Quoted:
Look at the floor. Why are you making any type of eye contact. You shouldn't even be looking around to even see who is looking. Just look at the floor.

Quoted:
Call me a homophobe if you wish to, but I had a dude do a uncomfortably prolonged junk check once. That disgusting scene plays back in my head every time I use a public restroom so I piss in the stalls exclusively now.  If they have small wall between the urinals, I'll piss in them. I caught him out of my peripheral vision and nearly smashed that fuckers head against the tile wall, I asked him "What the fuck are you looking at", his stumbling, mumbling answer was "I'm sorry I was just daydreaming". I zipped up and told to him to daydream looking at his own fucking dick. When I joined the Army we had open showers and it never made me feel uncomfortable, mainly because I didn't feel I was being dick checked by a bunch of 11 series. When I take my son into a public restroom I'll go wash my hands to make sure the Pedo's aren't getting their jollies.

I don't touch anything I don't need to, I flip the seat up with the sole of my shoe and plush (If it isn't an auto flush) with my foot. Elbow to swing the door open, public restrooms for the most part are nasty as fuck. But I'm kind of a germaphobe anyway.

ETA: Public restrooms are a no eye contact, no smiling area.

Quoted:
Must be a California thing..

Quoted:
WTF is up with people who drop their pants down to their ankles when they use a urinal?

I've never, ever done that.

Quoted:


My son is doing that now. LOL - he's seven.

Quoted:
I am about mastering the public restroom.  It is after all foreign, unknown land, a place where for the most part I don’t want to be.  I enjoy my bathroom, a familiar, comforting place where I can drop a deuce in peace.  Being in a public restroom means that I must deuce in a place that is soiled by other, lesser creatures.  Therefore I must master it, and make it my own.  It must remember that I have been there, and that I have fully and utterly dominated it.  

If I have to use a urinal I picked the one nearest to another guy.  Why?  Not homosexual at all, I pick the closet one to establish it as MY restroom.  I think proceed to piss all over the urinal, starting at the top and working my way down.   I like to make sure I turn the white shelf where the pipe comes in yellow and smelling of asparagus.  I do not look at my compatriot next to me, I stare forward with a pleasant, self assured smile.  If he speaks or protests, I simply smile more.  If he says nothing then I know I have won.  When finished I whip my nozzle around like a firehouse flinging the last bits of urea onto the walls next to me.  Then I proceed to the sink, where I turn it on, drop some papertowels into it and leave it running.  Why?  Because fuck the janitor that’s why.   Upon leaving I hit all the blow dryers on at once if they are present.  I usually toss a snot rocket on the mirror just as a final “bye”.

When doing the heavy work of deucing, I feel that it is necessary to ‘up my game a little’.  In that I must truly make the space my own.  The feng shui of the restroom must conform around my bowel babies.  I walk in, usually choosing the cleanest most pristine of the stalls and drop trough.    I do my business, alternating between a hard grunting squat, to a loud obnoxious rebel yell as I half stand/ half bend over to spray my brown boblits onto the back of the commode.  This way, I am assured of ‘painting’ a picture few could help but recognize.  When finished I turn to the side and lean back, rubbing my asscheeks on the stall wall like a bear would on a tree, first vertical, then horizontal, then repeat until I am clean.  This way I have a sort of graph paper like artwork made of poo.   If the mood strikes me, then I leave a spray of piss thoroughly wetting down the toilet paper roll.  You know, why not?  Once finished I kick the stall door open, hopefully breaking the lock…. Because fuck you janitor, that’s why, and walk out like a proud poppa to the work I have undertaken.  Then I usually toss a snot rocket on the mirror.







Actually I just go in and do my thing, but for a minute, I was thinking about stopping by Wendys after work…….

Quoted:



I'm dying here!

Quoted:
I don't like going into a stall to take a piss as I don't want to touch the door, latch, or lift the toilet seat.

For some unknown reason, everybody seems to miss the urinal and piss all over the walls or floor. Thus I keep my distance from the urinal so I don't get splash back which will also keep my belt from hitting the porcelain and I don't step in the piss.

It doesn't mean you are allowed to look at my dong. Well, maybe a quick glance or two but no more than that.

I am honored that you peeked at it four or five times while trying to remain stealthy but it was totally obvious on what you were doing. What I didn't like was that you didn't give me any feedback on what you saw.

Quoted:
I don't like going into a stall to take a piss as I don't want to touch the door, latch, or lift the toilet seat.

For some unknown reason, everybody seems to miss the urinal and piss all over the walls or floor. Thus I keep my distance from the urinal so I don't get splash back which will also keep my belt from hitting the porcelain and I don't step in the piss.

It doesn't mean you are allowed to look at my dong. Well, maybe a quick glance or two but no more than that.

I am honored that you peeked at it four or five times while trying to remain stealthy but it was totally obvious on what you were doing. What I didn't like was that you didn't give me any feedback on what you saw.

Quoted:
Please. Never talk to another man in the men's room.

Its a zone of silence.

Quoted:

Quoted:


So you go into a restroom and whip out your dick so all can see because you are wanting feedback? What if the feedback was another guy wanting to touch it? Pitching or catching, you are still a homo.

Quoted:
"Nice watch..."

Quoted:
Why would your belt hit the porcelain?

Kharn

Quoted:
You should probably stop pissing in elementary school bathrooms then.

Quoted:


How many would be physicially incapable of using a job site porta shitter???

Quoted:


Gay, much?

Quoted:
Know how I know none of you would make it in the Military?

Getting your junk stared at while you piss is a weekly occurance!

Quoted:


What?  

Quoted:
If you're standing way back from the urinal to avoid stepping in piss, you're part of the problem.

Everybody drips at the end of the urine stream, no?

Quoted:


And next time, please lift the seat.
I hate it when I have to clean piss off the seat before taking a dump.

 

Quoted:
I just don't know what happened to men. Men used to be tough and didn't worry about a little germ shit or getting your feet wet. Good lord, now half of them carry hand sanitizer in their pocket.

I remember the heyday of manhood. Pissing in the stalls in Ubon, Manila, Angeles city, Korat, Chiang Mai, Penang, and Phucat.  Places where an American shlong would cause jaws to drop; you were proud of it and didn't hide it.

I guess the glory days are gone - back to your tissues and handiwipes.

Quoted:
Definitely a problem, but at least it's a First World Problem.

Much of the world thinks its cool to drop trou and shit in the street.

Quoted:
down at the race track in Hampton GA I have been told they don't have individual urinals......but instead troughs.  Line up like feed lot cows boys!!    

That has GOT to be uncomfortable!!  How do you guys keep from wandering your eyes in that kind of situation???

I guess it doesn't matter.  You ever seen how drunk NASCAR fans are????  

Quoted:


Please. Never talk to another man in the men's room.



Its a zone of silence.

Quoted:


some quality bathroom etiquette in this thread



Keep the spacing at the urinals at a maximum until there is no other option



..

Quoted:
http://youtu.be/FM90lwrz4Og

Quoted:
down at the race track in Hampton GA I have been told they don't have individual urinals......but instead troughs.  Line up like feed lot cows boys!!    

That has GOT to be uncomfortable!!  How do you guys keep from wandering your eyes in that kind of situation???

I guess it doesn't matter.  You ever seen how drunk NASCAR fans are????  

Quoted:


I had a super secret bathroom on campus I would go to when I had to shit. They were small bathrooms but no one ever used them. But on several occasions while taking care of business, someone came in and used the other (only two) stalls. That's just rude. I search campus for the bathroom as far from life as possible, and some dick head comes in to shit right next to me. That should be a loss of a man card.