Took my not so-little-anymore girl out bra shopping the other day and it was a nightmare. Poor kid is into a 38DDD. Per our family doc at her annual exam last week, she is 85% percentile height, 97% percentile weight.

I understand losing weight could help trim the size...but does that work with cup sizes (A,B,C,D, etc.)?
I could understand losing band size (34, 36,38 etc.) but I am height weight proportionate for the most part and don't have personal experience in bra size fluctuation.

I am wondering if a consult for a breast reduction surgery could make life any easier on her (ability to find bras that fit vs. frustration/paying more for good fit and possible back pain over time)

She has a pretty good, well-grounded outlook on things, so I am not thinking it would be hard on her self-image. It might even make her feel better about herself. For the record, the way she dresses, she carries it well, and looks proportionate.

(It occurs to me that perhaps she would find it easier to be active/into athletics if she wasn't having to deal with the "gift" of endowment)

Ahhh...  You didn't say anything about HER feelings about it.  You did mention that she might feel better about her herself but is that her thought or yours?  Does it bother her as much as it bothers you?  Also what is her age, that makes quite a difference. Is she actually obese or just big structured?  Some people can be quite fat and still be 'proportionate'.  Her other parents opinion is what?  The doctors opinion?  You make it sound like the real problem is you.

MrsWind went from a C almost D to a B cup after losing about 80 pounds. I had a friend, that had so much pain in her back that she had the surgery. It made her life so much better. Try the weight loss first.

How old is your daughter?

When I read this and see your avatar I

That's funny, I thought this was the women's forum, but everyone with an opinion seems, at first glance, to be male. I wonder why that is. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Although...204 views at this time for the thread? Heeheee, the thought that we would have that many women on the forum, lol. You wacky men, lurking in the women's forum.

I don't know how she feels about her size per se, but I do know how she feels about bra shopping judging from all the bitching emanating out of the dressing rooms, lol. I will ask her, of course, but what I wanted to know was thoughts from the ladies before I go wading into landmine territory.

Edited to add daughter's age: She is 17. And yes, the idea of encouraging her to pursue more physical activity and a healthy approach to diet is the approach by default. I had typed an enormous TL;DR post at first but hit the wrong button on the keyboard in process and lost the whole post. So I posted the short one and did not include the whole back story.

She is more of a social butterfly, musician artsy-type, whereas her brother is a fireball on the fields. The two couldn't be more unalike physically, either. Quite literally, he would vanish when he turned sideways, and yet he eats like a pig. Fortunately for him he has discovered weightlifting in addition to his participation in school sports, and is showing more muscle mass these days. She just doesn't have the metabolism like him, and never was much into athletics. I tried at first with her, encouraging participation in softball, soccer, and track, but she had other ideas. She is very much involved with band, but not having been involved in serious physical pursuits, considers marching to be strenuous exercise. I know she does not eat as much as her brother, but then, she is more sedentary. It isn't the food...we cook pretty healthy in my house. Lots of fruits and vegetables, lean meats, moderate carbs.

I signed us up both for a step aerobics class once and it was a disaster for me. She enjoyed it tremendously but I couldn't keep up because when my legs get fatigued I can't lift them high enough to avoid tripping on the step boards and trying to break my neck. Embarassing to me,  but a side effect of a health condition of mine that I have no control over. When I want to work out these days I swim or lift weights, but she is so social that for her it is drudgery to work out alone. I will talk to her and see if she might like to join a spinning class or another aerobics class on her own...if we did spinning together at least I wouldn't have to worry about falling off the bike and making a spectacle of myself.

We are here because we have much wisdom and are not taken seriously on the man side. I have two daughters, one 31 the other 13, they take after me. Oldest is 5'11, the youngest is almost there and looks to be about  6' when she is done growing. Neither are skinny, oldest started running and sports to get her weight under control. My baby is not skinny but not fat, she plays softball, eats healthy and is no longer bullied as the boys learned they would get their clock cleaned. It is a struggle, she works hard at her weight. Part is she is an honor student and serious about her home work. Oldest is a doctor, youngest is looking at becoming a lawyer.
I am trying to get her into light weights, beware that weight training can cause muscles to push out the other fat layer and make a woman feel bigger. ( you have a layer of fat under your skin)
One pound weights in each hand and doing stretching exercises, also running or fast walking with them develop muscles not bulk. I had the largest Karate/Juijitsu dojo in the area in the 80s. We did all our drills with handweights, stretching, stops (block) and strikes. I had close to 50% of my students being women. I got a lot of feed back on this. Two things stood out, one is they strengthened their back and pec muscles, second there was a loss in cup size. One 35 yo women was very happy about perky but not about having an A cup. Weight machines create more mass, very light weights, high reps, a thousand to start, but 20 exercises of 50 reps with a one pound weight are better than 10 reps of a 100 pounds.

My sister is a 34DDD. She's talked about a reduction too... but she changed her mind after I bought her some proper bras for the first time. She'd been wearing anything that worked - even a 42C.

But here's the thing - those are mighty hard on the boobies, and the way they do it leaves "lollipop" scars. Google it. It's not like an implant where they can go in neatly through the nipple.


My personal opinion is that she should lose some weight, do some nice chest toning exercises, and she can keep her factory breasts. It's cheaper, too.

I have multiple friends who had reductions even after weight loss.  Here is a good litmus test--if your bras tend to cut into your shoulders no matter what--you might need it.  Those cuts into the shoulders are permanent and don't go away.  Back pain and clothes not fitting are other considerations.

Reductions may be paid for with insurance--it's considered medically necessary and not cosmetic.  One lady I was friends with had POUNDS taken off, and for most people, when you're that big, it's uncomfortable.  Your daughter needs to be aware of the scarring too.  There's not a delicate way to do a reduction, and most will leave a line scar from the nipple downward.

I've got big girls. Bigger than your daughter.   Part is extra weight, but most of it is genetics.  Take the girl to a specialty bra shop to be fitted. Makes all the difference in the world.  I wear Wacoal bras that are $65 each but they are actually comfortable and keep the girls up. I said for years I was going to have the reduction  but living on your own makes it difficult. Reduction can affect breastfeeding later on,  I've read. Get a really good bra.  Try Nordstrom.

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One of my classmates was about 5ft even. She was curvy, but extremely top heavy. She hated it b/c she had constant back pain and literally, her chest was the first thing people saw. She went into the Army and when she discharged, got a breast reduction surgery. I ran into her afterwards and hardly knew it was her.  She was so happy b/c she could now buy regular bras and you saw her face first,  not her chest. My point is that she was short enough and could make tape in the Army, so it's not like she could lose weight and bam!, her chest would be smaller. A breast reduction surgery was the only option for her. I did not ask for specifics b/c I figured it was none of my business.

I usually surf by clicking "Active Topics" which is how I saw this thread.  Often times, I click on a thread and post before I notice that I'm outside of what I assumed was GD.  That may be partially responsible in this situation.

Thanks, Marie. We have a Nordstrom local to me, I will see if I can carve out some time to go check them out with her in tow. The brand suggestion is helpful. I hope their products look feminine and not like some kind of industrial forklifts fabbed out of canvas, lol. I'll see if i can find them online. Hopefully, her being seventeen will mean her growth has plateued somewhat and she'll get some use out of those $65 bras before she goes and changes sizes again.

Wacoal bras are available on the Bare Necessities website. They are feminine  looking,  but when the tatas are bigger,  well, bras aren't going to be two scraps of lace and some ribbon.  ;)

Does your daughter know her correct  bra size? If not,  take her and get measured and then order online once you know sizes.  I really suggest a specialty bra shop.  I go to the little  Jewish ladies in a Chicago suburb but they know what they're doing.

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PlaneJane swears by La Perlas.

Most of the other ladies have covered the right move here. I just want to add that at 17 she is pretty young and could still develop some. If she has interest in losing weight I would try that first. She will probably never be a B cup but she might could reduce to a large C. Some of it will be genetics as well. I was a very full DD before I had kids. I gained a bit of weight then lost and even though I'm at the same weight my size is a C and they are very deflated. She may want to consider that before she has surgery.

For what it's worth the girl who played Punky Brewster had breast reduction surgery while still in her teens. I remember that she was very happy about it. Honestly though talk it over with your daughter and see how she feels.

I had it done years ago...

Best  decision ever..
BUT..I was not worried about scars as I was married and I knew he did not care about them.. neither did I.It was such a relief to not having the  back pain anymore, or the indentations on my shoulders and a host of other things that come with heavy breasts..
The doctor told me  that 95% of woman do not know their correct bra size. Most woman wear bras that are way to small....
At this young age.. I would suggest weightloss first.. because the scaring can be an issue at her age..

A GOOD, repeat GOOD bra will help out a lot, and, as someone who hasn't had reduction but has has a big chest her whole life, it will probably help her more than a surgery.  



I do have a severe and open dislike for all things medical so take that as you will.

Losing weight will definitely change cup size as well as band size.  Think of your bra size not as two different measurements, the cup and the band, but as combination of the two. Remember your cup size is based on a ratio of your breast size and chest size so a D cup on a woman with a 34 band size is significantly smaller than a D cup on a woman with a 44 band size even though they are both "D" cups.  So when you lose weight and your body fat disappears it may show more in one area than another but you are still losing body fat from your entire body.  As you lose fat around your whole chest your band size gets smaller but at the same time the fat layer around your breasts is decreasing also, although, at a slower rate.

A lot of women still think if they are a 44DDD they have no choice but breast reduction because even if they lose a lot of weight, they will be stuck with a smaller band size but the same cup size.  That's far from the truth, your breast size WILL decrease as you lose weight.  This is why legitimate plastic surgeons won't do breast reduction on women who are significantly overweight unless all other options have been exhausted.  Your daughters breast size will get significantly smaller with significant weight loss.  It's only when you are "height/weight proportionate" that your breast size stays pretty much the same.