Wife might be planning to file for divorce.  I have no family here and make squat.  The first thing I need to do is find a lawyer but I am having trouble affording the retainer.  Does anyone know of any good lawyers for this that doesn't have a huge retainer.  I am in the Parker area.

Try your county Bar Association's website, they probably have a referral service.

Sorry to hear that (unless of course, your happy about it)

Thanks. I'm on the fence. My priority are my kids. This will crush them.  On the other hand I can't take the bipolar manic cycles any longer.  

 

Good luck.

thanks

 

That's called menopause. Counseling and or help from a physician.
One minute everything's great, next you're a piece of shit who doesn't understand or respect her AND her opinion. Keeping in mind all you did was ask if she was going to finish the spinach. If not you would, since there wasn't enough to justify them as leftovers. Just one of many different ways they "blow up" . Be it dinner time, on the way home from a movie, or out of the blue.

HOWEVER
If she's past 56/ over menopause, then perhaps proper help should be the next step.



If counseling / therapy, or meds don't resolve the issue. Using the kids as an excuse isn't the way to go, or should it be.

I've seen folks who "thought" having another kid or staying together "for the kids" would resolve THEIR Issues. Instead it made the kids victims of their parents refusal to do the right thing. Which would have been separating or divorce

 You can't take it, do something.  Depending how long you've been together. IF she's ever held your coat, stepped up when you couldn't, jumped in when it was needed, stood by you through your dark hours. You should try to fix the issues first.



You should also keep any "info" regarding her physical or mental state (as you hinted in your op) off the web.  Especially if it doesn't work and gets messy.  

How old are they? That is everyone's worry. They won't be stoked about it, but they will be ok. If it is not your choice then there isn't much you can do except to be there for your kids.

2 boys 7 and 5. They are my number one priority.

 

Dude that is rough.

I have 5 and 7 G/B. You mentioned bi polar. I am living and parenting with one that I feel displays that, but am working on it.


Man I feel your pain. I have gone back and forth over the last few years. If you can work it out, DO IT. But there is the case where you parenting on your own will pay off in the long run.


Best of luck, feel free to IM me.

I was in almost the exact situation as you about 5 years ago.....my two boys were the same age too. If you can, go to counseling, I think everyone is a little bipolar, but sometimes it's the people around us that make us that way. I am 37, in 5 months my wife and I will be married for 18 years. Some years require more work than others. I am not trying to preach to you in any way, just want to share that I've been there an offer some encouragement. Hang in there and don't forget to be completely honest with yourself......most of the time it takes two to tango.

Thanks. She did file and serve me legal seperation papers on Monday. We had been doing counseling and she decided it wasn't working after 6 sessions.  Apparently we are selling the house now. My problem with that is I can't afford any apartments around here. She is expecting to pay $700-1000 in maintenance and some in child support. While that will help with an apartment I can't trust that she will pay it every month. My credit is terrible because she stopped paying my credit cards two years ago and doesn't pay any bills in either of our names. Even the mortgage is in arrears.  I feel foolish that I allowed it all to happen right under my nose.
 

Dang. Sorry for your situation.

Pay directly to the management co. or landlord.  Along with your attorney insisting ALL checks written for support have a document trail. You want to verify she's paying bills, based on her past failure to make payments.
As for the non-payment of CC's. That's something you could have been on top of.
Other than that, sorry you've hit a rough patch.  

I didn't have a job until recently and she had agreed to pay my cc's.  I was playing stay at home dad for the last two years.

 

Ya that sucks man, hang in there. Things will work out.