User Panel
User Panel
User Panel
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Posted: 1/31/2006 12:26:30 PM EDT
[#1]
Sounds like heaven
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Posted: 1/31/2006 12:29:44 PM EDT
[#2]
Let me get this straight. You have a guy who onced weighed 900lbs, who only showers once a week, & shits in his pants everyday?? Where the fuck do you work? Nothing personal, i'm just really curious.
 ETA: I feel for you, man. |
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Posted: 1/31/2006 12:29:52 PM EDT
[#3]
Until he loses the weight for the somach staples, Get him one of those Mr. Clean auto dry car washers. He can just put in some soap and hose himself down in the back yard. If it can spray the stuff off my rims, it should be able to spray up under his folds.
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Posted: 1/31/2006 12:30:53 PM EDT
[#4]
Hey, goddamnit. I'm trying, okay? It's hard to control my bowel with all the pressure... |
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Posted: 1/31/2006 12:31:06 PM EDT
[#5]
i'm sorry man.
i'll bring some airfreshener to work tomorrow |
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Posted: 1/31/2006 12:31:44 PM EDT
[#6]
Sounds like a candidate for Spontaneous Human Combustion.
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Posted: 1/31/2006 12:32:37 PM EDT
[#7]
Hey..hey...I do not weigh 900 pounds..but as I type..I'm shitting in my pants..buffalo chicken sandwich for lunch..
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Posted: 1/31/2006 12:32:49 PM EDT
[#8]
harpoon him
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Posted: 1/31/2006 12:33:01 PM EDT
[#9]
That guy worked with me about 7 years ago -- only back then he had a portable fan in his office that would blow the stench out into the hall.
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Posted: 1/31/2006 12:34:10 PM EDT
[#10]
He will be dead soon..... THEN have fun with the stink.
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Posted: 1/31/2006 12:34:25 PM EDT
[#11]
If we could be so lucky..... I work in a data center with 2 high flow air handlers that circulates the air constantly. The smell travels everywhere fast!! |
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Posted: 1/31/2006 12:34:39 PM EDT
[#12]
You're being too hard on him. After all, anorexia is a tough disease to beat.
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Posted: 1/31/2006 12:35:03 PM EDT
[#13]
that was pretty much my first thought. don't think i can imagine any environemnt supporting that. |
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Posted: 1/31/2006 12:35:17 PM EDT
[#14]
Blanket Party.
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Posted: 1/31/2006 12:36:26 PM EDT
[#15]
You know what smells worse than shit and urine? Shit and urine mixed with fruity air freshner smells. |
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Posted: 1/31/2006 12:39:07 PM EDT
[#16]
At a resturaunt that my brother worked at for a while, there was a regularly visiting morbidly obese lady that often left shit all over the bench that she sat on.
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Posted: 1/31/2006 12:39:32 PM EDT
[#17]
So you're a government employee? |
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Posted: 1/31/2006 12:41:20 PM EDT
[#18]
 I love this site. 
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Posted: 1/31/2006 12:46:36 PM EDT
[#19]
obviously. just hard to tell whether state or federal. |
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Posted: 1/31/2006 12:46:57 PM EDT
[#20]
Larry? is that you?
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Posted: 1/31/2006 12:53:36 PM EDT
[#21]
Not really. 
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Posted: 1/31/2006 12:55:59 PM EDT
[#22]
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Posted: 1/31/2006 12:56:51 PM EDT
[#23]
Did you just refer to another man as a studmuffin? 
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Posted: 1/31/2006 12:56:52 PM EDT
[#24]
He is just waiting for someone to go ballistic and scream at him for being a fat fuck. Then he will quit, sue the company for creating a "hostile work environment," and cash in on a life time supply of twinkies.
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Posted: 1/31/2006 12:58:32 PM EDT
[#25]
You a smart mofo...thats right.../pulp fiction |
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Posted: 1/31/2006 12:59:29 PM EDT
[#26]
I need ideas on a letter to the director, he will listen if it is tactful.
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Posted: 1/31/2006 1:00:00 PM EDT
[#27]
They're there. |
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Posted: 1/31/2006 1:00:12 PM EDT
[#28]
What restrant and where? 
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Posted: 1/31/2006 1:10:18 PM EDT
[#29]
I knew a guy that had his shit stapled. When your stomach is stapled, apparently you can't eat too much. The dude got pissed one day and ate four whole chickens in one sitting
 The staples popped....he sued the docs and won........then he died When alive, this cat was five and a half biscuits shy of 600.
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Posted: 1/31/2006 1:12:45 PM EDT
[#30]
I am about to wet myslef, I am laughing so hard. I really do love this site. Wish I could figure out how to post pics...
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Posted: 1/31/2006 1:12:49 PM EDT
[#31]
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Posted: 1/31/2006 1:13:40 PM EDT
[#32]
We keep thinkin that this guy is gonna pop. He brings in a feed bag everyday. His jaws are working constantly the 8 hours he is here. If we could some how rig up some sort of energy generator off those jaws, we could solve the energy crisis.
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Posted: 1/31/2006 1:22:57 PM EDT
[#33]
Positive side- if you happen to let one rip you can always blame it on the hungry guy...
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Posted: 1/31/2006 1:23:44 PM EDT
[#34]
I usually save them until I walk past his cube
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Posted: 1/31/2006 1:25:04 PM EDT
[#35]
Take up a collection to bring donuts in every day. Say they are for everyone, but leave them close to his desk and make sure he knows he can have all he wants.
Seriously, tell the director once nicely. When there is no action in a day or two, get the rest of the office and converge on his office for a heart to heart - he probably has an open door policy, for now anyway. |
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Posted: 1/31/2006 1:27:14 PM EDT
[#36]
I'm thinking this feed bag need dosed with that stuff they give you to clean out your lower GI before inspection. Maybe when the shit starts running down the inside of his legs, and filling up his shoes, he will get up and do something. If not, you can call the health department to do something. Seriously, if the whole department does something together, like refuses to work with this scumbag. Something might get done. |
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Posted: 1/31/2006 1:31:16 PM EDT
[#37]
Arrrrrrgh can ye smell it
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Posted: 1/31/2006 1:32:00 PM EDT
[#38]
Idea on letter to the Director.
1. Type a letter to the Director outlining your grievance. 2. Take a dump on it, fold it up, put it in a tyvek envelope and send it to the Director. 3. Repeat as necessary ETA (I couldn't help myself)
Unless he ever made the statement, "I can eat 50 eggs." |
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Posted: 1/31/2006 1:33:58 PM EDT
[#39]
 Tag |
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Posted: 1/31/2006 1:43:01 PM EDT
[#40]
As someone who occasionally pretends to be a doctor on the internet, I hereby diagnose you with HSNS or hyper sensitive nostril syndrome. And, since you have this serious disability, your employer must provide you with a relatively smell free workplace.
If they don’t, then sue them under the “Americans with Disabilities Act.” |
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Posted: 1/31/2006 1:43:46 PM EDT
[#41]
 Doggonit! That made me laugh out loud. |
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Posted: 1/31/2006 1:51:59 PM EDT
[#42]
Haven't you seen Full Metal Jacket?! Take matters into your own hands. Get a few co-workers togather, some soap, socks/towels, a blanket and give that fat bastard a blanket party!
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Posted: 1/31/2006 1:52:33 PM EDT
[#43]
Man, That is gross!
Just getting that distraction out of the office would increase production plenty to cover his workload. Surley you and the other employees have the right to not work under those conditions. I feel for you, that is friggin nasty! Only in America can you fucking eat yourself to death and fuck up everyone elses day while you are at it! 
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Posted: 1/31/2006 1:53:30 PM EDT
[#44]
stop and smell the roses
 fall in a pile of shit and come out smelling like roses I'm guessing these chiches don't apply here.  
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Posted: 1/31/2006 1:57:22 PM EDT
[#45]
You would need a sail from a viking ship to cover that lardass. |
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Posted: 1/31/2006 1:58:16 PM EDT
[#46]
Thankfully, NO!
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Posted: 1/31/2006 2:00:32 PM EDT
[#47]
You're a page for Teddy Kennedy!??!?!?!
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Posted: 1/31/2006 2:05:30 PM EDT
[#48]
I'd say buy him lunch... Frito pies and egg salad sandwiches.That oughta get things goin'.
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Posted: 1/31/2006 2:06:21 PM EDT
[#49]
Are you in a government employee union? They can get the director to add a dedicated air conditioning system around your friend or maybe put him in one of those "boy in a bubble" containers. Maybe everyone in the office can pick a day and call in sick - sick of the smell.
Don't ya just hate working with people that have no self respect, or respect for anything? Good luck. |
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Posted: 1/31/2006 2:06:32 PM EDT
[#50]
Contact OSHA and see if they can survey the area for noxious fumes. I'm not kidding, this could be a serious health threat as far as you know. You may think it just stinks, but I don't think you're really an expert. There could be biological contamination that is a GRAVE, IMMEDIATE THREAT TO YOUR LIFE. Most people don't know because they don't have to work somewhere that smells like a sewer. Don't decide for yourself if it's safe, but unpleasant. Get a large government organization to help you find out if you're at risk. When in doubt, call a professional. When annoyed, call a bureaocracy.
Contact HR (and EEOC if you're not a white male) and outline your concerns that the lack of concern about this issue shown by management represents a hostile work environment where everyone is being made to work in horrible conditions to pressure them to quit. Be sure that you use the words "hostile work environment" when you contact these people. |
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