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Posted: 4/10/2018 8:58:17 PM EST
[Last Edit: 10/19/2020 12:30:36 PM EST by Green_Label]
Wife is 20 weeks pregnant with first baby. She can't decide whether or not she wants an epidural.  Any advice?
Link Posted: 4/10/2018 9:06:44 PM EST
My wife wanted to try it without an epidural.  Went into labor, dilated to 5 cm pretty quickly, then got stuck.  Water had broken, so the clock was ticking.  She spent the next 8 hours in a lot of pain from every contraction, with no further progress.  After a sleepless night in the hospital, she finally acquiesced and had the epidural in the morning.  Within an hour she was fully dilated, and our daughter was born.
Link Posted: 4/10/2018 9:07:07 PM EST
[Last Edit: 4/10/2018 9:07:23 PM EST by TSmasher]
Get one. It will make the whole experience better for both of you
Link Posted: 4/10/2018 9:07:17 PM EST
Get the epidural.
Link Posted: 4/10/2018 9:08:30 PM EST
[Last Edit: 4/10/2018 9:08:56 PM EST by RoadieWingZ]
If she’s not sure, she’ll probably request (demand) one once the contractions are racking her body with pain. My wife gave birth to the first baby without one (God bless her) and was adamant she wasn’t going to get one with the second as well. That all changed about 4 hours after the pain started. Your job is to support her in whatever decision she makes...
Link Posted: 4/10/2018 9:17:57 PM EST
Wife was the same way with our first.   Changed her tune once the pain hit with major contractions half way through... was difficult to do when she was doubling over in pain every couple of minutes... do it at the start!
Link Posted: 4/10/2018 9:20:19 PM EST
Yes, do it (Father of 3).
Link Posted: 4/10/2018 9:20:30 PM EST
My wife gave birth to our two kids without any pain meds and birth at a birthing center rather than a hospital. Yeah it was painful but she dealt with it fine. Drugs aren’t necessarily the best option for many reasons once you read up on it. That, said I’m  not the one pushing so I don’t judge any woman who chooses to use them. To each thier own.
Link Posted: 4/10/2018 9:22:46 PM EST
If your wife is mentally tuff/strong she can do it with out it.

It doesn't matter in the end, they can put one in at any point (pretty much) so if she tries without and can't hack it, all she has to do is say the word.
Link Posted: 4/10/2018 9:48:03 PM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Nick710:
Yes, do it (Father of 3).
View Quote
Seconded by another father of three.
Link Posted: 4/10/2018 9:54:31 PM EST
[Last Edit: 4/10/2018 9:56:11 PM EST by navvet89]
Originally Posted By GraniteClimber:
Wife is 20 weeks pregnant with first baby, everything is good and healthy so far. She can't decide whether or not she wants an epidural.  Any advice?
View Quote
Yes and get it done early. Chances are the person thats doing them will be busy if she waits until she is in excruciating pain and then decides to have one, No Epidural For You.

eta: my wife labored for about 12 hours over night and was like "fuck it, get that epidural in here", easy peasy after that even through the following c-section.
Link Posted: 4/30/2018 5:42:57 AM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By intheburbs:
My wife wanted to try it without an epidural.  Went into labor, dilated to 5 cm pretty quickly, then got stuck.  Water had broken, so the clock was ticking.  She spent the next 8 hours in a lot of pain from every contraction, with no further progress.  After a sleepless night in the hospital, she finally acquiesced and had the epidural in the morning.  Within an hour she was fully dilated, and our daughter was born.
View Quote
Kinda our story as well. try it without, then you can add it later. Just be a team on your decision.
Link Posted: 4/30/2018 6:22:43 AM EST
Is there some sort of honor in suffering extreme pain when modern pharmaceuticals exist?
Link Posted: 4/30/2018 6:39:24 AM EST
Do it. Its difficult enough to birth a child. My wife had one and made it look easy. I cannot imagine watching her in so much pain for hours had she not.
Link Posted: 4/30/2018 7:13:35 AM EST
My wife had 3 with and 1 without.  The last one went poorly and she'll suffer the effects for the rest of her life.

There is risk.  Frankly I would judge the size of the child and the size of the wife and go from there.  birthing hips are a thing.  My wife is pretty small.
Link Posted: 5/8/2018 11:48:57 PM EST
I had c-sections with both of my children but I would have been pro epidural if I had the choice. What’s most important is that if she has a birthing plan she keeps it open. Just let her decide when the time comes. Plan for what your ideal birth will be but be flexible.

Good luck and congrats!
Link Posted: 5/8/2018 11:52:21 PM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Seastate:
Get the epidural.
View Quote
Link Posted: 5/9/2018 12:14:24 AM EST
Hell no.  My wife had three natural labors and insists to this day that to have missed one bit of it would have taken much from the experience.

More important?  Prepare properly.  Read books by ina may gaskin, watch “the business of being born” and do perineal stretches for/with her.
Link Posted: 5/16/2018 8:56:07 PM EST
Get the epidural!  Basically laughed my second baby out.
Most importantly push like hell and then a lot harder than that.
First baby was three pushes
Second baby was 2 pushes

My body did relax enough to dilate past 4 without the epidural but once I got it ..... 20min later at 10cm & pushed baby out.
Link Posted: 5/28/2018 5:15:30 PM EST
I went without with both of my children, and I don’t regret it a bit. If she’s being induced with pitocin, she’ll probably want one; that med is brutal. As Sylvan said, make sure you educate yourself on the side effects and possible complications so you can make an educated, informed decision.
Link Posted: 5/28/2018 5:59:22 PM EST
People who think they are Adult enough to be parents, should be able to make this decision without posting in GD for advise.
Link Posted: 5/29/2018 10:02:58 AM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By PhulesAu:
People who think they are Adult enough to be parents, should be able to make this decision without posting in GD for advise.
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People who post smug, smarmy, pedantic comments should at least have the decency to use proper capitalization, have proper comma usage, and should know the way to spell "advice."
Link Posted: 5/29/2018 10:16:43 AM EST
Lol my wife tried no epidural. Had to balloon dilate her. Not progressing at all. Super long labor. Horrible pain. Worst thing I’ve ever had to watch. I felt helpless. Finally got the epidural and she was able to relax and rest and she finally started dilation and 4 hrs later baby was born. Get the epidural. They don’t give out medals for bravery.
Link Posted: 5/29/2018 10:36:42 AM EST
Wife had 2, neither worked. She felt EVERYTHING.
Link Posted: 5/29/2018 10:39:46 AM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By BassOverflow:
Wife had 2, neither worked. She felt EVERYTHING.
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Not uncommon. Also possible for them to work only on one half of the body and not the other, or for them to cause spinal headaches which can last for over a year after and sometimes require surgery to fix. They aren’t as benign as many people think.
Link Posted: 5/29/2018 11:04:58 AM EST
Don't ignore her mother's experience either - my wife had relatively quick and easy deliveries, just like her mother.  4/4 natural births with no intervention.
Link Posted: 6/15/2018 8:14:30 PM EST
I loved it. I could actually enjoy the delivery. Both times.

Both times I begged for it
Link Posted: 6/15/2018 8:18:29 PM EST
[Last Edit: 10/19/2020 12:29:52 PM EST by Green_Label]
We ended up getting insurance at the beginning of this month and the wife is opting for the epidural
Link Posted: 6/15/2018 8:23:15 PM EST
Voluntary C-section is what you seek. So controlled and non dramatic...
Link Posted: 6/15/2018 8:38:26 PM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By GraniteClimber:
We ended up getting insurance at the beginning of this month and the wife is opting for the epidural... 2 months go to!
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Wise choice.  Congrats in advance
Link Posted: 6/15/2018 9:07:34 PM EST
Originally Posted By GraniteClimber:
Wife is 20 weeks pregnant with first baby, everything is good and healthy so far. She can't decide whether or not she wants an epidural.  Any advice?
View Quote
My wife wanted to go natural until the contractions hit. Get her the epidural.
Link Posted: 6/16/2018 5:12:44 PM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By TexasTechVette:
Voluntary C-section is what you seek. So controlled and non dramatic...
View Quote
No way would I volunteer for that. I give all the props to csection mommas and the recovery that goes with it. That's a whole different ballgame recovery wise. Think about it, you are getting cut straight down through your core muscles that need to take care of your self and a baby.
Link Posted: 6/16/2018 5:13:34 PM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By GraniteClimber:
We ended up getting insurance at the beginning of this month and the wife is opting for the epidural... 2 months go to!
View Quote
Yay!! So exciting!!! I'll live through y'all excitement!!

We are done at 2
Link Posted: 7/3/2018 3:36:22 AM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By GraniteClimber:
We ended up getting insurance at the beginning of this month and the wife is opting for the epidural... 2 months go to!
View Quote
Congrats, nearly there!

Incidentally, I thought I'd tough it out without one, but changed my mind about a third of the way through and wished I had gotten one at the start.
Link Posted: 8/2/2018 2:37:53 PM EST
When it starts to hurt, get the epidural! Especially if induced. I thought I was gonna split in half.
Link Posted: 8/2/2018 2:40:02 PM EST
Originally Posted By GraniteClimber:
Wife is 20 weeks pregnant with first baby, everything is good and healthy so far. She can't decide whether or not she wants an epidural.  Any advice?
View Quote
When the time comes for her to choose, it won't be a tough decision. My girl was dead set on no epidural, when it came time she said f that shit and got one
Link Posted: 10/10/2018 6:58:26 PM EST
[Last Edit: 10/10/2018 6:59:27 PM EST by Green_Canoe]
A little late to the party here.  My wife had two without drugs using the Bradley birthing method.  I highly recomend the Bradley method if you want to try drug free childbirth.  Obviously everyone is different and results may vary.
Link Posted: 10/10/2018 7:12:40 PM EST
[Last Edit: 10/10/2018 7:13:25 PM EST by navvet89]
eta: I see I already replied
Link Posted: 10/13/2018 3:25:44 AM EST
Just an update... baby is about 6 or 7 weeks old now. She had the $13,500 epidural. Probably was a good idea since she was in labor for 30 hours. I still debate who had it worse... me sitting there for 30 hours or her sleeping through most of it cause drugs
Link Posted: 10/13/2018 5:18:50 AM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By ccreyeder:
Wife was the same way with our first.   Changed her tune once the pain hit with major contractions half way through... was difficult to do when she was doubling over in pain every couple of minutes... do it at the start!
View Quote
This, PITA to do between heavy contractions.
Link Posted: 10/26/2018 11:57:20 PM EST
[Last Edit: 10/27/2018 12:01:03 AM EST by Soaring_memories]
For others considering this:

I developed sciatica during my pregnancy so when it came time to have the baby I had a lot of back pain. I thought that the epidural would help but then you are stuck on your butt/back. The meds seems to only numb one side for awhile so I had to have nurses physically shift/roll me so that the meds would flow to the other side as well. It still didnt alleviate all of the pain.

As a first time mom, I had no clue what to expect. I thought that I'd be in so much pain. The contractions were starting to fold ontop of one another. They still only felt like bad cramps, of which I've gotten some hiddeous ones just with my period that I would take meds then go to sleep.

I was so scared of a pain that I had never felt before that I may have actually ended up being in more pain because I removed my option to move around which would have been better for the sciatica.

The choice is ultimately up to the woman but if she doesnt have back issues or the like then using the meds is better than going into a panic in anticipation. It may just help her rest through most of the contractions to gear up for the big pushes.

I labored 18 hours and had to speed up the process with pitocin. The pushing part didnt last long though, about 30 min.

When I could distract myself by watching tv and the like, I barely noticed the earlier contractions.

Glad everything went well! :)
Link Posted: 10/27/2018 1:18:12 AM EST
Get an epidural. If you’re wife wants one too she should go for it,
Link Posted: 12/18/2018 10:37:34 AM EST
1st: Wife wanted to try all naturale. Not long into labor, she wanted epidural.

2nd & 3rd:  Her first and only request after we got to the hospital was epidural.

Yg
Link Posted: 12/18/2018 10:57:01 AM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By YoungGun:
1st: Wife wanted to try all naturale. Not long into labor, she wanted epidural.

2nd & 3rd:  Her first and only request after we got to the hospital was epidural.

Yg
View Quote
This, plus it's alot harder to do when contractions are shorter.  I had to hold her so they could give her the procedure.
Link Posted: 12/20/2018 4:17:57 PM EST
[Last Edit: 12/20/2018 4:19:03 PM EST by RRA_Nut]
There's no award for the pain.  Wife skipped it on the first.  Straight asked for it on the second.
Link Posted: 12/20/2018 4:55:39 PM EST
Congratulations

The ex opted for it both kids. We induced our second. She was having some blood pressure spikes leading up to the due date.

It didn’t quite take. She dialates to like a six and stalled for hours. They re did the epidural and she dialated fully within ten minutes. It was a happy and healthy delivery.

Oh, and you’re a lucky guy op. The name Timber has opened back up for use.
Link Posted: 1/28/2019 8:53:37 PM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By intheburbs:
My wife wanted to try it without an epidural.  Went into labor, dilated to 5 cm pretty quickly, then got stuck.  Water had broken, so the clock was ticking.  She spent the next 8 hours in a lot of pain from every contraction, with no further progress.  After a sleepless night in the hospital, she finally acquiesced and had the epidural in the morning.  Within an hour she was fully dilated, and our daughter was born.
View Quote
pretty much same story for mine...she was exhausted and it made things possible...
Link Posted: 4/11/2020 5:27:25 AM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Naamah:

Not uncommon. Also possible for them to work only on one half of the body and not the other, or for them to cause spinal headaches which can last for over a year after and sometimes require surgery to fix. They aren’t as benign as many people think.
View Quote


Results can depend on the skill of the person placing the epidural and the person's anatomy, and the anatomy part is a complete unknown.  It's possible for them to work better on one side than the other, but there are lots of things that can be done to try and fix that.  My experience is that they are more likely to work well on both sides than to be one sided.  Incidence of a spinal headache is 0.5-1.5% give or take a little depending on the skill of the person and the difficulty of placement.  The natural course of a spinal headache is that they resolve on their own in 5-7 days as long as the person takes it easy.  Sometimes it can take up to 2 weeks.  If you have the headache, you can do what's called an epidural blood patch which is basically repeating the epidural and then instead of putting in the catheter, you inject blood.  It repressurizes the CNS and may help the hole seal up.  It will cause back pain, so you end up trading a headache for back pain.  Is it possible for a spinal headache to last a year?  The longest reported was 19 months.  That's rare.  I've never known of one to last that long, and I've never known of one to require a neurosurgical procedure to repair.  A blood patch will fix 95% of them and a second blood patch will fix >99%.

There are some studies that show epidurals can prolong the first stage of labor which is the dilation portion, but the overall prolongation is relatively small and patient satisfaction is significantly increased.  There are other studies that show they do not prolong labor.  They do not increase the risk of C-section.  Nor do they increase the risk of postpartum back pain.

Pain is by definition subjective.  What might be a 2 for me could be a 10 for you and vice versa, so if your best friend did it without one, good for her.  That doesn't mean she's any better for doing that.  You don't get a gold star for going without one, nor do you get a special treat for getting one.  Odds are you live indoors with running water and indoor plumbing and take advantage of the technological advances that make modern life more comfortable.  There's nothing wrong with taking advantage of the miracles of modern medicine and getting an epidural.  But millions of women give birth every year without them.  If you start without one and decide the pain isn't worth it, then get one and don't feel like a weakling.  Important thing is to have a safe delivery and healthy baby.  Lots of ways to do that.
Link Posted: 4/11/2020 5:58:12 AM EST
My wife decided to get the epidural.

Link Posted: 10/17/2020 8:30:00 PM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By bubalus:


Results can depend on the skill of the person placing the epidural and the person's anatomy, and the anatomy part is a complete unknown.  It's possible for them to work better on one side than the other, but there are lots of things that can be done to try and fix that.  My experience is that they are more likely to work well on both sides than to be one sided.  Incidence of a spinal headache is 0.5-1.5% give or take a little depending on the skill of the person and the difficulty of placement.  The natural course of a spinal headache is that they resolve on their own in 5-7 days as long as the person takes it easy.  Sometimes it can take up to 2 weeks.  If you have the headache, you can do what's called an epidural blood patch which is basically repeating the epidural and then instead of putting in the catheter, you inject blood.  It repressurizes the CNS and may help the hole seal up.  It will cause back pain, so you end up trading a headache for back pain.  Is it possible for a spinal headache to last a year?  The longest reported was 19 months.  That's rare.  I've never known of one to last that long, and I've never known of one to require a neurosurgical procedure to repair.  A blood patch will fix 95% of them and a second blood patch will fix >99%.

There are some studies that show epidurals can prolong the first stage of labor which is the dilation portion, but the overall prolongation is relatively small and patient satisfaction is significantly increased.  There are other studies that show they do not prolong labor.  They do not increase the risk of C-section.  Nor do they increase the risk of postpartum back pain.

Pain is by definition subjective.  What might be a 2 for me could be a 10 for you and vice versa, so if your best friend did it without one, good for her.  That doesn't mean she's any better for doing that.  You don't get a gold star for going without one, nor do you get a special treat for getting one.  Odds are you live indoors with running water and indoor plumbing and take advantage of the technological advances that make modern life more comfortable.  There's nothing wrong with taking advantage of the miracles of modern medicine and getting an epidural.  But millions of women give birth every year without them.  If you start without one and decide the pain isn't worth it, then get one and don't feel like a weakling.  Important thing is to have a safe delivery and healthy baby.  Lots of ways to do that.
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Originally Posted By bubalus:
Originally Posted By Naamah:

Not uncommon. Also possible for them to work only on one half of the body and not the other, or for them to cause spinal headaches which can last for over a year after and sometimes require surgery to fix. They aren’t as benign as many people think.


Results can depend on the skill of the person placing the epidural and the person's anatomy, and the anatomy part is a complete unknown.  It's possible for them to work better on one side than the other, but there are lots of things that can be done to try and fix that.  My experience is that they are more likely to work well on both sides than to be one sided.  Incidence of a spinal headache is 0.5-1.5% give or take a little depending on the skill of the person and the difficulty of placement.  The natural course of a spinal headache is that they resolve on their own in 5-7 days as long as the person takes it easy.  Sometimes it can take up to 2 weeks.  If you have the headache, you can do what's called an epidural blood patch which is basically repeating the epidural and then instead of putting in the catheter, you inject blood.  It repressurizes the CNS and may help the hole seal up.  It will cause back pain, so you end up trading a headache for back pain.  Is it possible for a spinal headache to last a year?  The longest reported was 19 months.  That's rare.  I've never known of one to last that long, and I've never known of one to require a neurosurgical procedure to repair.  A blood patch will fix 95% of them and a second blood patch will fix >99%.

There are some studies that show epidurals can prolong the first stage of labor which is the dilation portion, but the overall prolongation is relatively small and patient satisfaction is significantly increased.  There are other studies that show they do not prolong labor.  They do not increase the risk of C-section.  Nor do they increase the risk of postpartum back pain.

Pain is by definition subjective.  What might be a 2 for me could be a 10 for you and vice versa, so if your best friend did it without one, good for her.  That doesn't mean she's any better for doing that.  You don't get a gold star for going without one, nor do you get a special treat for getting one.  Odds are you live indoors with running water and indoor plumbing and take advantage of the technological advances that make modern life more comfortable.  There's nothing wrong with taking advantage of the miracles of modern medicine and getting an epidural.  But millions of women give birth every year without them.  If you start without one and decide the pain isn't worth it, then get one and don't feel like a weakling.  Important thing is to have a safe delivery and healthy baby.  Lots of ways to do that.


I know this is a bit of a post resurrection, but this post deserves a thumbs up.

My one addition would be: the time to choose is NOT at 9-10cm dilution. If I’m trying to get someone comfortable in very late labor, and she tells me she needs to poop or needs to push, delivering the baby will take priority over elective pain relief.

FWIW, I don’t like how some OB staff try to sell people on blood patches before doing conservative measures. It’s still  an invasive procedure that involves injecting nutrient rich broth into a place that doesn’t do well with infections.
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