I got hit so hard with a pugil stick I was looking out the earhole of my helmet.  DS laughed so hard I thought he was going to piss himself in the pit.

OK, when I was young and stupid, in nuke school in Orlando,  i was unwittingly dating a stripper.   I eventually figured out she was seeing another guy, when i stopped by her place to visit.  He started getting very agitated.    

I was a 5'10" and about 155#.  He was about 6'2" and a solid 225.

The stripper seemed upset, and I didn't want to argue in front of her, so i suggested "let's step outside to discuss this".  He picked me up by the neck and threw me out the door into the yard and proceeded to kick the everloving crap out of me for several minutes, throwing me, kicking me, punching and slapping...   I sort of tried to defend myself, but I was 0% combat effective.  

As a simple well-mannered poindexterish nerd, i had no idea until that momemt that "step outside" was a call-out.   Florida, who'da thunk?

8th or 9th grade there was a guy that just didn't like me. I had no issue with him. He kept telling me he was going to beat me up, etc. I always jokingly told him to go ahead and try as I didn't believe he was all that serious but more doing it for intimidation. Finally, at a football game (neither of us played, just hung out there with the rest of the school) he came by me. Said "let's go" and sucker punched me before I knew he was around. However, he had the weakest punch I've ever been hit by. I still didn't think he was being serious and I asked what he was doing. He told me to fight back and tackled me, putting me into a full mount. The guy was a good grappler and had me pinned. He had fast punches flailing on me - but they were too weak to do any damage. After about 30 seconds of that our mutual friends pulled him off. I was completely fine besides a slight numbness. No swelling, bleeding, or bruising.  Guy ran his mouth about how he kicked my ass, but everyone else corrected him in that he took me by surprise and still failed to cause any harm.  His girlfriend, who liked me before him, was pissed and immediately dumped him.  He faced infrequent ridicule throughout the rest of highschool. I admit I lost the fight because of being pinned and completely dominated, but he suffered the defeat.

Yeah mine was cracking up too, I did ok in the first bout but the second bout.... I got beat like a red headed step child

ETA
Funny thing is I ran into the guy at LDAC (small world) years later and brought it up.  His response was, yeah I beat your ass man

Off season football practice.  The coach used to love putting mats down on the entire basketball court and having us fight each other.  We'd surround the court, he'd be in the middle and choose two of us to fight.  Now that I think back I can't remember any real rules.  

This one day he decided to get the biggest guy on the team to fight the smallest.

I was the smallest .  So after 45-50sec of us swatting at each other I thought it'd be brilliant to get behind the other guy, jump on his back, and choke him out.  Got on his back, and put him into the strongest choke hold I could muster.  He reached up over his shoulder and grabbed me by my neck, ripped me off his back and threw me into the brick wall all in one smooth motion.

Next thing I know I'm in the stands with one of the assistant coach waving ammonia under my nose.  I hit the wall with my head and had a lump the size of a freaking egg above my eye.

To my surprise, when I walked back out everyone was cheering for me.  Turns out having balls is enough to gain respect even if you get your ass totally handed to you.

That post and your avatar

6th grade, sitting on the monkeybars with some kids. Out of nowhere, the kid next to me hit me square in the chest with everything he had. I lost my balance and fell 6 feet to the ground. I landed flat on my back and it knocked the wind out of me, as well as my will to continue the fight.

Benning in 84/85ish, sititng in the barracks drinking, the normal mooch comes in and grabs a couple. Being me I talked shit about his never paying for beer but drinking the fu*# out of it. We end up on Peden Field, he sprints ahead.

I start talking shit about not having to run away. Next thing I know both his feet hit me in the chest. I end up on my back, him on my chest slamming his fist into my shit talking face. Yeah that didn't go as I planned it. I learned to not talk as much shit, especially when drunk off my ass.

We ended up being friends after that, he was there and helped me out after some silly cow turned her car in front of me on my bike and made me go flying.

Got the living shit kicked out of me by 5 guys one night.

Not fists, but during pupil stick training in basic, my turn came up.  Guy feints right, I go for the block, he whips it around left....

I woke up surrounded by laughing drills and soldiers.  My bunkmate told me it lasted about 2 seconds, and no one had ever gone down quicker.

I'm better at shooting!

um..

was in jr. high.  random kid comes up to me after class said i was talking bout his momma then bam, right in the jaw.  didn't knock me out, but i fell to the ground. before i could get up, teachers already had him up against the wall and i couldn't go after him. so i guess that counts?



but the funny part... his parents thought i was scum and their baby aint do nuffin wrong.  their baby is angel.  my mom told school prinipal, in 15 years, which kid will actually be doing something.  so...15 years later, i got my college degree in engineering, with a solid job.  the other kid drove a bus, was accused of molesting one of the kids, then pleaded guilty.



go figure.


 

Never lost one, I have been the victim of friends trying to "help" on two occasions.

I was 8, maybe 9.
Was at a day time summer camp (Think a YMCA type of camp) and some kid shot me the bird, started calling me names.
I proceeded to use his necklace as a choking point and bounce my fist off of the back of his head. Well, while this was going on, apparently his older sister showed up to pick him up. She saw what I was doing, blind sided me with a hay maker, and proceeded to kick me in the stomach/ribs for several moments until I had tunnel vision and could see stars .
So, the one fight I lost, out of the maybe 4 fights I've been in, I got my shit handed to me by a highschool girl
I maintain it was ok because she was twice my age, and easily twice my size

Pussy

+1 I laughed my ass off. Though I have never done that I have done similar.

When I was 16 I was living on the streets in Atlanta. Around that time, the whole Rodney King thing went down in LA. I was north of Atlanta, in a suburb called Marietta, walking around the town square at night, and I got jumped by 10-15 black guys. Apparently, this was happening a lot around then, and two friends of mine had the same thing happen there a couple of weeks later. It was really surreal, as 1- I've never been racist, and 2- one of them called me a nazi skin head (because I had combat boots and a leather jacket ), even though I had long hair. While I was getting my ass kicked, I noticed a cop driving by, looking at the whole thing and then kept driving. He later came back after it was all over, and I was pissed. I asked him why he didn't do anything, and his response was, "gang members carry guns, and my life isn't worth risking for some stupid punk like you." I'll never forget those words, either.

The whole experience changed me, but not in the ways you would expect. I didn't become a racist, because I'm smarter than blaming an entire group of people for the actions of a few. However, I decided I was never going to be a victim again. By '93, I was off the streets, and owned my first AK and my first AR and became very political. I also realized that night that no cop is ever going to be there to help me when I need them, and even if they were there, they may not help me anyway, and my life and security were completely up to me.

The interesting thing about all of it, though, was when those guys ran off after beating my ass, one of them turned around, helped me up, and said, "Hey man, I'm really sorry," and then ran off to catch up with his friends. That part of it really burned into my mind as well.

I transferred from private to public school in the tenth grade, and was picked on by every bully for about six months.  Finally, I asked my dad what he thought I should do.  He said, “Find the biggest guy that’s messing with you and kick his ass.”  

The next day I was in history class and Rolando starts running his mouth at me.  I told him, if he didn’t STFU, it was on after class.  Lunch period was next and I had called him out in front of his boys, so he could not back down.   After class I was waiting on him.

I was 5'10" 125 lbs. wet and this guy was probably 6 foot 180 lbs.  So I called him out again while everyone was walking to the lunchroom.  All of his boys surrounded us.  When he went to punch me in the face, he threw one of those wide punches, and I was able to duck underneath and land an open palm to his ear.  

He then picked me up and threw me several yards, and proceeded to stomp the shit out of me.  Luckily his boys pulled him off of me before I got hurt too bad.

No one ever picked on me in school after that, and I met several new girls in the lunchroom that day.  

When I got home I told my dad what happened, he said, “holy shit, I would have never told you that, if I thought you would do it. You might have gotten killed.”

I don’t think I ever won a fight. I was always able to do some damage.  Rolando told me a year later that he lost hearing in his ear for two weeks after that fight.  We were friends through the rest of my HS years.

The way you turned made me think for a second you were going to walk it off.

Dont remember the name of the place, though I should having lived there for about 3 years and being a regular. It was down on the square across from a dumpy country bar that I "think" I never went into. Rough but fun days to be sure.

6th grade.  Locker room brawl.  A 9th grader was bullying my younger brother.  I stepped up and we fought for awhile with a circle of people around us.  I still remember his name.  He was bigger and stronger than me, being a 9th grader.  I gave it my best.  Finally after we were both out of breath he got up and began to walk away.  I called him a "chicken shit" and he quickly turned around and sucker punched me in the nose/eye.  Got me pretty good and I had a big shiner.  He got expelled from school.  But I never felt a hit like that again until colliding heads with somebody playing "gator ball" at the UF recruiting camp my senior year of HS football.

It wasn't my fight, but in college we're at a hockey game and my scrawny and piss drunk friend starts talking shit with these 4 kids.  So I grab my friend and tell him we're leaving RFN.  Turns out  another kid from my dorm was there and I tell him to get him the fuck back to the dorm.  So I wait outside the stadium and smoke a cig.  The four kids leave the stadium and start looking for him, so I apologize to them for his drunken behavior and offer to buy them a round of drinks at the nearby bar.  They are cool with that until they see my friend taunting them while he's being dragged back to the car. Shit.

So they start running full speed at him, and I'm chasing them down.  One of the guys gets hit in the face with a rock by the kid from my dorm.  He's down.  So now two of them start stomping on my friend and the third starts attacking the rock thrower.  So I decide to tackle the third kid thinking the rock thrower could help me take on the other two guys.  Wrong.

So I tackle and knock out the third guy and instead of helping me, the rock thrower runs back to the car.  So my friend is in the fetal position and I'm left wondering how I'm going to take on these two kids.  I smash one of the kids in the face with my elbow and the next thing I know I'm being pulled up by a cop.  The other kid punched me in the side of the head and while falling my head bounced off of a car.  Thankfully a couple chicks told the cops that the 4 kids attacked us.


Damn hockey hooligans.

If you are a bouncer at a small bar, you should check to see how many Amigos there are in the bar before you have to get rough with the one you saw grabbing female patrons.  Lesson learned hard.

Here's two:
First, a bar somewhere on the island of Oahu, Hawaii. I'm a drunk, ignorant Jarhead. A small Filipino guy accidentally bumps into me. He says "Oh, sorry" I say "You should be". The next thing I remember clearly is sitting on the curb outside the bar, actually feeling the side of my face swelling up. Evidently this was the wrong thing to say to this fellow, who might have been 5'3" and maybe 140 or so to my 6 foot 175. My buddies told me he'd been a blur of punches, ending with a straight up kick to the jaw that dropped me like a sack of potatoes. He really gave me the good news.

Second,
A few years after I get out, I'm working as a shoplift detective. I go out after a big guy to bring him back inside; hilarity ensues.
Did I say big? Think "human fire hydrant". About 5'9", probably 300 pounds of just mass. Like Samoan, Maori, something like that body shape.
I asked him to stop; he casually shoved me about 15 feet off to one side, like I was a door he opened. I got up and ran over and grabbed him; he slowly tossed me another 10 feet or so the other direction. I got up and saw one of our employees, a skinny little Afghani guy grab him; Afghani guy is tossed over a four foot tall hedge like a kids doll. I try again; he reaches out and punches me once in the center of the chest.
Laying on the ground, I think he's crushed my ribcage; I can't breathe, my vision's blurry, and everything sounds like I'm at the bottom of a well. He throws the video games he was stealing on top of me, roars "LEMME GO!" and lumbers off.

I let him go.

My chest sported a giant purple fist-shaped bruise for some time.

Okay if we're going WAY back...

When I was four I lived in a trailer park. A nice one, but a trailer park.

One of the kids around my age would invite me over to play, and for some reason (maybe he was abused, I don't know and I don't care) out of the blue, he'd just start wailing on me, really beating the hell out of me. He'd sucker punch me and then follow it up with some other punches. This happened quite a few times. I never saw it coming, and since there were so few kids in the neighborhood at the time my age, I would play with him again.

I'd come home with these shiners or fat lips, and my dad got tired of it. He went over to their house to talk to them but the kid wouldn't admit to it, and the parents didn't give a crap. My dad said "Next time you come home crying like this, I'm going to paddle you myself..." Way to help, Dad.

Well, next time the kid invited me over to play, I waited a minute 'til he sat down, and I beat the ever-loving snot out of the kid. Not proud of it, because despite the history, he wasn't expecting it and unlike him, I have a conscience, so I felt like crap about it.

His parents were all pissed at us but I took way more lumps overall than I gave him that day, but he never bothered me again.

I'm 57.  Never been in one.   Never been challenged.  Never put myself into a position to be challenged.  Never instigated one.  

When you get down to it, God kept me from fights because he knew I'd get my little brains beat out of me.

Bump

 

Circa 1987. I walk in to a bar where my friends are supposed to meet me later. I order a beer, get one drink out of it and set it down to get out a cigarette. Some huge steriod eating football playing motherfucker who is VERY drunk taps me on the shoulder and says "Did you call me a faggot?". I look up at him (I was sitting on a barstool) and say "Come on dude, I don't even know you". I think I'm going to just play it off so I turn away from him and start to light my smoke. He knocks me off the barstool. I come up swinging and even though this guy is huge, he's also drunk and I'm pretty much beating his ass. His no-neck friends didn't like that. The 4 of them gut stomped me right there in the floor and then threw me off the porch (the bar was in a converted Victorian style house) down about 5 steps to the sidewalk. I just thank God that they were wearing tennis shoes instead of boots. One of the 'roid eaters asks me if I've had enough. I had.

Story #2- In an after hours club, about 2am. I walk in the door and get about 5 steps towards the bar when some guy about 2/3 of my size runs up and blasts me in the forehead. I didn't go down, and came back at him with a solid right to the nose. I felt his nose break and blood squirted everywhere immediately. He never even blinked. His eyes never teared up. He was swinging tons of punches but wasn't hurting me much and I was making good hits and beating him half to death but couldn't put him down. I had one of his eyes cut, his nose smashed, and his lip split but he wouldn't quit coming. I was damn glad when the bouncers stepped into that one. I don't know what that guy was on, but I bet he felt it in the morning. He really didn't hurt me at all, but I just couldn't do anything with him and he was wearing me down. I still don't know who he was or why he hit me and I never saw him again.  

I've had more fistfights than I care to remember. I'm about .500 lifetime. And not a bit ashamed to admit it.

Got dry gulched from behind but the damage wasn't done by his fist, I dodged the 2nd punch getting up and went lip first into the edge of a table.



Bloodied nose and busted lip.

I don't remember what the fight was over, or what happened before I got knocked out. From reports of people who witnessed it, dude was pissed I won, and his friends jumped me and beat the fuck out of me.

To this day I have back problems from repeated kicks in the back. I'm really looking forward to having back surgery later in life.

All I know is that when outnumbered, curling up in the fetal position might keep you alive, but it's still going to hurt fucking baaaad.

Haven't been in what some of you would consider a REAL fight, but . . .

In the ring: Fought a guy with 4 black-belts in 4 different styles, who'd just got out of the Rangers, was 10 years younger, 6" taller and about 40 pounds heavier. It wasn't intentional but when I tried to kick him in the gut, my kick went low and caught him in the groin. The next thing I remember was a side kick catching me in the forehead. I was moving in when it landed and it took me completely off my feet and I landed flat on my back.

Out of the ring: In 7th grade a friend a year ahead of me wanted to wrestle. I didn't. I told him so and he kept coming. Finally, when he tried to close and wrap me up, I tried to punch him. He countered with a right to the jaw that made me see stars. Closest I've ever come to being knocked out. If he had thrown another punch I probably would've been.