User Panel
Posted: 9/18/2014 10:59:51 AM EDT
Last night I ripped one that nearly ripped me. I instinctively reached behind me with my right hand to catch whatever shreds were left of my poor asshole in the hopes that a good plastic surgeon might be able to reattach and sculpt them into some semblance of normal anatomy so that I could live a somewhat normal life.
I'm kind of a gassy guy, but new heights (or lows) were achieved with this. I wonder if I should put my talents to use? I'm thinking of buying some paints. Imagine a canvas blasted with bright colors all through the natural propulsion of violently, expelled gas - the existential struggle of the human condition summed up in a Jackson Pollock-esque cacaphony of color. I think they would love it in Austin. I'll call it: (f)art. |
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If I eat a late dinner of enchiladas, the internal gas pressure will slowly build while I am asleep. I have ripped ones the morning after such a meal that literally rattled the windows in the bedroom.
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No, but I did take a dump so big that when it exited my back cracked.
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Sweet potatoes and pinto beans.. I have been standing in my yard and let lose several times. and Then I'll hear my neighbors bust out laughing. They live 750 feet away.
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Quoted:
Last night I ripped one that nearly ripped me. I instinctively reached behind me with my right hand to catch whatever shreds were left of my poor asshole in the hopes that a good plastic surgeon might be able to reattach and sculpt them into some semblance of normal anatomy so that I could live a somewhat normal life. I'm kind of a gassy guy, but new heights (or lows) were achieved with this. I wonder if I should put my talents to use? I'm thinking of buying some paints. Imagine a canvas blasted with bright colors all through the natural propulsion of violently, expelled gas - the existential struggle of the human condition summed up in a Jackson Pollock-esque cacaphony of color. I think they would love it in Austin. I'll call it: (f)art. View Quote That's a National Endowment fot the Arts grant-worthy idea you have there! |
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No but I have farted so hard in my sleep that it woke me up. Not the smell just the extreme pressure.
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Fighting cancer one color at a time.
You can start the Susan G Blowass foundation. |
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I've never hurt myself but I did pop the lower portion of my back with a good fart once.
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OP - think I came across your videos on Liveleak.
Ifartinyoface...I presume? |
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OP, are you really going to give yourself a fingerpaint enema?
Because that would be really artistic. Artsy-fartsy, even. |
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I have cut some that I am sure hurt other people, but never myself.
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I prefer to go to the store and crop dust the shit outta people.
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The longer I live the more I realize some people have strange bizarre stomach/intestinal type issues, I guess my insides were all made out of titanium braid.
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Quoted:
Last night I ripped one that nearly ripped me. I instinctively reached behind me with my right hand to catch whatever shreds were left of my poor asshole in the hopes that a good plastic surgeon might be able to reattach and sculpt them into some semblance of normal anatomy so that I could live a somewhat normal life. I'm kind of a gassy guy, but new heights (or lows) were achieved with this. I wonder if I should put my talents to use? I'm thinking of buying some paints. Imagine a canvas blasted with bright colors all through the natural propulsion of violently, expelled gas - the existential struggle of the human condition summed up in a Jackson Pollock-esque cacaphony of color. I think they would love it in Austin. I'll call it: (f)art. View Quote Yer a funny guy, FP. |
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yas,many times,
sneeze\cough farts are brutal. as i get older it just keeps getting worse. in my condition i have to fart alot. about every other one makes me dizzy. clown |
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No, but I have been sneezing so hard lately that I'm popping my back.
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I can honestly say I have made 2 people vomit on a fart that I produced.
Witness can be provided as well. |
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Once farted so bad in my sleep that my wife woke me up to suffer through it with her. She told me she was scared to move the covers and release it AND scared it would rot her skin off if she didn't.
Also farted once during oral...never do that. |
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Those early morning farts are the best. Your body is relaxed then they just come tearing out of you.
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