want to. This. Inpatient rehab is the only way with smack. Sorry to hear, OP. That stuff ruins lives, and not just the user's. I have two friends who simply kicked it themselves. Rock bottom is a myth and so is the 'only through rehab' thing. Not saying OP's friend can do it by herself or even through rehab, just saying some folks just quit. Also, a sample size of two means exactly nothing, the exception simply does not dictate the rule in this case If it's subjective, rock bottom could be the OP gently chiding her one more time. |
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Posted: 1/28/2016 10:11:32 AM EDT
[#9]
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This. Haul ass away from her, from here on out you are merely something to be used/abused to score another high. The person you knew is dead. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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Watch your back. Watch your stuff. She is no longer to be trusted, if she ever was. Sorry to say, but the old her you knew is gone forever. This. Haul ass away from her, from here on out you are merely something to be used/abused to score another high. The person you knew is dead. This and this times a million. There is literally nothing you can do, regardless what anyone tells you. THEY have to change themselves. Which means she has to want to change in order for that to happen. I know from personal experience  .
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Posted: 1/28/2016 10:50:00 AM EDT
[#10]
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lol no Don't white knight her It was too late when she let that dose rip though her veins this morning, and last night, and yesterday morning.. etc Quote HistoryQuoted:
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She still works 40 hours a week at a normal tax paying job. She's not homeless and selling her ass, yet. That's why I've tried to help her, maybe it's still early enough. lol no Don't white knight her It was too late when she let that dose rip though her veins this morning, and last night, and yesterday morning.. etc Explaining her status and level of drug addiction is not white knighting. 
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Posted: 1/28/2016 10:53:05 AM EDT
[#11]
In my experience, there is nothing you can do to convince an addict to change their ways.
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Posted: 1/28/2016 11:00:03 AM EDT
[#12]
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Nothing you can do. Somebody at that point can only change if they want to. |
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Posted: 1/28/2016 11:05:41 AM EDT
[#13]
Lost cause...I have a brother that does every drug known, will never change til he's dead! I've never even tried weed
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Posted: 1/28/2016 11:25:03 AM EDT
[#14]
Make sure that her next of kin contact is aware of the situation and easily able to be contacted when she ODs. I do this stuff for a living, it's a lot easier explaining that your loved one died of an overdose when they know the situation and have mentally prepared for it.
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Posted: 1/28/2016 2:02:07 PM EDT
[#15]
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Ohio is loosing about 32 a day (may be a week) to overdoses. Drugs suck, glad I never got into it. Hope your friend can come to her senses. Yep. Two died in the rural county I live in, just last week. One of them was a single-mom I'd know for a couple of years. Very pretty woman with the cutest little girl. Her ex-con boyfriend got her hooked. |
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Posted: 1/28/2016 2:07:14 PM EDT
[#16]
If you TRULY want to help her, first you have to understand addiction and how it affects the addict and those around them.
That means talking to a professional yourself, but I'll cut to the chase: You can be a support, but never an enabler, and you have to establish boundaries and stick to them and be prepared to cut this person off as their trajectory might not ever be healthy or a recovery. If you're not that invested in her, just cut her off now. |
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Posted: 1/28/2016 2:11:21 PM EDT
[#17]
Watch out for you stuff getting stolen.
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Posted: 1/28/2016 2:14:15 PM EDT
[#18]
Read up on Rational Recovery. Until she wants to change, there is nothing you, or anyone else can do. Even sending her to jail won't "cure" her, it will just dry her out until she can again get access to drugs.
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Posted: 1/28/2016 2:15:15 PM EDT
[#19]
Its too bad your friend got into this but for the most part its a death sentence the second they even try it for the first time. Heroin is bad, bad shit. Seriously, what everyone is saying about keeping your distance is unfortunately true. No matter how faithful of a friend you may be, she is not. She is not the person you once knew even when there are moments when she seems like it. I'd offer her help when she's ready but keep her away until she is, if she ever is. The drug is all that matters no matter how much inside they would rather not be doing what they are doing. And the crowd she'll be dealing with to get her score are not human. Stay away!!
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Posted: 1/28/2016 2:15:35 PM EDT
[#20]
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Explaining her status and level of drug addiction is not white knighting. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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She still works 40 hours a week at a normal tax paying job. She's not homeless and selling her ass, yet. That's why I've tried to help her, maybe it's still early enough. lol no Don't white knight her It was too late when she let that dose rip though her veins this morning, and last night, and yesterday morning.. etc Explaining her status and level of drug addiction is not white knighting. I watched twin girls I went to HS with Literally BANKRUPT their parents between Inpatient Rehabs, and theft, Through multiple Prostitution Arrests, Theft Arrests, Multiple Overdoses, Hepatitis, HIV, Addicted babies. It finally took one of the Twins OD'ing all the way for the other to Clean herself up...and she will ALWAYS be one weak moment or bad decision away from going right back down that slope. Beautiful, Beautiful girls that by the time they were 30 looked like they were in their 50's. I think All Told, a solid 15 people from my Graduating class ended up ODing on Heroin..and Lucky me I ended up being there for more than half of them, and having to make the Notifications. You need to be Objective, and if you EVER catch yourself making ANY excuse for her behavior...then its time to run away, its too late to walk at that point. |
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Posted: 1/28/2016 5:19:16 PM EDT
[#21]
Most of the advice in here is repetitive but its that way for a reason. Cause they are right!! Again, from personal experience, you will not change her, ever, if she isn't ready on her own.
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Posted: 1/28/2016 5:32:22 PM EDT
[#22]
I dated a girl for a couple years who became a junky. Anything outside of "Black Snake Moan" good luck. Be prepared for a lot of fucked up shit if you stay in her life.
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Posted: 1/28/2016 5:59:36 PM EDT
[#23]
You've already taken her to a rehab facility, and she left.Twice.
She doesn't want to quit yet. Don't listen to what she says, watch what she does. Until she is ready to quit, there is absolutely nothing you can do. Nothing. The consequences of continued using have to be more severe than facing rehab, Suboxone, methadone, cold turkey, et al. Some people can realize this before they've lost everything. Most do not. You can support her in her recovery. Not while she is using. Everything and everyone is a means to an end goal. More dope. |
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Posted: 1/28/2016 6:05:11 PM EDT
[#24]
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Posted: 1/28/2016 6:08:37 PM EDT
[#25]
Lots of good advice here.
Had to do this with multiple family members. Took my mom a long time to finally realize it but a hands off approach is truly best. By all means be there if she wants to get clean. Until then stay away |
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Posted: 1/28/2016 6:11:28 PM EDT
[#26]
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We have had several members here go through this recently, some with tragic results. I'll tell you mine. My youngest son is a heroin addict. You can't believe anything that comes out of their mouth. Nothing. They will lie, steal, and cheat anyone they can. My son was in jail Christmas Eve. My ex-wife bailed him out, as a Christmas present. He has been back in twice since then. He texted me 2 DAYS AGO WITH A SCAM. I'll sell you my tax deduction for 500 bucks. If you do it tomorrow, I'LL GIVE YOU THE LOW RATE OF 400 BUCKS! ACT TODAY! He's 26. No, I didn't do it. I can give you a lot of stories. But you really only need one. That sucks man, I'm sorry to hear that. I realize every drug addict is someone's kid, but when I hear guys here talk about their own kids it makes it so much worse. Probably because I think about my own 2 year old son. |
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Posted: 1/28/2016 6:14:52 PM EDT
[#27]
Years ago I was trying to help someone. The advice that I was given was to never trust an addict. I wish that I had listened. A buddy of mine started heroin right after a mutual friend of our od and died from it. Some never learn.
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Posted: 1/28/2016 6:18:55 PM EDT
[#28]
Abandon hope, all ye who enter her.
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Posted: 1/28/2016 6:21:08 PM EDT
[#29]
Any pics of her? Her track marks? Her masterbating furiously after you flushed her stash?
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Posted: 1/28/2016 6:22:52 PM EDT
[#30]
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Only person that can help her is her. Can't help someone that won't help their self |
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Posted: 1/28/2016 6:26:06 PM EDT
[#31]
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Any pics of her? Her track marks? Her masterbating furiously after you flushed her stash? 
You're on a roll today dude. |
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Posted: 1/28/2016 6:26:09 PM EDT
[#32]
Quote HistoryThe county I grew up in has had 1 since 1999, according to that. The county I live in now had 131 in 2013. 
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Posted: 1/28/2016 6:34:22 PM EDT
[#33]
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Addiction isn't funny...not time for jokes Quote HistoryQuoted:
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That sounds aweful. 
Pics? He wasn't joking around. Pics? |
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Posted: 1/28/2016 6:36:35 PM EDT
[#34]
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Friendzone. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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Is this your girlfriend? Friendzone. Damn! How sad do you have to be that you can't score with a doper? 
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Posted: 1/28/2016 7:02:07 PM EDT
[#35]
I am extremely close to someone who is an addict. She put me through hell. She became a squatter, living under bridges w/dirty needles, on the streets panhandling, & traveled the country by hopping trains & hitchhiking. She would hit what most people would consider rock bottom but she still used, digging herself deeper & deeper into the great abyss. Two years ago she found out she was pregnant & stopped using heroin but is now on methadone. She is going to school now, has a place to live, taking care of her child & each week lowering the dosage of the methadone so hopefully soon she will no longer be on that. She is slowly getting her shit together.
Your friend has to be ready & it will be a long torturous road until she is. She will lie, cheat & steal to get what she needs. Either be there for her & prepare yourself for heartache or distance yourself & walk away. |
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Posted: 1/28/2016 7:03:21 PM EDT
[#36]
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Damn! How sad do you have to be that you can't score with a doper?
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Is this your girlfriend? Friendzone. Damn! How sad do you have to be that you can't score with a doper?
I could always go bareback in a hookers ass, probably about the same risk. |
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Posted: 2/4/2016 12:18:53 AM EDT
[#37]
She's off to 90 day inpatient rehab in California. We will see.
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Posted: 2/4/2016 12:23:31 AM EDT
[#38]
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She's been using Heroin for 6 months. One time I caught her shooting up and flushed her shit, if you ever wanna see a doper go nuts have them watch while you flush their stash. I've brought her to rehab twice, she leaves after two days, I dunno what else I can do. Any advice ? Why do you think it's called dope? |
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Posted: 2/4/2016 12:32:16 AM EDT
[#39]
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She's of to 90 day inpatient rehab in California. We will see. Excellent, I hope it works out for her. You should realize this is the first of many steps. |
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Posted: 2/4/2016 12:59:06 AM EDT
[#40]
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My son is going through the same thing. I had to evict him Monday.he'll be dead within the year I'd he's not already Damn. I'm sorry. |
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Posted: 2/4/2016 1:16:15 AM EDT
[#41]
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I don't enable her, I also don't leave my friends or family. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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You may consider her to be a friend but she sure as hell doesn't think you are her friend. She only has one friend. You ain't it. Break all ties with her--it's the only way. No matter the sad story--the only answer is "NO!" I don't enable her, I also don't leave my friends or family. |
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Posted: 2/4/2016 1:18:34 AM EDT
[#42]
Quote HistoryQuoted: She's off to 90 day inpatient rehab in California. We will see. If that doesn't work, try sending her to a convent in Mexico. |
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Posted: 2/4/2016 1:21:07 AM EDT
[#43]
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If it's subjective, rock bottom could be the OP gently chiding her one more time. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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Nothing you can do. Somebody at that point can only change if they want to. This. Inpatient rehab is the only way with smack. Sorry to hear, OP. That stuff ruins lives, and not just the user's. I have two friends who simply kicked it themselves. Rock bottom is a myth and so is the 'only through rehab' thing. Not saying OP's friend can do it by herself or even through rehab, just saying some folks just quit. Also, a sample size of two means exactly nothing, the exception simply does not dictate the rule in this case If it's subjective, rock bottom could be the OP gently chiding her one more time. |
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Posted: 2/4/2016 1:23:24 AM EDT
[#44]
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Excellent, I hope it works out for her. You should realize this is the first of many steps. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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She's of to 90 day inpatient rehab in California. We will see. Excellent, I hope it works out for her. You should realize this is the first of many steps. twenty five years in AA you'd think I could spell anonymous. |
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Posted: 2/4/2016 4:45:14 AM EDT
[#45]
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Throwing people away makes for a very small life. My family threw me away. I'm 25 years clean and sober now. My parents have great grand children they have never met. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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You may consider her to be a friend but she sure as hell doesn't think you are her friend. She only has one friend. You ain't it. Break all ties with her--it's the only way. No matter the sad story--the only answer is "NO!" I don't enable her, I also don't leave my friends or family. |
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Posted: 2/4/2016 7:51:00 AM EDT
[#46]
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. what would have happened to you if they didn't cut you off. Do you think things would have turned out different regarding your sobriety or not and for what reasons? Quote HistoryQuoted:
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You may consider her to be a friend but she sure as hell doesn't think you are her friend. She only has one friend. You ain't it. Break all ties with her--it's the only way. No matter the sad story--the only answer is "NO!" I don't enable her, I also don't leave my friends or family. On the addiction side it really doesn't make much difference. the pain of addiction is about the same, family, no family. Job, no job. Stuff, no stuff. On the recovery side of things it made it very difficult. Once I drew the line, I had very little on the sober side of things to anchor me there.Once the aa and na meetings were over with, I went home to an empty apartment where it really didn't seem to matter if I was sober or not. |
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Posted: 2/4/2016 7:54:09 AM EDT
[#47]
Unfortunately--say goodbye to your friend.
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Posted: 2/4/2016 8:07:10 AM EDT
[#48]
she only admits to using for six months. I walked in on a co-worker who had passed out from shooting up - didn't get fired. said it was the first time. yeah, sorry, I was born at night but not last night
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Posted: 2/4/2016 8:25:41 AM EDT
[#49]
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Nothing you can do. Somebody at that point can only change if they want to. This |
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