I will throw in my 2 cents for what it's worth.
As someone who has lived on wrightsville bch and currently lives/owns on the mainland side near the drawbridge - I vote for this area if you can afford it.
I guess it depends on what you want.
around wrightsville it is always going to be desirable - easy to rent out, values will continue to climb etc etc.
The caliber of person living in this area is generally more successful, generally less riff raft since let's be honest it costs more to live here.
Friends in other parts of town comment when they go to the grocery stores near the beach they feel out of place since mostly the patrons are fit,health conscious and good looking -- seemingly well to do.
I am a trade person who bought in 20 years ago when it was affordable - I could not afford to buy here now so I feel lucky to be in such a desirable area.
As for boats I became spoiled since my parents had a slip off causeway when I was younger - once you have been exposed to keeping your boat in the water(or a dry slip I guess) it ruins you. The idea of trailering a boat to a public ramp seems like too much hassle.
I have sold my boat and boating/fishing while fun loses it luster over time so bear that in mind.
Brunswick county seems anything but cool from my perspective ( no offense to Brunswick county guys) I think it's a haven for northern folks escaping the northeast where they can get a lot of house for much cheaper than where they came from.
I have not been across the capefear bridge in years - there is nothing in that area that I need to see,do etc - my work is around the wrightsville/landfall area where there are plenty of folks willing to spend money.
Of the areas you listed the porters neck area seems coolest from my perspective, my parents lived there after getting off the beach. Although that whole area has blown up on market street leading there - hampstead seems cool but it has exploded as well.
People bitch about wilmington traffic but after growing up in a coastal San Diego beach town they apparently have not been in a desirable area where people want to visit,go etc -- it's not that bad but again I am biased since I work in about a 3 mile radius from my home.
Good luck and welcome to the area.