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Posted: 9/30/2014 12:27:08 PM EDT
I'm not talking about someone just giving you something randomly, like the clap, I mean something you received at a time for normally receiving gifts. i.e. Birthday, Christmas, Wedding, etc...
The thread from a couple of days ago about a crappy present gave me the idea for what seemed worthy of it's own thread. I'll recant the story I posted there that was lost in oblivian for starters. College roomate (4 bedroom house with 4 guys) gave me a present for my birthday which consisted of a card and a pack of Starburst candy and another candy bar. I didn't expect anything from a roomate for my birthday so I thought it was a nice gesture. I later found out that this roomate had stolen several checks from my checkbook and wrote 21 checks signing my name to the tune of $600. One of those checks was written for the purchase of afore mentioned card and candy... So, what's the worst gift you've received? (other than nothing) |
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Got a snow globe as a wedding gift a few months back. What the fuck am I gonna do with a snow globe?
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Got a snow globe as a wedding gift a few months back. What the fuck am I gonna do with a snow globe? Target practice of course. ETA: that will be a tough one. I shoot out at my buddy's property and his mom was the one who gave it to me . |
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Wedding Gift:
3 Quintain Terrantino Films from a guy who had just bought a brand new BMW 3-Series. |
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Golf themed pen set, i didn't golf then. I got it for being in a wedding.
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Was a consultant. Parent consulting company gave me a $50 gift certificate to Lands End...for working 4 90+ hour weeks, over y2k. No bonus, just that. Never mind the usual 50+ hour weeks.
Fuck them. |
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My ex-wife would buy me clothes she liked for birthdays and Christmas. I am a shorts and t-shirt kinda guy, she would buy me skinny jeans and lame button up shirts. Once she bought be some faggotyass shiny pointy toes shoes.
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Over 20 years ago a GF gave me a suit for Christmas. I had no need for a suit really and was pissed about it. Said nothing and went home early on Christmas eve. Was given a game controller for Christmas, joystick for a computer for playing games. I didn't have a computer at the time nor did I play games. For a wedding present, (been divorced 20 years now) somebody gave us an electric knife. It's still in the back of my cupboard in the original box unopened. WTF am I gonna do with that?
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A stack of Jehovah literature that my cousin gave me when my daughter was born.
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Wedding gift: a massive, super-heavy, solid-brass table ornament of one hand putting a wedding band on another hand.
I sold it for scrap. I got $85 for it. |
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Some time in high school I was given a rocking chair for Christmas. There was no room in my bedroom for a chair. It didn't fit with the furniture for any of the family rooms. The specialty shop where my mom got it didn't accept returns. So it sat in our attic until I moved into my first apartment about four years later.
Even worse, it broke within the first month of actual use. The seat wouldn't stay bolted to the frame and, while rocking, would slide forward enough to fall off the supports and drop the person and seat on the floor. |
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For Christmas one year I received rusted iron wind chimes. From my mother, no less.
She thought they looked like 'art'. Nevermind that I live in a place I couldn't hang them, even if I wanted to. |
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Prior to leaving Afghanistan for the last time, my interpreter gave me a bottle of perfume. Not cologne, perfume.
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A cheap Marilyn Monroe jewelry stand. I don't wear a lot of jewelry and have no particular interest in Marilyn Monroe. It looked like this: http://www.jacquisjewelryboutique.com/i//tn_DSCN3294.JPG View Quote That thing is weird. |
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A cheap Marilyn Monroe jewelry stand. I don't wear a lot of jewelry and have no particular interest in Marilyn Monroe. It looked like this: http://www.jacquisjewelryboutique.com/i//tn_DSCN3294.JPG That thing is weird. It's fucking creepy. I still refer to it as Medusa Monroe. |
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My sister had the idea of having everybody in the family give my wife and me a Christmas ornament at our first Christmas get-together after we got married and got our own place. We got some seriously hideous ornaments. One was a pair of gold-glitter-covered shoes. Who puts shoes on their Christmas tree?
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Quoted: A cheap Marilyn Monroe jewelry stand. I don't wear a lot of jewelry and have no particular interest in Marilyn Monroe. It looked like this: http://www.jacquisjewelryboutique.com/i//tn_DSCN3294.JPG View Quote That looks like a monster in a bad computer game. Put it in front of the snow globe and shoot it. |
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It's fucking creepy. I still refer to it as Medusa Monroe. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
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A cheap Marilyn Monroe jewelry stand. I don't wear a lot of jewelry and have no particular interest in Marilyn Monroe. It looked like this: http://www.jacquisjewelryboutique.com/i//tn_DSCN3294.JPG That thing is weird. It's fucking creepy. I still refer to it as Medusa Monroe. Half of gd would hit it. |
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Quoted: Quoted: My ex-wife would buy me clothes she liked for birthdays and Christmas. I am a shorts and t-shirt kinda guy, she would buy me skinny jeans and lame button up shirts. Once she bought be some faggotyass shiny pointy toes shoes. Hmmmmmmm She has since remarried and that is exactly how her husband dresses from what I have seen. More power to the both of them. |
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Quoted: Maybe he thought you you had a "purdy mouth" View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted: Quoted: Prior to leaving Afghanistan for the last time, my interpreter gave me a bottle of perfume. Not cologne, perfume. You guys spend many Thursdays together? |
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I got a $10 Starbucks gift card at work right when they announced their "please leave your guns home" policy. I wanted to take it to the range & shoot it but the local range has a "please leave your cameras home" policy. I figure I can probably use it to open a lock or chop up some rails or something...
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Quoted: Quoted: My ex-wife would buy me clothes she liked for birthdays and Christmas. I am a shorts and t-shirt kinda guy, she would buy me skinny jeans and lame button up shirts. Once she bought be some faggotyass shiny pointy toes shoes. How long did they last? Good question, I am not sure what became of them. Maybe she kept them and found a man that liked them. She did move to Austin.
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It's fucking creepy. I still refer to it as Medusa Monroe. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
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A cheap Marilyn Monroe jewelry stand. I don't wear a lot of jewelry and have no particular interest in Marilyn Monroe. It looked like this: http://www.jacquisjewelryboutique.com/i//tn_DSCN3294.JPG That thing is weird. It's fucking creepy. I still refer to it as Medusa Monroe. |
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$25.00 gift card to White Castle
Nearest location would have had me driving from Arizona to Kentucky. Took it to one of those exchange machines, turns out the card had never been "activated"(or some such) and was worthless. |
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A cheap Marilyn Monroe jewelry stand. I don't wear a lot of jewelry and have no particular interest in Marilyn Monroe. It looked like this: http://www.jacquisjewelryboutique.com/i//tn_DSCN3294.JPG That thing is weird. It's fucking creepy. I still refer to it as Medusa Monroe. Half of gd would hit it. The male half of Tokyo would line up for that shit. |
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The last Christmas before the ex left. She got me some razor blades.
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My wife got lingerie from my dad/stepmom for our wedding shower.
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Somehow my dad ended up in charge of my 17th birthday present and I got two road flares and a kite. There was a brief moment when I thought the road flares were sticks of dynamite but that high quickly faded as I read the side.
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Three years in a row for Christmas I got the Office Space Box/Gift Set from my brother.
What do I need with 3 DVD's of Office Space, three red staplers, three mouse pads, and three "Jump to Conclusions" mats? |
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Offer of a blow job.
But it wasn't from someone I'd want one from. And he definitely had manhands. |
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Nothing. I stopped getting holiday/ birthday sex years ago and usually get nothing unless I get it for myself. At least now my kids are old enough to make me cards from construction paper and crayons. I really do like getting those.
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although not terrible its just kinda
a lady my wife knows got us a ultra expensive plate/platter its gigantic, it looks like melted glass, its covered in glitter it cant hold anything due to not having any sides it cant hold anything you like because it gets glitter all over everything and it was $$$ I guess you would hang it on the wall as art, but it is ugly as sin currently it sits on our fridge holding dust |
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Sister got me fucking BBQ sauce for Christmas. This after she wrote $2k worth of checks in my name to herself while I was deployed.
Fuck that bitch. |
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although not terrible its just kinda a lady my wife knows got us a ultra expensive plate/platter its gigantic, it looks like melted glass, its covered in glitter it cant hold anything due to not having any sides it cant hold anything you like because it gets glitter all over everything and it was $$$ I guess you would hang it on the wall as art, but it is ugly as sin currently it sits on our fridge holding dust View Quote It's probably a charger for a serving platter. That would be a decorative plate that you put under the useful one for some unknown reason. No purpose other than decoration. More common for dinner plates, but I suppose you could have one for a serving platter. |
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3 Xmas ago wife (now ex) gave me a miniature air hockey table that looked like it came from a gas station.
The next year I got an ugly ass shirt from some discount store that literally shrank to fit one of my daughters after one wash. IIRC, I spent over $1K on her both of those years She told me about he wanting a divorce a couple weeks later (the day after my older daughters bday) She was a stone cold bitch and I'm glad I'm rid of her. |
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A belt. Studded, like punk rock biker style. Used. For my birthday from someone who was supposed to be one of my best friends. Now he's just an asshole who owes me money.
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This thread makes me miss sevenmarythree.
The *worst* one I ever got was a single purple pillow case at my wedding shower. It was from some little old lady friend of the family and maybe it was all she had to give. Makes me tear up. She certainly didn't have to get a gift at all but she did and she got herself dressed and came to my shower without even really knowing me. I'll never forget that one purple pillow case. |
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