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Posted: 4/24/2017 1:48:36 AM EDT
[#1]
Not married, been engaged for 4 months to a woman I have dated for 4 years.
I think you have the wrong idea, I'm not done with the chase, but now the chase is focused on one specific woman. |
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Posted: 4/24/2017 1:56:50 AM EDT
[#2]
Tag for insight on my favorite sex.
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Posted: 4/24/2017 2:00:40 AM EDT
[#3]
Building a great life together becomes the new chase.
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Posted: 4/24/2017 2:00:50 AM EDT
[#4]
Kinda like the above, just a different game. Marriage (or the thrill of it) is what you make of it. You can't get more out than you put in.
ETA: except babies, the more you put in, the more you get out.... |
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Posted: 4/24/2017 2:04:53 AM EDT
[#5]
I screenshoted your post, and I'll post it in your "Arfcom Curse Strikes Again" thread.
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Posted: 4/24/2017 2:05:25 AM EDT
[#6]
I never really enjoyed the chase, so no, I don't miss it.
There have been a few times where I could have, maybe that animal part of you will want to, but you have to walk away. |
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Posted: 4/24/2017 2:16:32 AM EDT
[#7]
Quoted:
30 years old. Just got engaged a couple months ago. Been through 2 deployments together over 3 years, best girl in the world in my opinion. That being said, just being with one woman scares the ever living shit out of me. I feel like I will miss the thrill of the chase. Does it ever go away? How do you deal? "There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it." Oscar Wilde You can spend your life with "the best girl in the world" who has already stuck with you for three years through two deployments or you can continue seeking the "thrill of the chase" until you wind up a bitter asshole with nothing to show for your life and nobody to spend it with except a bunch of memories of those you once loved who are dead while you move about watching others live and love. I can tell you that for me there is no "thrill of the chase" that I have experienced that compares with that look of someone who wants and loves you or waking up with them every day or that feeling when they run and jump in your arms and look at you as if you are the only person on earth nor any "chase" that fills the void left by that someone who gave you that experience only to leave you waiting for your turn to die. It's your life. Do with it what you will. 
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Posted: 4/24/2017 2:21:48 AM EDT
[#8]
You'll find out you'll chase your wife a lot more than you chase your dates.
It's a different kind of chase but you're definitely going too be chasing her. It's a whole new set of puzzles to solve. The good news is when you figure them out, you can tie your wife up and do all sorts of unspeakable things to her and she'll like it. |
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Posted: 4/24/2017 2:29:40 AM EDT
[#9]
The chase sucks.
Watching men and women going through the mating dances..Everytime makes me glad I married young and don't have to deal with that shit.  Attached File |
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Posted: 4/24/2017 2:33:17 AM EDT
[#10]
I always found "the chase" to be woefully depressing.
I stumbled across my wife at your age, and am happier for it. We've both watched so many of our friends get divorced over the years, we appreciate having found each other. |
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Posted: 4/24/2017 2:39:52 AM EDT
[#11]
Quoted:
30 years old. Just got engaged a couple months ago. Been through 2 deployments together over 3 years, best girl in the world in my opinion. That being said, just being with one woman scares the ever living shit out of me. I feel like I will miss the thrill of the chase. Does it ever go away? How do you deal? If you got engaged to the right woman, you will get over the thrill of the chase, if you have not committed and you still want to cat around, you have not met the right woman. I have been married to my wife for 30 years in July, been with her for 33 years and have never been tempted to cat around on her, she has stayed and stuck with me through think and thin. Spend a long weekend by yourself and play the old paper game, draw a line down the middle, and start writing down the pluses on one side and the minuses on the other and see what you come out with at the end of the weekend. If you have more pluses than minuses, you have found the right girl... |
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Posted: 4/24/2017 3:04:13 AM EDT
[#12]
Priorities. What are yours?
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Posted: 4/24/2017 3:04:48 AM EDT
[#13]
I'm going to be honest here and talk some truth that ain't PC...
There are men and then there are men. Some men are happy to be in a stable, calm, predictable world. Other men sail ships across the ocean, climb mountains, and crave challenge. The second group tends to do things like discover new worlds, fight wars, slaughter jihadists, and so on. Men who crave victory will always crave victory. They can manage it...but deep inside, that craving is there. It hurts and it burns and it wants to be fed. It is reflexive...not always deliberate and it will always circle back, no matter how hard you push it down. Risk seeking behavior follows those men. They will do things for fun that are simply dangerous and stupid. They will take chances where the risk does not outweigh the gain/loss. Whatever that "risk" is for you...good luck. War, sex, fast cars, flying, whitewater...whatever your drug, you will crave it forever. You can channel that energy into being an awesome father and the best husband in the world...but it will still be there waiting to tap that adrenaline and show you a mountain to climb, an ocean to cross, and a war with your name on it. Good luck. |
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Posted: 4/24/2017 3:07:12 AM EDT
[#14]
Should have answered this question to yourself before asking her the big question.
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Posted: 4/24/2017 3:16:52 AM EDT
[#15]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I'm going to be honest here and talk some truth that ain't PC... There are men and then there are men. Some men are happy to be in a stable, calm, predictable world. Other men sail ships across the ocean, climb mountains, and crave challenge. The second group tends to do things like discover new worlds, fight wars, slaughter jihadists, and so on. Men who crave victory will always crave victory. They can manage it...but deep inside, that craving is there. It hurts and it burns and it wants to be fed. It is reflexive...not always deliberate and it will always circle back, no matter how hard you push it down. Risk seeking behavior follows those men. They will do things for fun that are simply dangerous and stupid. They will take chances where the risk does not outweigh the gain/loss. Whatever that "risk" is for you...good luck. War, sex, fast cars, flying, whitewater...whatever your drug, you will crave it forever. You can channel that energy into being an awesome father and the best husband in the world...but it will still be there waiting to tap that adrenaline and show you a mountain to climb, an ocean to cross, and a war with your name on it. Good luck. I am glad I am now retired, it has really been a blessing for both myself and her!
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Posted: 4/24/2017 3:17:22 AM EDT
[#16]
Obviously not ready for marriage. I've had friends who were like this and pretty much didn't want the girl to get away or find someone else. Every one of them got a divorce.
At 30 you should be ready. If you aren't you probably will never be ready. |
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Posted: 4/24/2017 3:21:04 AM EDT
[#17]
Quoted:
30 years old. Just got engaged a couple months ago. Been through 2 deployments together over 3 years, best girl in the world in my opinion. That being said, just being with one woman scares the ever living shit out of me. I feel like I will miss the thrill of the chase. Does it ever go away? How do you deal? If I ran into the absolute right one for me, I'd be happy to have just her and her alone, no games and no stupid cheating. I'd rather be doing something fun or experiencing something new than chasing tail. |
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Posted: 4/24/2017 3:21:26 AM EDT
[#18]
Quoted:
30 years old. Just got engaged a couple months ago. Been through 2 deployments together over 3 years, best girl in the world in my opinion. That being said, just being with one woman scares the ever living shit out of me. I feel like I will miss the thrill of the chase. Does it ever go away? How do you deal? = May if that's worrying you then you probably are not ready for marriage. |
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Posted: 4/24/2017 3:24:04 AM EDT
[#19]
Honor, integrity and morality keeps your word to your betrothed to never stray.
The lack there of will lead to failure. Some have it, some do not. I was married 3 times, Never swore to be faithful or forsake others and was honest and up front about Being unable to do that. Told them to accept that or cut the relationship before it went beyond casual dating. |
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Posted: 4/24/2017 3:24:22 AM EDT
[#20]
Quoted:
30 years old. Just got engaged a couple months ago. Been through 2 deployments together over 3 years, best girl in the world in my opinion. That being said, just being with one woman scares the ever living shit out of me. I feel like I will miss the thrill of the chase. Does it ever go away? How do you deal? You know what would be a great conversation? Ask your fiancée. How does she deal with that scary thought? Honestly? As awesome as your girl sounds...I'll bet there's an even better one out there. You should try to find her while you're still young! |
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Posted: 4/24/2017 3:27:04 AM EDT
[#21]
Still chasing same girl for the last 20 years. Sometimes she lets me catch her.
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Posted: 4/24/2017 3:31:13 AM EDT
[#22]
The very idea of the Chase, is obsolete in today's Tinderrimmer Age.
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Posted: 4/24/2017 3:31:24 AM EDT
[#23]
The key is, you need to be ready to accept, you don't want to chase tail any longer, you want to be with the same person day in day out, thick and thin, anger and happiness, if you don't think you are ready or she don't think she is ready to accept those very simple commitments, then you are not ready to get married or be committed to one person yet. Have a long heart felt talk with her and find out what her thoughts are, that will probably give you some direction.
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Posted: 4/24/2017 3:36:41 AM EDT
[#24]
If you've been together for that long, I'm not sure what "chase" you've been engaging in.
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Posted: 4/24/2017 4:43:21 AM EDT
[#25]
You are not worried about the chase or some such thing. You wanna know if you can commit to having sex with the same woman till you die.
I've been married 11 years now to a woman I dated for a lot of years prior to marriage. She still excites me. I enjoy her company, we've been through a ton together and changed together. That doesn't mean that I don't find other women attractive or some such bullshit like that. But the thought of breaking her heart squashes any thoughts of what 'chasing' another would be like. I don't want to fuck other women because I love and actually care about her. If you could live with yourself breaking her heart because she knew you cheated on her don't get married. |
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Posted: 4/24/2017 5:06:34 AM EDT
[#26]
You want a successful marriage? Continue to chase your Wife.
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Posted: 4/24/2017 5:08:27 AM EDT
[#27]
Don't get married then. Seriously do not do it.
Your married buddies only want you to get married too so you will be as miserable as them. |
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Posted: 4/24/2017 5:20:28 AM EDT
[#28]
Quoted:
30 years old. Just got engaged a couple months ago. Been through 2 deployments together over 3 years, best girl in the world in my opinion. That being said, just being with one woman scares the ever living shit out of me. I feel like I will miss the thrill of the chase. Does it ever go away? How do you deal? |
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Posted: 4/24/2017 5:25:15 AM EDT
[#29]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I'm going to be honest here and talk some truth that ain't PC... There are men and then there are men. Some men are happy to be in a stable, calm, predictable world. Other men sail ships across the ocean, climb mountains, and crave challenge. The second group tends to do things like discover new worlds, fight wars, slaughter jihadists, and so on. Men who crave victory will always crave victory. They can manage it...but deep inside, that craving is there. It hurts and it burns and it wants to be fed. It is reflexive...not always deliberate and it will always circle back, no matter how hard you push it down. Risk seeking behavior follows those men. They will do things for fun that are simply dangerous and stupid. They will take chances where the risk does not outweigh the gain/loss. Whatever that "risk" is for you...good luck. War, sex, fast cars, flying, whitewater...whatever your drug, you will crave it forever. You can channel that energy into being an awesome father and the best husband in the world...but it will still be there waiting to tap that adrenaline and show you a mountain to climb, an ocean to cross, and a war with your name on it. Good luck. |
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Posted: 4/24/2017 5:25:49 AM EDT
[#30]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I don't believe that, I have jumped out of airplanes, helicopter skied all over the world, been to war, more times than any man should, raced motocross, drag cars and track cars, been confronted by grizzlies and generally lived a pretty dangerous life, but the once constant in my life has been the woman that loves me. She has never failed to be there when I need her. The right woman understands the need for thrills in a life, but also understand the need to be there for those she loves and trusts. And I have been there as much as possible for her, despite my many deployments over the years. I am glad I am now retired, it has really been a blessing for both myself and her! Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
I'm going to be honest here and talk some truth that ain't PC... There are men and then there are men. Some men are happy to be in a stable, calm, predictable world. Other men sail ships across the ocean, climb mountains, and crave challenge. The second group tends to do things like discover new worlds, fight wars, slaughter jihadists, and so on. Men who crave victory will always crave victory. They can manage it...but deep inside, that craving is there. It hurts and it burns and it wants to be fed. It is reflexive...not always deliberate and it will always circle back, no matter how hard you push it down. Risk seeking behavior follows those men. They will do things for fun that are simply dangerous and stupid. They will take chances where the risk does not outweigh the gain/loss. Whatever that "risk" is for you...good luck. War, sex, fast cars, flying, whitewater...whatever your drug, you will crave it forever. You can channel that energy into being an awesome father and the best husband in the world...but it will still be there waiting to tap that adrenaline and show you a mountain to climb, an ocean to cross, and a war with your name on it. Good luck. I am glad I am now retired, it has really been a blessing for both myself and her! The key is being married to a woman that doesn't fret over your fun activities or work, thinks you are interesting for it, and wants you to enjoy life while still knowing what you are enjoying might kill you, while also realising you could get killed driving to work to sit in a cubicle. For someone that likes risk and fun things married to a woman that is going to worry and not want you to do those things and wants you to change is going to be a problem. I would go winter mountaineering, rock climbing, ice climbing, to work flying a fighter, paragliding, deploying to places when I could not tell her where I was going or when I would be back, not once did she not want me to go or have a probem with what I was doing. |
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Posted: 4/24/2017 5:28:42 AM EDT
[#31]
It was a whole lot HARDER and by far much more rewarding for me to commit to my wife than to chase, ground and snag any of the great women and sex I encountered in my life.
It's not entirely unheard of to channel that sex drive chase into other aspects of your life. |
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Posted: 4/24/2017 5:57:23 AM EDT
[#32]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Building a great life together becomes the new chase. |
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Posted: 4/24/2017 6:04:17 AM EDT
[#33]
I remember 30.
Man up and do it. Stop thinking of the chicks you haven't nailed. 55 comes quickly. |
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Posted: 4/24/2017 6:09:48 AM EDT
[#34]
Quoted:
30 years old. Just got engaged a couple months ago. Been through 2 deployments together over 3 years, best girl in the world in my opinion. That being said, just being with one woman scares the ever living shit out of me. I feel like I will miss the thrill of the chase. Does it ever go away? How do you deal? The thrill will transcend into trying to keep that woman. Trust me, being w/just one man scares the hell out of the majority of females too. |
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Posted: 4/24/2017 6:11:23 AM EDT
[#35]
You always not get married and stay engaged for 15 years like my buddy did.
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Posted: 4/24/2017 6:36:05 AM EDT
[#36]
Quoted:
30 years old. Just got engaged a couple months ago. Been through 2 deployments together over 3 years, best girl in the world in my opinion. That being said, just being with one woman scares the ever living shit out of me. I feel like I will miss the thrill of the chase. Does it ever go away? How do you deal? |
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Posted: 4/24/2017 6:40:03 AM EDT
[#37]
Never had the urge to "chase" and still don't. I WANT one woman for the rest of my life.
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Posted: 4/24/2017 6:42:04 AM EDT
[#38]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Not married, been engaged for 4 months to a woman I have dated for 4 years. I think you have the wrong idea, I'm not done with the chase, but now the chase is focused on one specific woman. You've focused on her & you do all the same things "in pursuit" with her as your goal. It's worked with my wife & me thru cancer, age, orthopedic problems for over 25 years. Remember first & foremost she your best friend whom you love, so the consequences of all your actions impact her, just like your team-mates when you were in the service. If you & your needs/wants matter more to you than her/your teammates, you aren't ready for this step, which is why relationships fail, IME. OP, I wish you the best & hope it works out. |
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Posted: 4/24/2017 6:50:11 AM EDT
[#39]
If you marry the right one, the "thrill" never goes away, YMMV.
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Posted: 4/24/2017 6:52:34 AM EDT
[#40]
Sounds like you haven't found the right one...
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Posted: 4/24/2017 6:57:44 AM EDT
[#41]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Tag for insight on my favorite sex.  Gold right there....
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Posted: 4/24/2017 6:58:38 AM EDT
[#42]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I'm going to be honest here and talk some truth that ain't PC... There are men and then there are men. Some men are happy to be in a stable, calm, predictable world. Other men sail ships across the ocean, climb mountains, and crave challenge. The second group tends to do things like discover new worlds, fight wars, slaughter jihadists, and so on. Men who crave victory will always crave victory. They can manage it...but deep inside, that craving is there. It hurts and it burns and it wants to be fed. It is reflexive...not always deliberate and it will always circle back, no matter how hard you push it down. Risk seeking behavior follows those men. They will do things for fun that are simply dangerous and stupid. They will take chances where the risk does not outweigh the gain/loss. Whatever that "risk" is for you...good luck. War, sex, fast cars, flying, whitewater...whatever your drug, you will crave it forever. You can channel that energy into being an awesome father and the best husband in the world...but it will still be there waiting to tap that adrenaline and show you a mountain to climb, an ocean to cross, and a war with your name on it. Good luck. Every minute in a stable relationship will work towards diminishing that "craving" The thought of hurting your wife or family is a powerful fear/motivator. |
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Posted: 4/24/2017 6:58:54 AM EDT
[#43]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Not married, been engaged for 4 months to a woman I have dated for 4 years. I think you have the wrong idea, I'm not done with the chase, but now the chase is focused on one specific woman. hopefully the thrill never goes away. |
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Posted: 4/24/2017 6:59:55 AM EDT
[#44]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
"There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it." Oscar Wilde You can spend your life with "the best girl in the world" who has already stuck with you for three years through two deployments or you can continue seeking the "thrill of the chase" until you wind up a bitter asshole with nothing to show for your life and nobody to spend it with except a bunch of memories of those you once loved who are dead while you move about watching others live and love. I can tell you that for me there is no "thrill of the chase" that I have experienced that compares with that look of someone who wants and loves you or waking up with them every day or that feeling when they run and jump in your arms and look at you as if you are the only person on earth nor any "chase" that fills the void left by that someone who gave you that experience only to leave you waiting for your turn to die. It's your life. Do with it what you will. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
30 years old. Just got engaged a couple months ago. Been through 2 deployments together over 3 years, best girl in the world in my opinion. That being said, just being with one woman scares the ever living shit out of me. I feel like I will miss the thrill of the chase. Does it ever go away? How do you deal? "There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it." Oscar Wilde You can spend your life with "the best girl in the world" who has already stuck with you for three years through two deployments or you can continue seeking the "thrill of the chase" until you wind up a bitter asshole with nothing to show for your life and nobody to spend it with except a bunch of memories of those you once loved who are dead while you move about watching others live and love. I can tell you that for me there is no "thrill of the chase" that I have experienced that compares with that look of someone who wants and loves you or waking up with them every day or that feeling when they run and jump in your arms and look at you as if you are the only person on earth nor any "chase" that fills the void left by that someone who gave you that experience only to leave you waiting for your turn to die. It's your life. Do with it what you will.  TaxMonkey gets it. Bravo sir.
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Posted: 4/24/2017 7:06:41 AM EDT
[#45]
The older you get, the more you have only the crazy eye to chase. You don't want the crazy eye. They bang you neighbors while you are deployed, take your guns to the pawn shop, wreck your car/truck.
And the crazy eye isn't just crazy in bed, they are crazy ALL THE TIME! I am sooooo lucky to have a level headed lady. |
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Posted: 4/24/2017 7:09:04 AM EDT
[#46]
The cold hard truth is this. If you are getting married and are thinking , man I'm gonna miss banging stranger chicks from the bar that I managed to seduce, your marriage will fail.
I can imagine that being the type of man that is successful at picking up women , that ........power could be intoxicating. Your sense of self worth , your ego boosted by every woman that hears your schtick and says "fuck me" The thought that you must be oh so good looking strokes your ego as well. I don't know as I've never picked up a stranger and fucked her. But what I do know is this.....the current prevelant idea that the grass is indeed greener, is wrecking society . Op , you have a woman is is giving you her life . Her one life. Her only life . That deserves a hell of a lot more respect than , "omg I won't be allowed to pick up bar skanks anymore , wtfbbq what am I gonna do?" What you should be thinking : This wonderful woman that I think is awesome is giving me her life , holy fucking shit, am I worthy of THAT? And then you set out to prove that you are . |
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Posted: 4/24/2017 7:11:48 AM EDT
[#47]
I was tired of the BS and found the right woman. It's not always easy, and you still find other woman physically attractive but that's all. I'm not a drama guy. I know I have it good after 21 yrs.
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Posted: 4/24/2017 7:14:13 AM EDT
[#48]
It's called settling down for a reason. If you're not ready for that, don't do it.
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Posted: 4/24/2017 7:14:29 AM EDT
[#49]
Quoted:
30 years old. Just got engaged a couple months ago. Been through 2 deployments together over 3 years, best girl in the world in my opinion. That being said, just being with one woman scares the ever living shit out of me. I feel like I will miss the thrill of the chase. Does it ever go away? How do you deal? |
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Posted: 4/24/2017 7:14:40 AM EDT
[#50]
Not sure how to express this on an iPad with little coffee in my system.
You chase different things. I chase my wife and kids. I'm up right now working so that when my children are older we can travel and have fun both with the children and without them. The things I chase now are more meaningful and rewarding than the pussy I used to chase. Sure I see a hot chick and think "man that would be fun to take for a spin". But it's nothing I have any desire to act upon or chase. When I was single and had no kids sure I was looking towards the future, but no where near as much as I am now. I want my backyard set up for relaxing with the wife and a bad ass play area for my kids. When I was single it was set up for a party. Pussy was easy, a family is more work, but a ton more rewarding. |
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