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Posted: 9/12/2007 9:56:30 AM EDT
[#1]
Is that what she said to you? |
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Posted: 9/12/2007 9:56:49 AM EDT
[#2]
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Posted: 9/12/2007 9:58:04 AM EDT
[#3]
Yeah, my reply was "it's a cock, small, but it tries hard...kind of like Rudy" |
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Posted: 9/12/2007 9:58:10 AM EDT
[#4]
Next time lets leave out the goose..
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Posted: 9/12/2007 9:58:37 AM EDT
[#5]
Baaaaaaaa
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Posted: 9/12/2007 9:59:34 AM EDT
[#6]
"That's a rap!"
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Posted: 9/12/2007 9:59:34 AM EDT
[#7]
"I've never done this before"
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Posted: 9/12/2007 9:59:40 AM EDT
[#8]
Echo in the bathroom last time you were jerking off? |
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Posted: 9/12/2007 9:59:57 AM EDT
[#9]
"Pick your bollocks up, you're flicking sand in my arse"
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Posted: 9/12/2007 10:00:28 AM EDT
[#10]
Wasn't I supposed to feel something?
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Posted: 9/12/2007 10:01:11 AM EDT
[#11]
Damn busted.. 
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Posted: 9/12/2007 10:01:15 AM EDT
[#12]
Girl: Oooo talk dirty to me!
Me: You're a bad little girl, aren't you? Girl: Mmmhmmm...dirtier! Me: Yea, you're a little slut, who's your daddy? Girl: Oh, yes I'm daddy's little suckslut. Didn't bother me during, but after the fact, it really made me go 
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Posted: 9/12/2007 10:02:26 AM EDT
[#13]
Not sure....... I don't speak spanish
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Posted: 9/12/2007 10:02:40 AM EDT
[#14]
Had a chick yell to me "Punch me in the face!"
I lost wood after that. |
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Posted: 9/12/2007 10:02:51 AM EDT
[#15]
Classic example of "baggage" 
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Posted: 9/12/2007 10:04:13 AM EDT
[#16]
Pee on my chest
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Posted: 9/12/2007 10:05:25 AM EDT
[#17]
Girl: Oh yea...ride me like a pony....
Me: Just call me Zoro 
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Posted: 9/12/2007 10:06:07 AM EDT
[#18]
tag, if this is anything like the worst sex experience . . . . it will be good!
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Posted: 9/12/2007 10:06:26 AM EDT
[#19]
My wife tends to swear when she's having an orgasm.
Not surprising to me, but I'm sure there are many people in our LDS ward who would be shocked at what she says sometimes... 
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Posted: 9/12/2007 10:07:31 AM EDT
[#20]
Me: oooooo...you suck good....where'd you learn how to do that girl?
Her: My brothers and cousins |
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Posted: 9/12/2007 10:07:32 AM EDT
[#21]
had a chick tell me to "choke the fucking shit out of me" just as she was going to orgasm.....
little odd but.... uhhh..... whatever floats your boat darlin 
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Posted: 9/12/2007 10:07:40 AM EDT
[#22]
after you punched her? |
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Posted: 9/12/2007 10:08:54 AM EDT
[#23]
"I can't see. Open the car door".
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Posted: 9/12/2007 10:11:24 AM EDT
[#24]
Having a girl ask you to choke them during the act is not that strange. I know more than a couple girls who like that. Its all about the continum of force - from hand around the throat to full on black out. |
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Posted: 9/12/2007 10:11:40 AM EDT
[#25]
This chick I was with, she had a vag that looked like a blowed out truck tire, got up to walk down to the bathroom, it sounded like an big rig jack brake...BRRRRRRRRRAAPPP
I was like  , and it was not farts.
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Posted: 9/12/2007 10:12:31 AM EDT
[#26]
Husband: "Honey, I brought you home a present."
Wife: "What is it?" Husband: "It's a goat." Wife: "A goat? Where are we going to put him?" Husband: "I thought we could keep him under our bed." Wife: "What are we going to do about the smell?" Husband: "I guess he'll have to get used to it just like I did!" |
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Posted: 9/12/2007 10:12:41 AM EDT
[#27]
She said - "TAG!"
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Posted: 9/12/2007 10:12:52 AM EDT
[#28]
The rest of them would be secretly relieved to find out that they're not the only one who does that. 
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Posted: 9/12/2007 10:13:05 AM EDT
[#29]
Oh, man that sucks.
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Posted: 9/12/2007 10:13:07 AM EDT
[#30]
"Do I know you?"
Me = "does it matter now?" |
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Posted: 9/12/2007 10:13:41 AM EDT
[#31]
Mine wasn't really a statement. Back in high school.... more like a "PPPPBBBBBBBRRRRTTTTTT" sound that came out of her ass while she was having an orgasm.
Bad gas I guess. |
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Posted: 9/12/2007 10:17:22 AM EDT
[#32]
A friend of mine fucked one of the hottest girls in school back when we were in highschool. We'll turns out she lost bowl control during a orgasm... pooped all over him. he sad he just keep going though
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Posted: 9/12/2007 10:17:35 AM EDT
[#33]
this is not a tag
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Posted: 9/12/2007 10:18:21 AM EDT
[#34]
Aiyee, aiyee, aiyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, then ,you can pull my hair if you want to, then, she starts crying, for joy.Man, i love banging latinas.
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Posted: 9/12/2007 10:19:08 AM EDT
[#35]
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Posted: 9/12/2007 10:19:31 AM EDT
[#36]
hoyy shit4!!!! i cant type osdasdo; lol@!!!!!! oh my God. |
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Posted: 9/12/2007 10:21:08 AM EDT
[#37]
"I'm going to be fifteen soon. That was the greatest birthday present!"
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Posted: 9/12/2007 10:21:21 AM EDT
[#38]
Back in H.S. Girlfriend and I were going after it in the back seat. Cops drove up and got me out of the Car (They were very polite.. but so was I) questioned us both separately to make sure everything was on the up and up.. The funny part is (Its funny now) I was standing in a fire ant bed. They started bitting me.. I started jumping and slapping my legs. The cops laughed there asses off. You know they had a great time sharing that with there buddies.
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Posted: 9/12/2007 10:21:26 AM EDT
[#39]
Had a girl that would always say "golly geeze" I don't know what the hell it meant but I'd hear it at least 5 times per session. I'd lose a little wood each time, but then when they start saying harder, harder, it comes back.
Had one that said it wouldn't fit. Almost literally wouldn't. I'm no horse, but above average and I ripped her up pretty good. One that told me as soon as I stuck it in that she'd fk'd a huge black dude a few days ago so she might be a little loose. She must have fk'd a horse or just given birth cause there was no friction. |
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Posted: 9/12/2007 10:24:10 AM EDT
[#40]
I as banging a chick in Jump school at the PLF pit and she says:
"No! No! Stop It!!!!" <slap> <stops, climbs off> Why did you stop? I like to be forced."another time: "Chew on my nipples. Harder! Just don't bite them off!" |
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Posted: 9/12/2007 10:26:17 AM EDT
[#41]
"So, are you guys all on the same team?"
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Posted: 9/12/2007 10:27:26 AM EDT
[#42]
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Posted: 9/12/2007 10:28:05 AM EDT
[#43]
Sorry 'bout that patnah..next time you can go first. |
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Posted: 9/12/2007 10:32:02 AM EDT
[#44]
NEXT!
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Posted: 9/12/2007 10:32:40 AM EDT
[#45]
This is going to be interesting.
-K |
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Posted: 9/12/2007 10:32:41 AM EDT
[#46]
Me: Oh my god... your dog is licking my ass
Her: Please don't stop, just tell your friends you had a threesome |
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Posted: 9/12/2007 10:35:16 AM EDT
[#47]
Statute of limitations is great! Same story, "I'm only fifteen". You are torn between wondering if you enjoyed it or if you are a criminal. Since I was .mil, I would have been fooked. I took my phone number off her sister's refrigerator and hit the road. FWIW: they both told a good story and the same lie about her age......sluts! That chick could suck the white off a cue ball! I was bagging a chick in open air on a blanket at night. I guess that the coyote that was in the brush was a very bad sound. I kept going until some headlights came around the bend. Never got the happy ending...........
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Posted: 9/12/2007 10:37:40 AM EDT
[#48]
the following doesn't really meet FSUChris' criteria but it is funny and does pertain to sex.
In my former life I had the acquaintance of a couple, Peanut and Darla. They lived in a state of perpetual marital strife. Much screaming, cursing and insults, no matter who was present. Here is a gem. Darla- "Peanut get your needledick having ass out of my house" Peanut- "If you didn't have a cow pussy my dick wouldn't feel like a needle, I am going to find some new pussy" Darla- "If you had 2 inches more dick you could find some new pussy right here." |
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Posted: 9/12/2007 10:37:40 AM EDT
[#49]
Was that during or after?
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Posted: 9/12/2007 10:38:27 AM EDT
[#50]
Even further proving the point that men only have enough blood for one 'head' to operate at a time.
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