This is my personal Lighthorse Tactical review, and every word of it actually happened just as I wrote it. Every. Word.

So, I had my first class with Lighthorse last night -- their "Friday Night Lights" low / no light live-fire training. I wasn't sure what to expect, but after having seen all the rave reviews in this forum I figured I should give them a try. I know there's a HSLD operator-of-death buried somewhere deep, Deep, DEEP within my gelatinous frame just aching to get out. Curt gave me his personal guarantee that one hour with him and the SEALs would be banging on my door just begging me to sign up... he lied.  

OK, back to reality.

I've only been to one carbine class before, and that was many months ago in a land far, far away. That was the last time I've touched a weapon with any serious intent outside of plugging holes in stationary paper or garnering laughter from local coyotes (I'm telling you... they ARE laughing at me!). In other words, I'm the nervous fat kid that will always get picked last -- more handicap than help, my face never met a dodgeball it didn't like (this factors in later, I kid you not). Fortunately, Curt, Greg and Frank (?) took pity on me and carried me most of the way while not letting out a single snicker that I could hear.

Fully half or more of my classmates were LT retreads. In fact, I think most of them live there and share the same brain. They're all on the same page and their interaction looks almost choreographed. It was a little daunting to watch, but my exceptionally gifted weapon-handling skills garnered me the highest times of anyone there -- can you say: WINNER!  

That's right, girls and boys. I can dump a mag and load a fresh one in 14 seconds flat!

[HINT: There's a button just in front of the trigger on your AR that will "release" the magazine. Who knew?]

I came prepared. I had shiny new G3 Pmags still sealed in their plastic bags and a big can full of bullets. Fortunately, they matched up and once I took the time to cut open my new mags and load them I was (almost) ready to go. Sure, I had never taken the time to sight in my weapon prior to the class, but fuck it -- I'll guess. I mean, really, how far off could it be?

Through all this -- the student from Hades -- somehow they still managed to make it (me) work. The drills were real, not some pie-in-the-sky, Soldier of Fortune, Jason Bourne wannabe scenarios that will never happen. Surprisingly, my rounds went roughly in the direction I was pointing the rifle. I put on a marksmanship clinic by grouping my shots in a nice, tight 2-foot circle from 20 feet away. I call that "combat effective" -- if I'm ever attacked by a gang of hungry "Overeater's Anonymous" flunkies.

I was holding back. My Secret Squirrel was a car full of >$100k worth of the latest and greatest military gizmos that would help my inner operator emerge and take over. Surprisingly, I at least *felt* like I was doing better while my head was rockin' $20k in fusion NV gear and a weapon sporting a .MIL IR frickin' laser beam. Hell yeah, I was owning this night.  

So, after I capped some balloon dude wearing a t-shirt (only took three shots, and he went down hard) and made it rain hellfire and brimstone on some nefarious metal plates, it was time to put all of my newly-learned, finely-honed skills to the test in a "force-on-force" scenario -- a 1-on-3 bad guys holding some teenage girls hostage in a life-threatening situation. I've always thought that killing the hostages would solve the problem the quickest, but apparently the guys at Lighthorse decided to take a different route and actually wanted to "save" them.

I was last to go. I continuously reconnoitered the amateurs that went before me so I'd have the upper hand when my time came. Unfortunately, they swapped my AR out for a paintball gun. Undaunted, I pulled an ATPIAL off one of my rifles and affixed it to the toy. I filled the hopper with like a bazillion paintballs because, after all, this is real life. I donned my nighttime helmet of doom (to my adversaries, that is) and with my souped-up paintball gun I set out to "save" some hostages. Knowing that I was invisible I decided to forgo the silly little facemask that would have otherwise prevented a crucial life experience. This invisibility -- nay, invincibility -- empowered me to do something none of the other pansies in the group ever dreamed of -- skip ducking for cover and barge right down the middle, kicking ass as I go!

IR laser beaming, PVS-15 in full operator mode, I knew where all the bad guys were and they couldn't see me! What could go wrong?

TWHAP! TWHAP! TWHAP! Three paintballs right in the face. How could this be? Sure, I'd rescued the girls, but my chiseled good looks took a slight beating. I persevered like anyone with three shots to the head would and finished the job victorious, foes vanquished.

The swelling will go down in a few days; a week tops, and I'll be back at Lighthorse later this month, if they'll have me. I learned a lot, met some great guys, and was blown away at just how intense the Double Tap Training grounds are. This ain't no part-time range that you have to clear the cows off, this place is the REAL DEAL! Lighthorse will take you right where you are -- even if you've never touched a weapon before. Maybe you're already a super-special short bus door gunner, but I guarantee that you'll learn something.

Lastly, they don't charge enough. Seriously, a class like that for $60?! It's worth WAY more than that. But that's OK, because it'll just allow me to take more classes with them instead of traveling hundreds of miles to some big-name outfit and learning absolutely NOTHING more than what I can / will / have at Lighthorse.

Just take one of their damn courses already. Either that, or pay me $30, give me an hour, and I personally guarantee the SEALs will beat a path to your door looking to hire you.

Great review and quite entertaining.

I've put off taking a class for the longest time. I recently had my SBR approved so I am eager to cut my teeth on a basic carbine class followed by some other classes. I'm looking forward to it.

I've been to their normal day training courses and have been itching to find a way to make it to one if these scheduled courses.

These are four hour short blocks that are focused on a specific skills. There is no way to make a guy a nocturnal predator in such a short time. We hit the ground running, basic skills have to be in place. We work off some of the SF lighting concepts, again the drills drive the focus of the session.

There was a high skill set across the board in this session and the majority of the shooters were LHT Aluminati. I would like to think that past students and the high skill set are relevant to each other, but I think our successful runs on a layered exercise was also because the group showed up switched on. We got a little late start due some late arrivals, but the late guys had taken some pains to get there. I didn't want to step off into the night and have them trying to play catch up in the dark (literally).

The session was LE heavy, which was a good thing to see. We didn't have time to do detailing of various lights and manufacturers...running what you brung is usually what occurs anyway. Running your stuff next to a guy using his stuff is a good way to determine if you need more or have what you need. Shooting at increasing distance while attempting to PID the target was a good test of light set ups.

Tactics Over Technology is what Horta learned as he Darth Vadered into the Valley of the Screaming Nieces...that, and white light attracts attention; ballistic attention sucks.

It was cool to see the coyote slayer's Jack Bauer bag. My dollar store DRMO Jedi gear never got out of the box.

We have 3 more sessions for the next 3 Fridays. You don't have to attend them in order, you just have to know how to work your guns upon arrival.  Registration---www.lighthorsetactical.com- gear requirements on the Facebook page and the thread here.

That was a fantastic read... I can't wait to meet the Horta.

Wow... dude, you need to aim higher.  

So, you pulled a LEEEERRRROOOOOOOYYYYYY JJJJJEEEENNNNNKKKKKIIIIIIIIINNNNSSS?

I am Leeroy Jenkins.  

We will. SEC football is a tough competitor, but December is an option, if the interest is there.

Hate I missed it, sounds like you had a good time and learned a lot.  I'm usually the fat guy running up the middle getting shot in the face.  

I want to play with your toys.  

I would definitely be in for a Saturday series outside of deer season,

I know this will rub some the wrong way, and I'm not trying to personally assault anyone, and yes I'm kind of a dick, but where the fuck are your priorities? How are football and deer a higher priority than being highly proficient with a firearm in any gun owner's life? You say you support the 2A and everyone should own and be proficient with a weapon, but when it comes time to ante up, it takes a back seat to a couch in front of an 80-inch TV or a tree stand 50 yards away from some feeder -- especially with the advent of Tivo and the internet.

Sorry, I know there are plenty of exceptions. Maybe you're already a high-speed, death-dealing monster or comfortable with your level of proficiency. Or you train during the rest of the year and take football or hunting season off to decompress. I only opine because of Sabre's comment that football makes having Saturday training courses difficult because most people would choose football over a course designed to impart skills that may one day save your life -- or at least it's fun as hell, versus watching Alabama lose to Ole Miss on TV.

Sorry brothers. I just can't get my head around it.