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Posted: 10/23/2014 9:47:09 AM EDT
[#1]
Single mom's need to raise their fatherless children without the distraction of a relationship and the heart brake of another failed attempt at a family.
Raise you kids and then live your life. Same goes for single dad's. P.S. Getting some is not a relationship. Keep it out of the home though. PAGE 4 |
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Posted: 10/23/2014 10:06:41 AM EDT
[#2]
No, not at all.
At 24 you shouldn't have deal with that if you don't want to. |
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Posted: 10/23/2014 10:11:05 AM EDT
[#3]
Nope, not selfish.
You're 24. You're in it for a date, not a kid, and certainly not someone else's kid. Not fair to you or the kid, and if the wench can't see that then it's time to kick her to the curb. |
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Posted: 10/23/2014 10:12:33 AM EDT
[#4]
If you're not willing to deal with kids, being honest about that isn't selfishness. It's honesty.
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Posted: 10/23/2014 10:12:35 AM EDT
[#5]
No your not. If your not ready to be a father to someone elses kid. Don't mess with their head by being in that situation.
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Posted: 10/23/2014 10:13:52 AM EDT
[#6]
Shoplift the pootie. No need to marry them at all.
If you are starting out every first date with marriage in mind, you are severely damaged and should seek psychiatric care. |
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Posted: 10/23/2014 10:16:24 AM EDT
[#7]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Nope. Just like the Inky in another thread, Society thinks u ignore their mistakes in life. |
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Posted: 10/23/2014 10:16:59 AM EDT
[#8]
Quoted:
Recently I have encountered a couple of women who I had considered dating but I refused to do so because they had a child. I told them the reason for not wanting to date them was their kid and because of the kid we would have constant problems because she would never be able to put the same effort into our relationship. I as a 24 year old male do not want to deal with those problems or the task of raising a child that is not mine. Knowing how I felt I was not willing to even attempt a relationship because it would only end up hurting her and confusing the child. Am I a selfish asshole and should I make an effort to grow up? I don't think I should, I am awesome. If you were a selfish asshole you would string them along for the pie. Nothing wrong with being up front as long as you aren't cruel about it. |
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Posted: 10/23/2014 10:22:22 AM EDT
[#9]
I think you've made good choices.
Edit: I dated a girl with a kid when I was 20. I treated my ex very well, and went above and beyond to try and help with the kid. Then we broke up, and to this day the only thing I miss about our relationship is that little girl. I refuse to date anyone else with a kid for the simple fact that I don't want to get attached to a kid that's not mine and that can be taken away if things don't work out between me and the mother. I'm going to wait til I have my own. |
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Posted: 10/23/2014 10:23:28 AM EDT
[#10]
You chose wisely.
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Posted: 10/23/2014 6:42:06 PM EDT
[#11]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Only betas date single moms 
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Posted: 10/23/2014 6:44:19 PM EDT
[#12]
 |
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Posted: 10/23/2014 6:44:42 PM EDT
[#13]
Women reject men for all sorts of nonsense. Then they turn around and get mad at men for rejecting women for the very valid reason that they don't want to take on the responsibility of raising a child. Some logic. |
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Posted: 10/23/2014 6:47:16 PM EDT
[#14]
If you don't care about you who the hell will in this world?
You know what you can take and what you can't take in this world. You might change as time goes on, but right now if you can't deal with being a good stepdad don't do it. Saving the kid and the women a lot of trouble really and doing everyone a favor. |
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Posted: 10/23/2014 6:49:52 PM EDT
[#15]
At least you're up front about it...even if it is a lame mindset. Kids are the future...why leave them to grow up without male guidance solely for the fact that you weren't the sperm donor? |
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Posted: 10/23/2014 6:54:57 PM EDT
[#16]
It's your money, your time, and your dick. The great thing about America is that it's up to you what you do with them.
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Posted: 10/23/2014 7:15:08 PM EDT
[#17]
Started dating my wife in 2003. My soon-to-be stepson was five years old.
We got married in 2006. Best thing I ever did. But, I found the right woman. I knew we shared virtually all of our values and she was raising her kid right. Plus, I missed the diaper/snot/bedwetting years. A good deal all around. Now, he's all grown up. Wouldn't have missed a minute of it. |
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Posted: 10/23/2014 7:16:29 PM EDT
[#18]
Not selfish, just have your preference in a mate. Nothing wrong with that.
You may change as you age.
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Posted: 10/23/2014 7:17:14 PM EDT
[#19]
Quoted: Recently I have encountered a couple of women who I had considered dating but I refused to do so because they had a child. I told them the reason for not wanting to date them was their kid and because of the kid we would have constant problems because she would never be able to put the same effort into our relationship. I as a 24 year old male do not want to deal with those problems or the task of raising a child that is not mine. Knowing how I felt I was not willing to even attempt a relationship because it would only end up hurting her and confusing the child. Am I a selfish asshole and should I make an effort to grow up? I don't think I should, I am awesome. By the time you get to 42, things will be vastly different. Stick to your plan. BTW, you can "give them a chance" by that I mean, a few BJs. The younger ones are looking really hard for "help me pay my bills" guys at that age.
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Posted: 10/23/2014 7:18:58 PM EDT
[#20]
You did what I would have done.
Ain't no body got time fo dat |
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Posted: 10/23/2014 7:30:55 PM EDT
[#21]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
You know what they say. If you have to ask....... Damn skippy. But I'm the same way OP. I've been called worse then an asshole. |
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Posted: 10/23/2014 7:36:05 PM EDT
[#22]
I only support single moms...in the club.
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Posted: 10/23/2014 7:40:58 PM EDT
[#23]
Quoted:
Recently I have encountered a couple of women who I had considered dating but I refused to do so because they had a child. I told them the reason for not wanting to date them was their kid and because of the kid we would have constant problems because she would never be able to put the same effort into our relationship. I as a 24 year old male do not want to deal with those problems or the task of raising a child that is not mine. Knowing how I felt I was not willing to even attempt a relationship because it would only end up hurting her and confusing the child. Am I a selfish asshole and should I make an effort to grow up? I don't think I should, I am awesome. nope. 24 is too young to start playing someone else's saved game. start your own game. when you are ready. |
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Posted: 10/23/2014 7:42:14 PM EDT
[#24]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Yeah, you're an ass. Grow up. I wondered how long it would take for a single Mom to check in. |
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Posted: 10/23/2014 7:44:49 PM EDT
[#25]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Immature, but not an asshole. Not calling you out, I was not better at 24. immature to not want to raise someone else's kids ? well, I guess at almost 50, I'm also "immature". sounds to me like "mature" must be a lot like "sucker". |
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Posted: 10/23/2014 7:46:34 PM EDT
[#26]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Not a selfsih A O for not wanting to get involved with a situation that you do not want in on but perhaps you are an AO for telling them the reason. Single Moms have it tough enough without you laying a trip on them. yeah! lying is WAY more respectful.
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Posted: 10/23/2014 7:49:20 PM EDT
[#27]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Yes. But not for not dating women with fruit crotch. I've heard of "crotch fruit". "fruit crotch" sounds like some kind of horrible VD. . . "yeah dude, it looked like blackberry jam down there". |
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Posted: 10/23/2014 7:50:29 PM EDT
[#28]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Unless they happen to be widows, they made decisions in their lives that created the shitty situation they're in. This, they already have the bad decision fuck trophy, why would you want to date them anyway. Some men are desperate enough I guess, sounds like you aren't. How does that make you an ass. I'd say you were wise beyond your years and an honest motherfucker too for just letting them know up front. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Not a selfsih A O for not wanting to get involved with a situation that you do not want in on but perhaps you are an AO for telling them the reason. Single Moms have it tough enough without you laying a trip on them. This, they already have the bad decision fuck trophy, why would you want to date them anyway. Some men are desperate enough I guess, sounds like you aren't. How does that make you an ass. I'd say you were wise beyond your years and an honest motherfucker too for just letting them know up front. this. /high five to OP/ |
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Posted: 10/23/2014 7:54:05 PM EDT
[#29]
I need a picture to make a sane judgement call
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Posted: 10/23/2014 7:54:47 PM EDT
[#30]
When I was single, I wouldn't have dated a guy with kids. Not only are you dealing with children, but they are bound to their ex's because of the children. Not just until they are 18, but forever. Obviously, it won't be as bad when the children are adults, but still.
It just wasn't something I was interested in. I never had kids, even when I found Mt Right (whom I am still married too), as he didn't want kids either. People always say; look how you are with your animals, you would have been such a good mom. Ah, no. I love my nieces and nephews, and I can hand them back to their parents when they start screaming.  Here quick take it!!!! It's making weird noises. 
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Posted: 10/23/2014 7:59:03 PM EDT
[#31]
I'm glad GD agrees with me, I asked on Facebook and the single moms and white knights that I am "friends" with tried to give me a hard time.
They didn't even understand the point I was trying to make. |
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Posted: 10/23/2014 8:00:29 PM EDT
[#32]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Yes but, for different reasons than those cataloged in your post. This is generally the right answer for everyone who asks these kinds of questions. Though when I was in my 20's I wouldn't date a chick with kids either. |
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Posted: 10/23/2014 8:06:47 PM EDT
[#33]
No
Be young |
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Posted: 10/23/2014 8:07:33 PM EDT
[#34]
you are too young to date chicks with kids. move on to the next one.
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Posted: 10/23/2014 8:11:15 PM EDT
[#35]
E J E C T. who needs that shit, drama. The kid will not ever look at you like a father. Run fast my friend. No, you're not an A...-hole.
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Posted: 10/23/2014 8:15:27 PM EDT
[#36]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I'm glad GD agrees with me, I asked on Facebook and the single moms and white knights that I am "friends" with tried to give me a hard time. They didn't even understand the point I was trying to make. There's no one way to live your life. I'm a huge proponent of marriage and raising kids, but it's not for everyone and I'm the first to admit it. Also, until you're ready for kids and have the life experience and maturity to handle someone else's kids, you shouldn't take that shit on for a litany of reasons....but for the most important reason which is the one you articulated - you don't want to. You're young enough to live how you want, and if you change your mind at some point, the world will have plenty of single moms to pick from. I'd much rather men took an honest stance than talk themselves into dating moms with NO intentions or want of raising those kids, giving the kids and mom a false hope and just making a bigger mess of that potential family. Ask your single mom friends if you should fake it and then dump them.
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Posted: 10/23/2014 8:17:07 PM EDT
[#37]
no
and you are way over thinking this. You should have stopped thinking about it at the word no. |
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Posted: 10/23/2014 8:18:06 PM EDT
[#38]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Nope. |
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Posted: 10/23/2014 8:18:15 PM EDT
[#39]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I'm glad GD agrees with me, I asked on Facebook and the single moms and white knights that I am "friends" with tried to give me a hard time. They didn't even understand the point I was trying to make. "m' lady" chumps or the guys who bust a nut during a lap dance.
You got it figured it. |
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Posted: 10/23/2014 8:19:21 PM EDT
[#40]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Yeah, you're an ass. Grow up. Sounds like he is grown up. Not everyone likes or wants kids. Especially someone else's kids. |
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Posted: 10/23/2014 8:23:24 PM EDT
[#41]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Raise YOUR child--not someone else's, as you will always have to deal with the shithead who isn't raising his own crotchfruit. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: Not in the wrong but it's going to bite you in ass eventually.I'm in my early 30's. You know how many women in my age range don't have kids? Not many. See when I am older I do not think it will bother me as much. I will be at a much more stable place in life by then and I think I will be able to take on the responsibility of raising a child Raise YOUR child--not someone else's, as you will always have to deal with the shithead who isn't raising his own crotchfruit. And don't bother asking me how I know. |
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Posted: 10/23/2014 8:25:49 PM EDT
[#42]
The fact that she got angry at you for telling her the truth and not coming into that kid's lifeknowing you would be leaving, tells you everything you need to know about her and what she is like as a mom and a person.
Run Forest arun |
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Posted: 10/23/2014 8:26:51 PM EDT
[#43]
It's your life live how you want to live it.
Me, I married a woman with two. Natural father is a prick, no contact with them, good for me. I have two great kids that I love as my very own. I would trade this for single again. |
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Posted: 10/23/2014 8:32:51 PM EDT
[#44]
You are selfish asshole............................................ about commas.
Use them man! |
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Posted: 10/23/2014 8:36:35 PM EDT
[#45]
Things could always work out but no, I wouldn't consider that wife material.
She needs to raise her kid, not a daddy-de-jour. If she wants to date, fine. Just keep the kid out of it until such time as marriage is considered. And then get ready for: YOU ARE NOT MY REAL DAD! 
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Posted: 10/23/2014 8:37:06 PM EDT
[#46]
Quoted:
Recently I have encountered a couple of women who I had considered dating but I refused to do so because they had a child. I told them the reason for not wanting to date them was their kid and because of the kid we would have constant problems because she would never be able to put the same effort into our relationship. I as a 24 year old male do not want to deal with those problems or the task of raising a child that is not mine. Knowing how I felt I was not willing to even attempt a relationship because it would only end up hurting her and confusing the child. Am I a selfish asshole and should I make an effort to grow up? I don't think I should, I am awesome. |
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Posted: 10/23/2014 8:38:23 PM EDT
[#47]
I would say that you have your head on straight OP.. There is no reason that you cannot find a girl your age or a few years younger and start a family with her if she is the one.
Don't let women like that get you down.. they just made poor choices and are trying to drag you to their level. |
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Posted: 10/23/2014 8:43:53 PM EDT
[#48]
Quote HistoryQuoted: In view of your belief that you're entitled to a woman who can devote her entire life to you, I think you did both of these women and their children a favor. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Recently I have encountered a couple of women who I had considered dating but I refused to do so because they had a child. I told them the reason for not wanting to date them was their kid and because of the kid we would have constant problems because she would never be able to put the same effort into our relationship. I as a 24 year old male do not want to deal with those problems or the task of raising a child that is not mine. Knowing how I felt I was not willing to even attempt a relationship because it would only end up hurting her and confusing the child. Am I a selfish asshole and should I make an effort to grow up? I don't think I should, I am awesome. Jane, did we read the same post? I didn't see where he expected total devotion to his wants/desires... I just saw a post from a man that is 24 and wants to avoid drama... and single moms generally equal drama.. whether it be the kids themselves, or baby daddy's stupid shit, etc. |
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Posted: 10/23/2014 8:45:20 PM EDT
[#49]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I'm glad GD agrees with me, I asked on Facebook and the single moms and white knights that I am "friends" with tried to give me a hard time. They didn't even understand the point I was trying to make. I'd take the spare car to work for a while. 
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Posted: 10/23/2014 8:46:14 PM EDT
[#50]
OP, your not an a-hole. Im 33 and when i was your age i tried sating a single mom (2 infact) both times it was more of a waste. 1st girl was cool as hell and we really got alone, which is why i tried alittle harder but in the end, it just wasnt going to wor out. the 2nd 1 i saw the writting on the wall and ejected early. your young, no need to deal with someone elses kid.
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