Just as you're about to stick it in, she says... - Page 3

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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Just as you're about to stick it in, she says... (Page 3 of 6)

Posted: 12/31/2011 1:12:57 PM EDT

[#1]

Please stick it in my ass.

Posted: 12/31/2011 1:23:26 PM EDT

[#2]

Get started......I'll catch up! I guess my nurse is not as crazy as the others.

.

Posted: 12/31/2011 1:31:19 PM EDT

[#3]

Tag

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile

Posted: 12/31/2011 1:39:27 PM EDT

[#4]

Quoted:

Quoted:
Please, only the really weird shit that is said JUST as you're about to get it on.

The REAL stuff...even though this is GD, there should be some good one-liners here that are legit.

oh, you're serious about this, eh?

i had a girl complain about how her jaw can become easily disjointed before i slammed it in her mouth.

she didn't talk right for a few days afterwards.

then there was Shiela.... oh Shiela...

she told me she could only come if i bit her nipples really hard.

YES....honest, weird shit that women say just a hair before they get stuffed.

Posted: 12/31/2011 1:42:44 PM EDT

[#5]

Quoted:
Don't wake my kidS up

Make it quick, my husband will be home soon

I might be dry, I just had sex a couple hours ago

I love you

I'm tempted to say "You win!", but it's still early, and there are probably more people from Arkansas that have yet to post.

Posted: 12/31/2011 1:42:59 PM EDT

[#6]

can you loosen the cuffs a bit?

ok..serious side....was with a smoking hot little brunette....on top of her...my hand was holding the headboard of this water bed we were on. Lost my grip and feel head first into the headboard hitting me in the forehead hard. Blurted out "fucking bitch" (as to how much it hurt)...she immediately starting going "OOH YES....YES...fuck me harder"....... she was totally into being called names, etc while fucking. wild fuck.

Posted: 12/31/2011 1:44:04 PM EDT

[#7]

Awesome thread.

What irritated me with one chick in college, was to be banging her ass off, as absolutely hard as I possibly could and she kept screaming, "Harder! Faster! Harder, faster, harder!"

After awhile, sweat literally pooling in my eyes as I hammered away as I hard as I could, I said, "%&*@, I'm doing every f%$#!ng thing I can here!"

Posted: 12/31/2011 1:48:35 PM EDT

[#8]

Quoted:
One gal right after says "I'm off my birth control" just as sweet as you please in my ear... Slim athletic Blonde

Another called out "OH MY GOD!!! MAKE ME PREGNANT" during the deed and pretty close to the finish line... Built for sin Redhead

Oh shit, this reminds me...I once dated a girl...who is now actually somewhat well-known as an author.

Doing her doggy, she would scream-out, "Make a baby! Make a baby! Make a baby!".

We never talked about it.

Quoted:
but late to be thread of the year but this thread has some serious potential.

LOL...it was 2012 in Singapore a long time ago.

Posted: 12/31/2011 1:52:00 PM EDT

[#9]

Quoted:
Awesome thread.

What irritated me with one chick in college, was to be banging her ass off, as absolutely hard as I possibly could and she kept screaming, "Harder! Faster! Harder, faster, harder!"

After awhile, sweat literally pooling in my eyes as I hammered away as I hard as I could, I said, "%&*@, I'm doing every f%$#!ng thing I can here!"

Yup. I met one of those. Any harder and I'd have been pissing blood for a week. I already had her standing on her head against the wall. Harder she said. Oh sure.

Posted: 12/31/2011 1:52:36 PM EDT

[#10]

I had a girl that wanted it harder.

She ended up needing stitches.

Posted: 12/31/2011 1:53:39 PM EDT

[#11]

And one from the other side. After being subjected to a couple minutes of energetic poking around to no purpose and less effect: "This would go a lot better if you'd put that thing where there's already a hole."

Jane

Posted: 12/31/2011 1:57:16 PM EDT

[#12]

Quoted:
I had a chick warn me "I get a little wet down there when I come." A "little" was a understatement. Holy hell !!!!!! It was like Old Faithful going off!

On another note, there was one chick that I wished would have give me a warning. Apparently, she would go into convultions and pass out when she got off. Having her broke over and loading her like a shotgun, she got off and went into convultions and passed smooth the fuck out. Her body went limp and hit the bed twitching. I was pretty young and inexperienced and didn't know what the hell just happened. I thought I done killed the bitch!!! I was freaking the fuck out wondering how the hell I'm gonna explain this to the cops, when she come to. I ask "what the fuck just happened?" She said "I should have warned you, I pass out when I get off."

The real question here is... Did you finish while she was out?

Posted: 12/31/2011 1:59:38 PM EDT

[#13]

Quoted:
And one from the other side. After being subjected to a couple minutes of energetic poking around to no purpose and less effect: "This would go a lot better if you'd put that thing where there's already a hole."

Jane

Posted: 12/31/2011 1:59:59 PM EDT

[#14]

Quoted:
And one from the other side. After being subjected to a couple minutes of energetic poking around to no purpose and less effect: "This would go a lot better if you'd put that thing where there's already a hole."

Jane

Thank you for the input!

Seriously, the women could probably OWN this thread if they wanted.

Posted: 12/31/2011 2:03:54 PM EDT

[#15]

Quoted:
And one from the other side. After being subjected to a couple minutes of energetic poking around to no purpose and less effect: "This would go a lot better if you'd put that thing where there's already a hole."

Jane

You're an Eager Aimer. Right about the time you start the docking process you feel hands where they don't belong. There's a few tugs along the way too. Yes, we know you. :)

Posted: 12/31/2011 2:07:31 PM EDT

[#16]

I only date mutes. Cuts down on the comments.

Posted: 12/31/2011 2:19:27 PM EDT

[#17]

Quoted:

Quoted:
And one from the other side. After being subjected to a couple minutes of energetic poking around to no purpose and less effect: "This would go a lot better if you'd put that thing where there's already a hole."

You're an Eager Aimer. Right about the time you start the docking process you feel hands where they don't belong. There's a few tugs along the way too. Yes, we know you. :)

No, not at all. Just offered a little well intentioned advice in a case of "all velocity and no vector".

Jane

Posted: 12/31/2011 2:20:51 PM EDT

[#18]

Quoted:

And one from the other side. After being subjected to a couple minutes of energetic poking around to no purpose and less effect: "This would go a lot better if you'd put that thing where there's already a hole."

Jane

PlaneJane comments in threads on sex always get me laughing. Thanks

Posted: 12/31/2011 2:23:15 PM EDT

[#19]

You're gonna be a great Dad, I just know it.

Posted: 12/31/2011 2:29:04 PM EDT

[#20]

My two favorites:

"Are you OK with this?" from a girl who was about to become a FWB.
"If you keep goin that way, it's gonna get all dirty" from the Playboy Cyber-Bunny.

Posted: 12/31/2011 2:37:17 PM EDT

[#21]

"Im 17 " Rolled off and walked 3 miles back to my truck

"Make me bleed" Turned me on and I think I did

" I have a cotton stalk up my ass" picked her up and put her back on the sleeping bag

"you better make this quick , this gas pump is pinching my boobs " Tried to make it quick but a boat pulled up and we had to abort .

" from this angle you look just like my boyfriend " Thought WTF and hit it .

Posted: 12/31/2011 2:40:00 PM EDT

[#22]

"mmmrmrrrphhhhmm! mmmrrppphrhpppphhhh!"

Posted: 12/31/2011 2:43:11 PM EDT

[#23]

"Ow stop"

That's the only one I care to repeat.

Posted: 12/31/2011 2:44:30 PM EDT

[#24]

Be gentle, this is my first time

Posted: 12/31/2011 2:45:07 PM EDT

[#25]

Quoted:
"mmmrmrrrphhhhmm! mmmrrppphrhpppphhhh!"

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-8efVddcXomE/TgPQ6HfkT0I/AAAAAAAAABo/o9OJGQPFlts/s1600/gagged.jpg

I think she is saying that yes she wants it.

Posted: 12/31/2011 2:48:56 PM EDT

[#26]

Quoted:

Quoted:

The graphic arts chick with her, "I have a rosebud anus, from the episiotomy when I had my daughter." I never would have known, but after she mentioned it,

Yeah, don't google that and click images if you're not sure what it is. You don't want to know what it is and why it is common with faggots.

Hmm...explains the Rosebud Salve I saw in a store once

Posted: 12/31/2011 2:49:08 PM EDT

[#27]

"You have to fuck my friend Melissa".

This was said after 2 seconds of starting.

Posted: 12/31/2011 2:50:41 PM EDT

[#28]

Before you do let me remove my tampon .

Posted: 12/31/2011 2:57:00 PM EDT

[#29]

if it fits, then it's the right hole

Posted: 12/31/2011 2:57:40 PM EDT

[#30]

Quoted:
Don't wake my kidS up

Make it quick, my husband will be home soon

I might be dry, I just had sex a couple hours ago

I love you

Heard that one once. Surprised the hell out of me, was at the point of no return, so...........

Posted: 12/31/2011 2:58:56 PM EDT

[#31]

"Fuck me like you did my sister"

Posted: 12/31/2011 2:59:41 PM EDT

[#32]

Noobs and amateurs.
If they can still form coherent sentences then your foreplay is weak.
Should be flushed face and glazed over eyes and facial muscles very slack if you've done your job right.

Posted: 12/31/2011 3:10:38 PM EDT

[#33]

Hold on a minute I have to fart.

Posted: 12/31/2011 3:17:03 PM EDT

[#34]

Quoted:
Noobs and amateurs.
If they can still form coherent sentences then your foreplay is weak.
Should be flushed face and glazed over eyes and facial muscles very slack if you've done your job right.

Foreplay?

I don't have time for that stuff....

Posted: 12/31/2011 3:30:01 PM EDT

[#35]

"let me get it wet for ya"

Then she farted.....

Posted: 12/31/2011 3:46:23 PM EDT

[#36]

My last GF who later went into porn said and did some crazy stuff.

Forced Sex/rape fantasies/forced anal, slapping/close fisted hitting, macrame, throat/face fucking, choking her til she passed out (rear naked choke type of stuff), wanted me to cut her, etc.

Posted: 12/31/2011 4:25:16 PM EDT

[#37]

Quoted:

"Im 17 " Rolled off and walked 3 miles back to my truck

Posted: 12/31/2011 4:27:34 PM EDT

[#38]

Do you mind if I nurse my baby while you do this?

Posted: 12/31/2011 4:29:32 PM EDT

[#39]

Quoted:
Noobs and amateurs.
If they can still form coherent sentences then your foreplay is weak.
Should be flushed face and glazed over eyes and facial muscles very slack if you've done your job right.

Wha? We ain't got all day here, some of us have to work!

Quoted:
My last GF who later went into porn said and did some crazy stuff.

Forced Sex/rape fantasies/forced anal, slapping/close fisted hitting, macrame, throat/face fucking, choking her til she passed out (rear naked choke type of stuff), wanted me to cut her, etc.

Nope, no daddy issues there. Nosiree!!!

Quoted:
Do you mind if I nurse my baby while you do this?

I just KNEW Virginia would deliver in this thread!

Posted: 12/31/2011 4:42:05 PM EDT

[#40]

Quoted:
My last GF who later went into porn said and did some crazy stuff.

Forced Sex/rape fantasies/forced anal, slapping/close fisted hitting, macrame, throat/face fucking, choking her til she passed out (rear naked choke type of stuff), wanted me to cut her, etc.

What kind of freak is into macrame??

Posted: 12/31/2011 4:46:59 PM EDT

[#41]

Quoted:

Quoted:
Noobs and amateurs.
If they can still form coherent sentences then your foreplay is weak.
Should be flushed face and glazed over eyes and facial muscles very slack if you've done your job right.

Foreplay?

I don't have time for that stuff....

Posted: 12/31/2011 4:47:42 PM EDT

[#42]

Pee in me!Not in my van

Posted: 12/31/2011 4:48:19 PM EDT

[#43]

I remembered these during the afternoon.

They are both honest to god true. Different girls.

"If I fall asleep or anything, I want you to still go ahead and finish"
One day, I walked into the room and the lady was laying on the bed wearing only panties watching TV. I figured what the hell, I could use a little so I stated my intentions and started hiking her panties down.

She made a sour face and put her hand on her stomach and said:

"I don't know if I can do this, I've been constipated and it feels like my belly is full of poop"

Posted: 12/31/2011 4:59:26 PM EDT

[#44]

Quoted:

Quoted:
My last GF who later went into porn said and did some crazy stuff.

Forced Sex/rape fantasies/forced anal, slapping/close fisted hitting, macrame, throat/face fucking, choking her til she passed out (rear naked choke type of stuff), wanted me to cut her, etc.

What kind of freak is into macrame??

As in the craft, or the sex act?

She was.

Posted: 12/31/2011 5:04:06 PM EDT

[#45]

Quoted:
"I haven't been fucked like that since grade school."

But i think she thought I was someone else.

Hey man.....do you know Tyler Durden?

Posted: 12/31/2011 5:17:02 PM EDT

[#46]

Usually they don't say much, they just point and laugh.

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Posted: 12/31/2011 5:20:29 PM EDT

[#47]

"I love you, no shit"

Posted: 12/31/2011 5:23:27 PM EDT

[#48]

"I haven't shaved in a while...sorry."

Posted: 12/31/2011 5:24:30 PM EDT

[#49]

Quoted:
Awesome thread.

What irritated me with one chick in college, was to be banging her ass off, as absolutely hard as I possibly could and she kept screaming, "Harder! Faster! Harder, faster, harder!"

After awhile, sweat literally pooling in my eyes as I hammered away as I hard as I could, I said, "%&*@, I'm doing every f%$#!ng thing I can here!"

You dated Sarah too, I see. Spoiled, demanding bitch. PSU?

Posted: 12/31/2011 5:25:00 PM EDT

[#50]

"Can I try something on you?"

My best friend in highschool's sister said this to me (I had just knocked on the door to see if my buddy was home, he wasn't) shortly before she pulled me into their house, pushed me into her bedroom and mounted me reverse cowgirl style....

....found out later from another friend that lived across the street from them that she did the exact same thing to him. I never told my friend that his sister did that to me.

Fast forward 7 years, I'm newly out of the AF and newly married. I went to my buddy's parent's house to say hi, and introduce my wife to my friends... his sister was there and apparently had been drinking when she blurts out in front of her mom and everybody..... "You're Alaskacajun, you got a big ol' dick!"

We left immediatly and my wife brings it up every once in a while (In a ribbing sort of way) when we are talking to friends and stuff....

- Clint

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Just as you're about to stick it in, she says... (Page 3 of 6)

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