User Panel
Posted: 11/17/2020 2:34:48 PM EDT
he took it back the next day for a refund.
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If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his pee as a canned beverage. It’s now called Red Bull. Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris’ leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died. |
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Chuck Norris doesn’t do push-ups. He pushes the world down...
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Chuck Norris doesn't do pushups. He pushes the earth down.
ETA: Beaten. |
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Chuck Norris tears cure cancer. Too bad Chuck Norris has never cried.
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I met Chuck at an event earlier this year, and he’s such a nice guy.
Genuinely seems to love his fans. |
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Chuck Norris got coronavirus. Not coronavirus is in quarantine.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have to flush the toilet, he just looks at it and scares the shit out of it.
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I knew a girl that went out on a date with him once. Just once.
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Chuck Norris tears could cure cancer. Too bad Chuck never cries.
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Chuck Norris counted to infinity.....twice.
Dude is getting up there in years. Hopefully ‘20 doesn’t get him too. |
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.....so he reached into his pocket for his bic lighter and lit his fart kicking in the afterburners and flew to safety.
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Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
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They had to rename CHUCK NORRIS BLVD. Because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
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Chuck Norris does not wear waders when he goes fishing. He just tells the water to get the fuck out of his way.
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Did the earth use a parachute to land on Chuck Norris's feet?
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Chuck Norris and Joe Biden ran for president. After "all votes were counted", FJB had 100% of the votes. Chuck Norris still won.
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Chuck Norris has a bear rug in his den. The bear isn't dead- just afraid to move.
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Chuck Norris and Superman had a bet on who could punch harder. The loser had to wear their underwear on the outside of their clothes.
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Chuck Norris once started a fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
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Before going to sleep, the Boogie Man checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. Now they are just called the islands.
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If Chuck Norris is late, then time better slow the hell down.
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They were going to put Chuck Norris' face on Mount Rushmore. But the granite was too soft for Chuck's beard. (Chuck Norris' favorite Chuck Norris joke.)
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There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
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Chuck Norris built, with his own hands, the log cabin he was born in.
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Chuck Norris does not believe in the periodic table. He only believes in the element of surprise.
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Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong to a “who has more testicles” contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.
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