A couple of weeks ago I got stopped for speeding. It wasn't really too much over the limit but I guess it was enough to warrant stopping me. It was late at night, about 0200, so I figure he might have been fishing for a DUI but I might be wrong. Maybe he was just bored.

Anyway, I pulled over, hand on the wheel at 12 O'clock, interior light on.

He was polite and asked me what the hurry was. I took one look at him and my gut told me he was a pretty good guy. There was just something about him that said he wasn't easily ruffled.

I looked at him sheepishly.

"I just got a call from my kid sister," I said. "She says my mother won $800 in a wet T-shirt contest. I gotta get my hands on the cash before she either drinks it up or puts it up her nose."

He was grinning when went back to his car and came back with my license, handed it back and told me that was the best excuse he had heard in 14 years on the force.

Make me laugh and it is the easiest way to not get a ticket, unless you're drunk.

Had a kid doing 86 in a 55, in a lifted haggered old toyota pickup.  I asked him if there was a reason he was going that fast.  His answer, "well sir, because it wouldn't go any faster."  Made me laugh, so he got a warning.

The best one I ever had was a guy speeding and his young son was in the car. I walked up and made contact and the kid started chanting.....Dads getting a ticket....dads getting a ticket...dads getting a ticket.  

He got one of those "looks" from dad.

I told him that, that seemed to be enough punishment and told him to listen to his kid and slow down.

You were had by a pair of professionals

"I demand you give me a ticket!"

"No! nobody tells me what to do."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a77Dw3tNv8o