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Posted: 1/31/2006 12:24:26 PM EDT
This guy weighed like 900lbs, had the stomach surgery, comes back and shits in his chair everyday. This guy actually takes a dump in a diaper in his chair. We could all deal with it if he was trying to better himself, but he is back to eating all day everyday again, and could care less about his weight gain or fellow employees. Management threatened to send him home if he didn't clean up, the management that said that has since left the company. We now have a new director who could care less what we have to smell everyday. The bad part is, this guy sits right at the entrance to our office, there is no escaping the stench. He only bathes once a week too. There are about ten of us in this office, we are getting ready to make something happen, we just don't know what yet. This guy doesn't do anything productive either since he is chair bound.

Before he had the surgery, the Fire Department would not let him work down here, because if there was a fire, they could not get him up the stairs.

Don't take this the wrong way, I am not a mean person, but this guy will look you in the face a let out an extremely sloppy fart. He could care less.
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 12:26:30 PM EDT
Sounds like heaven
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 12:29:44 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/31/2006 12:30:22 PM EDT by WyattEarp]
Let me get this straight. You have a guy who onced weighed 900lbs, who only showers once a week, & shits in his pants everyday?? Where the fuck do you work? Nothing personal, i'm just really curious.



ETA: I feel for you, man.
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 12:29:52 PM EDT
Until he loses the weight for the somach staples, Get him one of those Mr. Clean auto dry car washers. He can just put in some soap and hose himself down in the back yard. If it can spray the stuff off my rims, it should be able to spray up under his folds.
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 12:30:53 PM EDT

Originally Posted By motocam25:
This guy weighed like 900lbs, had the stomach surgery, comes back and shits in his chair everyday. This guy actually takes a dump in a diaper in his chair. We could all deal with it if he was trying to better himself, but he is back to eating all day everyday again, and could care less about his weight gain or fellow employees. Management threatened to send him home if he didn't clean up, the management that said that has since left the company. We now have a new director who could care less what we have to smell everyday. The bad part is, this guy sits right at the entrance to our office, there is no escaping the stench. He only bathes once a week too. There are about ten of us in this office, we are getting ready to make something happen, we just don't know what yet. This guy doesn't do anything productive either since he is chair bound.

Before he had the surgery, the Fire Department would not let him work down here, because if there was a fire, they could not get him up the stairs.

Don't take this the wrong way, I am not a mean person, but this guy will look you in the face a let out an extremely sloppy fart. He could care less.



Hey, goddamnit. I'm trying, okay? It's hard to control my bowel with all the pressure...
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 12:31:06 PM EDT
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 12:31:44 PM EDT
Sounds like a candidate for Spontaneous Human Combustion.
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 12:32:37 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/31/2006 12:32:49 PM EDT by Dog1]
Hey..hey...I do not weigh 900 pounds..but as I type..I'm shitting in my pants..buffalo chicken sandwich for lunch..
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 12:32:49 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/31/2006 12:32:56 PM EDT by Melvinator2k0]
harpoon him
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 12:33:01 PM EDT
That guy worked with me about 7 years ago -- only back then he had a portable fan in his office that would blow the stench out into the hall.
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 12:34:10 PM EDT
He will be dead soon..... THEN have fun with the stink.
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 12:34:25 PM EDT

Originally Posted By California_Kid:
Sounds like a candidate for Spontaneous Human Combustion.



If we could be so lucky.....

I work in a data center with 2 high flow air handlers that circulates the air constantly. The smell travels everywhere fast!!
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 12:34:39 PM EDT
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 12:35:03 PM EDT

Originally Posted By WyattEarp:
Let me get this straight. You have a guy who onced weighed 900lbs, who only showers once a week, & shits in his pants everyday?? Where the fuck do you work? Nothing personal, i'm just really curious.



that was pretty much my first thought. don't think i can imagine any environemnt supporting that.
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 12:35:17 PM EDT
Blanket Party.
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 12:36:26 PM EDT

Originally Posted By The_Beer_Slayer:
i'm sorry man.

i'll bring some airfreshener to work tomorrow



You know what smells worse than shit and urine?

Shit and urine mixed with fruity air freshner smells.
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 12:39:07 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/31/2006 12:39:29 PM EDT by Greenhorn]
At a resturaunt that my brother worked at for a while, there was a regularly visiting morbidly obese lady that often left shit all over the bench that she sat on.
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 12:39:32 PM EDT

Originally Posted By motocam25:
There are about ten of us in this office, we are getting ready to make something happen, we just don't know what yet.



So you're a government employee?
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 12:41:20 PM EDT
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 12:46:36 PM EDT

Originally Posted By motown_steve:

Originally Posted By motocam25:
There are about ten of us in this office, we are getting ready to make something happen, we just don't know what yet.



So you're a government employee?



obviously. just hard to tell whether state or federal.

Link Posted: 1/31/2006 12:46:57 PM EDT
Larry? is that you?
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 12:53:36 PM EDT

Originally Posted By DoubleFeed:
You're being too hard on him. After all, anorexia is a tough disease to beat.



Not really.

Link Posted: 1/31/2006 12:55:59 PM EDT
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 12:56:51 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/31/2006 12:57:05 PM EDT by PAEBR332]

Originally Posted By DoubleFeed:

Originally Posted By PAEBR332:

Originally Posted By DoubleFeed:
You're being too hard on him. After all, anorexia is a tough disease to beat.



Not really.

www.ahajokes.com/cartoon/beat_anorexia.jpg

The guy on the left is my hero, and likely a studmuffin.



Did you just refer to another man as a studmuffin?
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 12:56:52 PM EDT
He is just waiting for someone to go ballistic and scream at him for being a fat fuck. Then he will quit, sue the company for creating a "hostile work environment," and cash in on a life time supply of twinkies.
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 12:58:32 PM EDT

Originally Posted By motown_steve:

Originally Posted By motocam25:
There are about ten of us in this office, we are getting ready to make something happen, we just don't know what yet.



So you're a government employee?



You a smart mofo...thats right.../pulp fiction
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 12:59:29 PM EDT
I need ideas on a letter to the director, he will listen if it is tactful.
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 1:00:00 PM EDT
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 1:00:12 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Greenhorn:
At a resturaunt that my brother worked at for a while, there was a regularly visiting morbidly obese lady that often left shit all over the bench that she sat on.



What restrant and where?

Link Posted: 1/31/2006 1:10:18 PM EDT
I knew a guy that had his shit stapled. When your stomach is stapled, apparently you can't eat too much. The dude got pissed one day and ate four whole chickens in one sitting The staples popped....he sued the docs and won........then he died When alive, this cat was five and a half biscuits shy of 600.
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 1:12:45 PM EDT
I am about to wet myslef, I am laughing so hard. I really do love this site. Wish I could figure out how to post pics...
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 1:12:49 PM EDT
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 1:13:40 PM EDT
We keep thinkin that this guy is gonna pop. He brings in a feed bag everyday. His jaws are working constantly the 8 hours he is here. If we could some how rig up some sort of energy generator off those jaws, we could solve the energy crisis.
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 1:22:57 PM EDT
Positive side- if you happen to let one rip you can always blame it on the hungry guy...
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 1:23:44 PM EDT
I usually save them until I walk past his cube
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 1:25:04 PM EDT
Take up a collection to bring donuts in every day. Say they are for everyone, but leave them close to his desk and make sure he knows he can have all he wants.

Seriously, tell the director once nicely. When there is no action in a day or two, get the rest of the office and converge on his office for a heart to heart - he probably has an open door policy, for now anyway.
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 1:27:14 PM EDT

Originally Posted By motocam25:
We keep thinkin that this guy is gonna pop. He brings in a feed bag everyday. His jaws are working constantly the 8 hours he is here. If we could some how rig up some sort of energy generator off those jaws, we could solve the energy crisis.



I'm thinking this feed bag need dosed with that stuff they give you to clean out your lower GI before inspection. Maybe when the shit starts running down the inside of his legs, and filling up his shoes, he will get up and do something. If not, you can call the health department to do something.

Seriously, if the whole department does something together, like refuses to work with this scumbag. Something might get done.
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 1:31:16 PM EDT
Arrrrrrgh can ye smell it
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 1:32:00 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/31/2006 1:34:28 PM EDT by callgood]
Idea on letter to the Director.

1. Type a letter to the Director outlining your grievance.

2. Take a dump on it, fold it up, put it in a tyvek envelope and send it to the Director.

3. Repeat as necessary

ETA (I couldn't help myself)


Originally Posted By Headlice:
Positive side- if you happen to let one rip you can always blame it on the hungry guy...



Unless he ever made the statement, "I can eat 50 eggs."
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 1:33:58 PM EDT


Tag
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 1:43:01 PM EDT
As someone who occasionally pretends to be a doctor on the internet, I hereby diagnose you with HSNS or hyper sensitive nostril syndrome. And, since you have this serious disability, your employer must provide you with a relatively smell free workplace.

If they don’t, then sue them under the “Americans with Disabilities Act.”
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 1:43:46 PM EDT

Originally Posted By gaspain:
Sounds like heaven





Doggonit! That made me laugh out loud.
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 1:51:59 PM EDT
Haven't you seen Full Metal Jacket?! Take matters into your own hands. Get a few co-workers togather, some soap, socks/towels, a blanket and give that fat bastard a blanket party!
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 1:52:33 PM EDT
Man, That is gross!

Just getting that distraction out of the office would increase production plenty to cover his workload. Surley you and the other employees have the right to not work under those conditions. I feel for you, that is friggin nasty!

Only in America can you fucking eat yourself to death and fuck up everyone elses day while you are at it!
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 1:53:30 PM EDT
stop and smell the roses

fall in a pile of shit and come out smelling like roses

I'm guessing these chiches don't apply here.
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 1:57:22 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Boom_Stick:
Haven't you seen Full Metal Jacket?! Take matters into your own hands. Get a few co-workers togather, some soap, socks/towels, a blanket and give that fat bastard a blanket party!



You would need a sail from a viking ship to cover that lardass.
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 1:58:16 PM EDT

Originally Posted By 19suburban96:
Arrrrrrgh can ye smell it



Thankfully, NO!
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 2:00:32 PM EDT
You're a page for Teddy Kennedy!??!?!?!
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 2:05:30 PM EDT
I'd say buy him lunch... Frito pies and egg salad sandwiches.That oughta get things goin'.
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 2:06:21 PM EDT
Are you in a government employee union? They can get the director to add a dedicated air conditioning system around your friend or maybe put him in one of those "boy in a bubble" containers. Maybe everyone in the office can pick a day and call in sick - sick of the smell.
Don't ya just hate working with people that have no self respect, or respect for anything? Good luck.
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 2:06:32 PM EDT
Contact OSHA and see if they can survey the area for noxious fumes. I'm not kidding, this could be a serious health threat as far as you know. You may think it just stinks, but I don't think you're really an expert. There could be biological contamination that is a GRAVE, IMMEDIATE THREAT TO YOUR LIFE. Most people don't know because they don't have to work somewhere that smells like a sewer. Don't decide for yourself if it's safe, but unpleasant. Get a large government organization to help you find out if you're at risk. When in doubt, call a professional. When annoyed, call a bureaocracy.

Contact HR (and EEOC if you're not a white male) and outline your concerns that the lack of concern about this issue shown by management represents a hostile work environment where everyone is being made to work in horrible conditions to pressure them to quit. Be sure that you use the words "hostile work environment" when you contact these people.
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