I found this hilarious, I hope many of you do as well.  (and I also hope this is not a dupe).  

It will also most likely anger some of you, which is beyond my control.  (But probably not beyond the control of the flying spaghetti monster.)

www.venganza.org/

OPEN LETTER TO KANSAS SCHOOL BOARD

I am writing you with much concern after having read of your hearing to decide whether the alternative theory of Intelligent Design should be taught along with the theory of Evolution. I think we can all agree that it is important for students to hear multiple viewpoints so they can choose for themselves the theory that makes the most sense to them. I am concerned, however, that students will only hear one theory of Intelligent Design.

Let us remember that there are multiple theories of Intelligent Design. I and many others around the world are of the strong belief that the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster. It was He who created all that we see and all that we feel. We feel strongly that the overwhelming scientific evidence pointing towards evolutionary processes is nothing but a coincidence, put in place by Him.

It is for this reason that I’m writing you today, to formally request that this alternative theory be taught in your schools, along with the other two theories. In fact, I will go so far as to say, if you do not agree to do this, we will be forced to proceed with legal action. I’m sure you see where we are coming from. If the Intelligent Design theory is not based on faith, but instead another scientific theory, as is claimed, then you must also allow our theory to be taught, as it is also based on science, not on faith.

Some find that hard to believe, so it may be helpful to tell you a little more about our beliefs. We have evidence that a Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe. None of us, of course, were around to see it, but we have written accounts of it. We have several lengthy volumes explaining all details of His power. Also, you may be surprised to hear that there are over 10 million of us, and growing. We tend to be very secretive, as many people claim our beliefs are not substantiated by observable evidence. What these people don’t understand is that He built the world to make us think the earth is older than it really is. For example, a scientist may perform a carbon-dating process on an artifact. He finds that approximately 75% of the Carbon-14 has decayed by electron emission to Nitrogen-14, and infers that this artifact is approximately 10,000 years old, as the half-life of Carbon-14 appears to be 5,730 years. But what our scientist does not realize is that every time he makes a measurement, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is there changing the results with His Noodly Appendage. We have numerous texts that describe in detail how this can be possible and the reasons why He does this. He is of course invisible and can pass through normal matter with ease.

I’m sure you now realize how important it is that your students are taught this alternate theory. It is absolutely imperative that they realize that observable evidence is at the discretion of a Flying Spaghetti Monster. Furthermore, it is disrespectful to teach our beliefs without wearing His chosen outfit, which of course is full pirate regalia. I cannot stress the importance of this enough, and unfortunately cannot describe in detail why this must be done as I fear this letter is already becoming too long. The concise explanation is that He becomes angry if we don’t.

You may be interested to know that global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of Pirates since the 1800s. For your interest, I have included a graph of the approximate number of pirates versus the average global temperature over the last 200 years. As you can see, there is a statistically significant inverse relationship between pirates and global temperature.





In conclusion, thank you for taking the time to hear our views and beliefs. I hope I was able to convey the importance of teaching this theory to your students. We will of course be able to train the teachers in this alternate theory. I am eagerly awaiting your response, and hope dearly that no legal action will need to be taken. I think we can all look forward to the time when these three theories are given equal time in our science classrooms across the country, and eventually the world; One third time for Intelligent Design, one third time for Flying Spaghetti Monsterism, and one third time for logical conjecture based on overwhelming observable evidence.
 
Sincerely Yours,

Bobby Henderson, concerned citizen.

P.S. I have included an artistic drawing of Him creating a mountain, trees, and a midget. Remember, we are all His creatures.






edit: if you go to the site they have the reply letters from the school board as well      apparently it was some much needed comic relief

Quoted: (and I also hope this is not a dupe).

Sorry    




Btw - my FSM t-shirt should arrive any day now

Quoted: Quoted: (and I also hope this is not a dupe).   Sorry

dammit!  well, maybe it wont be to some.  (like myself, who should have seen something such as this)

Big ol dupe
AND you are going to hell
You know  the one eyed people eater is the only true god right ?

Quoted: Big ol dupe AND you are going to hell You know  the one eyed people eater is the only true god right ?

Is that Baal or Cthulu?  There are so many people-eating monsters, it's hard to know which one to worship.  

Quoted: Big ol dupe AND you are going to hell You know  the one eyed people eater is the only true god right ?

You are so going to hell.  Goatboy created the Universe in a fit of flatulence.

Quoted: Quoted: Big ol dupe AND you are going to hell You know  the one eyed people eater is the only true god right ? Is that Baal or Cthulu?  There are so many people-eating monsters, it's hard to know which one to worship.

Probably not Cthulhu.......  He only eats bad people.

Well, maybe not all bad people .....

Likely just not the ones in Denmark ....  I think the wooden shoes give him heartburn.

I personally find it saddening to see such blatant insults flung in the face of the very same God that sent his Son to redeem us from such sins. I hope all of you who share this hatred of the veiwpoint of those who believe in God will become more open minded some day.

And what exactly is wrong with teaching Intelligent Design? It is far more popular in America than the atheistic origins taught in school. I personally don't buy the whole 'absolutely nothing + really big magical boom = lots of stuff' equation. Why is believing in a God we can't see any less credible than believing that the entire universe is one big accident that just sorta popped up out of nothing?

That's all I have to say here.

Quoted: I personally find it saddening to see such blatant insults flung in the face of the very same God that sent his Son to redeem us from such sins. I hope all of you who share this hatred of the veiwpoint of those who believe in God will become more open minded some day. And what exactly is wrong with teaching Intelligent Design? It is far more popular in America than the atheistic origins taught in school. I personally don't buy the whole 'absolutely nothing + really big magical boom = lots of stuff' equation. Why is believing in a God we can't see any less credible than believing that the entire universe is one big accident that just sorta popped up out of nothing? That's all I have to say here.

Quoted: I personally find it saddening to see such blatant insults flung in the face of the very same God that sent his Son to redeem us from such sins. I hope all of you who share this hatred of the veiwpoint of those who believe in God will become more open minded some day. And what exactly is wrong with teaching Intelligent Design? It is far more popular in America than the atheistic origins taught in school. I personally don't buy the whole 'absolutely nothing + really big magical boom = lots of stuff' equation. Why is believing in a God we can't see any less credible than believing that the entire universe is one big accident that just sorta popped up out of nothing? That's all I have to say here.

Popularity does not lend validity.  You may say you do not buy the "nothing + really big magical boom = lots of stuff" but if you put your faith in God then you must.  If this God that you are so saddened over created the Universe then, who created him/her/it/whatever?

Is it so incredible to believe that a Universe could accidently pop into existence as apposed to an OMNI Potent entity suddenly popping into existence and deciding to create a Universe?

Quoted: I personally find it saddening to see such blatant insults flung in the face of the very same God that sent his Son to redeem us from such sins. I hope all of you who share this hatred of the veiwpoint of those who believe in God will become more open minded some day. And what exactly is wrong with teaching Intelligent Design? It is far more popular in America than the atheistic origins taught in school. I personally don't buy the whole 'absolutely nothing + really big magical boom = lots of stuff' equation. Why is believing in a God we can't see any less credible than believing that the entire universe is one big accident that just sorta popped up out of nothing? That's all I have to say here.

Quoted: I personally find it saddening to see such blatant insults flung in the face of the very same God that sent his Son to redeem us from such sins. I hope all of you who share this hatred of the veiwpoint of those who believe in God will become more open minded some day. And what exactly is wrong with teaching Intelligent Design? It is far more popular in America than the atheistic origins taught in school. I personally don't buy the whole 'absolutely nothing + really big magical boom = lots of stuff' equation. Why is believing in a God we can't see any less credible than believing that the entire universe is one big accident that just sorta popped up out of nothing? That's all I have to say here.

We all have our opinions.  


Personally, as a Christian, I am OFFENDED by people who want to have Creationism (or the latest version, "Intelligent Design") taught in schools.  

God gave us REASON and INTELLIGENCE, and to willfully abandon that, and to try to deny scientific reality is offensive to me, and spits in the face of God, by ignoring his greatest gift.  

Granted, if people want to live in the Dark Ages, that's a personal choice - but to try to hijack school boards and drag the rest of the country with them into the Dark Ages, to me is despicable, and again, offensive to God himself, who surely did not give us our cognitive gifts, just so we could ignore them.




So YOU might see a clever and humorous illustration of the FUNDAMENTAL logical flaw in demanding Intelligent Design be taught in school as an "insult to God" - yet I see the demand to have Intelligent Design taught in school as the REAL insult to God.

I guess we'll just have to disagree - and whomever dies first can ASK God (or the other guy) when we get there.

Quoted: I personally find it saddening to see such blatant insults flung in the face of the very same God that sent his Son to redeem us from such sins. I hope all of you who share this hatred of the veiwpoint of those who believe in God will become more open minded some day. And what exactly is wrong with teaching Intelligent Design? It is far more popular in America than the atheistic origins taught in school. I personally don't buy the whole 'absolutely nothing + really big magical boom = lots of stuff' equation. Why is believing in a God we can't see any less credible than believing that the entire universe is one big accident that just sorta popped up out of nothing? That's all I have to say here.

Wow........  Wound a little too tightly, maybe ?  

Quoted: I personally find it saddening to see such blatant insults flung in the face of the very same God that sent his Son to redeem us from such sins. I hope all of you who share this hatred of the veiwpoint of those who believe in God will become more open minded some day. And what exactly is wrong with teaching Intelligent Design? It is far more popular in America than the atheistic origins taught in school. I personally don't buy the whole 'absolutely nothing + really big magical boom = lots of stuff' equation. Why is believing in a God we can't see any less credible than believing that the entire universe is one big accident that just sorta popped up out of nothing? That's all I have to say here.

FSM was cooked for your sins you ingrate.

Quoted: FSM was cooked for you sins you ingrate.

Quoted: FSM was cooked for you sins you ingrate.

Can I get a Ramen?

Quoted: Can I get a Ramen?

RAMEN, fellow Pastafarian !!  

Is ramen considered a false god by the FSM?

Quoted: I personally find it saddening to see such blatant insults flung in the face of the very same God that sent his Son to redeem us from such sins.

I'd still like to see it explained as to why he had to have 'son' tortured to death. If he is an omnipotent god, then certainly *poofing* away our sins was an option?

And what exactly is wrong with teaching Intelligent Design? It is far more popular in America than the atheistic origins taught in school.

Popularity has nothing to do with which factual correctness.

Glad to see this for the third time.  

Quoted: Is it so incredible to believe that a Universe could accidently pop into existence as apposed to an OMNI Potent entity suddenly popping into existence and deciding to create a Universe?

God did not *poof* into existence - he has always existed and always will. No beginning, no end. Is this 'scientifically' possible? Of course not. God is not bound by science and our limited knowledge of the universe, whereas the big bang is. You may (will, I am sure) attribute God's ability to defy physics and Christians' statements that we cannot comprehend God as an "easy way out" of rationalizing of what you see as a myth. That is where faith comes in, and faith in and of itself cannot be debated, so I won't bother. The big bang - IF limited only to the realm of sceince and not intelligent design of some sort - is impossible, as it violates the scientific law that matter can neither be created or destroyed. This fact is being realized more and more today, and the current atheistic origin theory is that the universe was just always there. Again, this is impossible, since the law of entropy is totally violated.

Quoted: We all have our opinions. Personally, as a Christian, I am OFFENDED by people who want to have Creationism (or the latest version, "Intelligent Design") taught in schools. God gave us REASON and INTELLIGENCE, and to willfully abandon that, and to try to deny scientific reality is offensive to me, and spits in the face of God, by ignoring his greatest gift. Granted, if people want to live in the Dark Ages, that's a personal choice  - but to try to hijack school boards and drag the rest of the country with them into the Dark Ages, to me is despicable, and again, offensive to God himself, who surely did not give us our cognitive gifts, just so we could ignore them. So YOU might see a clever and humorous illustration of the FUNDAMENTAL logical flaw in demanding Intelligent Design be taught in school as an "insult to God" - yet I see the demand to have Intelligent Design taught in school as the REAL insult to God. I guess we'll just have to disagree - and whomever dies first can ASK God (or the other guy) when we get there.

Stop me if I am mistaken, but I believe that you are under the impression that I am arguing that Christians must reject all forms of evolution, etc. etc. to be Christians, evolution is  blashpemy, etc. I am not saying that. I am saying simply that there has to have been a higher power at work in order for the univers to exist. I think pretty much all Christians will agree to that. Currently schools tell our kids that God does not exist, more or less, and I think it'd be a good thing if schools at least tell kids that there God *may* have been involved in our existence.

Your stance as I see it now: Schools should ONLY be allowed to tell our children that there is no God and not give any alternatives.

My stance: Schools should be allowed to say that it is possible that our existence may or may not have involved God, and leave it entirely to the student to deciede for themselves.

I find it very odd that a "Christian" would take the first stance and get defensive when the the second stance is even mentioned.

But yes, we all have our opinions, and thank you for remaining civil.

Quoted: I'd still like to see it explained as to why he had to have 'son' tortured to death. If he is an omnipotent god, then certainly *poofing* away our sins was an option?

You're getting off topic. But to answer your question, it is because while God is merciful, he is also just. A sin against infinte holiness must incurr an equally infinite punishment. Anything less would be like giving out a parking ticket as punishment for a serial killer. Just in the same way that giving a ticket to a murder would be a sin of injustice, God just forgetting everybody's sins with no repentence from or punishment for anyone would also be a sin of injustice, and God is without sin. But God was merciful enough to send us His Son, so that through one man sin might be taken away from the world, in the same way that through one man (Adam) sin was brought into the world. Jesus accepted the punishment which was required for all our sins in our stead, so we don't have to take that punishment. All you have to do is tell him you're sorry and you accept this gift which is offered to you, and you are saved.

Quoted: Popularity has nothing to do with which factual correctness.

Well, yes and no. It is more correct to say that popularity does not necessarily equal factual correctness, but it is can a good indicator in certain situations. Besides, factual correctness is not the real issue here. What each person finds to be factually correct about a topic that has multiple sides is up to the individual. What we are talking about is simply what/how many options we should give our children in order for them to decide what, in their minds, is "factually correct". I believe that the fact that intelligent design is the most popular view in America is sufficient reason to allow it to be presented as an option to our kids.

Quoted: That's all I have to say here.

Quoted: Quoted: That's all I have to say here.

Ooops...quite correct.

I will keep my silence in this discussion from now on unless someone directly requests a response to something (and then only maybe, I doubt I'm going to open this topic again). There's really not much else I can say about this topic.

Quoted: Can I get a Ramen?

Ramen brother.

And yet, somehow, threads like these never end up being moved to the religion forum.

I guess it's ok to post a religious thread just as long as it's bashing christianity.

God did not *poof* into existence.

Well garsh, then how long did it take God to decide to create a Universe.  How long did he sit around in the void of nothingingness until he got so fucking bored that he decided that, "Well since I am the beginning and the end I may as well create a Universe.

Quoted: And yet, somehow, threads like these never end up being moved to the religion forum. I guess it's ok to post a religious thread just as long as it's bashing christianity.

Quoted: You're getting off topic. But to answer your question, it is because while God is merciful, he is also just. A sin against infinte holiness must incurr an equally infinite punishment. Anything less would be like giving out a parking ticket as punishment for a serial killer. Just in the same way that giving a ticket to a murder would be a sin of injustice, God just forgetting everybody's sins with no repentence from or punishment for anyone would also be a sin of injustice, and God is without sin.

Right. So god made up some messed up rules, and then had to play within their confines. Still, a bid sadistic, IMO.

But God was merciful enough to send us His Son, so that through one man sin might be taken away from the world, in the same way that through one man (Adam) sin was brought into the world.

Which is even more fucked up. Why the hell would all of mankind be punished for what Adam and Eve did? Why not just take care of those two and stop messing with the rest of us? Collective punishement is hardly a hallmark of a civilized being.

Jesus accepted the punishment which was required for all our sins in our stead, so we don't have to take that punishment. All you have to do is tell him you're sorry and you accept this gift which is offered to you, and you are saved.

Or I put another quarter in the great Flying Spaghetti Monster Salvation machine, and I am good to go. It makes about as much sense.

Well, yes and no. It is more correct to say that popularity does not necessarily equal factual correctness, but it is can a good indicator in certain situations.

No! Not in the least! 1000 AD, most folk thought the world was good and flat. Does that make it so? No. Throughout history, various groups of people believe in things like aliens and ghosts. Does that make them so? Not in the least.

The truth is not up for a vote. It exists independent of what people may like to believe.

Besides, factual correctness is not the real issue here. What each person finds to be factually correct about a topic that has multiple sides is up to the individual. What we are talking about is simply what/how many options we should give our children in order for them to decide what, in their minds, is "factually correct". I believe that the fact that intelligent design is the most popular view in America is sufficient reason to allow it to be presented as an option to our kids.

Sure. Then We must also teach the Norse creation myth and the Greek creation myth and every other silly 'Magic Sky Being Created Us All' story, right?

When the argument for your side consists of more than shaking some old book in peoples faces, it may deserve some thought. Hey, get that sky pixie to testify on the behalf of 'Intelligent Design'! Until then, our retarded youth need to have some good hard science beaten into their heads. The mythology can wait for later.

Quoted: I believe that the fact that intelligent design is the most popular view in America is sufficient reason to allow it to be presented as an option to our kids.

So whatever happened to going to church on sunday to learn this stuff?

Quoted: And yet, somehow, threads like these never end up being moved to the religion forum. I guess it's ok to post a religious thread just as long as it's bashing christianity.

its not bashing christianity, i'm catholic.     but i definitely dont agree with any bible mumbo jumbo being taught in biology class.  it is not where it belongs, and its not even science.  there's so much wrong with it there should not even be a discussion on if it goes into a SCIENCE class.  

personally i think each highschool should have a religion class.  not saying 'this is what you need to believe or you will burn and your skin will melt off and you will be in eternal pain'  but along the lines of
"these are the beliefs behind buddism, hinduism, taoist chinese stuff, islam, christianity, and judaism, etc    
- i go to a catholic jesuit unverisity and the great thing is that if you want religion to be in your life, it can be.  If you want it to have absolutely zero role in your life, it wont.  you arent required to go to mass or anything like that.  its a great atmosphere in my opinion.  Our religion 101 class is like the above.  it discusses all the major world religions, and i learned A LOT.  I took Intro to Islam for the 2nd required one just so i learned more about .....current events.     (on a side note if there was some possible way to eliminate all the f*ckers and their extremism, it seems like it could be a pretty nice religion)

the number of similarites between all of these is amazing, and of course there are still significant differences between ones such as comparing buddism and western religions.        i think religion classes should be taught to inform the students about all different beliefs so they actually have an understanding of why muslims prostrate while praying, and dont laugh because it looks like they're doing repetitive tornado drills from when you were in grade school.

its not bashing anything except people who are dumb enough to want intelligent design taught in bio class, and those who are too uptight about their dogmatic views to see outside their own blinders.

Believe it or not there are SCIENTISTS who believe in the idea of ID BECAUSE of SCIENTIFIC research such as the problems they encountered when trying to explain abiogenesis. Evolution rests on the twin pillars of abiogenesis and the idea of random mutation being favored by environment leading to increased genetic raw material and the eventual production of something other than the original organism.

Both of those pillars have serious problems in them.

Quoted: Can I get a Ramen?

I'll pass on the Ramen but I'll spot you a Somen instead.

Quoted: And yet, somehow, threads like these never end up being moved to the religion forum. I guess it's ok to post a religious thread just as long as it's bashing christianity.

I agree.

The truth of FSM must be regarded as equal to the other "so called" religions.

I personally didn't start this thread but I think it should be moved to the religious forum so that those who are on false paths may learn the way of FSM.

And while those who believe in ancient false ways (Zeus, Jehova, etc.) are sure to be offended by the recognition of FSM and gnash their teeth at it's rightful inclusion in the religious forum it will also show others the light and salvation of FSM.

Ramen.

Quoted: ... And what exactly is wrong with teaching Intelligent Design? It is far more popular in America than the atheistic origins taught in school....

Yes, we should base our science curriculum on popularity polls.



Maybe we should do the same for mathematics.

Quoted:

Do not blasphemy FSM or your soul will dwell forever in the hell that is Olive Garden.

Is parmesan cheese considered a "clean" or "unclean" food according to FSM? And what about ravioli, is that considered a herretical misinterpretation of FSM teachings?

Quoted: Quoted: Do not blasphemy FSM or your soul will dwell forever in the hell that is Olive Garden.

Hell with breadsticks.

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Do not blasphemy FSM or your soul will dwell forever in the hell that is Olive Garden. Hell with breadsticks.

I hope the salad devil shoves one of those 3 pronged forks in your posterior....

Quoted: Quoted: ... And what exactly is wrong with teaching Intelligent Design? It is far more popular in America than the atheistic origins taught in school.... Yes, we should base our science curriculum on popularity polls.

I really don't care to weigh in on the specifics of this debate . But why not teach based on popularity? Sex ed, american history,western civ are taught based on liberal thought rather than fact or historical truth. That is in essence a popularlarity contest.

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Do not blasphemy FSM or your soul will dwell forever in the hell that is Olive Garden. Hell with breadsticks. I hope the salad devil shoves one of those 3 pronged forks in your posterior....

I sense much anger in this one.

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: ... And what exactly is wrong with teaching Intelligent Design? It is far more popular in America than the atheistic origins taught in school.... Yes, we should base our science curriculum on popularity polls. I really don't care to weigh in on the specifics of this debate . But why not teach based on popularity? Sex ed, american history,western civ are taught based on liberal thought rather than fact or historical truth. That is in essence a popularlarity contest.

All of those are non-scientific "liberal arts" areas of study:  Trivia in the formal sense.  Scholarly debate in those fields often involves personal opinion that need not be subject to falsification.

In science EVERYTHING must be falsifiable.  Intelligent Design theory consists of a collection of challenges to the scientific underpinnings of evolutionary biology, which is perfectly valid, but it fails to meet the qualifications for a theory because it does not present a testable alternative explanation for everything.  To disprove ID you would have to prove that there is no intelligent designer, which forces the debate back to the unprovable question of whether or not there is a God.

Bottom line:  ID is an attempt to pass off Christian theistic creationism off as a scientific theory.  Because it's not empirically testable it's no more valid a theory than any other religion's creation story.  ID belongs in a philosophy or comparative religions class.  It would also make for interesting discussions in political science.  (Back to the liberal arts where it belongs.)

Quoted: I sense much anger in this one.

What you sense is your own impending doom! For lo, the Vinagarette Entity hath abandoned thee to the Sampler Platter of doom!!!

Quoted: Quoted: Do not blasphemy FSM or your soul will dwell forever in the hell that is Olive Garden.

I'll take the Tour of Italy, please, and an extra order of breadsticks.

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: ... And what exactly is wrong with teaching Intelligent Design? It is far more popular in America than the atheistic origins taught in school.... Yes, we should base our science curriculum on popularity polls. I really don't care to weigh in on the specifics of this debate . But why not teach based on popularity? Sex ed, american history,western civ are taught based on liberal thought rather than fact or historical truth. That is in essence a popularlarity contest.

And how well is that working out?

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Do not blasphemy FSM or your soul will dwell forever in the hell that is Olive Garden. Hell with breadsticks. I hope the salad devil shoves one of those 3 pronged forks in your posterior.... I sense much anger in this one.

He is not yet one with the marinara. I will pray for him.

Quoted: Is parmesan cheese considered a "clean" or "unclean" food according to FSM? And what about ravioli, is that considered a herretical misinterpretation of FSM teachings?

All are at one with FSM for all like him are good.

So what wine does His Eternal Noodledom require for communion? Red or white?

Quoted: He is not yet one with the marinara. I will pray for him.

You heretical Marinarins will be punished by the FSM!

It is we Alfredans who are the true disciples of FSM!! It says so in the Great Menu, in the Chef's Specials section:

"For lo, the sauce of the tomato doth cause allergic reactions in some...."

Quoted: And yet, somehow, threads like these never end up being moved to the religion forum.

Don't censor me!

This is general discussion. How else are we to
preach the good news about FSM? How else
will the non-starched learn that FSM was cooked
for their sins, my sins, and the sins of midgets
everywhere?

I see that the owners of this site wish to push
our religion into the dark recesses of this site.
Well, as a devout Pastafarian, I will not accept
this! We should take back ARFCOM and, once
again, make this site a safe haven for our
brothers and sisters.  

We will NOT BE SILENCED!

RAmen.