Sharting myself infront of my lovely wife.
She came into to give me a good-morning peck on the cheek, tousle my thinning hair and castigate me for making the coffee in my "brake fluid" strength variety again.
Just as she is leaning down to place her lovely smoocher on my stubbly cheek, I say, "Hang on, hun...I got something for ya."
Normally, she would have known better and fled, but it's 5:30AM here and she's still a little groggy. Instead of one of my usually stellar pre-dawn seminefrious emanations...I get a little gas and little of something else.
By the sound alone, she knows something has gone awry. Upon seeing the perplexed look upon my face, she begins to guffaw and says:
"Smooth move, exlax."
I depart the home office, post haste, in a semi-waddling beeline straight for the john.
That is all. Carry on.
Sheep