My son is getting married...give him good advice

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Posted: 5/27/2015 12:43:52 PM EDT

Gents,

My son is getting married this Friday, to a wonderful Texas cowgirl. I've always tried to impart to him what little wisdom I've picked up during my time on this earth, but two thousand brains are better than one.

Post up valuable advice that has been given to you, and wisdom that you've acquired over the years. Anything provident for a healthy marriage, helpful for employment, less-stressful living, etc. I'll print it out and give it to him after the ceremony.

If any of you are praying folks, prayers for a long and happy marriage greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance, folks.

ETA a picture of this fine lad.

Posted: 5/27/2015 12:45:02 PM EDT

[#1]

Never go to bed angry.

and dont take marriage advice from GD.

Posted: 5/27/2015 12:45:16 PM EDT

[#2]

In before the don't and get a prenup crowd

Posted: 5/27/2015 12:47:03 PM EDT

[#3]

Most couples argue over money. Don't let that happen.

Posted: 5/27/2015 12:47:31 PM EDT

[#4]

In before the guys who haven't been married.

Woops.

Posted: 5/27/2015 12:48:02 PM EDT

[#5]

The woman is always right

Posted: 5/27/2015 12:48:12 PM EDT

[#6]

Make a regular date night. Keeps you connected despite work, life, financial, etc stresses.

Posted: 5/27/2015 12:48:49 PM EDT

[#7]

I'm kind of a failure at Marriage so I'll just say don't end up like me.

Posted: 5/27/2015 12:49:08 PM EDT

[#8]

Wish him luck and advise him to read 20 pages and counting of GD knowledge on marriage?

http://www.ar15.com/forums/t_1_5/1751696_Why_men_won_t_marry_you.html

Posted: 5/27/2015 12:50:00 PM EDT

[#9]

Want good advice?
DO NOT ask for marriage advice in GD

Posted: 5/27/2015 12:50:27 PM EDT

[#10]

Does she have horses?

If yes, eject now.

Posted: 5/27/2015 12:50:27 PM EDT

[#11]

Get time alone. Go on vacations, even if it's just the next town over.

Don't forget anniversary dates and make it a tradition.

Have your own time for your own hobbies, give her room to enjoy her own time too.

Be open. Always talk.

Since he's going to be reading this after his vows.... She now owns half of your shit and has you on the hook for potentially 25 years. Treat her good or she's going to take you to the ringer.

Posted: 5/27/2015 12:50:31 PM EDT

[#12]

Stay single!!!

Posted: 5/27/2015 12:51:01 PM EDT

[#13]

Allow nothing, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, to come between you and your wife.

This includes:

- Money
- Religion
- Her family
- Your family
- Career aspirations
- Children
- Politics
- Friends
- Work

If you haven't settled the items above BEFORE you get married, then one of two options are present:

1) You are not ready to be married.
2) You have chosen the wrong person to marry.

Posted: 5/27/2015 12:51:18 PM EDT

[#14]

Know the difference between 'want' and 'need' and don't borrow to buy a 'want'.

Posted: 5/27/2015 12:51:59 PM EDT

[#15]

Too late.

You either already know what it takes to have a successful relationship, or you'll only learn through failure, or you'll never learn.

Pre-nuptial advice is worthless and sentimental. Which, that's fine. Enjoy it and be happy.

But nothing I can say will help you magically have a successful marriage if you aren't already inclined to.

That said, all you need is love. Other shit helps. But all you really need is love.

Posted: 5/27/2015 12:52:04 PM EDT

[#16]

"Please", "thank you", "I'm sorry", and "I forgive you."

Marriage isn't about you, or her, it's about the family. There is no him or her anymore, just "us".

Never argue, disagree, or anything like that in front of friends or family. ESPECIALLY family. My wife could claim that the sky is purple in front of my family and it will be fucking purple until we get in the car on the way home. Then you can fight about it.
And you don't talk badly about your spouse behind their back either to those people.

Quote History

Quoted:
Most couples argue over money. Don't let that happen.

View Quote

Budget, budget, budget. Have meetings about the budget. Schedule them.

ETA: 90% of single men and single women are the enemy of your relationship. Purge them from your lives.

Posted: 5/27/2015 12:52:07 PM EDT

[#17]

Quote History

Quoted:
Know the difference between 'want' and 'need' and don't borrow to buy a 'want'.

View Quote

Ignore this guy. Fuck it, if you want it, get it.

Posted: 5/27/2015 12:52:17 PM EDT

[#18]

Quote History

Quoted:
Never go to bed angry.

and dont take marriage advice from GD.

View Quote

Yep, let it go before your head hits the pillow. I wish someo,e would have given me this advice, had to figure that one out on my own. And as far of the biblical side, both of them have to "let go" of you parents in order to fully give themselves to each other. From my experience this has been harder for the women, but as parents, dont pressure them on holidays etc. Its hard sometimes to make everyone happy and they are building a family. Dont take it personally if they want to have their first christmas together in their home etc... you may not wanna see what they have planned lol. Also, bible says to let go of old flames and not to put yourself in a position to be unfaithful. All stuff nobody wants to say about marriage that i wish someone would hve said to me and my wife. Money and jealousy have killed more of my friends marriages than i care to think about. Other than that, tell them to ejoy each other and have fun

Posted: 5/27/2015 12:53:35 PM EDT

[#19]

A wise Arfcommer once told me:

A good wife is the secret to a good life.

A good wife and good bourbon is the recipe for a great life.

Good wife decision tree:

1. Is she your best friend?

If "Yes", proceed.

If "No", you've been warned.

2. Does she try to control your actions, appearance, thoughts, friends, purchases, and daily life?

If "Yes", you've been warned.

If "No", proceed.

3. Are you still in love with her if she were wearing a sweatsuit 3 sizes too large?

If "Yes", proceed.

If "No", you are not ready to get married.

Posted: 5/27/2015 12:54:43 PM EDT

[#20]

hanky panky every day

women are capable of multiple orgasms, make it your life effort to find out just how many you can cause in one night .... every night

<---married 13 years

Posted: 5/27/2015 12:55:12 PM EDT

[#21]

Quote History

Quoted:
Stay single!!!

View Quote

At least until the OP's kid is 25 or 30.

Ideally he should wake up with an epiphany and call the whole thing off.

Posted: 5/27/2015 12:55:19 PM EDT

[#22]

I have been married for a little over a year and can offer the following advice:

1. When you are angry at each other, be the first one to cut the other a break, it smooths problems over a lot faster than letting it drag on.

2. Make sure you two are on the same page money-wise, money issues are the biggest problem failing marriages face.

3. Tell your wife you love her every day, she notices that believe it or not.

4. Do not pay attention to the anti-marriage D-bags in GD, this is arfcom and is filled to the brim with bitter confirmed bachelors who blew it with marriage already.

Good luck and enjoy marriage, if you do it right you won't regret it.

Posted: 5/27/2015 12:56:06 PM EDT

[#23]

Talk to your wife longer than feels comfortable to you. And more often than feels comfortable to you. And about more things than feels comfortable to you.

Then it will be about right for her.

Posted: 5/27/2015 12:56:44 PM EDT

[#24]

Don't argue with your wife "dick her"

Posted: 5/27/2015 12:56:52 PM EDT

[#25]

Have fun with sex, it should always be fun and never an obligation.

Posted: 5/27/2015 12:56:58 PM EDT

[#26]

Awesome, keep it coming guys. Many thanks.

Posted: 5/27/2015 12:57:11 PM EDT

[#27]

Communicate to the point of fault.

Posted: 5/27/2015 12:57:16 PM EDT

[#28]

1) Sex is 95% of the problem in a bad relationship and 5% in a good one.

2) You don't have to do everything together, every time.

3) "Yes, dear"

4) "You were right, I was wrong"

-p.

Posted: 5/27/2015 12:58:15 PM EDT

[#29]

Quote History

Quoted:
A wise Arfcommer once told me:

A good wife is the secret to a good life.

A good wife and good bourbon is the recipe for a great life.

Good wife decision tree:

1. Is she your best friend?

If "Yes", proceed.
If "No", you've been warned.

2. Does she try to control your actions, appearance, thoughts, friends, purchases, and daily life?

If "Yes", you've been warned.
If "No", proceed.

3. Are you still in love with her if she were wearing a sweatsuit 3 sizes too large?

If "Yes", proceed.
If "No", you are not ready to get married.

View Quote

warning signs are always good indicators of things to come

often, when in lust love, we see things differently.

be honest with yourself, it will save you a lot of problems later on.

if you don't have a solid relationship as friends and don't communicate, don't do it.

good luck, many blessings for a positive future.

Posted: 5/27/2015 12:58:51 PM EDT

[#30]

Quote History

Quoted:
The woman is always right

View Quote

Wrong

Be a man, a man worth following.

Also, at the end of the day, no matter how beautiful or tempting...no pu$$y is worth wrecking your marriage over.

Posted: 5/27/2015 12:58:53 PM EDT

[#31]

Quote History

Quoted:
Awesome, keep it coming guys. Many thanks.

View Quote

You posted a picture of the wrong party in these nuptials

Posted: 5/27/2015 12:59:56 PM EDT

[#32]

Don't sweat the small stuff. Learn to keep your ego in check and not hold a grudge, fly off the handle over something stupid, or be afraid to say you were wrong even when you weren't.

Posted: 5/27/2015 1:00:59 PM EDT

[#33]

Unless she's pregnant, don't.

Posted: 5/27/2015 1:01:07 PM EDT

[#34]

Quote History

Quoted:
At least until the OP's kid is 25 or 30.

Ideally he should wake up with an epiphany and call the whole thing off.

View Quote View All Quotes

View All Quotes

Quote History

Quoted:

Quoted:

Stay single!!!

At least until the OP's kid is 25 or 30.

Ideally he should wake up with an epiphany and call the whole thing off.

Women hit their mid-life crisis age around 30. If she's not that age yet, that will be the

age she divorces him. Make sure he's got his shit together to be prepared for the hammer to fall.

Posted: 5/27/2015 1:02:20 PM EDT

[#35]

Pre-Nup

Posted: 5/27/2015 1:02:22 PM EDT

[#36]

My advice.
Have fun.
Love her.
Enjoy life.
Don't sweat the small shit

Posted: 5/27/2015 1:03:16 PM EDT

[#37]

Quote History

Quoted:

Wrong

Be a man, a man worth following.

Also, at the end of the day, no matter how beautiful or tempting...no pu$$y is worth wrecking your marriage over.

View Quote View All Quotes

View All Quotes

Quote History

Quoted:

Quoted:
The woman is always right

Wrong

Be a man, a man worth following.

Also, at the end of the day, no matter how beautiful or tempting...no pu$$y is worth wrecking your marriage over.

Yep, be the leader of your household... you and your wife can be wrong, but when she is, you can tell her without belittling her. And sex... lots of sex. Keep her so well banged that the thought of an affair literally seems exhausting and painful lol. Works well for both sides

Posted: 5/27/2015 1:03:48 PM EDT

[#38]

In for GD advice.

Posted: 5/27/2015 1:03:51 PM EDT

[#39]

Develop a high tolerance to BS and mind how you respond to it.

Ex:

My GF came into a friend's 2nd floor apartment where we were filling a 55 gallon fish tank and then started yelling and calling us "fucking idiots" because the tank was too heavy and would come through the floor.

A proper response would have been to calmly explain how a tank of this size would carry the same psf as a fully stocked refrigerator and we were completely safe.

Having an blunt/abrasive personality that doesn't take kindly to being yelled at, I attempted to explain this, but I prefaced it by saying "You dumb cunt"

OP, tell your son to be a wise man and learn from others' mistakes and not his own.

Posted: 5/27/2015 1:03:52 PM EDT

[#40]

Eat at the dinner table.

Posted: 5/27/2015 1:04:30 PM EDT

[#41]

Quote History

Quoted:
Eat at the dinner table.

View Quote

I like this one. I like this one a lot. Even more important when kids come along.

Posted: 5/27/2015 1:04:56 PM EDT

[#42]

Even though I have never been in a 12 step program, the Serenity Prayer is a really, REALLY good mantra to live by.

God grant me the
Serenity to accept the things I cannot change the
Courage to change the things I can and the
Wisdom to know the difference

It works for me.

Posted: 5/27/2015 1:05:43 PM EDT

[#43]

I would say to avoid ever arguing about money have one joint account for bills and essentials and two separate accounts for fun money.

also learn how to breath through your ears.

Posted: 5/27/2015 1:07:06 PM EDT

[#44]

I used to be super jealous. Don't be. Trust your wife, and laugh off the pathetic advances of other men TOGETHER. If you CAN'T trust your wife in those situations, don't marry her.

That said, my wife appreciates a little feigned jealousy every once in awhile. She knows I'm not seriously concerned about the situation because I trust her, but it reminds her that I still want her all to myself.

Posted: 5/27/2015 1:07:50 PM EDT

[#45]

Quote History

Quoted:
Never go to bed angry.

advice from GD.

View Quote

Angry Sex can be good!

Posted: 5/27/2015 1:08:21 PM EDT

[#46]

Like others have said, make sure that you are prepared to still love your wife under the following circumstances:

-She gains 50 lbs
-She changes her hairstyle to something hideous that you think looks ugly
-She stops taking care of her body like she did when you were dating
-She stops closing the bathroom door while taking a dump
-She starts to look, sound, and act like her mother
-She stops taking care of basic household chores like doing dishes laundry, etc. because she is too tired and you can help too
-When she asks you if you think she is pretty and if you still love her, etc.

The list goes on, so just remember your vow is to love her for better And for worse

Posted: 5/27/2015 1:10:30 PM EDT

[#47]

Remember that marriage does not end the chase.

Men see things in terms of goals and achieving those goals then moving on to the next one. It's for many like "Okay, got the hot wife now time to move on to getting that promotion at work." However, a wife is not a trophy you can just put on a shelf and dust off from time to time. What I'm trying to say is that marriage takes constant work. Set aside at least one night a week for your wife without friends or kids and treat her like a queen at least one night a week. My wife and I call it "date night."

Posted: 5/27/2015 1:11:08 PM EDT

[#48]

Don't let her eat the cake. Women change once they do.

Posted: 5/27/2015 1:12:50 PM EDT

[#49]

Quote History

Quoted:
Allow nothing, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, to come between you and your wife.

This includes:

- Money
- Religion
- Her family
- Your family
- Career aspirations
- Children
- Politics
- Friends
- Work

If you haven't settled the items above BEFORE you get married, then one of two options are present:

1) You are not ready to be married.
2) You have chosen the wrong person to marry.

View Quote

It's you and your wife vs the world.

I will relate a story from a cousin of mine. His daughter, 13 or 14 at the time, made some smart assed remark to her mother. He looked at his daughter and told her to NEVER talk to his wife that way again. Not "your Mother" but "my wife."

A happy life is a happy wife.