The best advice you've ever gotten

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Posted: 6/22/2003 3:35:12 PM EDT

What's the best advice you've ever heard?

Posted: 6/22/2003 3:38:03 PM EDT

[#1]

Buy low, sell high.

Posted: 6/22/2003 3:38:46 PM EDT

[#2]

or...

1. Make up your mind to be happy.
Learn to find pleasure in simple things.

2. Make the best of your circumstances.
No one has everything, and everyone has something of sorrow
intermingled
with gladness of life. The trick is to make the laughter outweigh the
tears.

3. Don't take yourself too seriously.
Don't think that somehow you should be protected from misfortune that
befalls other people.

4. You can't please everybody.
Don't let criticism worry you.

5. Don't let your neighbor set your standards.
Be yourself.

6. Do the things you enjoy doing but stay out of debt.

7. Never borrow trouble.
Imaginary things are harder to bear than real ones.

8. Since hate poisons the soul, do not cherish jealousy,enmity,grudges.
Avoid people who make you unhappy.

9. Have many interests.
If you can't travel, read about new places.

10. Don't hold postmortems.
Don't spend your time brooding over sorrows or mistakes. Don't be one
who never gets over things.

11. Do what you can for those less fortunate than yourself.

12. Keep busy at something. A busy person never has time to be unhappy.

Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens!

Posted: 6/22/2003 3:38:54 PM EDT

[#3]

Your Focus should be on the front sight!

Posted: 6/22/2003 3:40:57 PM EDT

[#4]

Wrap it up.

Posted: 6/22/2003 3:41:26 PM EDT

[#5]

Dying is easy, everything else is hard.

Posted: 6/22/2003 3:43:14 PM EDT

[#6]

From my father: "Don't try to figure out women".
AB

Posted: 6/22/2003 3:44:35 PM EDT

[#7]

Fuck them all.

Posted: 6/22/2003 3:45:48 PM EDT

[#8]

Pee every chance you get.

Posted: 6/22/2003 3:46:28 PM EDT

[#9]

I wouldn't do that if I were you.

Posted: 6/22/2003 3:47:01 PM EDT

[#10]

from my dad as i leave for college:

don't marry the first girl to stick her hands down your pants

Posted: 6/22/2003 3:49:48 PM EDT

[#11]

30 years ago, age 13, I was told (and taught) "If you do something right the first time you won't have to do it again."

Posted: 6/22/2003 4:05:45 PM EDT

[#12]

[b]NEVER[/b] turn down a woman if she offers herself to you...

Unless she's excessively fat, ugly, or both...

[banana] [banana] [banana]

Posted: 6/22/2003 4:05:53 PM EDT

[#13]

It's hard to soar with the eagles if you've been hooting with the owls.

Posted: 6/22/2003 4:41:47 PM EDT

[#14]

Quoted:
30 years ago, age 13, I was told (and taught) "If you do something right the first time you won't have to do it again."

View Quote

Mine is very similar...

"Buy the best tools once and you will never have to buy them again."

Posted: 6/22/2003 4:50:50 PM EDT

[#15]

1:It is better to be tried by 12 than carried by 6

2: Shoot for center mass, it is not my fault God put all the vitals in one place. Sherif at concealed carry course

Posted: 6/22/2003 4:54:27 PM EDT

[#16]

The secret to a happy marriage is:
"Knowing when to shut up".

Posted: 6/22/2003 4:55:00 PM EDT

[#17]

Don't buy the cow if you get the milk for free.

Posted: 6/22/2003 4:56:11 PM EDT

[#18]

"Dont knock er up,,we arent paying for it" my lovely parents.

Posted: 6/22/2003 5:06:20 PM EDT

[#19]

... "Try it, it's San Francisco four way, Osley made, Window-Pane."

Posted: 6/22/2003 5:25:59 PM EDT

[#20]

"Never moon a werewolf."

Sure, it sounds simple, but I have lived by this advice ever since I was a kid and to this day have never had a werewolf bite my ass.

Posted: 6/22/2003 5:29:15 PM EDT

[#21]

Sometimes the best advice is unheeded.

Posted: 6/22/2003 5:31:36 PM EDT

[#22]

"Don't waste time, energy and money trying to change things you have no control over."

"Every man is responsible for his own happiness."

"To thine own self be true."

All of which, I suppose were subliminal ways of my loved ones basically saying:

"Will you please divorce that b!tch already!?"

Posted: 6/22/2003 5:32:32 PM EDT

[#23]

From an old wacko drunk:

"Life is like a shit sandwich and I've had
one too many bites."

Posted: 6/22/2003 5:38:27 PM EDT

[#24]

If you want something done right do it yourself.

Posted: 6/22/2003 5:47:13 PM EDT

[#25]

My dog taught me these things:

if it smells good, eat it...

if it don't smell good, fvck it...

of you can't eat it and you can't fvck it,
piss on it...[;)]

Posted: 6/22/2003 5:52:34 PM EDT

[#26]

Quoted:
... "Try it, it's San Francisco four way, Osley made, Window-Pane."

View Quote

We used to share these between 2 people! [shock]
4 way my ass! LOL!!
AB

Posted: 6/22/2003 10:06:29 PM EDT

[#27]

Good... Better... Best..Never let it rest until your good is better and your better is best.

Posted: 6/22/2003 10:18:00 PM EDT

[#28]

Don't give advice.

Posted: 6/22/2003 10:18:45 PM EDT

[#29]

When in doubt, whip it out

Posted: 6/22/2003 10:20:09 PM EDT

[#30]

Pop always told me:

"If you date a girl, ALWAYS look at mama. That's what she's gonna look like in 20 years"

"Never get your meat where you get your bread"

"It's ok to date chubby girls..You're guaranteed to get some and she'll appreciate it more"

Mama said:

"You can learn something from EVERYONE you meet"

"Never go a day without learning something new"

Posted: 6/22/2003 10:41:18 PM EDT

[#31]

WATCH OUT!

Posted: 6/22/2003 10:41:37 PM EDT

[#32]

Find the clitoris.

from chef.....

Posted: 6/22/2003 10:41:49 PM EDT

[#33]

Don't know if this qualifies as an advice:

"Women are just like that, accessories."

(actually its from a crappy movie about a husband getting his ass kicked by his wife, so please don't take it seriously [:)])

Posted: 6/22/2003 10:45:56 PM EDT

[#34]

Stop. Don't look down. Walk backwards, Slowly.

Posted: 6/22/2003 10:46:27 PM EDT

[#35]

Quoted:
Pee every chance you get.

View Quote

Yeah, that was mine. Never pass up an opportunity to pee. My wife used to give me shit all the time because I would go to the bathroom before leaving the house. She finally figured out that life is a lot better when you pee when the opportunity presents itself.

Posted: 6/22/2003 10:49:50 PM EDT

[#36]

Shut up and listen.

-also-

Never raise your hand to a child. It leaves your groin unprotected. (I read that here on ARFCOM last week.)

Posted: 6/22/2003 10:52:20 PM EDT

[#37]

never volunteer untill you have all the details.

Posted: 6/22/2003 10:59:00 PM EDT

[#38]

[size=4]TANSTAAFL![/size=4]

"There ain't no such thing as a free lunch."

Which is more or less the same thing as:

"You get what you pay for, and when there's an exception to this rule, it's almost always you getting LESS than what you paid for, not more."

So many people end up with so much useless crap because they are so focused on "saving money" that they buy crap that doesn't work and doesn't last, then complain that they have to buy another one.

You only buy quality ONCE.

-Troy

Posted: 6/22/2003 11:21:25 PM EDT

[#39]

"Talk low, talk slow, and don't say too much."

John Wayne

Posted: 6/22/2003 11:28:48 PM EDT

[#40]

Quoted:
From an old wacko drunk:

"Life is like a shit sandwich and I've had
one too many bites."

View Quote

One day some friends of mine and I were sitting at the local Burger King complaining how this friend did this and this friend did that and we were bitching. This drunk that was 15 feet from us walked over and said, "Im sorry but I was listening to y'all complain for the last 1/2 hour and if I may say [b]It's all bullshit.[/b] and remember that for the rest of your life"

You know what? He was right.

The second thing I remember was a line that went something like this "The less you lie, the less you have to remember" I think it was Mark Twain.

Posted: 6/22/2003 11:36:49 PM EDT

[#41]

Quoted:
Fuck them all.

View Quote

...and everyone that looks like them.

Posted: 6/22/2003 11:49:29 PM EDT

[#42]

"Nobody will know how dumb you are unless you open your mouth"

Posted: 6/23/2003 12:01:38 AM EDT

[#43]

you were not meant to understand your life,

you were meant to live it...

Posted: 6/23/2003 12:41:19 AM EDT

[#44]

There is a reason God gave you two ears, and only one mouth....

Posted: 6/23/2003 12:56:01 AM EDT

[#45]

Quoted:
If you want something done right do it yourself.

View Quote

At our old beat up freshman dorm room, years ago, they let you grafitti the walls and paint over it during the summer months.

My roomate and I were b.s.'ng philosophy and scrawling on the walls- drunk I may add. He ended up writing:

"If you want something done do yourself"

I still have a picture of it somewhere around here.