In light of your political and economic situation, what would you say to the following offer?



We allow you to come back under Crown control. As a colony, our only real interest in you is making money out of you, so...



You can elect your own colonial parliament, representatives, administration etc. As long as you're making money, we don't care. We get to appoint a colonial governor to sign off laws on behalf of the Queen. We can't be bothered with all that nonsense surrounding setting up a proper legal system for you after the hash you made of the last one, so we'll just scrub most of what went before and use your constitution as a basic set of rules.



Any regulations that impact on your ability to continue generating revenue for us are abolished - no EPA, zoning etc. We don't care if your ruin your land or your health, as long as you're making money. All this commerce clause nonsense stops because - hey, you're all our subjects now anyway.



All government-sponsored healthcare and welfare is stopped. You're just colonial peons, we're not wasting money on supporting you. If you want to support each other, go right ahead. As long as you're paying your taxes, we don't care.



You can have whatever cars, guns, foods etc you like. Want to drink unpasteurized milk while driving a giant diesel truck at 100mph and shooting a machinegun out the window? Fine. Your health, safety and social cohesion is of no concern to us. Do whatever you want as long as you pay your taxes.



IN RETURN



The only tax that the Crown will allow to be levied is a flat 15% on each subject's earnings in excess of $10k per annum (reasonably adjusted for inflation) and a flat 10% corporation tax charged on all company income in excess of $100k per annum. The personal tax revenue is split, so 5% of that tax is kept to run your internal colonial affairs and we get 10%. We get all the corporation tax.



If you want to make other contributions to churches, local projects, schools, charities or whatever from your share, go right ahead - but your regional governments can't force it out of you because only we can raise a tax and we already have our cut so we're not interested.



What do you say? How is this not better than what you have at the moment?



If you're interested, I can have a word with some people I know and see what we can get set up.

Id rather drink turpentine and piss on a brush fire.

I would say yes, just to have an opportunity to kick your British asses again.

How about no. I didn't even read past "come under crown control". NOPE.

I have a feeling its the BRITs going subversive in our own gov!!!!  Get em boys!!!!!

No.

Will we be allowed guns? Will you deport all the illegals? Will you tax out tea/coffee?
Can we send you our Muslims for cute British chicks?

And don't even think about making us start eating spotted dick or any of that other shit you call food

Better idea.

You can have all our democrats.
They represent a huge amount of money, I am sure you could coerce them into parting with a lot of it for "fairness/the earth/the children".

You don't even have to give us anything in return.

I'm buying another pistol this week, so, no.

Never read past the second sentence.

No.

Screw you, Limey, we already have an Empress named Barack.

How about we let you become the 51st state.

Nicely put, ole chap.   yep, that's my vote.

I think you need to GTFO and take Canada with you!!

Or we allow US defense spending to keep them safe from the big bad Germans and the evil Russian cousins.

Sounds good.  Why don't you guys ship some tea over to start things off?

This is where I stopped reading for some reason when I started daydreaming about future MGs, DDs, and so on. So in other words, yes where do I sign up?

But what happens when all of the FSA you have in your country do away with the Crown. What are we going to do then.

No

I am sharpening my tomahawk now.

I'd give it 6 months before it was royally fucked up again.

Its a trick guys, they are trying to get us under Sharia Law.

Its a sinking ship, you don't want to get in on this.

F@&C Off! I enjoy my "Freedom" as a citizen not a "subject"



And, considering the "hash" you've made of your own once proud world power.

How does Piers Morgan fit into this?

This.

I was raised in Massachusetts. We still have some of "her majesty's" soldiers buried in Concord, but we've got plenty of space to bury more of them.

Happy Patriots' day, motherfuckers.

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I am Subject to no man.

Maybe we should place you under OUR control.

British empire.... the sun has set a long time ago.

We don't need no stinkin' govmint !

Nuts.

thank you for your offer.  i admire the british, and acknowledge the tremendous influence that britain has had on our own culture.

Try it.

I'd work on keeping your Scots under control. Or, digging the trench to turn them into an island after the 18th of September.

More than the US, you guys could use another proper German king.

How about you retract your silly offer and bow down to your masters before we crush you. We own you. You owe us.

Fucking terrorists have just been added to the fucking terrorists list.

You can have all and any guns you want. Have hand grenades if you want, we don't care. The only thing we want is some tax.



Illegals who work and pay tax? No.



Tea and coffee? No. Only two taxes are allowed - one personal tax on actually earned income, one business tax on corporations.



Eat what you like, our spotted dick is kept in reserve for our cute British chicks



 

Cute British chick? You mean the ones that speak Polish fluently?

You're free to do that in the glorious new old colony!



Plus you get to keep more of your take-home pay, which you might need to pay for the hospital treatment from drinking turpentine and pissing on brush fires



Don't plan on suing the hospital if they don't make your penis work again properly, though, medical tort law would be fundamentally rewritten so that you could only sue if they really fucked up.



 

But the choice is between what we can offer and what you have now? Once you have tasted the freedom we are offering, would you actually want to go back?



 

He fits on a small boat without oars or a sail, floating through somali-pirate-and-shark infested waters.



 

So what is your plan for financing the army of Germans you'll inevitably have to hire again to attempt to bring us to heel again? Double TV taxes?

But we'd leave you to succeed or fail on your own as much as you like. No one saying "you didn't build that" and telling you to give two thirds of your hard-earned stuff to someone else who didn't succeed.



 

we need to talk some more ..........

But that's the beauty of it. It's like finding your kid secretly smoking and drinking behind the house and forcing him to smoke a whole pack and down a bottle of whiskey in one go as punishment. If he wants it so bad, he can have it - and all the headaches and hangovers that come with it.



I reckon after this many years of Obama, you'll start to appreciate how much better life can be, so you will want to be part of this, not forced into it.



 

Ed Millibrand is going to be the next PM, so I might as well stay where I am...

Though I would pay good money to see the Member from Texas pull a 1911 and put two rounds in the ceiling of Westminster during PM Questions.

How about you ship us a few challenger 2s, warriors and, abbots and we'll think about it.