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Link Posted: 12/14/2009 12:29:42 PM EST

Originally Posted By LinggrrLonggrr:
Originally Posted By Lootie23:
I may need the mods to rescue me at some point. Is someone standing by????


Spartanatheart, is that you?


Link Posted: 12/14/2009 12:31:29 PM EST
Oh what the hell...

IN
Link Posted: 12/14/2009 12:36:36 PM EST
Originally Posted By cactoman:
Oh what the hell...

IN


With or without lube?
Link Posted: 12/14/2009 12:36:52 PM EST
Waiting for SYSTEM MESSAGE lulz.
Link Posted: 12/14/2009 12:38:33 PM EST
Originally Posted By Harvster:
Waiting for SYSTEM MESSAGE lulz.


You too?
Link Posted: 12/14/2009 12:38:54 PM EST
IS ANYONE ELSE PAYING ATTENTION TO SOME OF THE USER NAMES IN THIS THREAD?????

DDiggler
LinggrrLonggrr

LOL...names full of WIN for this thread
Link Posted: 12/14/2009 12:41:50 PM EST
IBTL
Link Posted: 12/14/2009 12:44:36 PM EST
IBTL - In Before The Lock

or

IBTL - In Before The Lube

Link Posted: 12/14/2009 1:02:36 PM EST
Don't waste your money on lube when you don't have to. All you need to do is tape a picture of a good looking guy over your face so she stays horny for more than a minute or so.
Link Posted: 12/14/2009 1:07:06 PM EST
Link Posted: 12/14/2009 1:24:35 PM EST
This will not end well.....
Link Posted: 12/14/2009 1:28:36 PM EST
Originally Posted By the_ak_kid:
Astroglide.



Seriously.



+1 - that stuff rocks
Link Posted: 12/14/2009 1:33:45 PM EST
Originally Posted By CBcap:
Screwing for 13 hours, huh? Scratch my previous suggestion. You need to install grease zerks, and coat with NeverSeize.

What torque spec are you using?


Why, the one that busts a nut of course!
Link Posted: 12/14/2009 1:35:52 PM EST
Originally Posted By Zhukov:

Originally Posted By Lootie23:
Originally Posted By Zhukov:
Is this a pathetic attempt to display your male prowess? Can a woman even maintain natural lubrication for that long?

I know this is Arfcom and all, where all guys actively hump their women for 3 hours straight without stopping, but seriously...


Dude, I said 30 minutes not 3 hours. And if a woman could maintain natural lube that long I wouldn't be asking.

Just saying:

Dr. Irwin Goldstein, editor of the Journal of Sexual Medicine, cited afour-week study of 1,500 couples in 2005 that found the median time forsexual intercourse was 7.3 minutes. (Women were armed with stopwatches.)

Source

It says the optimal time is 3 to 13 minutes. God willing, I'll eventually make those extra two minutes and I'll be on the low end of the optimal scale.






Link Posted: 12/14/2009 1:37:35 PM EST
Dude.......

Link Posted: 12/14/2009 1:50:12 PM EST
Originally Posted By Zhukov:


The Zima on your shopping list should have been the first clue.


ZIMA!
Link Posted: 12/14/2009 2:05:18 PM EST
[Last Edit: 12/14/2009 2:06:44 PM EST by popnfresh]
Ideal ClearGlide® Wire Pulling Lubricant $5 a quart at Lowes, same as water based "personal lubricants"

Link Posted: 12/14/2009 2:06:35 PM EST
Originally Posted By mcnielsen:
Militec-1 ZMax will embed itself in your penis and make it permanently more lubricated.









This only works, unfortunately, if your penis is made of steel.


Link Posted: 12/14/2009 2:07:01 PM EST
in
Link Posted: 12/14/2009 2:13:40 PM EST
If shes drying up on you, you're doin it wrong
Link Posted: 12/14/2009 2:16:16 PM EST
Mobile 1
Link Posted: 12/14/2009 2:23:32 PM EST

I thought this thread was about wheel bearing grease that didn't catch on fire...

Link Posted: 12/14/2009 2:31:15 PM EST
Apply the lube before all of the parts are rubbed raw to prevent burning.


Link Posted: 12/14/2009 2:35:25 PM EST
Anything more than 2-4 minutes is just showing off.
Link Posted: 12/14/2009 2:38:31 PM EST
In!!! Potentially epic here.
Link Posted: 12/14/2009 2:45:18 PM EST
Originally Posted By Pro-Hunt:
Don't waste your money on lube when you don't have to. All you need to do is tape a picture of a good looking guy over your face so she stays horny for more than a minute or so.


Dude, that hurts.
Link Posted: 12/14/2009 2:48:06 PM EST
Originally Posted By Lootie23:
Originally Posted By Pro-Hunt:
Don't waste your money on lube when you don't have to. All you need to do is tape a picture of a good looking guy over your face so she stays horny for more than a minute or so.


Dude, that hurts.


Worse than a road rashed johnson?
Link Posted: 12/14/2009 2:49:04 PM EST
Originally Posted By Jeff4187:
Anything more than 2-4 minutes is just showing off.


Link Posted: 12/14/2009 2:49:27 PM EST
As bad as carpet burn.
Link Posted: 12/14/2009 2:52:14 PM EST
Link Posted: 12/14/2009 2:53:18 PM EST
Okay, I've got some ideas now. Thanks guys. Nothing more to see here. We can let this die before night crew gets a hold of it. pls?
Link Posted: 12/14/2009 2:53:49 PM EST
Originally Posted By andrasik:
Originally Posted By Jeff4187:
Anything more than 2-4 minutes is just showing off.




WTF, that's the same face my wife makes when I say that to her.
Link Posted: 12/14/2009 2:56:54 PM EST
[Last Edit: 12/14/2009 5:46:33 PM EST by Bob243]


Mix the following

Beeswax 2 oz.
Castor Oil 8 oz.
Murphy's Oil Soap 1 oz.


Link Posted: 12/14/2009 2:57:36 PM EST
Willy: What the hell you need ball bearings for?
Fletch: Awww, come on guys, it's so simple. Maybe you need a refresher course.
Fletch: Hey! It's all ball bearings nowadays. Now you prepare that Fetzer valve with some 3-in-1 oil and some gauze pads. And I'm gonna need 'bout ten quarts of anti-freeze, preferably Prestone. No, no make that Quaker State.
Link Posted: 12/14/2009 4:05:28 PM EST

Originally Posted By GLOCKshooter:
Willy:What the hell you need ball bearings for?
Fletch:Awww, come on guys, it's so simple. Maybe you need a refresher course.
Fletch:Hey! It's all ball bearings nowadays. Now you prepare that Fetzer valvewith some 3-in-1 oil and some gauze pads. And I'm gonna need 'bout tenquarts of anti-freeze, preferably Prestone. No, no make that QuakerState.

I had a friend who said that aaaaaaaaaaallllll the time. I could never place what movie it was and he couldn't even remember, lol.
Link Posted: 12/14/2009 4:08:11 PM EST
have yourself powder coated
Link Posted: 12/14/2009 4:08:27 PM EST
Rub your stick with bacon.
Link Posted: 12/14/2009 4:10:03 PM EST
[Last Edit: 12/14/2009 4:11:44 PM EST by Couch-Commando]

Originally Posted By Lootie23:
Sometimes after 30 minutes or so, friction burns start to come on. The KY seems to leave a burning sensation on the sides of the penis, mostly at the base, making sex uncomfortable. Anyone use anything that doesn't burn like fire?

I live with the burn. Still more pleasant than going without the lube.

ETA: I think it's a lube inside the condom issue. I put lube in the condom. If I don't, it's painful. My GF takes care of the rest.
Link Posted: 12/14/2009 4:13:14 PM EST
Actually this stuff is good Gun oil they have both silicone and water based versions.

OR

If you believe every thig is better with bacon

LINK
Link Posted: 12/14/2009 4:15:55 PM EST
mix lube with some cocoa butter.
Link Posted: 12/14/2009 4:28:02 PM EST
[Last Edit: 12/14/2009 4:29:22 PM EST by kap_x]
Just get a turkey baster or one of those ear-cleaning bulbs and fill it with astroglide.
After a while, give it a squirt and keep on going.
Use a 12ga shell to plug yourself up if you start leaking after the switch-off
Link Posted: 12/14/2009 4:35:29 PM EST
[Last Edit: 12/14/2009 4:36:53 PM EST by WayneD]
Buy in quantity.......

Link Posted: 12/14/2009 4:39:06 PM EST
Originally Posted By Lootie23:
Okay, I've got some ideas now. Thanks guys. Nothing more to see here. We can let this die before night crew gets a hold of it. pls?




Link Posted: 12/14/2009 4:42:38 PM EST
"Just get a turkey baster..."

I couldn't read any more after this!

EPIC WIN
Link Posted: 12/14/2009 5:04:19 PM EST

I needed this laugh tonight.
Link Posted: 12/14/2009 5:07:16 PM EST


I see the anal lube is right after the Zima, just like in real life!

OP: Astroglide
Link Posted: 12/14/2009 5:13:23 PM EST

Originally Posted By Zhukov:

Originally Posted By Lootie23:
Originally Posted By Zhukov:
Is this a pathetic attempt to display your male prowess? Can a woman even maintain natural lubrication for that long?

I know this is Arfcom and all, where all guys actively hump their women for 3 hours straight without stopping, but seriously...


Dude, I said 30 minutes not 3 hours. And if a woman could maintain natural lube that long I wouldn't be asking.

Just saying:

Dr. Irwin Goldstein, editor of the Journal of Sexual Medicine, cited afour-week study of 1,500 couples in 2005 that found the median time forsexual intercourse was 7.3 minutes. (Women were armed with stopwatches.)

Source

It says the optimal time is 3 to 13 minutes. God willing, I'll eventually make those extra two minutes and I'll be on the low end of the optimal scale.


http://sexuality.about.com/od/anatomyresponse/a/average_penis.htm


Then you'll just need to work on those extra 2" and you'll be golden!
Link Posted: 12/14/2009 5:20:20 PM EST
what the hell, IBTL

Link Posted: 12/14/2009 5:23:56 PM EST
I made it!
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