Hello been a while...chaos in my life

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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Hello been a while...chaos in my life

Posted: 10/16/2014 5:08:05 AM EDT

Hey everyone keep my life has become chaos...wife left me took kids...childrens wellfare in question. Keep me in your prayers...more courts legal stufff...money

Posted: 10/16/2014 5:27:27 AM EDT

[#1]

That sucks, keep your chin up, my friend. Been there myself, so I know what you are going thru.

Posted: 10/16/2014 7:04:42 AM EDT

[#2]

Fingers crossed,prayers inbound..

Posted: 10/16/2014 8:55:55 AM EDT

[#3]

Keep your head up.

Posted: 10/16/2014 9:03:08 AM EDT

[#4]

Awful! So sorry! I've been going through the same thing with my closest buddy.

Posted: 10/16/2014 9:21:11 AM EDT

[#5]

sorry to hear that. was gonna shoot you a note a few days ago since i hadn't seen you online.

let us know if there's anything we can do.

Posted: 10/16/2014 9:43:42 AM EDT

[#6]

Sometimes life really sucks. I'm sorry to hear this. Hang in there brother. It'll get better. (I tell myself this quite often. Sometimes it just takes awhile.)

Posted: 10/16/2014 10:08:16 AM EDT

[#7]

Seems like a lot of us are going through some sort of crisis of some sort. I can tell you one thing, one day at a time. That's my new attitude because I wake up to something new everyday and there's nothing I can do but make the best of it. In your case you have to do what's best for the kids, even if it means not best for you. I wish you the best.

Posted: 10/16/2014 11:09:25 AM EDT

[#8]

Best wishes BROvet04. My daughter likes to say - It will get better in the end, so if it isn't better - it isn't the end. Sometimes hard to see the end, but hopes and prayers inbound.
Mike

Posted: 10/16/2014 12:51:46 PM EDT

[#9]

Hang in there Capt! We're here for you if you need us.

Posted: 10/16/2014 1:18:05 PM EDT

[#10]

Prayers sent.

Posted: 10/16/2014 1:30:27 PM EDT

[#11]

Best wishes BRO, hang in there.

Posted: 10/16/2014 3:06:00 PM EDT

[#12]

Thanks Everyone

Posted: 10/16/2014 4:26:56 PM EDT

[#13]

Really sorry to hear that, vet. I hope things work out for you. It's doubly tough when kids are involved...hang in there.

Posted: 10/16/2014 5:48:14 PM EDT

[#14]

that sucks.. my son just went through the same thing.
Prayers inbound

Posted: 10/16/2014 6:27:51 PM EDT

[#15]

So sorry to hear that, but like others have said, keep your head up and watch out for the kids.
It will get better with time.

Posted: 10/16/2014 8:31:24 PM EDT

[#16]

Good luck. Prayers and all.

It's going around. Set a much nicer Diawa fishing pole down than I could ever afford, to take a leak about 3 hours ago and a big something grabbed it and took it for a swim. I jumped in the water with pecker hanging out and all, to no avail. All I came up with was sticks. Then spent the rest of the day trying / praying to snag it. Best friends mom had willed it to me in her passing 11 years ago. Guessing she got a good laugh out of it up there in heaven. I knew I shouldn't have carried it to the river but it was always a lucky pole. Dang near drowned myself as I swim like shark bait.

Posted: 10/16/2014 8:37:18 PM EDT

[#17]

Dayum sorry to hear you are having troubles Bro.

One thing I have always tried to keep close to mind in MY life -o-troubles is that at the time my divorce seemed like the end of the world for me. I thought it was horrible!

It WAS horrible but in hindsight it was the BEST thing that could have happened.

Your retro Bros got your back BROvet.

ETA for a new thought.

When your feeling down think of Cdenmark flopping around in the crick with his pecker hanging out! THAT mental picture is worth MANY giggles!

Posted: 10/16/2014 9:32:17 PM EDT

[#18]

Its in the air bro, stay up.

Posted: 10/16/2014 9:48:40 PM EDT

[#19]

BRO, I was married for 27 yrs. Been divorced now for only 9 mths. Brother, you are in for more heartache than you will be able to imagine. But, remember, like everybody says, "THINGS WILL GET BETTER" I am praying for you. Remember, we in this forum are your brothers. Feel free to lean on us any time.

Posted: 10/16/2014 9:58:49 PM EDT

[#20]

I went thru it too. I was so scared but in the end as long as your health and kids are good then you will be fine.my brother in law is going thru the same thing with my sister and give him the same advise my family gave me do what makes you happy. My sound wrong but be selfish with your free time enjoy life.

Posted: 10/16/2014 11:59:40 PM EDT

[#21]

I haven't had to go through it , but I've watched every friends marriage crumble.
They s went through hell , but they have all ended up in better places .
Hang in there .

Posted: 10/17/2014 2:45:22 AM EDT

[#22]

Our prayers are with you.

Posted: 10/17/2014 8:03:53 AM EDT

[#23]

Quoted:
.more courts legal stufff...money

View Quote

This is gonna sound cynical as can be, but when it gets down to courts/legal stuff/money, it's a business decision on the other party's side, and nothin' else. Govern thyself accordingly, and leave emotions, which will be naturally trying to run rampant, outside of your thinking process.

The mistake I made with my divorce was thinking with my heart, and not with my head, and going cheap on legal representation because I still trusted her promise to be civil, despite all evidence to the contrary. Don't be that guy.

Presumably you have legal representation. At this point, you don't want just any old attorney. It is essential you have legal representation who is a real son of a bitch. You don't have to like him, you just need him to be effective. To pull a quote from a long ago book, when you send people ten thousand miles to fight gooks on gook street, you better send killers. THAT is the attorney you want, and hang the cost.

Especially with the child welfare ramifications. Obviously that's some serious stuff right there, you need a real son of a bitch who knows how to handle those cases, and preferably one with a history of thumping your wife's attorney and/or whatever agency may be involved.

Posted: 10/17/2014 9:37:57 AM EDT

[#24]

Quote History

Quoted:

This is gonna sound cynical as can be, but when it gets down to courts/legal stuff/money, it's a business decision on the other party's side, and nothin' else. Govern thyself accordingly, and leave emotions, which will be naturally trying to run rampant, outside of your thinking process.

The mistake I made with my divorce was thinking with my heart, and not with my head, and going cheap on legal representation because I still trusted her promise to be civil, despite all evidence to the contrary. Don't be that guy.

Presumably you have legal representation. At this point, you don't want just any old attorney. It is essential you have legal representation who is a real son of a bitch. You don't have to like him, you just need him to be effective. To pull a quote from a long ago book, when you send people ten thousand miles to fight gooks on gook street, you better send killers. THAT is the attorney you want, and hang the cost.

Especially with the child welfare ramifications. Obviously that's some serious stuff right there, you need a real son of a bitch who knows how to handle those cases, and preferably one with a history of thumping your wife's attorney and/or whatever agency may be involved.

View Quote View All Quotes

View All Quotes

Quote History

Quoted:

Quoted:
.more courts legal stufff...money

This is gonna sound cynical as can be, but when it gets down to courts/legal stuff/money, it's a business decision on the other party's side, and nothin' else. Govern thyself accordingly, and leave emotions, which will be naturally trying to run rampant, outside of your thinking process.

The mistake I made with my divorce was thinking with my heart, and not with my head, and going cheap on legal representation because I still trusted her promise to be civil, despite all evidence to the contrary. Don't be that guy.

Presumably you have legal representation. At this point, you don't want just any old attorney. It is essential you have legal representation who is a real son of a bitch. You don't have to like him, you just need him to be effective. To pull a quote from a long ago book, when you send people ten thousand miles to fight gooks on gook street, you better send killers. THAT is the attorney you want, and hang the cost.

Especially with the child welfare ramifications. Obviously that's some serious stuff right there, you need a real son of a bitch who knows how to handle those cases, and preferably one with a history of thumping your wife's attorney and/or whatever agency may be involved.

I agree as well as she painted me as a Psycho Abuser so I cant keep firearms. Anything to keep me away from my kids. Screwed up my job.

Posted: 10/17/2014 10:45:02 AM EDT

[#25]

BROvet04, So Sorry to here of your situation. Been reading this thread, and the Very First things that popped up in my mind was Child Welfare and (R)BRD.

With a women that that wants something you don't, those two ingredients are magic words. So be very careful of what you do and what and how you say things.

In the Military, we learned the best defense, is a great offense.

I really do wish you well.

And, STASH YOUR SHIT GOOD !!!

Posted: 10/17/2014 2:16:24 PM EDT

[#26]

pop over to Team and read the many ARFCOM curse threads. a lot of good advice there.

Posted: 10/17/2014 3:49:53 PM EDT

[#27]

And from now on, do what I do - get divorced BEFORE you get married. Cheaper that way.

Posted: 12/2/2014 12:37:35 PM EDT

[#28]

Things are getting better

Posted: 12/2/2014 12:39:27 PM EDT

[#29]

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Things are getting better! You got to get under to get over sometimes!

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Good to hear man, keep up the good fight!

Posted: 12/2/2014 12:43:03 PM EDT

[#30]

+1 Glad to hear it.

Posted: 12/2/2014 1:33:06 PM EDT

[#31]

Quote History

Quoted:
And from now on, do what I do - get divorced BEFORE you get married. Cheaper that way.

View Quote

Best advise I EVER heard

Posted: 12/2/2014 2:29:57 PM EDT

[#32]

Quote History

Quoted:

Best advise I EVER heard

View Quote View All Quotes

View All Quotes

Quote History

Quoted:

Quoted:
And from now on, do what I do - get divorced BEFORE you get married. Cheaper that way.

Best advise I EVER heard

Reminds me of a guy I used to work with. Cool ole guy that ran SEAL teams up and down the rivers of VN. He said, "If you ever plan on marrying a girl, just buy her a house and say "hope you live a happy life" and be on your way". "It's cheaper that way"

Posted: 12/2/2014 3:06:12 PM EDT

[#33]

Been there, done that.

I have the "she played the order of protection card" purple heart, and the $80,000 custody bill to prove it.

IF and ONLY IF she has a serious problem (mental health, alcohol, gambling, abuse) AND you can prove it THEN you might come out OK.

You keep you nose spotlessly clean.
You don't argue with her, write to her, NOTHING NEVER no matter what
You beg, plead, borrow money, whatever to get the best damned lawyer you can
You have a new full time job! It's called investigator and recorder! You search the house for every bill, receipt, letter, scrap of evidence you can that shows she is unfit to be a mother. You make a list of bars, casinos, etc she goes to. You keep a record- to the minute- of when the kids are with you and when she dumps them with a babysitter.

WARNING: You are a guy. You screw up one time and you're done. Got it?

Whether there are drugs or alcohol involved I suggest you immediately start attending Al-anon meetings so you learn how to deal with the blows that are coming, so you learn to keep cool, and respond not retaliate. It's something everybody should do anyway.

I say again: you screw up one time and you're done. Defend against her striking you? Go to jail. Scream at her? go to jail. Send offensive email? same. Get the picture?

Posted: 12/2/2014 5:29:19 PM EDT

[#34]

It's been 3 years since my wife and split and it still hurts. Especially this time of the year. I miss my kids. That simple.

But having a sister and brother-in-law who are family law attorneys, I can tell you this, if she is an unfit mother, you do what other's have said and beg, borrow, panhandle, whatever it takes to afford an asshole shark of a lawyer.

Thankfully my ex and I have a great relationship. We get along great as long as we aren't living in the same house. But when it comes to my boys, if we weren't, I'd do whatever it took to make sure my boys are safe and loved.

Lots of friends on this board. Lean on us. We're here when you need us.

Posted: 12/2/2014 6:33:46 PM EDT

[#35]

If it has mammary glands or tires it will give you problems.

Glad to hear things are looking up for you Bro!

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Hello been a while...chaos in my life

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