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Posted: 11/17/2020 2:34:48 PM EDT
he took it back the next day for a refund.
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Posted: 11/17/2020 2:35:23 PM EDT
[#1]
Good one.
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Posted: 11/17/2020 2:39:05 PM EDT
[#2]
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his pee as a canned beverage. It’s now called Red Bull. Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris’ leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died. |
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Posted: 11/17/2020 2:40:05 PM EDT
[#3]
lol...
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Posted: 11/17/2020 2:40:36 PM EDT
[#4]
Chuck Norris doesn’t do push-ups. He pushes the world down...
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Posted: 11/17/2020 2:41:12 PM EDT
[#5]
Chuck Norris doesn't do pushups. He pushes the earth down.
ETA: Beaten.
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Posted: 11/17/2020 2:42:52 PM EDT
[#6]
Chuck Norris can bump-fire a bolt-action.
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Posted: 11/17/2020 2:43:39 PM EDT
[#7]
Chuck Norris tears cure cancer. Too bad Chuck Norris has never cried.
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Posted: 11/17/2020 2:44:30 PM EDT
[#8]
Covid 19 will have to get the Chuck Norris vaccine.
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Posted: 11/17/2020 2:45:11 PM EDT
[#9]
I met Chuck at an event earlier this year, and he’s such a nice guy.
Genuinely seems to love his fans. |
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Posted: 11/17/2020 2:45:29 PM EDT
[#10]
The boogie man looks under his bed for Chuck Norris
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Posted: 11/17/2020 2:45:32 PM EDT
[#11]
Chuck Norris got coronavirus. Not coronavirus is in quarantine.
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Posted: 11/17/2020 2:45:58 PM EDT
[#12]
Chuck Norris killed 2 stones with 1 bird.
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Posted: 11/17/2020 2:45:59 PM EDT
[#13]
Chuck Norris doesn't have to flush the toilet, he just looks at it and scares the shit out of it.
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Posted: 11/17/2020 2:46:45 PM EDT
[#14]
Here is where he landed.
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Posted: 11/17/2020 2:47:05 PM EDT
[#15]
Chuck Norris does not sleep.
He waits. |
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Posted: 11/17/2020 2:48:24 PM EDT
[#16]
I knew a girl that went out on a date with him once. Just once.
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Posted: 11/17/2020 2:49:55 PM EDT
[#17]
The laws of gravity obey Chuck
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Posted: 11/17/2020 2:50:19 PM EDT
[#18]
Chuck Norris doesn’t shower, he only takes blood baths.
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Posted: 11/17/2020 2:51:47 PM EDT
[#19]
Chuck Norris tears could cure cancer. Too bad Chuck never cries.
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Posted: 11/17/2020 2:52:21 PM EDT
[#20]
Chuck Norris counted to infinity.....twice.
Dude is getting up there in years. Hopefully ‘20 doesn’t get him too. 
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Posted: 11/17/2020 2:52:56 PM EDT
[#21]
.....so he reached into his pocket for his bic lighter and lit his fart kicking in the afterburners and flew to safety.
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Posted: 11/17/2020 2:53:15 PM EDT
[#22]
Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
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Posted: 11/17/2020 2:53:45 PM EDT
[#23]
They had to rename CHUCK NORRIS BLVD. Because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
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Posted: 11/17/2020 2:54:29 PM EDT
[#24]
Chuck Norris does not wear waders when he goes fishing. He just tells the water to get the fuck out of his way.
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Posted: 11/17/2020 2:55:44 PM EDT
[#25]
Did the earth use a parachute to land on Chuck Norris's feet?
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Posted: 11/17/2020 2:57:06 PM EDT
[#26]
Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
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Posted: 11/17/2020 2:57:34 PM EDT
[#27]
Chuck Norris and Joe Biden ran for president. After "all votes were counted", FJB had 100% of the votes. Chuck Norris still won.
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Posted: 11/17/2020 2:58:33 PM EDT
[#28]
Chuck Norris has a bear rug in his den. The bear isn't dead- just afraid to move.
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Posted: 11/17/2020 2:58:45 PM EDT
[#29]
Chuck Norris and Superman had a bet on who could punch harder. The loser had to wear their underwear on the outside of their clothes.
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Posted: 11/17/2020 2:59:18 PM EDT
[#30]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I met Chuck at an event earlier this year, and he’s such a nice guy. Genuinely seems to love his fans. I don’t get it |
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Posted: 11/17/2020 2:59:26 PM EDT
[#31]
Chuck Norris once started a fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
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Posted: 11/17/2020 3:00:18 PM EDT
[#32]
Before going to sleep, the Boogie Man checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.
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Posted: 11/17/2020 3:01:30 PM EDT
[#33]
Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. Now they are just called the islands.
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Posted: 11/17/2020 3:04:09 PM EDT
[#34]
Steel wool comes from sheep raised on Chuck's farm.
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Posted: 11/17/2020 3:06:26 PM EDT
[#35]
If Chuck Norris is late, then time better slow the hell down.
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Posted: 11/17/2020 3:08:03 PM EDT
[#36]
They were going to put Chuck Norris' face on Mount Rushmore. But the granite was too soft for Chuck's beard. (Chuck Norris' favorite Chuck Norris joke.)
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Posted: 11/17/2020 3:09:11 PM EDT
[#37]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I met Chuck at an event earlier this year, and he’s such a nice guy. Genuinely seems to love his fans. That's the worst Chuck Norris joke I've ever read. |
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Posted: 11/17/2020 3:10:04 PM EDT
[#38]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Chuck Norris and Superman had a bet on who could punch harder. The loser had to wear their underwear on the outside of their clothes. Good one. |
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Posted: 11/17/2020 3:10:23 PM EDT
[#39]
Ha!
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Posted: 11/17/2020 3:10:36 PM EDT
[#40]
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
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Posted: 11/17/2020 3:15:06 PM EDT
[#41]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Chuck Norris counted to infinity.....twice. Dude is getting up there in years. Hopefully '20 doesn't get him too. Chuck Norris died several years ago. The Grim Reaper hasn't built up the courage to tell him. |
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Posted: 11/17/2020 3:16:07 PM EDT
[#42]
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Posted: 11/17/2020 3:17:12 PM EDT
[#43]
Quote HistoryQuoted: They had to rename CHUCK NORRIS BLVD. Because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives. 
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Posted: 11/17/2020 3:19:09 PM EDT
[#44]
The ground he landed on is still crying.
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Posted: 11/17/2020 3:19:57 PM EDT
[#45]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I knew a girl that went out on a date with him once. Just once. 
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Posted: 11/17/2020 3:20:32 PM EDT
[#46]
Chuck Norris built, with his own hands, the log cabin he was born in.
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Posted: 11/17/2020 3:22:03 PM EDT
[#47]
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Posted: 11/17/2020 3:27:42 PM EDT
[#48]
Chuck Norris does not believe in the periodic table. He only believes in the element of surprise.
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Posted: 11/17/2020 3:28:19 PM EDT
[#49]
Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong to a “who has more testicles” contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.
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Posted: 11/17/2020 3:28:25 PM EDT
[#50]
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