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Posted: 12/3/2013 11:08:15 AM EDT
[#1]
Quote HistoryTL;DR warning. When I was new 7th-8th grade Comp Lit teacher, circa 1993-1994, we had state testing for all grades. I was known for being able to 'get along with' an emotionally disturbed black student. He was violent, prone to fighting and most of the teachers were afraid of him. Honestly, I was as well. He was 6'2" and weighed 210 ... in 8th grade. This was Cedar Hill Texas, just south of Dallas and gangs and racial problems were ever-present. I was tasked with 'babysitting' him during the testing time. This meant, in addition to proctoring my students during the 4 hour exam, I also had to maintain emotional control over a restless and disturbed young man as well. I was pissed. This was going to put me in a room with an emotionally unbalanced giant while also trying to maintain a testing environment... this was not my job. The day of the exam he was seated by my desk and told to whisper and behave by his 'reguler spec ed teacher', she left. He, quietly, told me the story of how he likes to play "Russian", with a .45. He was adamant that his 'gang' did this all the time. Yes ... Colt 1911, they played 'Russian'... So the kid liked to try and impress me. Luckily, he brought his own snacks. Namely a 2 liter bottle of Orange Crush. He boldly stated to me that he regularly drank the entire thing in one long drink. Being something of a bad influence, I gently scoffed and told him it was impossible (frankly, I thought maybe he could, he was a big guy). We agreed to a wager and set the rules. 1. All in one motion, no setting it down or removing it from his lips. 2. 10 bucks He tipped the bottle up and began drinking. To his credit, he drank about 1/3rd in one long pull. Then began breathing erratically, but, he kept drinking...half...little more...heavy breathing, ...doubt and maybe a little panic sets in. Few more swallows, seriously flaring nostrils, watering eyes... He pulls the bottle down and BOLTS from my room. Flew, never touched the ground, never said a word... GONE! What. The. Fuck? Now what am I supposed to do? a 6' 2" emotionally disturbed kid just ran out of my room, I am not allowed to leave because we are testing for the State? I shrug and go back to my desk. About 5-10 minutes later there is a quiet knock on my door. I open it to find our diminutive 60 yr old female janitor..."Yes?, ma'am?" "Mr. Allen, do you know anything about the trail of orange soda that is sprayed all the way from the Boy's bathroom (60 yds down another hallway), on all the lockers and carpet...that leads all the way to your room?" "Uh, no ma'am..." <innocent look> I was never asked to babysit him again. TRG |
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Posted: 12/3/2013 11:13:49 AM EDT
[#2]
BAHAHAHAHAAHAHA
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Posted: 12/3/2013 11:17:40 AM EDT
[#3]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
TL;DR warning. When I was new 7th-8th grade Comp Lit teacher, circa 1993-1994, we had state testing for all grades. I was known for being able to 'get along with' an emotionally disturbed black student. He was violent, prone to fighting and most of the teachers were afraid of him. Honestly, I was as well. He was 6'2" and weighed 210 ... in 8th grade. This was Cedar Hill Texas, just south of Dallas and gangs and racial problems were ever-present. I was tasked with 'babysitting' him during the testing time. This meant, in addition to proctoring my students during the 4 hour exam, I also had to maintain emotional control over a restless and disturbed young man as well. I was pissed. This was going to put me in a room with an emotionally unbalanced giant while also trying to maintain a testing environment... this was not my job. The day of the exam he was seated by my desk and told to whisper and behave by his 'reguler spec ed teacher', she left. He, quietly, told me the story of how he likes to play "Russian", with a .45. He was adamant that his 'gang' did this all the time. Yes ... Colt 1911, they played 'Russian'... So the kid liked to try and impress me. Luckily, he brought his own snacks. Namely a 2 liter bottle of Orange Crush. He boldly stated to me that he regularly drank the entire thing in one long drink. Being something of a bad influence, I gently scoffed and told him it was impossible (frankly, I thought maybe he could, he was a big guy). We agreed to a wager and set the rules. 1. All in one motion, no setting it down or removing it from his lips. 2. 10 bucks He tipped the bottle up and began drinking. To his credit, he drank about 1/3rd in one long pull. Then began breathing erratically, but, he kept drinking...half...little more...heavy breathing, ...doubt and maybe a little panic sets in. Few more swallows, seriously flaring nostrils, watering eyes... He pulls the bottle down and BOLTS from my room. Flew, never touched the ground, never said a word... GONE! What. The. Fuck? Now what am I supposed to do? a 6' 2" emotionally disturbed kid just ran out of my room, I am not allowed to leave because we are testing for the State? I shrug and go back to my desk. About 5-10 minutes later there is a quiet knock on my door. I open it to find our diminutive 60 yr old female janitor..."Yes?, ma'am?" "Mr. Allen, do you know anything about the trail of orange soda that is sprayed all the way from the Boy's bathroom (60 yds down another hallway), on all the lockers and carpet...that leads all the way to your room?" "Uh, no ma'am..." <innocent look> I was never asked to babysit him again. TRG Quote HistoryQuoted:
TL;DR warning. When I was new 7th-8th grade Comp Lit teacher, circa 1993-1994, we had state testing for all grades. I was known for being able to 'get along with' an emotionally disturbed black student. He was violent, prone to fighting and most of the teachers were afraid of him. Honestly, I was as well. He was 6'2" and weighed 210 ... in 8th grade. This was Cedar Hill Texas, just south of Dallas and gangs and racial problems were ever-present. I was tasked with 'babysitting' him during the testing time. This meant, in addition to proctoring my students during the 4 hour exam, I also had to maintain emotional control over a restless and disturbed young man as well. I was pissed. This was going to put me in a room with an emotionally unbalanced giant while also trying to maintain a testing environment... this was not my job. The day of the exam he was seated by my desk and told to whisper and behave by his 'reguler spec ed teacher', she left. He, quietly, told me the story of how he likes to play "Russian", with a .45. He was adamant that his 'gang' did this all the time. Yes ... Colt 1911, they played 'Russian'... So the kid liked to try and impress me. Luckily, he brought his own snacks. Namely a 2 liter bottle of Orange Crush. He boldly stated to me that he regularly drank the entire thing in one long drink. Being something of a bad influence, I gently scoffed and told him it was impossible (frankly, I thought maybe he could, he was a big guy). We agreed to a wager and set the rules. 1. All in one motion, no setting it down or removing it from his lips. 2. 10 bucks He tipped the bottle up and began drinking. To his credit, he drank about 1/3rd in one long pull. Then began breathing erratically, but, he kept drinking...half...little more...heavy breathing, ...doubt and maybe a little panic sets in. Few more swallows, seriously flaring nostrils, watering eyes... He pulls the bottle down and BOLTS from my room. Flew, never touched the ground, never said a word... GONE! What. The. Fuck? Now what am I supposed to do? a 6' 2" emotionally disturbed kid just ran out of my room, I am not allowed to leave because we are testing for the State? I shrug and go back to my desk. About 5-10 minutes later there is a quiet knock on my door. I open it to find our diminutive 60 yr old female janitor..."Yes?, ma'am?" "Mr. Allen, do you know anything about the trail of orange soda that is sprayed all the way from the Boy's bathroom (60 yds down another hallway), on all the lockers and carpet...that leads all the way to your room?" "Uh, no ma'am..." <innocent look> I was never asked to babysit him again. TRG 
ETA: 
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Posted: 12/3/2013 11:25:57 AM EDT
[#4]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
TL;DR warning. When I was new 7th-8th grade Comp Lit teacher, circa 1993-1994, we had state testing for all grades. I was known for being able to 'get along with' an emotionally disturbed black student. He was violent, prone to fighting and most of the teachers were afraid of him. Honestly, I was as well. He was 6'2" and weighed 210 ... in 8th grade. This was Cedar Hill Texas, just south of Dallas and gangs and racial problems were ever-present. I was tasked with 'babysitting' him during the testing time. This meant, in addition to proctoring my students during the 4 hour exam, I also had to maintain emotional control over a restless and disturbed young man as well. I was pissed. This was going to put me in a room with an emotionally unbalanced giant while also trying to maintain a testing environment... this was not my job. The day of the exam he was seated by my desk and told to whisper and behave by his 'reguler spec ed teacher', she left. He, quietly, told me the story of how he likes to play "Russian", with a .45. He was adamant that his 'gang' did this all the time. Yes ... Colt 1911, they played 'Russian'... So the kid liked to try and impress me. Luckily, he brought his own snacks. Namely a 2 liter bottle of Orange Crush. He boldly stated to me that he regularly drank the entire thing in one long drink. Being something of a bad influence, I gently scoffed and told him it was impossible (frankly, I thought maybe he could, he was a big guy). We agreed to a wager and set the rules. 1. All in one motion, no setting it down or removing it from his lips. 2. 10 bucks He tipped the bottle up and began drinking. To his credit, he drank about 1/3rd in one long pull. Then began breathing erratically, but, he kept drinking...half...little more...heavy breathing, ...doubt and maybe a little panic sets in. Few more swallows, seriously flaring nostrils, watering eyes... He pulls the bottle down and BOLTS from my room. Flew, never touched the ground, never said a word... GONE! What. The. Fuck? Now what am I supposed to do? a 6' 2" emotionally disturbed kid just ran out of my room, I am not allowed to leave because we are testing for the State? I shrug and go back to my desk. About 5-10 minutes later there is a quiet knock on my door. I open it to find our diminutive 60 yr old female janitor..."Yes?, ma'am?" "Mr. Allen, do you know anything about the trail of orange soda that is sprayed all the way from the Boy's bathroom (60 yds down another hallway), on all the lockers and carpet...that leads all the way to your room?" "Uh, no ma'am..." <innocent look> I was never asked to babysit him again. TRG Quote HistoryQuoted:
TL;DR warning. When I was new 7th-8th grade Comp Lit teacher, circa 1993-1994, we had state testing for all grades. I was known for being able to 'get along with' an emotionally disturbed black student. He was violent, prone to fighting and most of the teachers were afraid of him. Honestly, I was as well. He was 6'2" and weighed 210 ... in 8th grade. This was Cedar Hill Texas, just south of Dallas and gangs and racial problems were ever-present. I was tasked with 'babysitting' him during the testing time. This meant, in addition to proctoring my students during the 4 hour exam, I also had to maintain emotional control over a restless and disturbed young man as well. I was pissed. This was going to put me in a room with an emotionally unbalanced giant while also trying to maintain a testing environment... this was not my job. The day of the exam he was seated by my desk and told to whisper and behave by his 'reguler spec ed teacher', she left. He, quietly, told me the story of how he likes to play "Russian", with a .45. He was adamant that his 'gang' did this all the time. Yes ... Colt 1911, they played 'Russian'... So the kid liked to try and impress me. Luckily, he brought his own snacks. Namely a 2 liter bottle of Orange Crush. He boldly stated to me that he regularly drank the entire thing in one long drink. Being something of a bad influence, I gently scoffed and told him it was impossible (frankly, I thought maybe he could, he was a big guy). We agreed to a wager and set the rules. 1. All in one motion, no setting it down or removing it from his lips. 2. 10 bucks He tipped the bottle up and began drinking. To his credit, he drank about 1/3rd in one long pull. Then began breathing erratically, but, he kept drinking...half...little more...heavy breathing, ...doubt and maybe a little panic sets in. Few more swallows, seriously flaring nostrils, watering eyes... He pulls the bottle down and BOLTS from my room. Flew, never touched the ground, never said a word... GONE! What. The. Fuck? Now what am I supposed to do? a 6' 2" emotionally disturbed kid just ran out of my room, I am not allowed to leave because we are testing for the State? I shrug and go back to my desk. About 5-10 minutes later there is a quiet knock on my door. I open it to find our diminutive 60 yr old female janitor..."Yes?, ma'am?" "Mr. Allen, do you know anything about the trail of orange soda that is sprayed all the way from the Boy's bathroom (60 yds down another hallway), on all the lockers and carpet...that leads all the way to your room?" "Uh, no ma'am..." <innocent look> I was never asked to babysit him again. TRG 
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Posted: 12/3/2013 12:31:45 PM EDT
[#5]
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Posted: 12/3/2013 12:38:38 PM EDT
[#6]
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Posted: 12/3/2013 1:05:39 PM EDT
[#7]
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Posted: 12/3/2013 1:32:37 PM EDT
[#8]
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Posted: 12/3/2013 3:13:31 PM EDT
[#9]
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Posted: 12/3/2013 3:15:32 PM EDT
[#10]
Quote HistoryQuote HistoryLMAO Quoted:
<a href="http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/59/pg81.jpg/" target="_blank">http://img59.imageshack.us/img59/2428/pg81.jpg</a> So true. 
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Posted: 12/3/2013 10:19:28 PM EDT
[#11]
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Posted: 12/3/2013 10:58:01 PM EDT
[#12]
Quote Historyhahaha |
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Posted: 12/3/2013 11:05:59 PM EDT
[#13]
Quote HistoryIt is hilarious because it is true. "Triplets...." "Is that REAL?" "As real as the rich tobacco smoke that fills my lungs and brings me that much closer to Death's knowing embrace" |
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Posted: 12/3/2013 11:12:05 PM EDT
[#14]
Quote HistoryOh my fucking god. LMAO.
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Posted: 12/3/2013 11:19:39 PM EDT
[#15]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
It is hilarious because it is true. "Triplets...." "Is that REAL?" "As real as the rich tobacco smoke that fills my lungs and brings me that much closer to Death's knowing embrace" Quote HistoryQuoted:
It is hilarious because it is true. "Triplets...." "Is that REAL?" "As real as the rich tobacco smoke that fills my lungs and brings me that much closer to Death's knowing embrace" Just watched these with my dad. He can confirm that those videos are dramatic reenactments of conversations he's had. 
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Posted: 12/3/2013 11:24:52 PM EDT
[#16]
Quote History |
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Posted: 12/3/2013 11:38:41 PM EDT
[#17]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
hahaha Quote HistoryQuoted:
hahaha
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Posted: 12/4/2013 12:13:16 AM EDT
[#18]
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Posted: 12/4/2013 3:44:24 AM EDT
[#19]
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Posted: 12/4/2013 3:56:45 AM EDT
[#20]
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Posted: 12/4/2013 6:53:37 AM EDT
[#21]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
hahaha
You have no idea. |
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Posted: 12/4/2013 7:50:23 AM EDT
[#22]
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Posted: 12/4/2013 8:00:41 AM EDT
[#23]
Quote HistoryQuoted: gaahhh so hateful but I admit I literally laughed my balls off Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Since Im taking the express to hell anyways. Pause this vid at :23 and mute it.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SS1dO0JC2EE#t=72Then start this vid and then go back and restart the first at :23 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZThquH5t0ow#t=52Thread is now "You laugh, you go to hell." gaahhh so hateful but I admit I literally laughed my balls off Save me a seat..... |
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Posted: 12/4/2013 8:33:24 AM EDT
[#24]
Quote HistoryLost hard. We had a guy who used to work here, we called him Dirty Pete. He brought in baked type stuff often; cakes, cookies and whatnot. One time I was in the breakroom and another coworker came and saw the cupcakes, and started to smash one. He looked at me and saw the horror on my face, and said, "Dirty Pete?". I nodded and out came the cupcake. |
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Posted: 12/4/2013 8:36:58 AM EDT
[#25]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Save me a seat..... Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Since Im taking the express to hell anyways. Pause this vid at :23 and mute it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SS1dO0JC2EE#t=72
Then start this vid and then go back and restart the first at :23 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZThquH5t0ow#t=52
Thread is now "You laugh, you go to hell." gaahhh so hateful but I admit I literally laughed my balls off Save me a seat..... Who is the evil sumbitch who matched those two up? BTW: I'll be joining you guys. I'll bring the marshmallows. |
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Posted: 12/4/2013 9:01:31 AM EDT
[#26]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
You have no idea. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
hahaha
You have no idea. And the award for father of the year goes to... |
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Posted: 12/4/2013 9:10:29 AM EDT
[#27]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Man, I thought that was going to be way too much starter fluid. 
IIRC, you're supposed to take the valve out when you do that to minimize the kaboom potential. I've never done it. I seat tires by putting a strap winch around the circumference and it squashes the beads out far enough to seal. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Man, I thought that was going to be way too much starter fluid.
IIRC, you're supposed to take the valve out when you do that to minimize the kaboom potential. I've never done it. I seat tires by putting a strap winch around the circumference and it squashes the beads out far enough to seal. ^^ This works perfectly. No need to risk issues with starter fluid, and it's not empty when you need it most. |
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Posted: 12/4/2013 9:58:08 AM EDT
[#28]
Quote HistoryThis gif turned me into a mouthbreather for like 10 minutes. |
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Posted: 12/4/2013 10:06:54 AM EDT
[#29]
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Posted: 12/4/2013 10:10:28 AM EDT
[#30]
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Posted: 12/4/2013 10:20:38 AM EDT
[#31]
Dupe for sure, but worthy.
Samsung 85-Inch 4K Ultra HD 120Hz 3D Smart LED TV My wife and I bought this after selling our daughter Amanda into white slavery. We actually got a refurbished. It's missing the remote, but oh well-- for $10K off, I can afford a universal, right? The picture is amazing. I've never seen the world with such clarity. Amanda, if you're reading this, hang in there, honey! We'll see you in a year. ***** I just wanted to add an addendum to my review. Since posting it, we have received a flood of responses. People have said some pretty hurtful things--even questioning our values. Let me assure you, this was not an easy decision to make, and we made it as a family. Obviously, it's very personal. But in light of all the second-guessing, I wanted to explain our thinking. First and foremost, screen size. I really think you can't go too big. 85" may seem huge, but you get used to it fast. Second, resolution. Is 4K overkill? Please, that's what they said about 1080P! More dots = better. Period. And as far as this being a $40,000 "dumb" TV, people need to re-read my initial post: WE BOUGHT IT REFURBISHED. It was only $30,000. Some of you may think I'm avoiding the "elephant in the room"-the real reason why this was such a heart-wrenching choice. So let's just get it out there. Yes, the 120 Hz refresh rate is a disappointment, especially on a 4K. But life is full of compromises. And frankly, we hardly notice. All in all, no regrets. P.S., as for our daughter, NO ONE has the right to question our parenting. Totally out of bounds. Amanda was going into 7th grade, so it was going to be a transitional year anyway. Now she gets to see the world. How many kids her age get to go to Bahrain? I sure as heck didn't, but you don't hear me screaming "child abuse." Bottom line: MYOB! Seriously. ***** Has it been a year already? Wow! I guess that's what 8 hours a day of immersive TV will do for you! Many of you have expressed your eagerness for an update. Well, here goes. Generally, the Samsung has held up beautifully. We have noticed a little bit of lag, mostly in multi-player gaming--but not enough to cost us any firefights. There have been some issues up-imaging low rez content, but that's to be expected when you early-adopt--we're still "waiting on the world to change," as John Mayer would say (gosh he's talented.) On the plus side, we feel like we are now officially part of the cast of GOT. The other night Peg almost had to open a window to let Daenerys' dragons fly out! And you'll all be happy to know our darling Amanda is back with us, safe and sound. She has changed a little. She's less talkative than before (though she had some choice words for me when I asked her to clean her room). And she's started wearing eye make-up, which has Peg a bit concerned. But welcome to thirteen, I guess. We're just glad to have her home. And she loves the TV. That's the main thing. In fact, she spends so much time in front of it lately, you'd swear she owns it. |
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Posted: 12/4/2013 10:25:29 AM EDT
[#32]
Quote HistoryIs it wrong that I feel guilty for laughing my ass off while nodding my head in agreement? 
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Posted: 12/4/2013 10:31:53 AM EDT
[#33]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Who is the evil sumbitch who matched those two up? BTW: I'll be joining you guys. I'll bring the marshmallows. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Since Im taking the express to hell anyways. Pause this vid at :23 and mute it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SS1dO0JC2EE#t=72 Then start this vid and then go back and restart the first at :23 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZThquH5t0ow#t=52 Thread is now "You laugh, you go to hell." gaahhh so hateful but I admit I literally laughed my balls off Save me a seat..... Who is the evil sumbitch who matched those two up? BTW: I'll be joining you guys. I'll bring the marshmallows. With enough of us we could probably take over. People think hell is scary now? Poop jokes all day long over the intercom. An actual wall of dicks you have to climb to look at naked women. The naked women are Janet Reno and Fienstine. You only have AK's (Alaska guy)food to eat or Stromsbumerg or whatever that shit is called. Subnet gets high and passes out with his favorite Wham record.......And its skipping.......Forever. Everyone gets a car, but they all have flats and we cant get the lugnuts off. Chilli is all beans. Blue waffle for breakfast. No one shaves or showers in 130* heat and they all either push strollers or ride a Jazzy scooter. The Horror, The horror. |
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Posted: 12/4/2013 10:57:26 AM EDT
[#34]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Who is the evil sumbitch who matched those two up? BTW: I'll be joining you guys. I'll bring the marshmallows. With enough of us we could probably take over. People think hell is scary now? Poop jokes all day long over the intercom. An actual wall of dicks you have to climb to look at naked women. The naked women are Janet Reno and Fienstine. You only have AK's (Alaska guy)food to eat or Stromsbumerg or whatever that shit is called. Subnet gets high and passes out with his favorite Wham record.......And its skipping.......Forever. Everyone gets a car, but they all have flats and we cant get the lugnuts off. Chilli is all beans. Blue waffle for breakfast. No one shaves or showers in 130* heat and they all either push strollers or ride a Jazzy scooter. The Horror, The horror. Much like Groundhog Day, it's always April, 2013. |
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Posted: 12/4/2013 11:08:38 AM EDT
[#35]
Batman can't stop thinking about sex. It's worth the watch.
"it was an all you can fuck buffet."
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Posted: 12/4/2013 11:36:59 AM EDT
[#36]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
TL;DR warning. When I was new 7th-8th grade Comp Lit teacher, circa 1993-1994, we had state testing for all grades. I was known for being able to 'get along **snip** "Mr. Allen, do you know anything about the trail of orange soda that is sprayed all the way from the Boy's bathroom (60 yds down another hallway), on all the lockers and carpet...that leads all the way to your room?" "Uh, no ma'am..." <innocent look> I was never asked to babysit him again. TRG Quote HistoryQuoted:
TL;DR warning. When I was new 7th-8th grade Comp Lit teacher, circa 1993-1994, we had state testing for all grades. I was known for being able to 'get along **snip** "Mr. Allen, do you know anything about the trail of orange soda that is sprayed all the way from the Boy's bathroom (60 yds down another hallway), on all the lockers and carpet...that leads all the way to your room?" "Uh, no ma'am..." <innocent look> I was never asked to babysit him again. TRG You rost and STILL didn't laff. You rooser. |
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Posted: 12/4/2013 11:40:56 AM EDT
[#37]
Quote HistoryQuoted: TL;DR warning. When I was new 7th-8th grade Comp Lit teacher, circa 1993-1994, we had state testing for all grades. I was known for being able to 'get along with' an emotionally disturbed black student. He was violent, prone to fighting and most of the teachers were afraid of him. Honestly, I was as well. He was 6'2" and weighed 210 ... in 8th grade. This was Cedar Hill Texas, just south of Dallas and gangs and racial problems were ever-present. I was tasked with 'babysitting' him during the testing time. This meant, in addition to proctoring my students during the 4 hour exam, I also had to maintain emotional control over a restless and disturbed young man as well. I was pissed. This was going to put me in a room with an emotionally unbalanced giant while also trying to maintain a testing environment... this was not my job. The day of the exam he was seated by my desk and told to whisper and behave by his 'reguler spec ed teacher', she left. He, quietly, told me the story of how he likes to play "Russian", with a .45. He was adamant that his 'gang' did this all the time. Yes ... Colt 1911, they played 'Russian'... So the kid liked to try and impress me. Luckily, he brought his own snacks. Namely a 2 liter bottle of Orange Crush. He boldly stated to me that he regularly drank the entire thing in one long drink. Being something of a bad influence, I gently scoffed and told him it was impossible (frankly, I thought maybe he could, he was a big guy). We agreed to a wager and set the rules. 1. All in one motion, no setting it down or removing it from his lips. 2. 10 bucks He tipped the bottle up and began drinking. To his credit, he drank about 1/3rd in one long pull. Then began breathing erratically, but, he kept drinking...half...little more...heavy breathing, ...doubt and maybe a little panic sets in. Few more swallows, seriously flaring nostrils, watering eyes... He pulls the bottle down and BOLTS from my room. Flew, never touched the ground, never said a word... GONE! What. The. Fuck? Now what am I supposed to do? a 6' 2" emotionally disturbed kid just ran out of my room, I am not allowed to leave because we are testing for the State? I shrug and go back to my desk. About 5-10 minutes later there is a quiet knock on my door. I open it to find our diminutive 60 yr old female janitor..."Yes?, ma'am?" "Mr. Allen, do you know anything about the trail of orange soda that is sprayed all the way from the Boy's bathroom (60 yds down another hallway), on all the lockers and carpet...that leads all the way to your room?" "Uh, no ma'am..." <innocent look> I was never asked to babysit him again. TRG Quote HistoryQuoted: TL;DR warning. When I was new 7th-8th grade Comp Lit teacher, circa 1993-1994, we had state testing for all grades. I was known for being able to 'get along with' an emotionally disturbed black student. He was violent, prone to fighting and most of the teachers were afraid of him. Honestly, I was as well. He was 6'2" and weighed 210 ... in 8th grade. This was Cedar Hill Texas, just south of Dallas and gangs and racial problems were ever-present. I was tasked with 'babysitting' him during the testing time. This meant, in addition to proctoring my students during the 4 hour exam, I also had to maintain emotional control over a restless and disturbed young man as well. I was pissed. This was going to put me in a room with an emotionally unbalanced giant while also trying to maintain a testing environment... this was not my job. The day of the exam he was seated by my desk and told to whisper and behave by his 'reguler spec ed teacher', she left. He, quietly, told me the story of how he likes to play "Russian", with a .45. He was adamant that his 'gang' did this all the time. Yes ... Colt 1911, they played 'Russian'... So the kid liked to try and impress me. Luckily, he brought his own snacks. Namely a 2 liter bottle of Orange Crush. He boldly stated to me that he regularly drank the entire thing in one long drink. Being something of a bad influence, I gently scoffed and told him it was impossible (frankly, I thought maybe he could, he was a big guy). We agreed to a wager and set the rules. 1. All in one motion, no setting it down or removing it from his lips. 2. 10 bucks He tipped the bottle up and began drinking. To his credit, he drank about 1/3rd in one long pull. Then began breathing erratically, but, he kept drinking...half...little more...heavy breathing, ...doubt and maybe a little panic sets in. Few more swallows, seriously flaring nostrils, watering eyes... He pulls the bottle down and BOLTS from my room. Flew, never touched the ground, never said a word... GONE! What. The. Fuck? Now what am I supposed to do? a 6' 2" emotionally disturbed kid just ran out of my room, I am not allowed to leave because we are testing for the State? I shrug and go back to my desk. About 5-10 minutes later there is a quiet knock on my door. I open it to find our diminutive 60 yr old female janitor..."Yes?, ma'am?" "Mr. Allen, do you know anything about the trail of orange soda that is sprayed all the way from the Boy's bathroom (60 yds down another hallway), on all the lockers and carpet...that leads all the way to your room?" "Uh, no ma'am..." <innocent look> I was never asked to babysit him again. TRG You're a teacher? |
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Posted: 12/4/2013 11:43:24 AM EDT
[#38]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Lost hard. We had a guy who used to work here, we called him Dirty Pete. He brought in baked type stuff often; cakes, cookies and whatnot. One time I was in the breakroom and another coworker came and saw the cupcakes, and started to smash one. He looked at me and saw the horror on my face, and said, "Dirty Pete?". I nodded and out came the cupcake. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Lost hard. We had a guy who used to work here, we called him Dirty Pete. He brought in baked type stuff often; cakes, cookies and whatnot. One time I was in the breakroom and another coworker came and saw the cupcakes, and started to smash one. He looked at me and saw the horror on my face, and said, "Dirty Pete?". I nodded and out came the cupcake. At first I thought Snotty Ron was THIS GUY: |
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Posted: 12/4/2013 11:48:44 AM EDT
[#39]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
With enough of us we could probably take over. People think hell is scary now? Poop jokes all day long over the intercom. An actual wall of dicks you have to climb to look at naked women. The naked women are Janet Reno and Fienstine. You only have AK's (Alaska guy)food to eat or Stromsbumerg or whatever that shit is called.
Subnet gets high and passes out with his favorite Wham record.......And its skipping.......Forever. Everyone gets a car, but they all have flats and we cant get the lugnuts off. Chilli is all beans. Blue waffle for breakfast. No one shaves or showers in 130* heat and they all either push strollers or ride a Jazzy scooter. The Horror, The horror. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Since Im taking the express to hell anyways. Pause this vid at :23 and mute it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SS1dO0JC2EE#t=72 Then start this vid and then go back and restart the first at :23 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZThquH5t0ow#t=52 Thread is now "You laugh, you go to hell." gaahhh so hateful but I admit I literally laughed my balls off Save me a seat..... Who is the evil sumbitch who matched those two up? BTW: I'll be joining you guys. I'll bring the marshmallows. With enough of us we could probably take over. People think hell is scary now? Poop jokes all day long over the intercom. An actual wall of dicks you have to climb to look at naked women. The naked women are Janet Reno and Fienstine. You only have AK's (Alaska guy)food to eat or Stromsbumerg or whatever that shit is called.
Subnet gets high and passes out with his favorite Wham record.......And its skipping.......Forever. Everyone gets a car, but they all have flats and we cant get the lugnuts off. Chilli is all beans. Blue waffle for breakfast. No one shaves or showers in 130* heat and they all either push strollers or ride a Jazzy scooter. The Horror, The horror. And anybody who complains gets assigned a job, 24/7, for a hundred years... at WalMart... as a door greeter... in Compton. |
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Posted: 12/4/2013 12:03:53 PM EDT
[#40]
Quote HistoryHouston Cop, wonder if he got in trouble for that vid? |
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Posted: 12/4/2013 12:05:30 PM EDT
[#41]
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Posted: 12/4/2013 12:05:50 PM EDT
[#42]
Quote HistoryQuoted: You're a teacher? Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: TL;DR warning. When I was new 7th-8th grade Comp Lit teacher, circa 1993-1994, we had state testing for all grades. I was known for being able to 'get along with' an emotionally disturbed black student. He was violent, prone to fighting and most of the teachers were afraid of him. Honestly, I was as well. He was 6'2" and weighed 210 ... in 8th grade. This was Cedar Hill Texas, just south of Dallas and gangs and racial problems were ever-present. I was tasked with 'babysitting' him during the testing time. This meant, in addition to proctoring my students during the 4 hour exam, I also had to maintain emotional control over a restless and disturbed young man as well. I was pissed. This was going to put me in a room with an emotionally unbalanced giant while also trying to maintain a testing environment... this was not my job. The day of the exam he was seated by my desk and told to whisper and behave by his 'reguler spec ed teacher', she left. He, quietly, told me the story of how he likes to play "Russian", with a .45. He was adamant that his 'gang' did this all the time. Yes ... Colt 1911, they played 'Russian'... So the kid liked to try and impress me. Luckily, he brought his own snacks. Namely a 2 liter bottle of Orange Crush. He boldly stated to me that he regularly drank the entire thing in one long drink. Being something of a bad influence, I gently scoffed and told him it was impossible (frankly, I thought maybe he could, he was a big guy). We agreed to a wager and set the rules. 1. All in one motion, no setting it down or removing it from his lips. 2. 10 bucks He tipped the bottle up and began drinking. To his credit, he drank about 1/3rd in one long pull. Then began breathing erratically, but, he kept drinking...half...little more...heavy breathing, ...doubt and maybe a little panic sets in. Few more swallows, seriously flaring nostrils, watering eyes... He pulls the bottle down and BOLTS from my room. Flew, never touched the ground, never said a word... GONE! What. The. Fuck? Now what am I supposed to do? a 6' 2" emotionally disturbed kid just ran out of my room, I am not allowed to leave because we are testing for the State? I shrug and go back to my desk. About 5-10 minutes later there is a quiet knock on my door. I open it to find our diminutive 60 yr old female janitor..."Yes?, ma'am?" "Mr. Allen, do you know anything about the trail of orange soda that is sprayed all the way from the Boy's bathroom (60 yds down another hallway), on all the lockers and carpet...that leads all the way to your room?" "Uh, no ma'am..." <innocent look> I was never asked to babysit him again. TRG You're a teacher? Only the most epic teacher evar111 I had a teacher like that in HS. It's how I got the nickname kamikaze. |
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Posted: 12/4/2013 12:11:53 PM EDT
[#43]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Only the most epic teacher evar111 I had a teacher like that in HS. It's how I got the nickname kamikaze. Going down in flames or going down, flaming?
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Posted: 12/4/2013 12:12:50 PM EDT
[#44]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Save me a seat..... Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Since Im taking the express to hell anyways. Pause this vid at :23 and mute it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SS1dO0JC2EE#t=72
Then start this vid and then go back and restart the first at :23 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZThquH5t0ow#t=52
Thread is now "You laugh, you go to hell." gaahhh so hateful but I admit I literally laughed my balls off Save me a seat..... There still room?
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Posted: 12/4/2013 12:18:20 PM EDT
[#45]
Typical thanksgiving... eat breakfast then head out to the front to shoot our bows. |
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Posted: 12/4/2013 12:47:05 PM EDT
[#46]
Quote HistoryQuoted: http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3792/11120089195_864379cc41_c.jpg Typical thanksgiving... eat breakfast then head out to the front to shoot our bows. What is the joke?
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Posted: 12/4/2013 1:06:28 PM EDT
[#47]
Quote HistoryThat guy lives like two blocks from me. I think I've seen that car... |
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Posted: 12/4/2013 1:23:20 PM EDT
[#48]
Quote HistoryOMG I ROFLED so hard I did a virbie, but in my pantalones. BRB... |
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Posted: 12/4/2013 1:53:16 PM EDT
[#49]
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Posted: 12/4/2013 2:06:22 PM EDT
[#50]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Oh my fucking god. LMAO. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Oh my fucking god. LMAO. Literally dying over here. |
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