Thank you for all the positive replies. I have been breaking the story down and flushing it out into smaller more detailed chapters. It is going to take awhile to do. I may get it cleaned up a little online as well but I want to save the good stuff for print. a sequel may be in the works but wouldn't start till at least august like the last one.

Still working on Mattie. She is a little shy.

Not to be the prude of the group, but I think you could do without the extended sex scene with Mattie.  Not as graphic, more intimate, more inferred,  contrasting a true loving relationship versus the beastly behavior of a rapist like Kettle.  Sometimes less is more.

You know JP, I really hate you.

Your story is so good that I am up until 5:00am & just got to chapter 9 & can't stop. Work is going to be hell tommorrow.

Seriously, good job so far. Best thing I've read since Fast45's zombie tale.

any updates? where can I buy my copy?

I just finished the rewrite of chapter 6 so I am about 1/3 back through the book. Chapter 6 is now chapters 9-11 if that gives you any indication on how it's going. I am fixing a ton of errors as I go and flushing out the story quite a bit. I think I will send out some pdf's when I'm done if your interested.

Thanks for checking

Pics of Mattie or you made the whole thing up

absolutely interested in a pdf! I'm saving a spot for it on my bookshelf right next to DBDA, and DBDA:BE.

I tried to help find a hot Greek chick, but when you type it in to google images its pretty funny. There are a couple of hot chicks who don't look Greek at all to me, and then a whole bunch of hot Greek chicken. I'm not making this stuff up. It's a bunch of pictures of food.




ETA...........I've had better luck typing in "Greek women"

Great story!  I copy and pasted the entire thing into a word file so I could make a PDF and read it offline.

Great work!

Doesn't sound like the girl we know.
Tell her she has thousands of adoring fans eager to praise her.
She must be something special to have inspired you like she did.

I think we have an idea for a picture worked out. Will advise shortly.

Still cleaming up the story as well..............

Why didn't they try to plug the gate breach with the RV buses?
Drive them up and flatten the tires. I know you needed a way to move the story on, but attempting to plug the breach seemed like something they would at least try.

The breach is way to large and the Zombies pouring in are way to dense. That part is getting flushed out in the rewrite.
Good question though, Thanks for reading it!

Your story was fucking awesome in it's rough draft, I can't wait to see it polished and sparkling!

I'd love to get a PDF of the updated version when it becomes available.  Great story and well done!  Like I said I made my own PDF by copying and pasting from this thread but obviously it will be out of date when your revisions are complete.

Thanks!

  any news??

Just finished the rewrite of chapter 9 which is now 19-20. So halfway done. Its taking awhile but its cleaning up nice.

would love to get the PDF and read it when you get it done.

I'll take a pdf when it's available, please. I loved the story, it really flowed from chapter to chapter .

Great story! I've been reading it on my blackberry all week on my breaks. Love to see a sequel.

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile

Excellent story!

I just finished it.

What is your next step?

Thanks for reading. I am through chapter 11 on the rewrite which is basically a flushed out version with the errors fixed. It's going to add about a hundred pages to a 600 page story. From there We are getting it onto a PDF and published. Then start on the sequel.

I'm saving a spot for the hard copy, right between Plague of the Dead and DBDA:Beyond Exile.

Dude that it awesome! Thanks

Just started reading this yesterday. Awesome so far.

ETA: As King of Page 14 I demand pictures of Mattie.

All hail the King!

Just finished reading it this morning. Well done, I loved it. I especially loved where Jonas and Kettle got snapped like twigs by Mike.


^And one of my favorite quotes from it.

Nice work, sir!  +1 for a PDF copy.

Thanks for all the great responses. The rewrite is coming along good, the editing is a bitch. We think everyone will be pleased with the improvements to the story. Finally got Mattie on Camera, she is a little shy so be nice! The following post has a three page teaser of the sequal which is going to be a ways off.

Enjoy!

July 2012

The hot summer sun blazed overhead, causing the air to shimmer as I steadily crossed the blacktop road. A slight breeze sputtered weakly from the west in a pitiful attempt to cool the land. I paused to take in the terrain in front of me. The structure directly to my front used to be a gas station. In better times it would have been full of people buying fuel, sodas, chips and what not. Now it was an empty shell, windows shattered, the gas pumps were torched at some point in the past and were now charred lumps of metal and plastic. Leaning against one of the nearby support posts for the overhead canopy was a dusty mirror-like surface advertising a brand of candy bar I will most likely never taste again. Halting momentarily, I looked past the candy bar picture and took a hard look at my image grimly staring back at me.
I didn’t like what I saw.

Sunlight glimmered of my shaved skull; sweat ran in tiny streams down my dirt stained face and past a jaw with several day’s growth of facial hair. The sweat dripped off my chin and landed on the front of the stained old ‘Metallica’ t-shirt and was quickly soaked into the fabric, adding to the wide ring of moisture across my chest. The reflection showed me to have a heavily muscled frame; but it was my eyes that were the most disturbing. Eyes that once sparked with laughter and friendship now seems cold as ice.
She had always loved my eyes…

Turning from my reflection, I shook my head as bad things threatened to break free from the dark places I had locked deep inside my mind. Shouldering my M4 rifle, I prepared to move forward once again. My boots crunched on broken glass which littered the pavement as I neared the main building. The interior of the building was dark as night mere steps past the now frozen open electric doors. Reaching down to my mounted weapon light, I switched it on, sending a lance of light streaming into the darkness. Bringing my rifle back up to the ‘ready’ position, I stepped in past the threshold into the store. Swinging the barrel of my rifle left and right, I carefully searched the immediate area as the beam of light illuminated the inside aisles.

The interior of the store was in bad shape. Old boxes of foodstuffs lay broken open on the floor, their contents long gone; most likely from animals or rodents. Mounds of paper and trash lay heaped in piles from the wind that blew into the building through the broken windows. Shelves and display carts were tipped over and added to the mess. Large pools of long dried up blood covered the floor. The shelves were smeared with dried blood as well. All in all if anything was to be scavenged here, it will take some time to find. Just as I was about to retreat back out of the building, I began to hear noises from the rear or the store, near the employee area and refrigerator units. Slowly stepping over heaps of garbage I made my way deeper into the dark structure. The sound of my breathing and rapid pulse was almost louder than the all too familiar moaning sounds coming from the darkness.
Almost…

Clicking the selector switch on my rifle to ‘semi’, I did not have but a few seconds before the first zombie came for me from the open refrigerator unit. My Colt AR-15 swung up and I grabbed my target acquisition in a split second. Just as the triangle of the ACOG reflex scope settled onto the Zombie’s forehead, I squeezed off my shot. The noise from my rifle was muted in the small confines of the store by my suppressor, which had saved my ass several times. The Zombies are always drawn by noise and once they catch your scent they are hard to loose. Now however, I was rewarded with the satisfaction of watching the zombie’s head disintegrate into darkish red mist. As the now twice dead corpse fell to the tiled floor like a sack of putrefying meat, I was engaging in earnest three more of the cursed creatures that were now coming at me howling for my blood.
“Hungry little bastards, are we?” I taunted.
The thought of retreating never once crossed my mind as I battled the new targets. Three Tangos, three shots; three more dead Zombies fell to the floor.

The last one however, was stubborn. I must have only hit him with a glancing blow as he defiantly struggled to his feet. I should have felt pity for the retched creature in front of me, but after all I have been through I just can’t. This one must have been a teenager when he died. He looked small and frail and his clothing was filthy and ragged. If he was alive I would have guessed he hadn’t eaten in weeks. His hair was falling out in patches and his teeth, while barred in a grotesque snarl, where rotting out of his mouth. He looked weak and yet these creatures were still somehow very strong and very dangerous.
“It’s been a hard year for us all.” I muttered. “But your journey ends here.”

Pausing to make sure I was in no immediate danger, I slung my rifle and pulled my trusty aluminum bat from my belt. I had it fastened to my belt with a leather holster and this bat has been with me through everything. It’s dented and bent, but can still kill with a single well placed swing. I let the Zombie slowly walk up to me, and as he got close he reached out with his bony arms and grasped the air.
“You just won’t die on your own, will you?” I asked, knowing it could never answer. “We will be forced to kill you all.”

When he was in range I swung the bat and it crushed his skull with a disgusting crunch that would sicken anybody who hadn’t done it a thousand times. As he fell unmoving, I replaced my bat to its holder and reached into my cargo pants pocket, retrieving my small Motorola two way radio and calmly hit the talk button.
“Inside is clear.” I advised. “Ran into four of those fuckers in here…how does it look on your end?”
“Empty as my wallet after a night in a Vegas whorehouse…I am on my way inside to help you finish.” The voice said over the tiny speaker of the radio.
Shortly another man came into the building and I waved him over.
“Damn, this place is a fucking dump!” The newcomer said. “We won’t find anything in here…it looks like it has been cleaned out for quite some time.”
He was dressed in a worn pair of ACU’s and his AR-15 was slung over his shoulder. His Beretta was in his hand however, always weary of our relentless foe.  
“We have to look though Stephen; we don’t have shit for supplies anymore.” I said. “Not since…not since…”
Stephen slowly put his hand onto my shoulder. “I know it hurts Mike, I miss them too. Come on; let’s find another place to look for supplies and a place to hole up for the night.”
Several muscles twitched across my body until I finally gave in.
“Okay...” I whispered.
As we walked away Stephen let out a low whistle.
“Damn.” He remarked. “Looks like you conserved your ammo on that last one!”

Once outside, we both stopped at the roadside where we recovered our rucksacks from where we had left them. Stephen retrieved a tattered road atlas from his pack and opened it up.
“Let’s see…we are about fifty miles from the next town.” He said, pouring over the map. “We still haven’t found any fuel for a while, and if we try for the next town we will sure as shit run out. If that happens; taking into account of how slow your old ass moves, it will take us a week of good weather and a lot of fucking walking to get that far. So what do you want to do? Stay here for a spell and check out this small town or keep moving?”
I just stood there and stared down the empty street to the west.
“I don’t care where we go.” I answered. “Fucking zombies always find us no matter what we do…”

No shit......Mike and Stephen on their own? Dan, Mattie, Stephen's dog & girlfriend.............and Matvei? That's not good.

Thanks for the tease! Now hurry up and wrap up that editing so I can buy a copy! And get to the next chapter!!!!
Really good shit dude, really good.
ETA.......get rid of that reflex and get that girl a T1!

#2 is gonna be the shit....can't wait!!!

no pun intended

If you dont make it.....can I have her?   Yes I mean mattie....throw in the AR for good measure.  :)

I could totally see how someone could become obsessed with her.

Don't make us wait to long for #2,please........

just checkin'...............

EXACTLY how I pictured her!

Thanks for the pics "Mattie"

Will read the teaser tonight
Thanks JPD

Just to give an update. Finished the re-write. Story went from 596 to 722 pages. We caught a metric shit ton of errors and are giving the whole book another pass through line by line. We have and editor lined up after that and have a graphics company working on the cover now.

Should have a another teaser up in a bit....

Happy to hear you're taking it to the next step. Loved the story and look forward to seeing it in print.

sweet  

all I can say is wow. Amazing story

So when can we look forward to chapter 1 of book 2?

Maybe this fall...

The rewrite is complete on the story and our editor is sifting out anything we missed. The story has been polished up quite a bit and due to its size we are looking at e-publishing it as three 250+ page e-books. The copy write process is slowing us down as well as the cover art. Once all that is done we want to start flushing out a story line for a sequel.

JPD, good story. Engrossing and riveting.

I found a few things that you might want to consider... (take them for what you will.)

Chapter 10 or 11... Casper is in the warehouse and has just yelled at the dudes about the perimeter... and he's read as holding a revolver... then the next paragraph has him holding a pistol and checking his ammunition.

It's quiet, not quite... you've got that a few times when you're referring to someone being silent...

It's horde not hoard...

To appeal to a more mass market, you might want to trim down the explicit weapons descriptions... I know I like them and they probably appeal to other Arfcommers but it begins to wear and read like a long advertisement after a while... Surefire G2 LED flashlight... homebuilt Colt AR15... you've introduced the weapons and did awesome descriptions initially... I don't think there's a need to keep referring to them as such...

Dan's girlfriend worked at the Silver Slipper Saloon... is that a reference to Afrcom there? SSS? If it wasn't, I thought it was.


You did a good job with Joshua or Jacob or whatshisname... I hated him and wanted him dead. Suspenseful ending with him. Same thing for Lewis. Crazy as a shithouse rat at the end...

Really good story. Looking forward to more.

Scorpion, thanks for the feedback. That is exactly what I was looking for.
The story has been dramatically enhanced and I'll run over a few things that you mentioned.

You were right about the revolver/pistol. Did not catch that but it's fixed now so thanks.
quiet and horde were both caught by editor.
Editor also recommended cutting down on the gun porn. Cut it back a lot, editor wanted even more but I was a little stubborn on that lol.
Silver Slipper is a club in the area.

And thanks again for the complements.

Department letterhead will get him everything but the suppressor in IL, even for a cop.  The only people who have suppressors in IL are people with a dealer/manufacture license and the feds.  Local law enforcement and even the ISP are not allowed to have suppressors.  Full auto is fine as well as SBR but no cans.  Dumb and pointless but thats IL for you.

I looked into that I found a few local agencies that have them. One of which had an order made as of last year. Any more info on the matter? I am trying to keep the book as real as possible lol... as much as a zombie book can be

The story is still progressing!

Damn................I saw an update from JPD158 and immediately made room on my shelf next to DBDA 1 & 2. Patience grasshopper...............

Ask them if they have clearance from the IL States Attorney Office and I bet the answer is no.  They don't even like the Federal agents having them but there is not much they can do about that.  The funny thing is that ATF will sign the form if it is submited on letterhead and the company will sell the suppressor but if there is an incident with the firearm, the department/chief/officer will be thrown under the bus.  
Of course with this being IL, there may besome departments that are "favorites" who get the "wink wink, nod nod" treatment while everyone else is told to pound sand.  One other possibility is that they have changed their stance in the past year or two but havn't made it general knowledge because I know several officers that would pony up the coin to have them on their duty weapons even if the department wouldn't pay for them.  I'll ask a few people next time I am at work and see what I can find out.
Any way, good story although if you could add a helicopter with a mini gun that would be awsome.  Maybe Dillion Aero could make an appearance.