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Posted: 4/5/2015 9:23:22 AM EDT
I've written about her before. She disappeared for the winter. Now she's back.
My wife and I are the only year-round residents on a small peninsula. All the other houses are just seasonal cottages. So we have the peninsula to ourselves for about ten months every year. I have the keys to some cottages and keep an eye on things for the owners. I walk down the peninsula to the little lighthouse at the end every day with our three Great Danes. I'm conscientious about picking up poop, but sometimes I miss one, especially if it's dark. Hippy Chick is living in her parent's cottage. She says that she can't work because she has Lyme disease, but that she's a "political activism volunteer". She doesn't speak to her father. She has no car. The cottage is winterized, so there's no water or septic. She buries her crap in the yard. She's tacked blankets over all the windows. As far as I can tell, she spends about twenty hours a day in the dark and stoned. I think that she's either mildly retarded, or that she's fried her brain with drugs. She used to come over to our house to get water, but my wife is creeped out by her, so now she uses lake water. She asks for rides all the time, to the grocery store or the dump. I have her sort her recyclables and I take them to the dump with ours. If I see her hitchhiking I give her a lift. She frequently asks if we have any work she could do. I always tell her no. She asked if she could go to church with us. I told her we were atheists. I see smoke coming out of her chimney on chilly days, and I have no idea where she's getting firewood. I have a bit of a suspicion that she's stealing it from our pile. Dog poop is her obsession. Whenever she finds any kind of a turd, she marks it with a little flag, then knocks on our door to tell me to go pick it up. She's trying to "train" me by doing it often and at inconvenient hours. At first I bent over backwards to indulge her. Then I started blowing her off until my next walk. Then I started putting little signs next to her little flags that said things like, "This tiny turd did not come out of a Great Dane's butt. It's probably from a raccoon." She just knocked on our door to tell me about another turd, and said that I'm required to keep my dogs on a leash when I walk down the peninsula. I told her that, no, I'm required to have them "in control", and it can be verbal control, and besides, I'm one of the owners of the private road. I thought she was going to threaten to call the police, but she didn't go that far. I try hard to stay on good terms with all my neighbors, but this one is a challenge. She doesn't seem to able to connect the dots when she asks us for favors and pisses us off at the same time. |
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Leave a turd on her doorstep.
If she buries her crap in the yard take pictures, call police. |
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Next time she asks for work tell her you need a pooper scooper.
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Hope springs enternal from the ARFCom GD horn dog. "Is she hot?" She lives in a house with no heat or water and puts signs on dog shit. Do you think she is hot bro?
Time to start filling choice logs with smoke bombs. |
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She's got long gray hair, kind of mongoloid-looking, widely-spaced eyes, she chatters as long as you'll stand there listening, and she laughs at the end of every sentence. So a solid New Hampshire eight. Give me your number, I'll hook a brother up. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
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Is she hot? She's got long gray hair, kind of mongoloid-looking, widely-spaced eyes, she chatters as long as you'll stand there listening, and she laughs at the end of every sentence. So a solid New Hampshire eight. Give me your number, I'll hook a brother up. You sure shes not Gail the Snail? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lipI8KQjHU |
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Gorgeous. PM me your number and I'll pass it along. I may have just solved my problem. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
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Is she at least good looking? Gorgeous. PM me your number and I'll pass it along. I may have just solved my problem. Like no one but us was wondering... |
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Gorgeous. PM me your number and I'll pass it along. I may have just solved my problem. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
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Is she at least good looking? Gorgeous. PM me your number and I'll pass it along. I may have just solved my problem. She poops in the yard I highly doubt she has a phone. |
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Hope springs enternal from the ARFCom GD horn dog. "Is she hot?" She lives in a house with no heat or water and puts signs on dog shit. Do you think she is hot bro? Time to start filling choice logs with firecrackers. this could be brilliant I changed it to smoke bombs. |
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She poops in the yard I highly doubt she has a phone. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
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Is she at least good looking? Gorgeous. PM me your number and I'll pass it along. I may have just solved my problem. She poops in the yard I highly doubt she has a phone. Everyone on welfare has a phone. Your tax dollars at work. |
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just piss on her once.... you'll make a clean spot as well as assert dominance.
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Hope springs enternal from the ARFCom GD horn dog. "Is she hot?" She lives in a house with no heat or water and puts signs on dog shit. Do you think she is hot bro? Time to start filling choice logs with firecrackersgunpowder. this could be brilliant FIFY.... ETA..so as not to offend the hippy lovers of this board...by filling one with gunpowder I do not mean make a bomb out of it...loose gunpowder not packed! |
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She steals your firewood.
She complains about your dogs. You take care of her garbage. You give her rides. Who is the alpha here? |
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Video record your woodpile. Once you inform her she's on tape stealing wood, you won't hear shit about shit.
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"no running water", "buries her poop in the yard"; she apparently smells like ass and has no viable means to wash her pussy and you wonder if she's hot? View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
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Is she hot? "no running water", "buries her poop in the yard"; she apparently smells like ass and has no viable means to wash her pussy and you wonder if she's hot? |
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I'm gonna go into town and call the police on you. Hey can you give me a ride? Oh and can you call the police on yourself, I won't pass a drug test and have warrants.
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It sounds to me like an HOA is the answer to your solution. That should do it.
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I love the little signs indicating the turds are too small for Danes. That's awesome!
I love the firecracker idea too. |
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FIFY.... ETA..so as not to offend the hippy lovers of this board...by filling one with gunpowder I do not mean make a bomb out of it...loose gunpowder not packed! View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
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Hope springs enternal from the ARFCom GD horn dog. "Is she hot?" She lives in a house with no heat or water and puts signs on dog shit. Do you think she is hot bro? Time to start filling choice logs with firecrackersgunpowder. this could be brilliant FIFY.... ETA..so as not to offend the hippy lovers of this board...by filling one with gunpowder I do not mean make a bomb out of it...loose gunpowder not packed! 2 inch wood auger bit and some of those chalky sphere smoke bombs packed inside. Seal end with wood putty cover with bark. The colored smoke will be pouring out her chimney. |
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"no running water", "buries her poop in the yard"; she apparently smells like ass and has no viable means to wash her pussy and you wonder if she's hot? View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
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Is she hot? "no running water", "buries her poop in the yard"; she apparently smells like ass and has no viable means to wash her pussy and you wonder if she's hot? OK.....so she's a little "free range". Let the man answer the question before jumping to conclusions! |
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Start flagging where she poops in her yard.
Serialized with number, date, time. |
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Some people just can't be pleased. She won't speak to her father, yet she lives in his home, she doesn't approve of your and your dogs, yet she doesn't mind accepting your kindness. She demands to be accepted for who she is, yet refuses to accept any opinion or idea that is different than her own.
She is a spoiled woman child, she believes that she is all that is right in the world, and should be respected and admired for who she is, and it befuddles her that instead she is treated poorly. It never has and never will occur to her that she is treated as she has determined that she should be treated, she alienates those around her, she refuses to conform to any standard that doesn't please her. She finds significance in everything she does, no matter how mundane the activity she participates in she insists on making it a statement, if she drinks a cup of tea she will make damned sure that anybody who witnesses knows that it isn't just a cup of tea, but a statement on the nobility of the poor in India. Aren't there places on your peninsula where you could bury her and she wouldn't be found? |
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Hope springs enternal from the ARFCom GD horn dog. "Is she hot?" She lives in a house with no heat or water and puts signs on dog shit. Do you think she is hot bro? Time to start filling choice logs with firecrackers. this could be brilliant I changed it to smoke bombs. I know someone who drilled a log and put an M-80 in it. Found the culprit pretty quick. Almost had the house burned down because the scumbag was using an airtight stove and the pressure blew out the glass and hot coals came flying out. Not to say the dirtbag didn't deserve it, but it almost ended very badly. This was many years ago on a very rural local level. Today? The guy who added the M-80 to the log would probably be in jail. Not a good idea. |
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Sounds like she is mentally ill, and unable to care for herself. No running water, no means to clean or bathe, and out of touch with reality. In the spirit of Easter, you should call the police and ask them to do a wellfare check on her as she seems to be getting worse with her paranoia.
Make sure you add in that you don't think she has any food. This way responding officers have to go inside to check on her. |
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I'm pretty sure just burying her shit in the yard is against septic codes.
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Quoted: When I hear Lymes disease I first think mental health first. View Quote It rates right up there with "migraine" headaches. If the percentage of the population which claims these ailments actually suffered from them, they would not be called ailments, but the new norm. |
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I've always been told that you just can't trust a person with wide spaced eyes.
Stop doing things for her. Zero contact. When she comes up to you tell her that she needs to leave and that you don't want to interact with her. |
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