Air out that memory and let's have it. No matter how anti-confrontational you are, most of us have had our asses handed to us at least once. No tough guy gets tough without being beat to the pavement first.

Here's mine...

I was at a basketball game with a small group of friends, plus some one-off acquaintances. During a break in play, one of the lesser-known members of our group made a comment I didn't care for, and I decided to get up and get in his face about it. Because, you know... what could POSSIBLY go wrong.

The problem was that I was sitting in an aisle seat and he was about 7 chairs deep into the row. So I stand up and start moving toward him, but the floor is all feet and drinks, and I'm stuck trying to move between people's legs and the row of seats in front of us. Doesn't exactly make for a smooth path to my target. I'm looking down to watch my footing and bracing myself with one hand against the row in front of us, and then suddenly I'm on my back with a warm red face. Even though it was only about 12-15 feet from me to him, the clumsy walk plus having my right hand tied up plus having my head down gave him more than enough time to get out of his chair and sock me in the nose.

Not broken, just bloodied, kind of like my pride. The people I was with did not appreciate his actions (funny since I was technically the aggressor) and he actually ended up crying like a baby in the middle of the game in front of everyone because of it. Which did nothing to stop the bleeding, but at least rounded out the story a bit

1st grade in the schoolyard.
His name was Antony, he had been picking on me and I found out that my oldest brother had been sandbagging me.
I couldn't beat-up someone twice my size.

Aimless hit me with his flipper then scuttled to the water and split, left me bleeding.

Nope...worst was a draw. No losses.

I have backed down twice  just before it got physical, but that's just common sense.  

I'd like to take my record to the grave.

The one where I was beating his ass pretty good and he pulled a pistol from his pocket and pointed it towards my face ...

1984, drunk, Kodiak, Alaska, bar about 3am.

Got my ass beat in 7th grade.Kid sucker punched me as I was riding my bike by him.Knocked me off the bike and slammed my head into the sidewalk then thought it was fun to kick me while I was down.
I saw him a few years later...I returned the favor.

Hahaha nice, payback's a bitch

Senior year in high school, trying to break up a brawl at a ranch party. I grabbed a (pretty big) dude I know and hauled him out of the pile. He and I were on good terms. Without a thought or hesitation, he turned around and clocked me right in the jaw. Lights out for me. It was so picturesque it brought the brawl to a halt. Next thing I know I'm looking up at the sky and the guy who knocked me out is looming over me asking if I'm ok.  Being young and stupid, I said I was, sat on the tailgate, drank a beer, and drove home. My neck was sore for 2 days.  I woke up and didn't remember a thing. I remember thinking it was odd because I didn't think I drank that much, but concluded I must have been wasted. Got a call from someone later who told me what happened. I wish I had video... I'm told I hit the deck like I had hinges on my heels.

1977. 19 years old and really cocky. A guy probably twice my age bumped into me in a bar and spilled my beer on my girlfriend. I took exception to it and told him we should go outside. He then said " I'm going to kick your ass!" He didn't lie an inch either. I made the mistake of walking out first (never again) and he sucker punched me. He beat me all over the parking lot until I finally rolled under a car and stayed there. Not my best day.  

Never pick on anyone you can't whip or outrun.  

I got my ass kicked by a flyweight boxer during Marine Corps martial arts training. This guy was fast! I landed some blows but every time I threw a punch he was getting two in. We were fighting inside the "phone booth" which is a very small enclosed ring with armpit high walls. I did make it my 2 minutes but I nearly puked afterward from the drumming my stomach took.

Sophmore in High school, I was 5' 3" and about 85 lbs.  Dude about 4 times my size put a fist in my ear as I was leaning over in shop class opening my Locker.  I still do not know why, it was out of the blue and unprovoked.  I saw an explosion of sparks and was only partly aware as He proceeded to beat the shit out of me, but I never went down.  I finally landed a solid punch to his face and he quit.   It was the day I learned that being nice doesn't stop bad people.

The next day one of his friends started taunting me that he could knock me out with one punch, He was only 3 times my size.  We fought for about 15 minutes to what we would both say was a draw.  The next day another one of his friends decided it was his turn.  Something inside me snapped and when they pulled me off of him I had 2 hands full of the hair on the back of his head and was beating his face into the Brick wall.  I never had to fight another one of those guys again, and to this day 25 years later if any of them see me they come shake my hand and treat me like we were friends from birth.  Odd thing I have noticed, hard to dislike a guy after you have gone toe to toe for a while.

way back when you used to have an honest fight with someone, shake hands and go have a beer. Now the SWAT team shows up, lawyers get involved, jimmies get rustled, its a whole mess.

I was checking IDs at a bar. Some asshole tried to pull a girl out of a car window. It was my friends little sister. The guys had been harassing them all night. They were asked to leave and left. Apparently they waited in their car.

I was doing good with the 3 guys infront of me. I didnt see a 4th blindsided me in the face with a liquor bottle.

Honestly, never happened to me. I knew better than to lip off to some one, don't matter who either. I've seen small guys kick a lot of ass so you never know.
I've maybe been in two fights that I didn't start, one got me arrested and an assault and battery charge that was later reduced. I wrestled and done martial arts on and off my entire life
so I don't look like an easy target anyways. When I had to defend myself I was so calm that everything I did was so natural including the heavy glass mug in my
left hand (Long Island) going to the side of the head on a bouncer's  (glass broke finally) head. Good times

I'm a big fella, 6'5" 240. I had some wasted friends start talking shit to the guys in a low rider. They decided to make an example out of the biggest guy there. In the midst of their biggest guy( about the same size) having me at waste level by the hair and giving me a black eye that lasted 3 months I swear I punched him in the nuts 8 or 10 times. I don't know what he was hopped up on but it never phased him.  I will say that if I had a gun I would have shot him. I feared for my life.

15 years ago, in an effort to protect a friend's honor (wasn't my fight) I got into a fight with a former friend.  Being a former high school wrestler, I was pretty convinced that I wanted to ground and pound on this occasion as I was pretty sure that I couldn't go blow for blow with him on my feet.  I weighed 130 and he was 200 (fat-ish) at the time.  The location of the fight was a gravel road.  After about 10 minutes of rolling around on the ground, his weight advantage overcame my stamina and I was done for.  Spectators pulled him off before it got too bad.

I bet it looked like this.   I thought I could beat a taser.  

At 5'5" I've always been a bully magnet.  Small man syndrome demanded a fight when someone was messing with me.  I was good at taking a punch and getting back up.  Last fight was back in the 70's and was a draw.

I walked away from a lot of fights. One I couldn't though, was in jr high. This little prick who always picked on me that was out walking with about 4 of his buddies. It was cold out, just above freezing. I was walking home from a used bookstore with my weekly load of comics when he decided he wanted to feel like a big man.

(I was always quiet, taller and bigger than my classmates so i got negative attention for that from the jocks and the bullies and everyone in between. )

So they run after me, circle around and they start punching at me. I punch back and the buddies back off. The leader keeps coming. I dodge and slip on ice or snow and end up on my back. He drops and wants to start pummeling my face but i get a boot on his face and stomp upward... He decides to not pursue it any further.

I go home and enjoy a splendid stomach ache from the adrenaline.

5th grade.  Our place for fighting was "under the bridge after school" and of course whenever there was a fight planned the news spread like wildfire.  At this point I'd been taking martial arts for a few years for no other reason than I thought it was cool.  I'd been in a few chest-bump 'fights' and some actual fights which i either won or were evenly matched.  I was confident.  I can't remember exactly why this other kid (he was new to the school) and I decided to have it out - one of us was probably being a dick to the other, who knows.So we scheduled our fight and met under the bridge - mind you, this had to be done within 20 minutes so we could get on the bus.

Small crowd quickly gathers and we go at it.  I clocked this kid as hard as I could and his eye immediately puffs up. I'm thinking 'fight is over', cause up until this point, every fight I'd been in or seen typically ended after a good hit or two or a busted up nose.  Unfortunately for me, this kid actually knew how to street fight and, as I later found out, had spent preceeding years in an inner city school where he was one of maybe 2 white kids.  He knew how to handle himself. This would have been fantastic information to have beforehand.

Dude whipped my ass. He also took it easy on me.  After a couple minutes of a 1 to 5 hit ratio, he knocked me on my ass and asked if I was done and I responded with <spit blood> "I believe so." He helped me up and we became friends, which was a typical result.  Still talk to him almost 30 years later.

This incident really stepped up my interest in self defense and made me really aware of the power of information.  If you don't know your opponent, don't assume you're better and all that kind of stuff. I got home, my dad said "Looks like you got your ass beat."  I said, "Yep".  He says, "Your mom is going to be pissed you ruined that shirt.  Better clean up and change clothes.  Hide the shirt.  And try not to let it happen again."

Was crouching over this pos pounding his ass when his friend came up and punched me in my kidney twice.  Anyone who has injured a kidey knows what I was going through.

Too many to pick one.

I kicked my own ass with a wrench.  Never lost to another though.

When I was in Middle school. Got into an altercation with this kid, he hits me with an uppercut, perfect shot to the solar plexus, knocked the wind out of me.
He could have beat my ass, and instead, just cooly walked away, while I gasped for air, unable to move.
Pretty fuckin humiliating.

Other than that, never lost a 'street fight', got choked to submission in the gym plenty though.

I stepped on a heavy duty rake by accident once.It hit me so hard and fast I just started swinging at the air.

Holy cow is that really you? That's hilarious.

As for that incident, I swear I wish I had it on video... I'm told it was classic.

I also got my nose bloodied by a 6'2" 220# flaming homo. He threw a boot at me and squashed my nose. I think I left a circle of splattered blood like a Hong Kong gangster film.  I laughed so hard I almost passed out because I couldn't breathe through my smashed face. That wasn't really a fight though, just drunken stupidity. I wouldn't trade my youthful misadventures for anything...

Not exactly a fistfight, but my at-the-time boyfriend and I drank a lot of free beer one summer betting guys they couldn't slap me in the face.  Eventually, I ran into one who was quicker than I was, about took my head off, messed up the muscles in my neck.  My boyfriend, who never did cut me any slack for bring a girl, thought it was hysterical until he realized that I wasn't going to be any good for that head bobbing thing for a while.  

I was proubably 4. Grew up in Cicero. Was a pretty tough place back in the 50-60's. Fighting was just a way, or a right of passage. You either learned how to fight, or you got stomped. I have no idea how many fights I was in till I went into Basic in 69. But I got good enough at it, that I didn't get bothered much.
Not like it is now days. Where Mommy and the nanny state steps in Boys always fought, it's who we are. Or were.

Was on the rugby team in college and went to some pretty boy frat party with some trim and some friends.  Got to the party and I was the last one of my group at the entrance.  They asked me if I was on the list and I said yes and told them my name (we've been there before, no problems). Guy tells me no, I told him Ive been there before blah blah blah. Names started to get called and I looked at him and his boy at the door and called them a bunch of pussies. Frat boy decided to push me down the few steps that were there. Once I got up, I caugh that little bitch on the chin, but 3 more of his frat boys tackled me into a car. Had one of them in a headlock choking him out as another one came up and punched me, bouncing my dome off of the car door.  Kept my choke hold on the one pansy as another guy ripped of the metal chain/necklace I was wearing.  So no Im trying to get up, choking one guy and swinging at another. At this point my friends have come back outside and my boy is pulling us apart while the trim is in the middle breaking it all up.  

So in all it was 5 vs me and all I had was a small cut on my head from hitting car door, a cut on my neck from the chain, and I ended up with a small shiner.  After I got up, I looked at all them and said "See? I told you that you were pussies!" My friends and people outside of pary found it amusing

my older cousin wanted to fight me over a towel after we got out of the pool. It was a wet concrete floor, he shoved me and i slipped and fell. My sister ran off to tattle on us and I chased after her so we wouldnt get in trouble. Afterward he bragged that he beat me up...
I either dont fight or I make sure I cant lose.

Only lost one and I asked for it. I was 18.

Wasn't that bad of a loss as far as losses go, but I'm the one with the stitches and he didn't get any.

Called out the guy who "stole" my girlfriend. (I should have been thanking him, in hindsight). He was 2 inches taller and probably 40 pounds heavier. He got me in a headlock and was hitting me with his class ring which opened a nice gash on my temple (9 stitches). I got him by the balls and collar and was trying to slam him but slipped on wet pavement and fell. I bounced back up so fast, my friends said it looked like I was on a trampoline. All I knew, when I was on the ground, was everything in my body was screaming "Get back up NOW".  He walked back to his car. I'm not sure why.

Boot camp at the rifle range.  I told the Right Guide to f@@k off.  As I was ditty bopping along headed to the head he and the 4 squad leaders pulled me into a closet that only held 3 people.  Two held my arms and two held my legs while one pounded the crap out of me then they switched off.  They wanted me to say "uncle"..The only thing harder than my head is my resolve to not do what is demanded of me.  I was totally piss pounded.   When the Senior DI saw me he pulled me into his office and asked just what happened.  "Sir Private walked into a door, Sir".  Never saw the blind side from one of the other DI's as he screamed "its a hatch you shit bag".   I don't think I ate for that week.  Not another word was said.  We all got sent to different units and I never saw them again.  I looked sort of like a cross of and .  

Never lost a one on one fight. However I did get punched in the face and then pushed over a parking block simultaneously by 2 guys who are 3yrs older then me and at the time bigger then me and probably would have whopped me at the time 1 on 1 anyway. I wrestled and boxed and had my ass handed to me in both many times.

Junior year, high school. The girl I had been dating broke up with me and I found out she'd been cheating on me with another guy. I wrote her a note, called her a bitch, and left it alone. Two days later, "lover boy" follows me into the pisser and suckerpunched me while I was taking a leak. I was obviously stunned, dick in hand, and he proceeded to punch me a few more times while I zipped up. I was out cold and he booked out the door. I woke up on the floor and went back to class. It ended up getting resolved in the principal's office. I got ISS for a day and he got 10 days OSS.

When I was in my senior year of highschool my then SO convinced me to go to college with her. I figured what the hell, why not?





Shortly after receiving my admission letter, -SO- started getting real crazy, on our graduation trip I might add.


Well, I decided that since it was summer, I was a young man and getting ready to head off to college that I didn't need to put up with that kind of shit. So I did what any Arfcommer would do and ejected post haste.





Well, after having and awesome summer of sowing my wild oats, it was time to go to school. For the first little while everything was going great, I was meeting all sorts of new people, having all sorts of fun when I realized that ex-SO lived just one floor above me and was still steeping in a giant bucket of her loathing spewing all sorts vitriolic hyperbole about me.





I found that out when one of her friends came down to my room, banged on the door and started shrieking "Why would you do that to -SO-?!?!?! What makes you think you can treat women that way?!?!?! Who do you think you are?!?!?!? You knew she was pregnant, you said your marry her but then you left her for that bitch -Summer girl- in -Location Redacted-!!!"





By that time, damn near everyone on my floor was out in the hallway either slack jawed or laughing their asses off.





That's when ex-SO came down the stairs screaming "I told her everything you -insert every dirty word in the book-!" like real Jerry Springer like shit





I said something to the effect of, "Are you fucking kidding me? Since when were you pregnant, when did I ever say anything about marrying you? You come down here to my room, after not speaking a word to me for months, acting like a lunatic in front of all these people with this pissed off, yappy little bit....."





[TL;DR GUYS, SKIP TO HERE]


...That's when I discovered something else - Her yappy little friend had apparently been drinking a Snapple prior to this incident and decided to repeatedly apply the bottle to my head and face. I remember seeing the first swing, feeling a hit, wondering what to do since it was a girl beating me, then maybe a few more hits and then some screaming as someone dragged her off. I managed not to go down but I was pretty fucked up.





Other than a split ear, a bloody nose, mouth, a black eye, a chipped tooth and a few lumps it actually wasn't that bad . I figured I was going to catch all sorts of shit for it but apparently it was pretty well known that -SO- and friend were batshit insane and that I wasn't the only one -SO- had accused of knocking her up that year.

 

Got sucker punched by a girl in a bar one time.  I was with a group of friends and one of my buddies was confronting a guy that had grabbed his wife's ass.  When the SHTF I guess this girl thought I was a threat so she blindsided me.  Pretty good punch too.  By the time I turned around I was being dragged to the door by three bouncers.  Still don't know what exactly happened.

Another time in my younger days I was hosting a party and some younger guys that showed up uninvited were given the choice to leave on their own power or on stretchers.  They chose the latter route.  Guy caught me with a right hook that stunned me for a few seconds before I grabbed him and his face became one with the front fender of my best friend's Caprice Classic.  

A buddy of mine was a custodian at a local church - we taped off a square on the floor in the basement, and essentially had 'fight club' on monday nights (but with gloves). My first night, I went up against a buddy of mine who was probably 30 lbs heavier and a couple inches taller. I have martial arts training, but didn't have it in me to haul off on my friend - he evidently had it in him, though. He beat me around the ring squarely for about 5 minutes straight, until I was starting to lose my grip. I finally returned with a solid uppercut, then fell on my face. I'd call it a draw, but there was video, and it was brutal.

Moral of the story: don't fight someone you're not willing to hurt.

At a (the?) bar in Sigonela, Italy. A drunk young marine decided to fight me over some local skank that I was chatting up.

I laid him out fairly quickly and it was a good thing too because his 6 friends at the nearby table didn't take kindly to a Sailor beating a Marine.

I lost round two, badly and quickly.

Does Hickenlooper signing the bills in CO today count?

Yeah, really me.  

Got a nice concussion out of it.

Sophomore year in HS. Had to fight the school bully just off school grounds. I was a "kid" 15 and I think he had been shaving since he was 5. As the fight started I went kamikaze on him. He knocked me out cold, but apparently I broke his nose at some point before my lights went out. I came to school the next day with bruises. He didn't show up until the day after and then with two shiners. He never bothered me again.

I slipped running around the corner.

I'm not making fun of you at all. It's impossible to get tased and be a tough guy.

I have never lost a fist fight.

I laughed so hard at that, there are people in my office staring at me now

B&B?

Never been beaten.

Went to arrest a guy on a warrant(grand larceny) one time.  Found him out back of his house washing a van.  When myself and a female officer walked up and told him he was under arrest he turned around and kicked her square in the chest and knocked her over a 100' embankment which her fat ass rolled down.  I then grabbed this guy and the fight started.  I am 6'1" and 190#,he might have been 5'5" and 125#.  I don't remember much about the next 3 minutes of my life but it involved that little guy whipping my ass in a SPECTACULAR manner,at one point I swear to God running up the side of the van and flipping over and landing behind me.

If back up hadn't arrived that guy would still be kicking my ass to this minute,and it happened in 1998.

Couple of days later I saw the guy out and he came up to apologize to me.  He told me he got mean when he was drinking...... No fucking shit guy.

Pugil bout in basic, got my ass kicked

ETA
missed the "fist" part