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Posted: 12/19/2005 10:26:42 AM EDT
That you can't shoot through a loaf of bread???
 WTF kind of shit is that? This was qualification with the state's private protective service board. Is there something I don't know about bread? Is white bread more bullet resistant than wheat? Please tell me this "profeshunal" instructor is a dumb ass and that I can stop wearing my bread vest.
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Posted: 12/19/2005 10:28:47 AM EDT
[#1]
uh oh, this may be IBTL material...
ETA: not sure though, depends I guess. |
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Posted: 12/19/2005 10:29:10 AM EDT
[#2]
I think loaves of bread are being used as Humvee armor in "Teh Suck". |
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Posted: 12/19/2005 10:29:34 AM EDT
[#3]
Yep he mentioned "IT"
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Posted: 12/19/2005 10:29:39 AM EDT
[#4]
That's why Wonderbread closed so easily, they knew that no employees would go on a shooting rampage with any success!
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Posted: 12/19/2005 10:29:39 AM EDT
[#5]
Conduct your own tests. Invite him.
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Posted: 12/19/2005 10:29:50 AM EDT
[#6]
You think? I am serious, this is a legitimate quote. |
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Posted: 12/19/2005 10:30:41 AM EDT
[#7]
I know you're serious but there are some no-no thread topics, like poop, and bread. |
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Posted: 12/19/2005 10:31:22 AM EDT
[#8]
Forgot to add, I believe he was talking about a hollow points.
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Posted: 12/19/2005 10:32:17 AM EDT
[#9]
Loaf of Truth!
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Posted: 12/19/2005 10:32:35 AM EDT
[#10]
cool
<---- runs out to grocery to get loaves of bread to make me some body armor! |
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Posted: 12/19/2005 10:33:13 AM EDT
[#11]
Box-O-Truth?
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Posted: 12/19/2005 10:34:48 AM EDT
[#12]
Tactical bread?
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Posted: 12/19/2005 10:35:14 AM EDT
[#13]
My CCW instructor told us his down filled blanket would stop some rounds . Of corse his J. Wayne impressions really sucked too.
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Posted: 12/19/2005 10:36:47 AM EDT
[#14]
The instructor is 100% correct.
A bullet...even something big like 20mm or 50 BMG will not shoot through a simple loaf of plain white bread. If that loaf is about 200 yards long, and 20 yards wide. |
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Posted: 12/19/2005 10:37:55 AM EDT
[#15]
Fixed. |
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Posted: 12/19/2005 10:38:35 AM EDT
[#16]
And is buttered with steel. |
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Posted: 12/19/2005 10:40:08 AM EDT
[#17]
Oh yeah, you didn't know that? The only reason .gov doesn't use it on the Abrams is that the flock of birds it attracts generates a kiddie pool worth of bird poop an hour...
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Posted: 12/19/2005 10:42:30 AM EDT
[#18]
IBTL, and the instructor is FOS.
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Posted: 12/19/2005 10:44:29 AM EDT
[#19]
And now you can bake your own body armor.
White, wheat, or rye. |
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Posted: 12/19/2005 10:50:14 AM EDT
[#20]
I always mix webbing in with the dough. It makes it really easy to attach to the molle on my tactical vests. |
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Posted: 12/19/2005 10:53:43 AM EDT
[#22]
You can't shoot thru one of my home made biscuits. In fact, you could shoot one of my biscuits. Gotta be AP.
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Posted: 12/19/2005 10:54:28 AM EDT
[#23]
...and to think the .gov has been throwing away so much tax money to up-armor our troops and vehicles when they could have just bought bread... you "instructor" may be retarded. |
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Posted: 12/19/2005 10:54:55 AM EDT
[#24]
Banana Nut or Pumpkin? Does Fruitcake qualify as bread?
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Posted: 12/19/2005 10:56:01 AM EDT
[#25]
Dude a little know fact.. the ballistic skirting on the Abrams is in fact filled with a doughy bread substance. There is also panels in the turret that are filled too. Fat_McNasty 45E 87-91 |
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Posted: 12/19/2005 10:58:37 AM EDT
[#26]
Fruitcake is a WMD and should be banned acordingly. Once Sadaam's Secret Fruitcake Bunker is found in Iraq.... 
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Posted: 12/19/2005 10:59:31 AM EDT
[#27]
I think he may making a referene
to your friends shooting abilities... or lack there of... LOL 
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Posted: 12/19/2005 11:05:04 AM EDT
[#28]
Is it hardtack?
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Posted: 12/19/2005 11:06:41 AM EDT
[#29]
Now make a vest where you just add loaves of bread to the pockets instead of trauma plates and make a fortune!!!
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Posted: 12/19/2005 11:07:39 AM EDT
[#30]
And in a survival situation you can eat it.
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Posted: 12/19/2005 11:07:58 AM EDT
[#31]
What if the bullet is made from a depleated Martha White Biscuit?
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Posted: 12/19/2005 11:10:28 AM EDT
[#32]
So that was the info Rebel_Grey was trying to give to the jihadists! 
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Posted: 12/19/2005 11:12:20 AM EDT
[#33]
BINGO! And beleve it or not.. At the time I was in you had to have a secret clearence to work on the system.. |
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Posted: 12/19/2005 11:14:01 AM EDT
[#34]
9mm vs .45 argument in favor of the grand ol' ACP. Yep it's a known fact amongst HSLD types that the fat slow moving 45 penetrates better through the shelves of bread delivery trucks used by terrorists. -yj 
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Posted: 12/19/2005 11:15:22 AM EDT
[#35]
Don't forget, you can always bake a handgun or extra mags into a loaf. Conceals really well.
Nobody would ever suspect anything if they saw you with your tactical bread attached to your tactical vest and you started digging into a loaf for your gun. They would just think you're hungry. |
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Posted: 12/19/2005 11:16:24 AM EDT
[#36]
I am Copyrighting it right now...
The new BP ammunition. BP=Bread Peircing. (For Law enforcement only though.) |
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Posted: 12/19/2005 11:20:54 AM EDT
[#37]
What about toast? Can you shoot through toast?
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Posted: 12/19/2005 11:21:59 AM EDT
[#38]
Have him go down range and hold it for a target...
right in front of his ass. Because that's what he's talking out of and that hole needs to be closed permanently .
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Posted: 12/19/2005 11:23:39 AM EDT
[#39]
Bread has divine and magically properties that prevent penetration by weapons.
This is why they are alwasy "breaking bread" in the Bible because it is well known a knife won't penetrate it. |
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Posted: 12/19/2005 11:28:44 AM EDT
[#40]
Not so top secret my friend. Little known fact, but Hasbro is owned by Mattel, and as we all know Mattel did the original machining for the Colt M16 recievers. Hasbro has the Easy Bake Oven. Rumor has it the military just shipped 1000 Easy Bake ovens to Iraq. Coincidence? I think not. |
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Posted: 12/19/2005 11:29:07 AM EDT
[#41]
WTF? We can't talk about poop? Is that everything poop related, or just poop itself? Like, if I said "I pooped today." would be okay, but if I said "My poop today was brown and smelled very bad" would not be okay? How about discussing various aspects of pooping? Like, being regular versus constipated versus diareaha? (some people think it funny...) I think I might have to speak with a moderator about this. I don't remember reading anything about a poop prohabition. poop. It's really a pretty funny word if you say it over and over. Poop. Poop. Poop. Poop. Poop. 
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Posted: 12/19/2005 11:31:26 AM EDT
[#42]
Dude a little know fact.. the ballistic skirting on the Abrams is in fact filled with a doughy bread substance. There is also panels in the turret that are filled too. Fat_McNasty 45E 87-91 Hmmm...so maybe it's sour dough starter? Then when it's ready, take it from the M1 and bake some body armour. You know, that stuff will keep right on going as long as you feed it every so often with flour, sugar and some potato flakes...build all the armour you need, just don't forget to feed your starter! |
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Posted: 12/19/2005 11:31:52 AM EDT
[#43]
Gee, guys, thanks for giving away the secret recipe for our latest version of battle armor. Now we're going to be facing car bombers running through checkpoints, loaves of bullet proof bread covering the sheetmetal.
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Posted: 12/19/2005 11:33:12 AM EDT
[#44]
Pop'n Fresh
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Posted: 12/19/2005 11:35:29 AM EDT
[#45]
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Posted: 12/19/2005 11:35:57 AM EDT
[#46]
And it will pass through airport security unnoticed. |
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Posted: 12/19/2005 11:38:51 AM EDT
[#47]
I hear all you guys talking shit. But does anyone here have any real first hand knowledge of this subject? Who here has actually shot a loaf of bread and seen the bullet completely penetrate it? Did you use both Wonder bread and thick bakery bread? Well? Lets not just talk out of our asses. This guy is professional enough to shoot bread. Unless you've been there and done that STFU!
BTW this post is meant to be sarcastic. Sometimes people don't get my humor. |
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Posted: 12/19/2005 11:39:00 AM EDT
[#48]
At least until they start training TSA agents in tactical bread awareness. It's only a matter of time... |
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Posted: 12/19/2005 11:42:17 AM EDT
[#49]
Wait a second, did he say you can't shoot through a loaf of bread, or that a bullet wouldn't go through? Maybe he just likes bread and thinks nobody should shoot it.
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Posted: 12/19/2005 11:44:58 AM EDT
[#50]
Only if you use Iron Kids Bread.
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