http://pbh3.tumblr.com/post/432012172/best-divorce-letter-ever

I've seen it before, but I laughed just as hard this time.

Perfect! Just perfect!

I love it.

Old, but epic and awesome and fun to read over and over.

Hadn't seen that before.  

Funny, I'm sure if its real that Connie was not pleased.

Cinnamon ring?  I don't think I've ever heard that one.

Excellent!!!!

Oldie but goodie.

I've heard of " leather cheereo" but not a cinnamon ring. lol

Guy caught his date blowing another guy...they split and she sends him this letter......


It would be difficult for me to be any more miserable
right now, I feel like the worst person ever. First, let
me start by saying that I am truly truly sorry, and I
hate myself for hurting you. Of all the people in the
whole entire world, you were honestly the last person
that I would ever want to wrong in any way. There is no
excuse at all for anything that happened, so I won't
even try other than to say all of us had WAY too much to
drink, and I did a stupid thing. I can handle you being
pissed at me, I absolutely deserve it, I can even handle
the ugly words that were exchanged between us, what I
can't handle is thinking that you see me as a different
person. It is weird,

I feel like I just went through a horrible break up or
something. The world looked funny yesterday, I couldn't
crack a smile if you paid me,


there are songs I can't listen to, and I just ! feel
beyond crushed. I


don't know if you meant everything you said to me, and I
am hoping that you didn't. I know that I was wrong on
many levels, but I am also


hoping that this is something that we can deal with. I
know it sounds totally crazy and stupid, but you have
come to play such a significant


role in my life, I can't imagine my days without you. It
is totally strange and weird to say that, and you could
say that my behavior didn't reflect that, and you would
be correct. I hate feeling like you


hate me, and I hate feeling like all of your friends
think I am a terrible person, because I am not. I know
there is nothing I can say or do to take back what
happened, but I just want you to know that fighting with
you was just about the worst thing I could have ever
imagined. It was right up there with one of the ugliest
nights of my life, and I would give anything in the
world to rewind and fix it.

I am not sure if you will respond to this, part of me
thinks that you won't. If not today, then maybe some
other time. Also, thanks for getting my stuff together,
although I think my sunglasses are still at


your house, if you could keep your eyes peeled for them
that would be great. I can't even focus or work today, I
can't eat, I seriously feel


like it was an ugly break up, and I am hoping against
hopes that it was not that and you are not done with me.
Please don't cut me off, I really don't think I can
handle that.

I am so sorry.






then the boyfriend fires back with this this little gem:

Thank you for your concern. I'll be sure to file it away
under "L" for


"Long-winded diatribes from drunken whores I couldn't
care less about".

You did a stupid thing huh? No...doing long division and
forgetting to


carry the one is "a stupid thing"; Mixing in a red sock
with a load of


whites is "a stupid thing"; Blowing some guy in a
bathroom for 45 minutes while I sit at the bar wondering
if you're taking so long because you ate too much bran
that morning isn't as much a "Stupid thing" as it is
grounds for permanent removal from my social calendar.

To be honest, I'm not sure if it was more amusing that
you went and degraded yourself in a public toilet not
once but twice in a 2 hour span, or that you seemed to
think that by saying "Well, I didn't Fuck him" somehow
gave you a clean slate.

So forgive me if I couldn't care less if the world
"looked funny" to you yesterday. Since your world
revolves around blow dryers, golden retrievers, Prada
Bags and Jelly Beans, I'm sure it must have been most
unsettling to actually have to consider someone else's
feelings for 24 hours straight. The good news for you is
that my friends don't think you're a terrible person,
they just think you're the average run


of the mill cum-guzzling blond who commands about as much
respect as your average child porn collector. I could be
wrong but, it's pretty hard to respect some B&T chick
who comes out to spend the night at my place even though
she's seeing someone else in New jersey and winds up


tongue-bathing the taint of anyone who decides 30 minutes
of droning commentary on Colin Farrell's new haircut is
worth putting up with for


a hand job in the men's room. The good thing about being
a guy is that


when I eventually bump into the young lad who
finger-blasted you on top of a towel dispenser last
saturday, we'll have a shot and laugh our heads off
about the time it happened.

By the way, for the amount of time you claim to spend in
spin class you really must be doing something wrong to
sport the thunder thighs you do. Watching you parade
around my bedroom in a thong was a little like watching
sea lions mate. Thought you might like to know.

PS. I BCC'd about 100 people on this email.

Nice

See it before too, but I don't think it had the part about the sister.....



 

This thread delivers.

Lol. Breaking up with sluts kicks ass.

Throat yogurt...

a lady friend of mine showed me an email she sent back to her exhusbands current wife, and asked
me if it made her a bad person.  i read it and told her it made me like her more.
the current wife had sent some blanket email joke to everyone on her list, including my lady friend.
she responded with " elaine, you were fucking my husband while we were still married, WTF makes
you think i want to hear anything you have to say?"

and she sent it out to everyone on elaines email list......

Chocolate Starfish, Rusty Sherriffs Badge......

Throat yogurt!