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Posted: 4/24/2015 10:05:24 AM EDT
[#1]
God damnit.
Wait no that's easy. |
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Posted: 4/24/2015 10:05:27 AM EDT
[#2]
Those jeans make your hips look big.
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Posted: 4/24/2015 10:05:37 AM EDT
[#3]
Quoted:
I'll start. "You're blowing this all out of proportion." Yeah I guess we didn't just do this thread yesterday. |
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Posted: 4/24/2015 10:06:02 AM EDT
[#4]
im not attracted to you......
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Posted: 4/24/2015 10:06:05 AM EDT
[#5]
"are you going to just sit there all day and watch that dumb game?"
"nah, going to sit here and watch your ass grow wider" |
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Posted: 4/24/2015 10:06:23 AM EDT
[#6]
You are fucking crazy
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Posted: 4/24/2015 10:06:39 AM EDT
[#7]
"Hitler killed a ton of jews, but at least he had a job."
Didn't calm the situation one bit. She did get a PT job and stopped complaining about me needing a 2nd one. For about 2 months. Then she quit. And started complaining again. |
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Posted: 4/24/2015 10:07:43 AM EDT
[#8]
Everything.
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Posted: 4/24/2015 10:07:52 AM EDT
[#9]
My gun collection is worth xxx(it's actual value)
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Posted: 4/24/2015 10:07:56 AM EDT
[#10]
I dropped the foxtrot bravo once. a friend of mine did the DFC. we've both since moved on
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Posted: 4/24/2015 10:08:24 AM EDT
[#11]
Shut up, and listen for a minute!
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Posted: 4/24/2015 10:10:17 AM EDT
[#12]
"Calm down."
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Posted: 4/24/2015 10:10:17 AM EDT
[#13]
"I want a girlfriend as an anniversary present."
I actually said that as I was walking out the door for a three day trip. It was said in a playful manner, and the joking tone didn't quite make it to the wife.
I don't recommend it. 
I won't say it again. |
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Posted: 4/24/2015 10:10:25 AM EDT
[#14]
You're wrong.
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Posted: 4/24/2015 10:10:42 AM EDT
[#15]
Yes it does make you look fat.
That was a really stupid thing to say. Shut the fuck up. Are you a retard? Can you please rinse the plate off before you put it in the sink? I may have said one or more of these in the past, I know better now. |
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Posted: 4/24/2015 10:10:57 AM EDT
[#16]
I've found that generic insults like "dumb cunt", stupid twat", dumb fucking woman", stupid whore", "dumb bitch", "fucking bitch" don't really work.
Personal insults are where it's at. |
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Posted: 4/24/2015 10:11:17 AM EDT
[#17]
Yeah, you should put on a shirt with some sleeves.
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Posted: 4/24/2015 10:11:50 AM EDT
[#18]
Its not he jeans that make you look fat, its your fat ass that makes you look fat.
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Posted: 4/24/2015 10:11:55 AM EDT
[#19]
Women are so ______________.
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Posted: 4/24/2015 10:12:29 AM EDT
[#20]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
"Hitler killed a ton of jews, but at least he had a job." Didn't calm the situation one bit. She did get a PT job and stopped complaining about me needing a 2nd one. For about 2 months. Then she quit. And started complaining again. My brothers ex-wife tried that, she didn't want to work, but wanted him to work 2 jobs. She wanted to sit at home all day and do nothing, because they didn't have kids. |
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Posted: 4/24/2015 10:13:41 AM EDT
[#21]
Yes, your sister is prettier than you.
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Posted: 4/24/2015 10:14:25 AM EDT
[#22]
a lot of suppressed anger about over weight wives here
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Posted: 4/24/2015 10:14:37 AM EDT
[#23]
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Posted: 4/24/2015 10:14:42 AM EDT
[#24]
Do you think your friend ______ would be down for a three way?
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Posted: 4/24/2015 10:16:25 AM EDT
[#25]
"This is the LAST one honey... I swear it!"
Oh wait... that's what I ALWAYS say...
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Posted: 4/24/2015 10:16:54 AM EDT
[#26]
"You're getting to be more like your mother every day."
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Posted: 4/24/2015 10:17:48 AM EDT
[#27]
My last girlfriend did it better...
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Posted: 4/24/2015 10:18:26 AM EDT
[#28]
Me: Let's go eat.
Her: Ok. Me: Where do you want to go? Her: I don't know, you decide. Me: Ok, how about Santa Caterina? Her: No, we just ate there last week. Me: Ok, sushi? Her: No, I'm not really in the mood for sushi. Me: Ok, Mangeri's then. Italian ok? Her: I feel so full after we eat there, I'm not really in the mood for that. Me: Wine Bar? Her: No, I want something heavier than appetizers. Me: Ok, uh, well, Flores? Her: I already said I don't want mexican. Me: No, you said you didn't want to eat at Santa Caterina. You didn't rule out all mexican. Her: Well, I don't really want mexican. Me: Chili's? Her: Come on, seriously? Me: You come on, you keep shooting down every idea. How about we just go to Sonic? Her: Ewuck. Fast food? I don't want fast food. Me: Ok, what do you want? Her: I don't know, you decide. Me: LISTEN. I DON'T WANT TO PLAY GUESS WHERE THE FUCK YOU WANT TO EAT ALL NIGHT. JUST TELL ME WHERE THE FUCK YOU WANT TO GO AND WE'LL GO THERE. FUCK. Her: ^%$& #)_& !!Y*&^)* *&&^$$ !!@%$* $&UIU%T!!!!!!! Me: (sleeping upstairs on the couch tonight) |
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Posted: 4/24/2015 10:18:48 AM EDT
[#29]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Do you think your friend ______ would be down for a three way? My wife's pretty cool. I say stuff like that often. She knows that I'm all GUY. Now... actually taking steps to make that happen would be another thing entirely...
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Posted: 4/24/2015 10:19:05 AM EDT
[#30]
About a year or after we got married wife asked me if she was hard to live with.
The words, "Yes, you can be a real c--- sometimes.", spilled out of my mouth before I could think. We were on a sailboat at anchor. While I was trying to decide whether jumping overboard and just taking the beating would be better she agreed with me. Then told me I could never say that to her again. She'd just shoot me if I were to do that now. I do not recommend doing it. |
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Posted: 4/24/2015 10:19:11 AM EDT
[#31]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
"Calm down." That is a big one. |
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Posted: 4/24/2015 10:19:30 AM EDT
[#32]
Are you ever going to do dishes/laundry/etc.
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Posted: 4/24/2015 10:20:11 AM EDT
[#33]
"How am I supposed to afford a mistress when you keep spending my money on useless crap"
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Posted: 4/24/2015 10:20:15 AM EDT
[#34]
you're acting JUST Like your mother.
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Posted: 4/24/2015 10:22:02 AM EDT
[#35]
No, i said you were 'acting crazy'. i didn't say you were crazy...
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Posted: 4/24/2015 10:23:52 AM EDT
[#36]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
"Hitler killed a ton of jews, but at least he had a job." Didn't calm the situation one bit. She did get a PT job and stopped complaining about me needing a 2nd one. For about 2 months. Then she quit. And started complaining again. Are you serious?? Dude fucking eject. |
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Posted: 4/24/2015 10:23:53 AM EDT
[#37]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Me: Let's go eat. Her: Ok. Me: Where do you want to go? Her: I don't know, you decide. Me: Ok, how about Santa Caterina? Her: No, we just ate there last week. Me: Ok, sushi? Her: No, I'm not really in the mood for sushi. Me: Ok, Mangeri's then. Italian ok? Her: I feel so full after we eat there, I'm not really in the mood for that. Me: Wine Bar? Her: No, I want something heavier than appetizers. Me: Ok, uh, well, Flores? Her: I already said I don't want mexican. Me: No, you said you didn't want to eat at Santa Caterina. You didn't rule out all mexican. Her: Well, I don't really want mexican. Me: Chili's? Her: Come on, seriously? Me: You come on, you keep shooting down every idea. How about we just go to Sonic? Her: Ewuck. Fast food? I don't want fast food. Me: Ok, what do you want? Her: I don't know, you decide. Me: LISTEN. I DON'T WANT TO PLAY GUESS WHERE THE FUCK YOU WANT TO EAT ALL NIGHT. JUST TELL ME WHERE THE FUCK YOU WANT TO GO AND WE'LL GO THERE. FUCK. Her: ^%$& #)_& !!Y*&^)* *&&^$$ !!@%$* $&UIU%T!!!!!!! Me: (sleeping upstairs on the couch tonight) No. Fuck that last part. If she wants to sleep alone, she's welcome to sleep wherever she wants, but I'm not going to the couch. F U C K that |
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Posted: 4/24/2015 10:23:58 AM EDT
[#38]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
About a year or after we got married wife asked me if she was hard to live with. The words, "Yes, you can be a real c--- sometimes.", spilled out of my mouth before I could think. We were on a sailboat at anchor. While I was trying to decide whether jumping overboard and just taking the beating would be better she agreed with me. Then told me I could never say that to her again. She'd just shoot me if I were to do that now. I do not recommend doing it. Yeah... that would be a no-no with most women. It's within limits during teh dirty talk around my house though. I especially like it when SHE uses it.
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Posted: 4/24/2015 10:24:19 AM EDT
[#39]
dupe thread from not even a week ago.
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Posted: 4/24/2015 10:27:36 AM EDT
[#40]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Me: Let's go eat. Her: Ok. Me: Where do you want to go? Her: I don't know, you decide. Me: Ok, how about Santa Caterina? Her: No, we just ate there last week. Me: Ok, sushi? Her: No, I'm not really in the mood for sushi. Me: Ok, Mangeri's then. Italian ok? Her: I feel so full after we eat there, I'm not really in the mood for that. Me: Wine Bar? Her: No, I want something heavier than appetizers. Me: Ok, uh, well, Flores? Her: I already said I don't want mexican. Me: No, you said you didn't want to eat at Santa Caterina. You didn't rule out all mexican. Her: Well, I don't really want mexican. Me: Chili's? Her: Come on, seriously? Me: You come on, you keep shooting down every idea. How about we just go to Sonic? Her: Ewuck. Fast food? I don't want fast food. Me: Ok, what do you want? Her: I don't know, you decide. Me: LISTEN. I DON'T WANT TO PLAY GUESS WHERE THE FUCK YOU WANT TO EAT ALL NIGHT. JUST TELL ME WHERE THE FUCK YOU WANT TO GO AND WE'LL GO THERE. FUCK. Her: ^%$& #)_& !!Y*&^)* *&&^$$ !!@%$* $&UIU%T!!!!!!! Me: (sleeping upstairs on the couch tonight) Me: OK, let's go eat. Her: Where? Me: You'll see. Let's go. Works better that way. |
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Posted: 4/24/2015 10:28:33 AM EDT
[#41]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
you're acting JUST Like your mother. "Damn Rita!" Rita is her sister and a complete bitch. On the other hand, she didn't speak to me for two days so she wasn't bitching at me. |
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Posted: 4/24/2015 10:32:16 AM EDT
[#42]
It's not me, it's you. Bitch
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Posted: 4/24/2015 10:34:10 AM EDT
[#43]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
a lot of suppressed anger about over weight wives here LoL, mine's under weight, I don't bitch too much about that. 
She could use a bit more ass meat though, lol. I actually tell her that, sometimes. I think she gets much more upset when she's in the shower and I turn the lights off. 
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Posted: 4/24/2015 10:35:27 AM EDT
[#44]
After having Mexican cuisine for lunch, requesting for your evening blowjob to be given from the back.
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Posted: 4/24/2015 10:41:24 AM EDT
[#45]
"So you keep talking about this diet you plan on starting. When is that going to happen?" --uttered when I knew she was getting some on the side. Things went downhill from there.
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Posted: 4/24/2015 10:44:53 AM EDT
[#46]
I texted my wife a picture of a jersey Mikes #9 yesterday.
Her:If you love me, you'll bring me one. Me:hahaa Her:seriously Me:if you want a sandwich from here it's going to depend on how good of a blow job you give me and then I'll think about giving you my leftovers. Needless to say, I'm enjoying my leftover Jersey Mikes #9 here in about 2 hours.
My wife sleeps on the couch. I paid for the bed so her ass will sleep on the couch. My wife's fat, we only fuck in the dark so I can imagine her being a tight bodied Victoria Secret model. |
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Posted: 4/24/2015 10:45:20 AM EDT
[#47]
My son blew it a couple of nights ago, it didn't help that my daughter chimed in:
Son: Mom, dad is a way better cook than you. Mom: Why would you say that? Son: Everything you cook tastes terrible! Daugter: yah it's gross. Mom: looking at me trying not to laugh me ass off, Did you tell them to say that? Me: I had nothing to do with this. Son: mom! Everything you cook tastes like cardboard! Even your grilled cheese is gross! Mom: F you guys, I am never cooking again! Both kids: Yah! Ouch! |
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Posted: 4/24/2015 10:48:05 AM EDT
[#48]
My wife is pretty laid back and I don't insult her or call her names so I don't really have anything that I don't or shouldn't say to her.
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Posted: 4/24/2015 10:52:06 AM EDT
[#49]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Yes, your sister is prettier than you. LOL
that's a good one. |
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Posted: 4/24/2015 10:52:52 AM EDT
[#50]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Me: Let's go eat. Her: Ok. Me: Where do you want to go? Her: I don't know, you decide. Me: Ok, how about Santa Caterina? Her: No, we just ate there last week. Me: Ok, sushi? Her: No, I'm not really in the mood for sushi. Me: Ok, Mangeri's then. Italian ok? Her: I feel so full after we eat there, I'm not really in the mood for that. Me: Wine Bar? Her: No, I want something heavier than appetizers. Me: Ok, uh, well, Flores? Her: I already said I don't want mexican. Me: No, you said you didn't want to eat at Santa Caterina. You didn't rule out all mexican. Her: Well, I don't really want mexican. Me: Chili's? Her: Come on, seriously? Me: You come on, you keep shooting down every idea. How about we just go to Sonic? Her: Ewuck. Fast food? I don't want fast food. Me: Ok, what do you want? Her: I don't know, you decide. Me: LISTEN. I DON'T WANT TO PLAY GUESS WHERE THE FUCK YOU WANT TO EAT ALL NIGHT. JUST TELL ME WHERE THE FUCK YOU WANT TO GO AND WE'LL GO THERE. FUCK. Her: ^%$& #)_& !!Y*&^)* *&&^$$ !!@%$* $&UIU%T!!!!!!! Me: (sleeping upstairs on the couch tonight)  This!!! |
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