We had our house built in 2010 and in 2013 our neighbor's house was built.  They began to annoy me from day one because their son and all his friends would park in front of my house, while the front of their house was wide open for parking.  The parking itself wasn't the problem, it was the constant in/out, doors slamming, standing in my frontyard, and idling fart cannons; we're talking in/out 5+ times an evening with 2-3 cars.  Whatever, you can't teach people respect, but I still took the high ground by making our guests park up the road or across the street as to not do the same bullshit to them.  Anyhow, shortly after them moving in, they built an above ground pool.  This fucking pool is unavoidable to see from practically anywhere in my backyard, side yard, or front yard.  It's even clearly visible from the street.  I'd fully expect them to put up a privacy fence, but no dice.  

Last July, while playing in the backyard with our little one (3yr old little girl) on a slip'n'slide we notice the neighbors are banging in the pool.  It's 3pm on a fucking Sunday.  Our jaws just dropped, what the hell do you say in a situation like this..."Hey guys, stop fucking"??  They were discrete about it, but come on, they're 50 years old and it was obvious.  I waited a few months to not seem too passive aggressive about the pool and then planted 17 green giant arbs 5ft off the property line.  However, I was sure to stop short so the pool was still visible from the street; they weren't getting a free privacy fence from me.  I had already planted a few trees the instant they broke ground on the house to obscure the view from my deck.  I also built whats been named the Berlin wall off the corner of our house, a 5ft wall of railroad ties angled off the corner of the house to block our patio/play area under and to the side of the deck.  

This Sunday around 2pm, while pulling into my driveway (I was still in the street) I see the neighbor plowing his old lady in the pool again.  You'd think they'd realize that since they can see the street that anyone on the street can see them too.  I get along fine with my neighbors and talk to them about once a week, they're nice people, a little trashy (obviously), but I realize it could be a lot worse.  I'd say something about the banging in the pool being clearly visible, but the guy is one of those people who seems to have everything sail over his head.  He's one of those people that in conversation, you wonder if they're even listening to what you're saying, or he completely misses the point, kind of a completely oblivious person.  Imagine talking to someone who is deaf, kinda like that.  For example the one time I got "neighborly" with him, I asked him to stop mowing so far into my yard because he's scalping my grass.  His response was "Oh man, I don't mind mowing some for ya, you snowblow for us, so it's not problem."  To which I responded, "No, I don't want you mowing my grass".  Him - "It's just a few feet bro, I don't mind helping you out."  Completely missed the point, and he's definitely not trying to claim my land, he's just oblivious.  Another example, when I was marking the property line for planting the arbs.  He offered to pay for some, I said no, that's fine.  He insisted.  I said no, I won't take your money.  He agreed.  The next day he comes to me and says "I don't think I should have to pay because they're not on the property line, they're 5ft in".  WTF?!  We already established he wasn't paying.  Dude does not listen at all.

My arbs and trees aren't growing fast enough, short of throwing meth/fertilizer on them, what say GD?  Or, why is OP gay.  Yes, we plan on moving once all the student loans are paid off (5 years yet).  I grew up on a farm with a lot of land and with extreme privacy, I can't handle this suburban living.

inb4neighborwantstobangme and/or inb4fruitplate

That's a little weird that they keep doing it. I've done the whole sex in a pool thing and its really not that great. Think no lubrication.
Once was enough for me

Go yell at some clouds Abe...

pics?

Video?

Come on, OP.

Well,

myneighborspool.com is available for purchase.

Pics of whoopie in said pool

Try not to worry about it so much.

I think your neighbors know they can be seen by your or anyone from the street side and I think they like it that way.



Edit:
It could be worse. One of my neighbors was having some work done to their house (they had no idea permits were necessary) and the neighbor across the street knows this and calls code enforcement on them.

Same neighbor calls code enforcement on my girlfriend because the neighbor thinks my GF's fence in sitting in the easement.



Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile

So you're complaining about a happy marriage?  This is a first in GD.



Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile

People are the reason I moved out of the suburbs.

I don't, I was more sharing the WTF story.  The only aspect that bothers me is they know we are outside very often with our little girl.

Make general conversation with them while they're banging.

I bet your neighbor is the type of guy that lets other guys plow his wife.

Are these your neighbors?






If he's oblivious, you could make him aware that he's being indiscrete. Shout to him from your back yard "Pool fucker! Do you require assistance?".

Needs moar trail cam...

TC

Pics or it didn't happen

Pretty difficult to determine if your neighbor is in the wrong without pics of his wife.

Next time you catch them start talking to them about something completely mundane and trivial.  Act completely oblivious.  Then tell them about the CDC warning related to pools.

The neighbor wants you in his bed...

Pics or gtfo

Put a camera and stream it live.

next time just stop and stare.  Maybe get out the binoculars

How the hell do they have a pool w/o a fence? Every where I have lived in many states required a fence around a pool.

He's complaining because the subtle message sent by the neighbors is not reaching his sammich maker.

spot lighting.

not just for deer.

lolololol

That exact line runs through my head everytime I see them in the pool.

Trust me, I really want to make it awkward for them, but I have a feeling it will backfire on me and I'll be the one feeling awkward.

I like that idea better

I've come to the conclusion there is no place with perfect neighbors no matter where u live. We have a dude who plays drums in the garage with the door open. If gladly take a old couple banging as long as they were quiet

Ignore it and be happy.  Soon your screen trees will give you relief and you'll have to rub one out with your own imagination,.

Next time you see them getting it in the pool, yell out," hell yeah hammer that sumbitch" call up the rest of the neighbor guys and sit on your drive way and watch.

TLDR
no pix.
out.

So how many times would you say he'd be willing to patch his pool before giving up and just take it down?

This is what happens when you move into an area without an HOA....(j/k)

The inspector signed it off because it's aboveground.  The little bracket in the MSpaint is the "deck" of the pool, which has a railing and is gated.

If they are in their 50s it may be wetter than it is out of the pool.

This is clearly the only answer worth reading.

Maybe throw in a fuck her right in the pussy to go with it.

Get up on your roof, scream insults at them and throw beer bottles into their pool until they stop.

1.  Buy www.myneighborspool.com (as previously mentioned)
2. Set up live, multiple webcam feed
3.  Broadcast live fucking shows.
4.  ???
5.  Profit!!!

Collect the neighborhood kids together and have them all standing on the property line watching them. If that does not work encourage the kids to make disparaging dick comments and see how long Mr Pool can keep it up with his manhood being berated by high school kids.

I think you guys are imaging this to be hot romantic pool sex.  This is more veins bulging in the neck hammering away in a rhythmic seizure fashion.

I'd walk over while he is plowing her and talk about some random bullshit. Ask if they seen someone putting trash in the trash cans on trash day last week. Just whatever.

I'd do it EVERY time they are getting it on.

It seems you chose your property poorly when you built your house. You can't control what happens on land you do not own.

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile

He probably listens very carefully but... What you are seeing is the full capacity of the human brain on drugs (probably heroin or prescription narcotics in this case)

OP you know what you have to do.  The risk you take when buying such a small parcel is neighbors like them.  

Save up the money asap and get back to your country living roots.


Good luck!

1. Hover over them banging with a quadracopter
2. Upload to internet
3. ?????
4. Profit.

Put up your own fence?  

Get a toaster and a long extension chord, plug it an and chuck it in the pool next time they are bothering you?

Their banging, their rules.

Thank god I have a reasonable HOA

Let us know when you post the video to Worldstarhiphop.