The best advice you've ever gotten - Page 2

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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - The best advice you've ever gotten (Page 2 of 2)

Posted: 6/23/2003 3:55:12 AM EDT

[#1]

From a crusty old master sergeant I worked with years ago:

"The Air Force will give you plenty of opportunity to be uncomfortable, why make any of your own?"

Quoted:

Pee every chance you get.

View Quote

A variation I've heard is "Never pass up a chance to eat, sleep or go to the bathroom."

And my two personal favorites:

- Never pet a burning dog.

- Never fry bacon in the nude.

Posted: 6/23/2003 4:02:51 AM EDT

[#2]

Quoted:
Mine is very similar...

"Buy the best tools once and you will never have to buy them again."

View Quote

Until your kids "borrow" them. [pissed]

Posted: 6/23/2003 5:12:01 AM EDT

[#3]

Beer before liquor, never sicker.
Liquor before beer, in the clear.

Posted: 6/23/2003 5:18:13 AM EDT

[#4]

Obviously I had a "different" dad...
1)Get yourself an ugly girl. She'll take good care of you and nobody will want to take her away from you.
2)If it's got tits or tires, you're gonna have problems.
3)Eat P*@$y all your life and no one says shit. Suck one D*#k and you're a C*#k sucker for life!
4)P*$$y and air are FREE.
rocko.

Posted: 6/23/2003 8:38:05 AM EDT

[#5]

Repent

Posted: 6/23/2003 9:04:19 AM EDT

[#6]

Wear a condom

Found out a year later that one of my one night stands has HIV, and had it back when we did the nasty.
Thank goodness for latex!

Posted: 6/23/2003 9:13:51 AM EDT

[#7]

If you have to draw your gun, shoot them. If you have to shoot them, kill them. (my Lawyer)

When in doubt, empty the mag

Posted: 6/23/2003 9:15:26 AM EDT

[#8]

"Tuck it and then zip it!" [:D][;)]

Posted: 6/23/2003 9:20:37 AM EDT

[#9]

Always wash your ass before a date, and wear black/navy blue briefs--they're "skid proof."

Posted: 6/23/2003 9:55:10 AM EDT

[#10]

1. The key to a good marriage is the ability to feign sincerity.

2. I have always made it my policy to date girls with small hands - it makes your dick look bigger.

Posted: 6/23/2003 9:57:37 AM EDT

[#11]

"In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock."

Thomas Jefferson

Posted: 6/23/2003 10:03:45 AM EDT

[#12]

If you've got to force it, you're doing it wrong. (Almost universal in application)

Posted: 6/23/2003 10:11:26 AM EDT

[#13]

If it's stuck, force it. If it breaks It needed to be fix anyways.

Bumper sticker from NN shipyard

Posted: 6/23/2003 10:15:05 AM EDT

[#14]

From Mom-You're a loser, don't bother, it's just going to turn out wrong.

From Dad-If women weren't necessary for the pleasure of men we would have killed them all years ago.

Posted: 6/23/2003 10:20:30 AM EDT

[#15]

Quoted:
Admit nothing. Deny everything. Make counter-accusations.

View Quote

You've met Hillary Klinton?[lol]

Posted: 6/23/2003 10:25:45 AM EDT

[#16]

If it floats, flies, or f**ks, it's cheaper to rent.

I think I heard that here.

Posted: 6/23/2003 3:59:14 PM EDT

[#17]

Aim high, or you'll piss on your shoes.

Posted: 6/23/2003 6:54:32 PM EDT

[#18]

Quoted:

Quoted:
"Nobody will know how dumb you are unless you open your mouth"

View Quote

Here's a variation:

It is better to remain quiet and appear ignorant than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

View Quote

Something like this:

Remaining silent keeps one from looking ignorant, but it also removes all opportunity of appearing intelligent.

=========
Not really advice but:

"this too shall pass"

Posted: 6/23/2003 7:05:50 PM EDT

[#19]

Mine is really simple..

---

"when you take that bus... you get there!".

---

Getting what you want out of life is just a matter of finding the right bus to take. Anyone know where the above quote came from? Hint... it's from a particular movie.

Posted: 6/23/2003 7:47:24 PM EDT

[#20]

This is something someone FORMERLY close to me used to say, but never practiced.... "Don't forget who you are." I just want to say that I never did. It kept me from doing things or acting in certain ways just because everyone else was doing them. YOU FAILED. I PREVAILED.

Posted: 6/23/2003 7:50:41 PM EDT

[#21]

This is something someone FORMERLY close to me used to say, but never practiced.... "Don't forget who you are." I just want to say that I never did. It kept me from doing things or acting in certain ways just because everyone else was doing them. YOU FAILED. I PREVAILED.