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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:26:56 PM EDT
[#1]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
But would it suck as bad as being in her 60's, never having had her own baby, and wishing she had done it when she was in her 40's? Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted: This...maybe adopt? She's gonna be in her 60s when that kid is graduating high school and that would suck Also babies/toddlers would suck to run behind in your 40s |
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:27:30 PM EDT
[#2]
You don't want your wife growing old with regret that she never had a biological child of her own. I think that is a regret you don't get over. Of course there are risks. But maybe you should try. If it's too late, it's too late.
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:28:03 PM EDT
[#3]
FPNI. Additionally username appropriate
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:28:20 PM EDT
[#4]
Run for the hills....my wife had our last daughter at 40, and it was indeed risky. My baby was born 1 month early and was only 4 lbs 11 oz
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:29:10 PM EDT
[#5]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I'm in my 40s and doing it. It's fine. Forever young, forever retarded  |
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:29:28 PM EDT
[#6]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I'm 48, our son will be 8 months old in 3 days. Thankfully my wife is 26, otherwise things would likely be a lot more difficult.  |
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:30:26 PM EDT
[#7]
You guys make it sound like it's impossible. My sister in law had her latest healthy full term baby at age 40 exactly. Dad was 41 at the time.
Fuck it and go for it. My wife is two months pregnant with our first at 31 and I am 31 as well. |
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:30:58 PM EDT
[#8]
Give it shot.
There are serious risks but you will have zero chance if you wait much longer. |
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:31:26 PM EDT
[#9]
The naysayers have a point about the health risks. But as someone else mentioned, if she's ok with terminating a pregnancy if tests show genetic abnormalities then things get a little easier. Having and raising a baby is likely never easy, unless you're rich and can afford nannies, wet nurses, tutors, etc etc. But having a child is your own little slice of immortality. And hopefully one day your (adult) child will have children, and then their kids will have kids, and so on and so on.
Wimp out now and you guys are basically genetic dead ends. Yeah it would have been a heck of a lot easier 8 years ago, but it's entirely doable now, even at 43-44. And think of it this way, at least she's getting the itch now at 43, and not in 10 years at 53. Whatever you guys decide, good luck! |
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:31:44 PM EDT
[#10]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
The fam. My wife was 44 when she had my little homeboy on the left. He's a terror, but makes my world go 'round. https://i.imgur.com/VOA3n9I.jpg |
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:32:38 PM EDT
[#11]
We had our 2nd kid when I was 41 and my wife was 40. No issues whatsoever.
At 10 years old now she's smarter than her big sister who is 19! 
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:34:00 PM EDT
[#12]
find a younger woman and get her pregnant.
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:35:12 PM EDT
[#13]
41 and 43 when my wife popped out our 2 boys.
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:35:20 PM EDT
[#14]
You better start giving her your hot load immediately. No time to waste.
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:35:38 PM EDT
[#15]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
get some genetic testing like CF, SMA etc... good luck to you, my wife had our 2nd child at 42 and he's perfectly healthy and happy at 9 months old, 97 percentile in height too It's like going out in the cold will give you a cold, the shit just won't go away. It's not to say there aren't increased risks, but when you look deep, they're barely even an increase. For me, it would be worth the risk. |
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:35:42 PM EDT
[#16]
You are at the age where you should have kids grown and gone. Maybe it is selfish but you should be looking forward to years of doing what you want to do...not child rearing. Get a puppy.
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:37:12 PM EDT
[#17]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I'm 72 with the son at 16. Doesn't suck even slightly. Best thing we ever did 
Trying to prep the battlespace for another within a year or two, as I'd love to have another, but so far she's not having any of it.
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:38:53 PM EDT
[#18]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
No one's told to OP to eject yet? OP, EJECT. You risk a life of heartache and financial ruin if there are health issues with this. You two had your chance and put it off; it's scary dangerous now. If there are health issues, is it fair to the kid? You might luck out; you might not. |
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:42:11 PM EDT
[#19]
Don't ask me...we were 46 when our last one was born.
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:45:18 PM EDT
[#20]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I'm 48, our son will be 8 months old in 3 days. Thankfully my wife is 26, otherwise things would likely be a lot more difficult. |
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:46:13 PM EDT
[#21]
It’s never too late to enjoy the awesomeness of kids.
I’m 42 and have a 6mo old, 3yr old, and 5yr old. I wouldn’t change a thing. Keeps me young. |
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:48:14 PM EDT
[#22]
Quoted:
long story short, we never had biological kids because we fostered a deceased friend's kid in our late 20s and 30s. We talked about it maybe 8 years ago, and decided that the foster was essentially our child, since my wife helped her friend raise her from birth until the mom died. but now she's been dropping hints. Lots of "you know, we could have one of those" when she sees a baby or toddler. one of her friends is pregnant at 38 and I think that got her thinking. how screwed am I? I know 43 is not an optimum age. Then knock the bottom out of it until she won’t let you touch her anymore. Then just shrug and say that you tried. Do you get a vote? Because my vote would be to not have kids running around the house after I retire. |
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:48:44 PM EDT
[#23]
Do it. My sister just had her second child at 46
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:48:47 PM EDT
[#24]
Quote HistoryQuoted: You're a regular Hugh Hefner, damn. Well done.
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:50:02 PM EDT
[#25]
Try, try, try and try again.
Your actual odds of “success” are in the very low single digits, but it’s gonn be fun one way or the other... 
ETA: had our two in our early forties; both smart, strong, and 100% healthy. The country needs some good kids. |
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:50:47 PM EDT
[#26]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
The fam. My wife was 44 when she had my little homeboy on the left. He's a terror, but makes my world go 'round. https://i.imgur.com/VOA3n9I.jpg |
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:52:33 PM EDT
[#27]
I dunno, I had my kids early so that I could actually enjoy retirement.
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:53:29 PM EDT
[#28]
I’m 44, wife is 41. We have two boys, 4 yr & 18 mos.
It’s a challenge keeping up with them, and I’m in decent shape. It would have been much easier 10 years earlier, but it is what it is. Both boys are healthy, with above average growth statistics. Youngest has infant excema, and is sensitive to scented detergents, but that’s the worst of it. We both feel like we won the baby lottery and have ZERO regrets about the decision. Procreation is the meaning of life...to pass on from one generation to the next the values and wisdom of the family line. It’s tough work, and I’m feeling it more and more every day, so don't delay if you do...and best of luck. |
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:57:14 PM EDT
[#29]
No fucking way!
Its time to enjoy life more. You must not be enough for her. |
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Posted: 3/18/2019 10:03:22 PM EDT
[#30]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Hey, brother! Beautiful family! Do they know you ccw dual .50s? lol Hope you're doing well, brother. |
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Posted: 3/18/2019 10:36:25 PM EDT
[#31]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
He’s not kidding. There are risks involved. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Down's syndrome is a real risk, as well as all the other stuff with a geriatric pregnancy |
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Posted: 3/18/2019 10:41:51 PM EDT
[#32]
OP, has your wife considered that due to her age she may not even be able to get pregnant at all - or have a really hard time conceiving?
I’ve known a number of women (I’m in late 40s) who suddenly decided around 40 that they wanted a kid. Most had gotten married in late 30s. They couldn’t get preggers. They admitted they wanted a baby so badly they just ignored the possibility they might not be able to get pregnant at all. |
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Posted: 3/18/2019 10:47:05 PM EDT
[#33]
Quoted:
snip Just keep pumping away. 
Quoted:
Pregnancy is always a risk. Young, seemingly healthy women die even with today's medical tech. Pregnancy gets riskier the older you are. Have her discuss with her OB/GYN. They can cover all the risk factors with her. Main thing, you can't let arf GD decide this for you LOL Never stop pumping! |
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Posted: 3/18/2019 10:47:39 PM EDT
[#34]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
At what point do eggs fall off the cliff? (Thinking of a graph but can't find it) Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted: Her eggs are shit at 43, if they even exist. Possible but extremely unlikely she can ovulate any quality eggs and then through in vitro get pregnant. If she insists on it, she absolutely could get donated eggs that are fertilized with your sperm. Talk to a fertility specialist. After 40. 43? Forget about it! You can still try if you want to, but if she is serious then get some donor eggs. It won’t be hers biologically, but she won’t care. 
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Posted: 3/18/2019 10:55:42 PM EDT
[#35]
Mine got pregnant at 40 and our son is 18 months and a incredibly healthy boy. She had a less than 3% chance of getting pregnant so we were ready to accept just not having a child. It's the best thing that has happened to us. With today's tests and tech, having a baby in the 40's is almost normal.
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Posted: 3/18/2019 10:57:51 PM EDT
[#36]
Quote HistoryQuoted: @Merrell After 40. 43? Forget about it! You can still try if you want to, but if she is serious then get some donor eggs. It won’t be hers biologically, but she won’t care.  Attached File |
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Posted: 3/18/2019 11:03:35 PM EDT
[#37]
Wife had our youngest at 45.
Yeah, I'll be over 60 at his HS graduation, but what the hell do I care watching him enjoy every day of his life. |
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Posted: 3/18/2019 11:07:32 PM EDT
[#38]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I do too. I’m early 50s and my youngest is 22. I want to raise at least another child. Shit was sad. |
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Posted: 3/18/2019 11:09:57 PM EDT
[#39]
Send her away with her friends for a weekend.
Get a vasectomy. Don't tell her. |
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Posted: 3/18/2019 11:12:08 PM EDT
[#40]
43 is very difficult but after 45 almost impossible
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Posted: 3/18/2019 11:13:26 PM EDT
[#41]
I don't recommend it. We had a "bonus baby" at 44. It was very hard on the wife physically and neither of us have the energy we had in our 20s when we had our other two.
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Posted: 3/18/2019 11:14:28 PM EDT
[#42]
At 43 my kids will nearly be grown and out of the house. They wear me out enough as it is, but I’m sure I’d manage if we had another. I just really really don’t want any more if I can help it.
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Posted: 3/18/2019 11:14:39 PM EDT
[#43]
Quote HistoryQuoted: At what point do eggs fall off the cliff? (Thinking of a graph but can't find it) |
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Posted: 3/18/2019 11:15:45 PM EDT
[#44]
Better do chorionic villi sampling or risk a messed up kid. Just amino isn’t near as good.
Ive seen many babies in the NICU that had serious issues and their amino said everything was OK. My wife was 35 when she had our first. |
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Posted: 3/18/2019 11:18:49 PM EDT
[#45]
Wow.. so many “older” people are having kids these days. A change of times?
I’m 43, wife is 45. Oldest is 20 in college and youngest #2 is 16 in high school. We do recommend to our kids to wait a little later, but not too late. Any babies around here will be grand children. Do you OP, I’ve just been shocked how much older people are having children these days. Modern medicine is a miracle. |
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Posted: 3/18/2019 11:21:04 PM EDT
[#46]
Women in their 40’s is the fastest growing demographic for having kids.
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Posted: 3/18/2019 11:21:30 PM EDT
[#47]
Ask if you can name him CRISPR!!!
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Posted: 3/18/2019 11:22:20 PM EDT
[#48]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
We folks in our 40s no longer have the energy for youngsters. You get out and play with your kids, skip sleep often and work overtime for vacations. We do that in our 20s and early 30s. Not now. No way. Having no worries is a plus for having them later. I couldn’t imagine trying to make ends meet and being an 20 something with kids....a lot of people do it, but there’s an easier way. |
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Posted: 3/18/2019 11:23:04 PM EDT
[#49]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Are there any good graphs/charts of risks vs. age?  Attached File Attached File Attached File |
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Posted: 3/18/2019 11:23:25 PM EDT
[#50]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
We folks in our 40s no longer have the energy for youngsters. You get out and play with your kids, skip sleep often and work overtime for vacations. We do that in our 20s and early 30s. Not now. No way. |
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