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Posted: 9/14/2004 9:10:30 PM EDT
Do you think a married couple should consult each other before purchasing expensive items? I mean, there are bills to pay and money may be tight or there may be some lingering debt. Say only one of them does the bills, do you believe they should check with one another before spending large amounts of money?
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Most married couple I know who stay married have 3 checking accounts...His/Hers/Theirs. pay the bills out of Theirs. Buy whatever you want from yours and keep the peace and community property.
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Usually, but not always--and of course, firearms are exempt from any rule of this type. I don't know why--it's just the way of things, and cannot be overcome.
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Unless you have separate finances and split shared expenses equally, then yes.
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If it was a large amount of money thats been saved of if it was going to be a debt that would be around for more then a month or 2 Id say yes.
Also remember Im strang and I'll spend 15 minutes debating with myself if I should get that 99cent bag of chips. |
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Yes, yes, and yes again.
In my case the wife does the chceck book. SHe is good at it. She pays all the bills without question, but if anything un expected comes up she consults me. Now, with that said it tokk us a LONG time to get to this point. SGtar15 |
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Yup. Even if you have things seperated out it's still a good idea to discuss things. It is after all what a relationship is all about.
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I like the way you think!!! |
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HE** YES!
If I didn't ask the Lady I live with about "big-Ticket" purchases She'd take my OTHER BA*L!!! |
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Wait a sec....are we talking about a man needing to ok things with the woman?
Then no, no permission is needed. I don't ask my dog or my oven if I can buy a new Beretta, why should she be any different? (thank god wife stopped reading this forum, she'd kick my ass) |
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OMG! I hope you're kidding!!! LMFAO!! |
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Yeah, if your married, it's a team game. Go it alone, you'll end up alone. Methinks
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Our rule is if it is over $300 it requires approval of both parties. We also have our own savings for wants and one savings account for needs. We can spend any or all out of our personal "wants" account.
I never want anything and managed to save 11k for my awb spending. |
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The only positive thing I can say about my former marriage is that we made ourselves responsible for certain bills and paid them. It was an equal distribution and what ever was left over was ours.
If I put in over time and paid my bills - then I had extra $$$ that she couldn't say a damned thing about. And the same went for her. If she spent $1,000 on something worth $1 it was up to her - it ws her money. That negated ANY financial arguements. I swear to god we NEVER fought over money. She's just a felonious criminal. And that's all I'll say about that. |
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Once again an incomplete Poll
o . Wait till your 40 , Dump your spouse , Catch up on all the pie you missed and buy whatever the hell you want |
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I should be there. Im serious about me doing stuff like that too. I'll buy a gun quicker then I will buy some cheap item. |
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Say man goes out and purchases a gun, assuming money's tight, there's debt, etc. Should woman go and buy $800 pair of diamond earrings? My answer would be "NO". The money's not there in the first place so why make it worse? Woman will just have to sit there in her old crappy work shoes, holy underwear and faded clothes right? I think not, end of the damn ban or not.
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As I havn't found a girl who will put up with my shit long enough to get married I can't answer honestly, but I figure expensive purchases would be discussed, though I will admit my judgement will be extremely biased (ie my gun purchases take priority over her jewlery purchases seeing that a necklace from Tiffanys won't save us during a zombie invasion)
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In my house we both buy guns. But yes, I always make it a point to check with her on anything over $200 unless it's money I have stashed away. I just spent my tax refund on gun magazines.
Remember the Alamo, and God Bless Texas... |
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Thanks for making me smile. |
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Do you have any children you could sell? That would alleviate any financial problems--at least for a while. You can always make more.
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You obviously missed the point of my philosophy. Bills = total debt total debt = divided in half bills paid = money left over money left over = whatever you want. No arguements - EVER about money. |
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I grew up relatively poor, especially after my father died, so I had no money handling skills. I got it and I'd spend it. Fortunately my wife was good with money, so I let her handle it until I learned how to respect money and make it work for me. Of course, Enron and unemployment wiped me out, but I'm still young and can recover. My wife and I are a team and we're a unified front on everything, even if we disagree on some things behind closed doors. If she spends the same $200 that I just spent from our account because it was extra, we're in for a world of hurt. Remember the Alamo, and God Bless Texas... |
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No, I didn't. Your philosophy makes perfect sense. Thing is, with bills paid there is no money left over. |
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It's nice when they ask, and it helps the trust from being destroyed
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I havent found any who will put up with my shit more then a few days. |
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So how would woman handle this scenerio? Assuming damage is done? Cuz I have this friend who wants to know.... |
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I'm sorry. My best wishes to you. |
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Being serious now--You can only work through it. For heaven's sake, TALK about it, show him the error of his ways, get agreement as to the future, then FORGIVE AND FORGET--holding a grudge will destroy your marriage. In six months <hopefully> you will be able to laugh about this. Best wishes. |
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You're right. I talked, (well, LOUDLY talked). He's feels bad. Thing is, this could have been an exciting purchase for both of us if it were in a month or two. I keep forgiving tho TBK1. Thanks for your advice. You're good for it. |
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Now, I don't know how much stock that you wish to put in the advice given by a two-time loser, but here goes:
A marriage is like a business partnership. You both enjoy the revenue that is produced by this partnership and share in its losses, as well. One partner should never undertake anything on behalf of the partnership without getting the assent of the other partner. If you decide that it is best to sneak behind the other's back...it won't be long before there is a lot of sneaking around the other's back. And I'm not just talking about monetary matters. Eric The(IfYouGetMyDrift)Hun |
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I think you have to... one bad purchase by one spouse = spending spree by the other...
its a vicious cycle. - BG |
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well I dont really know how to answer this question. If the damage is already done, I would say try to work it out the best you can. There is always a solution for it. Btw Welcome Back Justa |
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That you know of |
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My wife and I talk about everything money wise. Being married IS a partnership and requires work from BOTH sides. Sure ,I'd love to go out and buy all the guns I want. And I'm sure she would like to go out and buy stuff that women will buy, but we do not do that to each other. That isn't what being married is about. My 2 cents. Take care.
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Nope. I pay the bills and control the checkbook. |
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Put his balls back in your purse and you won't have to worry about this any longer.
Did he mention all the hotties that were there? |
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The "wife unit" and myself have an agreement. If I buy a large ticket item she gets the same amount for stuff she wants. I get a new rifle, she gets a new chair for the livingroom. I get a handgun, she gets some photo gear or I just put that much in her account. So, a $700. rifle really cost me $1400. and I can't remember the last time we had a fight over who spent what on what.
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Yes. Having said that, I haven't always followed that advice myself. |
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I agree strongly with TBK1..... Look at the bright side...I don't know what he bought, but it sounds like he owes you a LOT of favors (of all sorts) for a long time now........... |
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The answer is 'no'. The answer should always be no, it is the safest. 'Is my butt fat?' No. 'Did you look at that large boobied womenz?' No. 'Did you flirt with my best friend???' NO!!! 'Are you going out with the boys tonight?' No. 'Are you boinking your new secretary??? No. Should I now read your post??? Yeah, yeah, I know, NO!!!! |
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I work two jobs since my wife has chosen to stay home to goto school. I work as an RN two weekends/month to cover what she would have made.
If I go over that, its my playcheque for the black rifle disease. Figure if I work 21 days straight, then I ought to get something from it. My 2¢(literally), wganz ¶ |
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I'm engaged, thats why I bought a class 3 MAC, and a motorcycle this year before she had a say in any of it.
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My wife takes care of the check book and pays the bills too. Both of us make about the same money and it goes to one account. I don't buy anything big (over $100) without her knowing. |
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