America has engaged in some finger wagging lately because California
doesn't have enough electricity to meet its needs.  The rest of the
country (including George W. Bush's energy secretary Spencer Abraham, who
wants Californians to suffer through blackouts as justification for
drilling for oil in Alaska's Arctic National Wildlife Refuge) seems to be
just fine with letting Californians dangle in the breeze without enough
power to meet their needs.  They laugh at Californians' frivolity.
 
 
Well, everybody.   Here's how it really is:
 
California ranks 48th in the nation in power consumed per person.

California grows more than half the nation's fruit, nuts and vegetables.

We're keeping them.
 
We need something to eat when the power goes out.  We grow 99 percent or
more of the nation's almonds, artichokes,
dates, figs, kiwifruit, olives, persimmons, pistachios, prunes, raisins
and walnuts.  Hope you won't miss them.

California is the nation's number one dairy state.  We're keeping our
dairy products.  We'll need plenty of fresh ones since our refrigerators
can't be relied upon.  Got milk?

We Californians are gonna keep all our high-tech software in state.
Silicon Valley is ours, after all.  Without enough electricity, which
you're apparently keeping for yourselves, we just plain don't have enough
software to spare.
 
We're keeping all our airplanes.  California builds a good percentage of
the commercial airliners available to fly you people to where you want to.
When yours wear out, you'd better hope Boeing's Washington plant can keep
you supplied.  There isn't enough electricity here to allow us to export
any more planes than we need ourselves.  And while we're at it, we're
keeping all our high-tech aerospace stuff, too, like the sophisticated
weapons systems that let you sleep at night, not worried you might wake up
under the rule of some foreign kook.
 
Oh, yeah, and if you want to make a long-distance call, remember where
the satellite components and tracking systems come from.  Maybe you could
get back in the habit of writing letters.

Want to see a blockbuster movie this weekend?  Come to California.  
We make them here. Since we'll now have to make them with our own
electricity, we're keeping them.  Even if we shot them somewhere else, the
labs, printing facilities, editing facilities, and sound facilities are
all here.
 
Want some nice domestic wine?  We produce over 17 million gallons per
year. We'll need all it to drown our sorrows when we think about the fact
that no matter how many California products we export to make
the rest of America's lives better, America can't see its way clear to
help us out with a little electricity.  You can no longer have any of our
wine.
 
You all complain that we don't build enough power plants.  Well, you
don't  grow enough food, write enough software, make enough movies, build
enough airplanes and defense systems or make enough wine.
 
Love,
 
The Californians

(Just thought I'd let everyone know how we feel [:D])

Thank you for your thoughts. On behalf of the United States you may keep your goods for your own consumption as long as you erect a wall along your border with our country to contain your communist bullshit tendencies.

I would also propose and exchange. We will trade you commies for hot chicks. We both have a surplus. You send out one non communist hot babe and we send in Ted Kennedy. We can do this all day and we will both be much happier. We will also trade you "our" captured communist for your captured "US citizens."

Then after the citizen exchange and erection of the Kali wall you may do what ever the hell you want. We will bother you no further and you will only see us when we are conducting geological surveys in the San Andreas area.

Buddy of mine sent me that in an E-mail, thought it was pretty darn funny.  BTW, let me out before you build the wall OK!

It won't be US who builds the wall. If you see them stockpiling building materials you better just keep driving east.

Thank you SteyrAUG!!!  My thoughts exactly![beer]

edited for fat fingers

I'm working on bringing out one non-Communist hot chick with me.....

Anyone who thinks their state can survive without California is purely ignorant.

Ah well... maybe I'm just not the type that has 3 broken down cars in my front lawn or find my relatives attractive.

Although I do enjoy listening to Foggy Mountain Breakdown.  [:)]

Make the sacrifice, fill your vehicle with as many normal hot chicks as possible. You can always get NEW clothes, screw the luggage.

And Frank, I know what you are saying but the time has come that we will take that risk. The PRK will realize it cannot self sustain and will adopt a quasi communist attitude that let's it engage in capitalism with the U.S. like China does now.

You left one thing out: CALIFORNIA SUCKS!!!!!
You are right-most nuts come from Kali

SINK SINK SINK SINK.....

Well I do have an attractive sister-in-law, but I can’t find any other family members attractive, I’ve only got one brother.  

[i]I fergot ya’ll in KA dn’t got no problem wit boys finein other boys atrack-tiv.[/i]

And has for those non-working cars, well hell boy, you just don’t know if they are for decoration or if they serve a purpose.  I know of some junk cars that are spider holes (ie. fortified tactical shooting positions) for when the SHTF.

And for living without KA, I’m sure we’d get by just fine.[:D]

How many elections do you think will pass, with Kali in the dark, before the majority in the state will realize how to vote for the proper candidates?  I really hate to wish ill on the conservative minority of the state, but I say "Reap what you sow!"  Whatever happened to accountability?

Regards  

I want to see riots at Starbucks after the goatee heads find out the coffee machines aren't running.

Fruits and Nuts from Kali is right.  More rearend rangers and tounge and groovers there than anyplace on earth.  And they are proud of it!!!  

What is happening in PRK is deserved.  Not building a single power plant in 20 years due to wacko environmentalists screaming bloody murder.  Screw 'em!!  I think it's funny how those wackos all still drive cars and run their air conditioners.  They love those wacko policies as long as it affects somebody else.

Just like the idiot environmentalists in OR right now and this sucker fish.  Screw the sucker fish, I hope he parishes from the planet for good then we won't have to worry about his ugly ass anymore.  The farmers need water to grow and water they are entitled to by whatever means necessary, sucker fish or any other wildlife be damned.  

Ya see? That is what we need... one big fucking riot!!!

I'm down for that. A little "weeding out the rats" never hurt anyone. Well besides the rats.

You're all forgetting that everyone in CA loves guns, they just don't know it yet.  I bet that when the SHTF, there won't be a single person that doesn't want to own one (or ten).

Excellent point.  They say that a conservative is a liberal who just got mugged, and a liberal is a conservative who just spent the night in jail.  When the summer heat really hits and the power starts going off all over the state, what do you want to bet that gun ownership in California becomes a BIG topic?  "What do you mean I have to wait?!?"  "What do you MEAN I can't have one of those?!?"  "What do you MEAN I can't buy ammunition?!?".  Ahh.  Maybe sanity will return there, after all.

But I doubt it.

Kali, with a few exceptions, is nothing but bone smugglers, carpet munchers, and yuppie flakes.  It is all their "sensible" legislation that has gotten them into this predicament, and if they had any sense of responsibility they would own up to it and work their way out of it, instead of moaning and complaining to the rest of us to bail them out.

Pull the plug, NO extention cords headed west.

Burn Hollywood Burn.

Don't believe the news media spin that the Calif. power crisis is due to greedy out-of-state power producers.  The Democrats controlled the state legislature for the past 20 years.  It all boils down to the fact that the Calif. government is responsible for this power mess that we are in, of as of any politician, "they are there to take the credit, but never there to take the blame."

funny and true stuff --roadrunner

dont forget that kalif has the largest ports and airline cargo areas on the west coast, so all those japenese tv's just doubled in price since they have to fly farther to other airports, and the ships have dock someplace else.


and you guys got it WRONG, the weirdos and wackos are NOT From kalif -- they GO TO KALIF, should i mention how many out of state license plates i see EVERY DAY ?
if AZ and texas are so much better why do i see those plates the most?

besides the weirdos just make life a little more interesting [:D]

We're just there to watch the local exotic wildlife.  It's like a drive-through preserve!

Actually, though, you're right.  The wackos aren't indigenous.  Sometime, late at night, someone tipped the country and everything loose rolled into California.  

Then they took over the local and state governments.

[sniper]

I live here in ca and i can care less if gw doesnt want to bail our sorry asses out.Our stupid democrap leadership got us to mess any way.I have my own generator that will keep my power on and hopefully this crap will cost them domn bastards the next election here.I also think that they should pull the plug on all enviro wackos and keep them from purchasing fuel since they bitch so much about new power plants and oil drilling.

Send the wetbacks back to Mexico, the hot babes east, and GO SAN ANDREAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOL [:D]

Wow!  and still not enough power to go around.  Makes you wonder.




Got plenty, I live in Wisconsin.  We'd like nothing better than Ca to stop shipping out milk.  You see, the California rep's are doing a marvelous job of keeping an obscure little  tax structure in place that penalizes Wisconsin Dairy farmers, to the benifit of Californian farmers.  The closer you are to Eau Claire, Wi, the higher the US taxes the dairy farmer is stuck with.  Cute, and it pisses us off, so PLEASE keep your dairy products.



Redmond's in Washington.  Hmm, OK one to you.



I'm actually one of those guys who think modern American media (movies, etc) plays a part to blame in the degredation of American society, so ok, fine.


Never touch the stuff.  Feel free to Drink and drive California.

Actually, Troy, several new plants have been built in CA. They're just small gas fired or biomass co-gens, that local business' (Campbell Soup) use to power their factories and sell off any surplus.
The nice thing about these plants is that they are small an unobtrusive.
However, many more of these smaller "backyard" co-gens are needed throughout the State.

One thing that has been overlooked is that all the money being spent to bail out the power companies could have been used to install solar systems on just about all residental buildings for free.

Paul