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ThePitbullofLove
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Posted: 12/14/2009 5:29:42 PM

THE IMAGE ABOVE IS A PAID ADVERTISEMENT

Originally Posted By LinggrrLonggrr:
Originally Posted By Lootie23:
I may need the mods to rescue me at some point. Is someone standing by????


Spartanatheart, is that you?


I will use my mistakes against you; there's no other choice
I'm shameless now, I'm nameless now, I'm nothing now, I'm no one now
but my soul must be iron 'cause my fear is naked
I'm naked and fearless
and my fear is naked...
cactoman
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Posted: 12/14/2009 5:31:29 PM
Oh what the hell...

IN
Dilbert_556
When did ignorance become a point of view?
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Posted: 12/14/2009 5:36:36 PM
Originally Posted By cactoman:
Oh what the hell...

IN


With or without lube?
"If I had sheep I wouldn't need lotion.." Fat_McNasty Oct 2009

"Crap! I forgot." - Deej86 Oct 2007
Harvster
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Posted: 12/14/2009 5:36:52 PM
Waiting for SYSTEM MESSAGE lulz.
" I've come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass.......and I'm all out of bubblegum."
HiredHitman
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Posted: 12/14/2009 5:38:33 PM
Originally Posted By Harvster:
Waiting for SYSTEM MESSAGE lulz.


You too?
Hooligan30
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Posted: 12/14/2009 5:38:54 PM
IS ANYONE ELSE PAYING ATTENTION TO SOME OF THE USER NAMES IN THIS THREAD?????

DDiggler
LinggrrLonggrr

LOL...names full of WIN for this thread
dsteelman
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Posted: 12/14/2009 5:41:50 PM
IBTL
Hooligan30
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Posted: 12/14/2009 5:44:36 PM
IBTL - In Before The Lock

or

IBTL - In Before The Lube

Pro-Hunt
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Posted: 12/14/2009 6:02:36 PM
Don't waste your money on lube when you don't have to. All you need to do is tape a picture of a good looking guy over your face so she stays horny for more than a minute or so.
SultanOfBrunei
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Posted: 12/14/2009 6:07:06 PM
Mugbug
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Posted: 12/14/2009 6:24:35 PM
This will not end well.....
dropbass
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Posted: 12/14/2009 6:28:36 PM
Originally Posted By the_ak_kid:
Astroglide.



Seriously.



+1 - that stuff rocks
tripleplay
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Posted: 12/14/2009 6:33:45 PM
Originally Posted By CBcap:
Screwing for 13 hours, huh? Scratch my previous suggestion. You need to install grease zerks, and coat with NeverSeize.

What torque spec are you using?


Why, the one that busts a nut of course!
Hammer2Fall
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Posted: 12/14/2009 6:35:52 PM
Originally Posted By Zhukov:

Originally Posted By Lootie23:
Originally Posted By Zhukov:
Is this a pathetic attempt to display your male prowess? Can a woman even maintain natural lubrication for that long?

I know this is Arfcom and all, where all guys actively hump their women for 3 hours straight without stopping, but seriously...


Dude, I said 30 minutes not 3 hours. And if a woman could maintain natural lube that long I wouldn't be asking.

Just saying:

Dr. Irwin Goldstein, editor of the Journal of Sexual Medicine, cited afour-week study of 1,500 couples in 2005 that found the median time forsexual intercourse was 7.3 minutes. (Women were armed with stopwatches.)

Source

It says the optimal time is 3 to 13 minutes. God willing, I'll eventually make those extra two minutes and I'll be on the low end of the optimal scale.






"Grief is a hone to a hard mind." --J.R.R. Tolkein

'You had better get your horns sheathed in metal, Ram.'-
Spartan King Cleomenes to Regent Crius of Aegina
justsayin
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Posted: 12/14/2009 6:37:35 PM
Dude.......

Alabama: That the great, general and essential principles of liberty and free government may be recognized and established, we declare....That every citizen has a right to bear arms in defense of himself and the state. (Art. I, § 26)
Switchh
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Posted: 12/14/2009 6:40:45 PM
+ + =
paul1911
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Posted: 12/14/2009 6:50:12 PM
Originally Posted By Zhukov:


The Zima on your shopping list should have been the first clue.


ZIMA!
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IDPA SO & NRA RSO
popnfresh
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Posted: 12/14/2009 7:05:18 PM
[Last Edit: 12/14/2009 7:06:44 PM by popnfresh]
Ideal ClearGlide® Wire Pulling Lubricant $5 a quart at Lowes, same as water based "personal lubricants"

CWO
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Posted: 12/14/2009 7:06:35 PM
Originally Posted By mcnielsen:
Militec-1 ZMax will embed itself in your penis and make it permanently more lubricated.









This only works, unfortunately, if your penis is made of steel.


"The only failure of Liberty is that it does not automatically bestow honor, good character, self-discipline and personal responsibility upon its owner."
Retic
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Posted: 12/14/2009 7:07:01 PM
in
Marksman14
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Posted: 12/14/2009 7:13:40 PM
If shes drying up on you, you're doin it wrong
FZ1Steve
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Posted: 12/14/2009 7:16:16 PM
Mobile 1
RarestRX
Papa Bear
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Posted: 12/14/2009 7:23:32 PM

I thought this thread was about wheel bearing grease that didn't catch on fire...

Refute Beck's research, expose his facts, do ANYTHING but sit there on your fuckin' fat ass and arm-chair quarterback a guy who is at war on our behalf. - Redhead Infidel
Dragracer
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Posted: 12/14/2009 7:31:15 PM
Apply the lube before all of the parts are rubbed raw to prevent burning.


Jeff4187
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Posted: 12/14/2009 7:35:25 PM
Anything more than 2-4 minutes is just showing off.
FLaviator
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Posted: 12/14/2009 7:38:31 PM
In!!! Potentially epic here.
Lootie23
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Posted: 12/14/2009 7:45:18 PM
Originally Posted By Pro-Hunt:
Don't waste your money on lube when you don't have to. All you need to do is tape a picture of a good looking guy over your face so she stays horny for more than a minute or so.


Dude, that hurts.
Dilbert_556
When did ignorance become a point of view?
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Posted: 12/14/2009 7:48:06 PM
Originally Posted By Lootie23:
Originally Posted By Pro-Hunt:
Don't waste your money on lube when you don't have to. All you need to do is tape a picture of a good looking guy over your face so she stays horny for more than a minute or so.


Dude, that hurts.


Worse than a road rashed johnson?
"If I had sheep I wouldn't need lotion.." Fat_McNasty Oct 2009

"Crap! I forgot." - Deej86 Oct 2007
andrasik
Don't tax me bro!
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Posted: 12/14/2009 7:49:04 PM
Originally Posted By Jeff4187:
Anything more than 2-4 minutes is just showing off.


I am merely giving you a warning. Those who wish to deal with me, must do so on my terms or not at all. I do not make terms with incompetence.
Lootie23
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Posted: 12/14/2009 7:49:27 PM
As bad as carpet burn.
mEnTL32
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Posted: 12/14/2009 7:52:14 PM
Lootie23
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Posted: 12/14/2009 7:53:18 PM
Okay, I've got some ideas now. Thanks guys. Nothing more to see here. We can let this die before night crew gets a hold of it. pls?
Jeff4187
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Posted: 12/14/2009 7:53:49 PM
Originally Posted By andrasik:
Originally Posted By Jeff4187:
Anything more than 2-4 minutes is just showing off.




WTF, that's the same face my wife makes when I say that to her.
Bob243
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Posted: 12/14/2009 7:56:54 PM
[Last Edit: 12/14/2009 10:46:33 PM by Bob243]


Mix the following

Beeswax 2 oz.
Castor Oil 8 oz.
Murphy's Oil Soap 1 oz.


GLOCKshooter
MonkeyDog
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Posted: 12/14/2009 7:57:36 PM
Willy: What the hell you need ball bearings for?
Fletch: Awww, come on guys, it's so simple. Maybe you need a refresher course.
Fletch: Hey! It's all ball bearings nowadays. Now you prepare that Fetzer valve with some 3-in-1 oil and some gauze pads. And I'm gonna need 'bout ten quarts of anti-freeze, preferably Prestone. No, no make that Quaker State.
Either run for your lives, surrender, or stand up and fight...
BayEagle
ó Dhia gach aon cabhair
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Posted: 12/14/2009 9:05:28 PM

Originally Posted By GLOCKshooter:
Willy:What the hell you need ball bearings for?
Fletch:Awww, come on guys, it's so simple. Maybe you need a refresher course.
Fletch:Hey! It's all ball bearings nowadays. Now you prepare that Fetzer valvewith some 3-in-1 oil and some gauze pads. And I'm gonna need 'bout tenquarts of anti-freeze, preferably Prestone. No, no make that QuakerState.

I had a friend who said that aaaaaaaaaaallllll the time. I could never place what movie it was and he couldn't even remember, lol.
"Al-taqiyya" means that no non-Muslim can believe anything told to them by any Muslim. For that Muslim to lie to you counts as a 'good work' to gain salvation.

Originally Posted By Subnet:
"At this point, I'd take one from StonerS
skunk-ape
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Posted: 12/14/2009 9:08:11 PM
have yourself powder coated
Now remember, things look bad and it looks like you're not gonna make it, then you gotta get mean.
I mean plumb, mad-dog mean. Cause if you lose your head and you give up then you neither live nor win. That's just the way it is.
hobbsar
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Posted: 12/14/2009 9:08:27 PM
Rub your stick with bacon.
Growing old is inevitible. Growing up is optional.
Couch-Commando
Wildcats can kiss my Pitchfork!!!
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Posted: 12/14/2009 9:10:03 PM
[Last Edit: 12/14/2009 9:11:44 PM by Couch-Commando]

Originally Posted By Lootie23:
Sometimes after 30 minutes or so, friction burns start to come on. The KY seems to leave a burning sensation on the sides of the penis, mostly at the base, making sex uncomfortable. Anyone use anything that doesn't burn like fire?

I live with the burn. Still more pleasant than going without the lube.

ETA: I think it's a lube inside the condom issue. I put lube in the condom. If I don't, it's painful. My GF takes care of the rest.
"Extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice... and moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue." -Barry Goldwater
"Silly boy, tits are for kids!" -My GF.
E-Mag
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Posted: 12/14/2009 9:13:14 PM
Actually this stuff is good Gun oil they have both silicone and water based versions.

OR

If you believe every thig is better with bacon

LINK
jim
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Posted: 12/14/2009 9:15:55 PM
mix lube with some cocoa butter.
kap_x
Uncle Grandpa
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Posted: 12/14/2009 9:28:02 PM
[Last Edit: 12/14/2009 9:29:22 PM by kap_x]
Just get a turkey baster or one of those ear-cleaning bulbs and fill it with astroglide.
After a while, give it a squirt and keep on going.
Use a 12ga shell to plug yourself up if you start leaking after the switch-off
Adversary of day. Conqueror of night. Detractor of time itself.
Drawn is a fine line bifurcating brilliance and madness. I am that line.

paddle3: "fondling" gives me more pleasure than firing.
WayneD
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Posted: 12/14/2009 9:35:29 PM
[Last Edit: 12/14/2009 9:36:53 PM by WayneD]
Buy in quantity.......

Striving to be the man my dog thinks I am.
TexRdnec
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Posted: 12/14/2009 9:39:06 PM
Originally Posted By Lootie23:
Okay, I've got some ideas now. Thanks guys. Nothing more to see here. We can let this die before night crew gets a hold of it. pls?




Originally Posted By Jarhead_22:
When TexRdnec is the voice of moderation, you know you have swerved over the double yellow line and are headed into oncoming traffic.
CBcap
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Posted: 12/14/2009 9:42:38 PM
"Just get a turkey baster..."

I couldn't read any more after this!

EPIC WIN
wganz
Darwin's Little Helper. كافž
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Posted: 12/14/2009 10:04:19 PM

I needed this laugh tonight.
צבאות
Darwin's Little Helper.
Molon-Labe
Non-perfidious saucy wench
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Posted: 12/14/2009 10:07:16 PM


I see the anal lube is right after the Zima, just like in real life!





OP: Astroglide
Well-behaved women rarely make history.

A little knowledge is a dangerous thing; drink deep, or taste not the Pierian spring.
Molon-Labe
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Posted: 12/14/2009 10:13:23 PM

Originally Posted By Zhukov:

Originally Posted By Lootie23:
Originally Posted By Zhukov:
Is this a pathetic attempt to display your male prowess? Can a woman even maintain natural lubrication for that long?

I know this is Arfcom and all, where all guys actively hump their women for 3 hours straight without stopping, but seriously...


Dude, I said 30 minutes not 3 hours. And if a woman could maintain natural lube that long I wouldn't be asking.

Just saying:

Dr. Irwin Goldstein, editor of the Journal of Sexual Medicine, cited afour-week study of 1,500 couples in 2005 that found the median time forsexual intercourse was 7.3 minutes. (Women were armed with stopwatches.)

Source

It says the optimal time is 3 to 13 minutes. God willing, I'll eventually make those extra two minutes and I'll be on the low end of the optimal scale.


http://sexuality.about.com/od/anatomyresponse/a/average_penis.htm


Then you'll just need to work on those extra 2" and you'll be golden!
Well-behaved women rarely make history.

A little knowledge is a dangerous thing; drink deep, or taste not the Pierian spring.
Hmann
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Posted: 12/14/2009 10:20:20 PM
what the hell, IBTL

JarheadPatriot
I got kicked out of recess, 'cause I don't play!
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Posted: 12/14/2009 10:23:56 PM
I made it!
WHAT NOW?

2nd BN, D Co., Plt. 2025, 4/4/88

Charlie don't surf! And neither does Mohammed!
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