Tales from the ambulance...or, post your cool fire/ems/leo stories update p 12. - Page 2

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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Tales from the ambulance...or, post your cool fire/ems/leo stories update p 12. (Page 2 of 6)

Posted: 4/26/2008 6:36:59 PM EDT

[#1]

i own my own page 3 without an edit.

Posted: 4/26/2008 7:03:15 PM EDT

[#2]

Quoted:

Quoted:
Couple weeks ago... I responded to an attempted suicide. Guy had used a 28" Wingmaster Shotgun to try to kill himself. The gun barrel was so long that when the guy tried to put his mouth over the barrel and pull the trigger, he had problems squaring up his line of fire and blew off the left side of his face, resulting in a non-fatal wound.

The scene was made secure and fire and medics began to bandage the guys face and head. While they were working on the guy, he was seated up right in a chair and conscious. He asked one of the fire guys, "Is it really that bad?"

My partner and I just looked at each other and started cracking up. My partner yelled at the guy, "You tried to blow your head off with a 12 gauge.... taking half your face off... yes it's that bad."

that sounds exactly like what happened to the guy i was talking about.

yeah.... seems like it's a pretty common thing.

I've seen crime scene pics from an identical one here, and a friend swears he responded to another one quite a few years ago of similar nature.

In the crime scene pics I looked at, the guy looked remarkably similar to the ones that used to be on ogrish.com, and the emergency center in the background looks amazingly identical to the old ER here before it was renovated.

Posted: 4/26/2008 9:16:32 PM EDT

[#3]

Posted: 4/26/2008 9:47:15 PM EDT

[#4]

tag for more interesting stories of folks who aimed up instead of back...

Posted: 4/26/2008 10:17:35 PM EDT

[#5]

Quoted:
My boss at my old job was also a firefighter for one of the small towns in the area and had some funny dispatcher stories. One was a tone out for a seizure at a burger king. Dispatcher calls out on the radio "We have a flopper at the Whopper" Guy was fired on the spot. Next one took place at the local porn shop, man suffered a stroke. My boss said they couldn't stop laughing all the way to the scene at the words "We have a STROKE victim at the porn shop"

I didn't know they actually would fire people over something like that.

I'd just say he had a good sense of humor.

Posted: 4/26/2008 10:37:20 PM EDT

[#6]

I liked the one my nephew's GF told me about when she was doing her duty in the ER. Some really fat gal comes in complaining of abdominal pain. Her husband was with her complaining about how she is always eating when she is supposed to be on a diet - and how she is always hiding food in the house to eat when he was at work - and how he always had to "clear the house" of food before he left to make sure she didn't overeat herself into further oblivion.

I don't remember what the real medical problem ended up being, but there was a suspicious item in the x-rays they took in ER. Finally it was found to be a twinkie she had hidden in one of the folds of her stomach - and subsequently forgotten about.............

Posted: 4/26/2008 10:43:46 PM EDT

[#7]

Quoted:

Quoted:
My boss at my old job was also a firefighter for one of the small towns in the area and had some funny dispatcher stories. One was a tone out for a seizure at a burger king. Dispatcher calls out on the radio "We have a flopper at the Whopper" Guy was fired on the spot. Next one took place at the local porn shop, man suffered a stroke. My boss said they couldn't stop laughing all the way to the scene at the words "We have a STROKE victim at the porn shop"

I didn't know they actually would fire people over something like that.

I'd just say he had a good sense of humor.

i guess they frown on putting that out over the radio.

Posted: 4/26/2008 10:47:42 PM EDT

[#8]

We had a guy call in on 911 recently to report that his drug dealer hadn't delivered his weed this week.

I arrested him for misuse of the 911 system.

Posted: 4/26/2008 11:07:18 PM EDT

[#9]

I don't volunteer any more, but I have a few stories from when I did. Nothing too great, my district tended to suck as far as interesting calls went, but there were a few funny incidents.

Went on a call for a guy who'd smoked some weed and had a bad reaction to it - I'm surprised he called the ambulance, but whatever. While in the back of the ambulance, he kept saying "Am I gonna die? I think I'm gonna die!" Then his foot started twitching, and he felt the need to inform me "I can't stop moving my foot!" I told him "Then don't. Just keep moving it." "When can I stop moving it?" "When we get to the hospital." He eventually stopped moving it.

The dispatcher once said "Respond to ____ for a medic-indicated stroking," rather than "stroke." This generated a lot of laughter among our crew.

Too many old people with various falls, difficulty breathing, chest pain, and generalized sicknesses to count.

I'm tired and can't remember another good one right now, although I know I have some.

Posted: 4/26/2008 11:13:45 PM EDT

[#10]

I was among those working in the ER who responded to a code three surgery shock about a week ago. I don't know if this kind of classification is common to all trauma centers, but the code threes are called when extra bad things have gone down, and everybody from the attending physician on down responds to those. This guy had been stabbed in the left chest and was showing all the signs of a pericardial tamponade, so the attending promptly performed a thoracotomy and started hunting around in the chest for the problem.

So basically there are three surgeons up at the guy's chest looking for the hole in his heart, about four or five anesthesiologists making sure the guy isn't gonna stop breathing any time soon, the EMS and HPD folks are sticking around telling the story of how they picked him up to whoever will listen, several nurses trying to help out with paperwork or getting stuff, a few more residents standing around just in case they're needed, a couple of my fellow medical students helping out with paperwork, and me, all crammed into the shock room. And there's blood all over the floor - the anesthesiologists are hanging bags of blood one right after another and the stuff is flowing into his arm and straight out his chest onto the floor.

About two minutes into the shock, the attending calls for a Foley catheter to be placed, and yours truly is the man for the job, as I happened to be standing right at the guy's right hip. At any minute now I know they're going to wheel the guy into the elevator and take him up to the OR, so I'm placing this catheter faster than I've ever done before. I mean, I'm ramming this catheter in like a Napoleonic soldier reloading for the next volley. I finish just in time, because literally just as I inflate the balloon the surgeon completes a temporary closure of the hole in the heart, the bed is unlocked, and the patient whisked off to the elevator, with the surgeon still wrist deep in his chest, pumping the heart.

That was about as hectic as it got my two weeks during that rotation. I'm sure I'll see some other crazy stuff when I'm back there again.

Posted: 4/26/2008 11:26:23 PM EDT

[#11]

Tag.

Posted: 4/26/2008 11:59:31 PM EDT

[#12]

A paremedic friend related this one to me. He and his partner responded to a call of an elderly man having a heart attack. The scene they arrived at was a large family celebration for a couples 50th wedding anniverary. The party was at a church hall with family and friends galore. The couple was in a back room waiting to greet their guests and grandma decided to give grandpa some anniversary mouth lovin. He came and went at the same time. He said the whole family knew what had happened and that grandma was standing there with her teeth in her hand when they arrived.

Posted: 4/27/2008 12:07:44 AM EDT

[#13]

Quoted:
A paremedic friend related this one to me. He and his partner responded to a call of an elderly man having a heart attack. The scene they arrived at was a large family celebration for a couples 50th wedding anniverary. The party was at a church hall with family and friends galore. The couple was in a back room waiting to greet their guests and grandma decided to give grandpa some anniversary mouth lovin. He came and went at the same time. He said the whole family knew what had happened and that grandma was standing there with her teeth in her hand when they arrived.

mmm......a gummer

Posted: 4/27/2008 12:18:30 AM EDT

[#14]

About two years ago on Ft. Hood we had a call to assist EMS at a unit in 1CD. Nothing big but EMS always wants the police there when they go to the barracks at night. Well, some young E2 who was constantly screwing up had extra duty that night. He told the CQ he was going to the latrine. Quite some time later the CQ goes to find him. Not in the bathroom, not in the offices, where could he be? The CQ eventually found him in the mop closet. Seems that he went in there to "rub one out". The problem was is that jerking off in the mop closet just wasn't stimulating enough for this winner. So he put the handle of a toilet brush up his ass!

Well, if you've been in the military you know that the supply issue toilet brush has a plain jane wooden handle. This unit was more high speed. Somebody had bought a nice, plastic handled brush. And the end of the handle had a hook molded into it! Needless to say, the brush was stuck and the PV2 was too scared/embarrassed to get help! So EMS had to take him out face down on the stretcher with a sheet over him. Can you say tent? It was the most hilarious thing I'd seen in years.

At the ER, the doc apparently decided that the hook had caught up on something important and surgery was required. According to the ER nurse, they gave him an epidural (just like pregnant women get) and while they waited for it to take effect, out popped the brush!!!

I hope they moved this kid to another post because there is no way in hell to ever live something like that down.
BTW, I'm a cop, not EMS. All medical jargon, lingo and followup are as told to me by medical personnel. I wasn't at the hospital for this, I got it all from the nurse. So don't flame me if something sounds wrong or odd.

Posted: 4/27/2008 12:28:52 AM EDT

[#15]

Quoted:
We recently had a call to the PD for a report of a beaver swimming in the ocean

I can't go anywhere

Posted: 4/27/2008 12:29:34 AM EDT

[#16]

I had been an Rn for a couple years and decided to go get my NREMT-P and while on
a clinical rotation I was assigned to a(really) small town ED that was the base for EMS and took calls for County Fire service.

I was with the dispatcher at the time (which was feet from the exam rooms at the ED) so I heard the call come in..and calls to Fire and Police

Drunk belligerent guy calls.." I need an ambulance because Im gonna kill this kid for fucking my wife!" blah,blah blah (he wasnt actually drunk but crying)

Dispatcher tones EMS ,which is the next room over,

and signals for Fire and Police!

So we jump in the truck and take off!

Of course EMS is always on scene first (before police)

Normally we will wait until police arrived at least to clear the scene on a call of a domestic or GSW but we jumped out and look to make contact with the complainant or patient who ever was first..

We get up to the front door and we hear a little yelling (male to female) and so we knock and announce "EMS"

Guy comes to the door and is about 6'5" 275 and is crying like a baby!! sweating like a faucet and tells us he is gonna kill this fucking kid if he can catch him!

The kid was about 5'8" 165 and had been banging the big fucker's wife while he was at work...by the time we had got there he chased the kid all over the house and finally up on the roof of a shed..If the big guy had caught him..no doubt he would torn the little guy to shreds!

So Police finally get there and coax the kid down.. so we are standing there between two cars getting ready to D5 the call.. and the big guy goes for him...kid takes off in a sprint makes it about 10 steps to get away and has a FUCKING MI..keels over fucking dead as four O'Clock!

Big guy said' " I TOLD YOU I WAS GONNA KILL HIS ASS!!!"

We worked the little guy's ass for about 45 minutes all the way back to the ED with CPR and Cardioversion until he showed V-tach, the whole time pushing the meds,he degenerated down to VF and throwing a few PVC's.. then on to the ICU/PACU

That is the first time I had seen some one literally Scared to death!

Posted: 4/27/2008 12:51:42 AM EDT

[#17]

Ok the other story from paramedic friend.

He responds to a call for a probable heart attack, arrive to find a mid 50's male on the floor of the apartment early 30's hotty GF made the call to 911. She relates that they were in the middle of lovemaking when he grabbed his chest and went out. She is there in her little silk robe and he is nekid, They hit him with the paddles and partner nudges him and says that when he hit him with the paddles he "shoots" a little. They are loading him up when they notice a tripod with camcorder still running. They knew the guy was gone and let the PD know outside that the whole thing was caught on tape.

Posted: 4/27/2008 6:58:27 AM EDT

[#18]

Quoted:
Ok the other story from paramedic friend.

He responds to a call for a probable heart attack, arrive to find a mid 50's male on the floor of the apartment early 30's hotty GF made the call to 911. She relates that they were in the middle of lovemaking when he grabbed his chest and went out. She is there in her little silk robe and he is nekid, They hit him with the paddles and partner nudges him and says that when he hit him with the paddles he "shoots" a little. They are loading him up when they notice a tripod with camcorder still running. They knew the guy was gone and let the PD know outside that the whole thing was caught on tape.

Now THAT could be a popular viral video!

Sorry, that was a little morbid.

Posted: 4/27/2008 7:12:03 AM EDT

[#19]

Quoted:
Ok the other story from paramedic friend.

He responds to a call for a probable heart attack, arrive to find a mid 50's male on the floor of the apartment early 30's hotty GF made the call to 911. She relates that they were in the middle of lovemaking when he grabbed his chest and went out. She is there in her little silk robe and he is nekid, They hit him with the paddles and partner nudges him and says that when he hit him with the paddles he "shoots" a little. They are loading him up when they notice a tripod with camcorder still running. They knew the guy was gone and let the PD know outside that the whole thing was caught on tape.

"Let's go to the video-TAPE!"

Posted: 4/27/2008 7:26:49 AM EDT

[#20]

About 14 yrs ago I worked EMS in a small town. We ran out of the hospital, so we were ER techs when not on a call. We get called in the middle of the night for a stabbing. Arrive to find a guy in his 30s face down on the floor out cold. We log-roll him and start looking for stab wounds. All we found was a small laceration on his chest. Guy had gotten drunk and pissed at his GF, she tried to stab him. Anyway, we put him on a back board and take him to the box. Enroute, he starts to wake up and is pissed. I've got the straps on the board and cot tight so he stays put for the ride. We unload at the ER and tell the nurses, whatever you do don't undo the straps. Of course that's the first thing they do. I come back in to the room to this guy trying to get up, screaming at the nurses, etc. I grab his bicep and put my hand in his chest trying to hold him down. I remember looking at his arm and chest, guy was shirtless, and thinking damn he's big, I'm fixin' to get my ass kicked. Across the room I hear beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep, I look over and see my partner sitting on a stool holding the defib paddles. He looks at the guy and says "Get up MotherF*&%er, I dare ya! Guy looks at me and I just smile. Patient just politely lays back and gave no more trouble. The look on his face was priceless.

Posted: 4/27/2008 8:41:50 AM EDT

[#21]

I enjoy these tales of the human condition.

Posted: 4/27/2008 2:03:29 PM EDT

[#22]

Posted: 4/29/2008 4:10:10 AM EDT

[#23]

We went to a wreck the other day where a person was ejected from a vehicle and then run over several times.

Today we saw a car that was upside down in the middle of the road, with no driver to be found.

Posted: 4/29/2008 5:01:07 AM EDT

[#24]

Quoted:
We had a guy call in on 911 recently to report that his drug dealer hadn't delivered his weed this week.

I arrested him for misuse of the 911 system.

Consider this a tag.

Posted: 4/29/2008 5:11:38 AM EDT

[#25]

Quoted:
About 14 yrs ago I worked EMS in a small town. We ran out of the hospital, so we were ER techs when not on a call. We get called in the middle of the night for a stabbing. Arrive to find a guy in his 30s face down on the floor out cold. We log-roll him and start looking for stab wounds. All we found was a small laceration on his chest. Guy had gotten drunk and pissed at his GF, she tried to stab him. Anyway, we put him on a back board and take him to the box. Enroute, he starts to wake up and is pissed. I've got the straps on the board and cot tight so he stays put for the ride. We unload at the ER and tell the nurses, whatever you do don't undo the straps. Of course that's the first thing they do. I come back in to the room to this guy trying to get up, screaming at the nurses, etc. I grab his bicep and put my hand in his chest trying to hold him down. I remember looking at his arm and chest, guy was shirtless, and thinking damn he's big, I'm fixin' to get my ass kicked. Across the room I hear beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep, I look over and see my partner sitting on a stool holding the defib paddles. He looks at the guy and says "Get up MotherF*&%er, I dare ya! Guy looks at me and I just smile. Patient just politely lays back and gave no more trouble. The look on his face was priceless.

One of the EMS guys that comes into our ED often told me the story about how he deals with the combative OD's that are flipping in the back of the ambulance higher than a kite.

Apparently right about the stretcher is a large red button used for an intercom speaker. If they are flipping out and fighting to get up, he points to the button and yells, "You don't hold still I'm going to hit this eject button and launch you 40 feet into the street."

Supposedly it makes complete sense to a crackhead that ambulances would come with F16 style ejector seats.

Posted: 4/29/2008 5:21:17 AM EDT

[#26]

Quoted:

Quoted:
Couple weeks ago... I responded to an attempted suicide. Guy had used a 28" Wingmaster Shotgun to try to kill himself. The gun barrel was so long that when the guy tried to put his mouth over the barrel and pull the trigger, he had problems squaring up his line of fire and blew off the left side of his face, resulting in a non-fatal wound.

The scene was made secure and fire and medics began to bandage the guys face and head. While they were working on the guy, he was seated up right in a chair and conscious. He asked one of the fire guys, "Is it really that bad?"

My partner and I just looked at each other and started cracking up. My partner yelled at the guy, "You tried to blow your head off with a 12 gauge.... taking half your face off... yes it's that bad."

that sounds exactly like what happened to the guy i was talking about.

yeah.... seems like it's a pretty common thing.

Every time I kill myself I just use my glock. Works just fine.

ETA: All of your page 4 are belong to me!!!

Posted: 4/29/2008 5:39:46 AM EDT

[#27]

Quoted:

Quoted:
Couple weeks ago... I responded to an attempted suicide. Guy had used a 28" Wingmaster Shotgun to try to kill himself. The gun barrel was so long that when the guy tried to put his mouth over the barrel and pull the trigger, he had problems squaring up his line of fire and blew off the left side of his face, resulting in a non-fatal wound.

The scene was made secure and fire and medics began to bandage the guys face and head. While they were working on the guy, he was seated up right in a chair and conscious. He asked one of the fire guys, "Is it really that bad?"

My partner and I just looked at each other and started cracking up. My partner yelled at the guy, "You tried to blow your head off with a 12 gauge.... taking half your face off... yes it's that bad."

that sounds exactly like what happened to the guy i was talking about.

yeah.... seems like it's a pretty common thing.

Every time I kill myself I just use my glock. Works just fine.

ETA: All of your page 4 are belong to me!!!

doesn't count if you edit.

fail.

Posted: 4/29/2008 5:40:15 AM EDT

[#28]

My buddy was EMT in AZ first year out of high school. Was called to the school for an "emergency". Arrives at the nurses office with his partner to find a girl they both went to school with, and were somewhat friends with(she graduated a year later). Apparently she lived two blocks from school and went home for lunch, got the urge, and used a FROZEN hot dog to scratch her itch.

It promptly froze to the tissue, and would not come unstuck. She walked back to school with it still in her @#$%&!!! Then reported to the nurses office, since she could'nt sit down properly in class! They prepped her for transport, and he said it took EVERYTHING they had to no bust a gut laughing!!!

According to my friend, she wasnt bad looking at all, and if she needed it that bad, he would have been more than happy to give her his number!! But after that incident, he couldnt even bring himself to talk to her without that incident popping up in his head!! LOL!!

Posted: 4/29/2008 5:41:40 AM EDT

[#29]

Quoted:
He had actually tried shooting up the heroin 12 hours prior. We made sure and escorted him down to his wife's car as he was a frequent flyer with my partner having responded to his BS calls before....she wasnt gonna put up with any BS from him this time. It was my first and not soon to be my last encounter with him.....

Did you at least help him out with some narcan?

Posted: 4/29/2008 5:48:13 AM EDT

[#30]

Quoted:

Quoted:
Couple weeks ago... I responded to an attempted suicide. Guy had used a 28" Wingmaster Shotgun to try to kill himself. The gun barrel was so long that when the guy tried to put his mouth over the barrel and pull the trigger, he had problems squaring up his line of fire and blew off the left side of his face, resulting in a non-fatal wound.

The scene was made secure and fire and medics began to bandage the guys face and head. While they were working on the guy, he was seated up right in a chair and conscious. He asked one of the fire guys, "Is it really that bad?"

My partner and I just looked at each other and started cracking up. My partner yelled at the guy, "You tried to blow your head off with a 12 gauge.... taking half your face off... yes it's that bad."

that sounds exactly like what happened to the guy i was talking about.

yeah.... seems like it's a pretty common thing.

Every time I kill myself I just use my glock. Works just fine.

ETA: All of your page 4 are belong to me!!!

doesn't count if you edit.

fail.

Well damn, how the hell are you supposed to know when the page is going to turn?

Posted: 4/29/2008 5:54:04 AM EDT

[#31]

tagged for later

Posted: 4/29/2008 6:08:04 AM EDT

[#32]

Quoted:
Well damn, how the hell are you supposed to know when the page is going to turn?

Each page is 25 posts. It says (where the link to the thread is located, either in GD or MAT) how many posts have been made so far.

I think the whole thing is kind of silly (and for the record I think Rick Rolling is hilarious), but if you want to figure out how to do it properly, there you go.

Posted: 4/29/2008 6:16:10 AM EDT

[#33]

Quoted:
I was at a climbing instructor's course with a woman who worked as an anesthesiologist, she mentioned that this happens waaaaaay too much in her area (somewhere in FL.) she'd seen all manner of veggies and things like 20oz pop bottles. Said the worst part about the entire thing was the 'repeat customers.'

+1 My ex-wife brought home the funniest stories. Coffee thermo's and such on x-ray

Posted: 4/29/2008 6:18:54 AM EDT

[#34]

Cardiac Arrest while Having sex.

His wife said he was "Working out" he told us the truth the though

Then there was the guy trying to kill himself at an intersection. He wanted to jump in front of a car, but "They were going to slow"

Or...

The Pt was ejected and landed 40ft into the field.
we roll him over and he asks.
"Hows my car?" "I was only doing 25 mph"

Posted: 4/29/2008 6:25:43 AM EDT

[#35]

Quoted:
We had a call for a 80 year old male w/ severe constipation. When we got there, he was complaining that he has not been able to shit for a week or so, and the pain had finally got to be to much. When the medic showed up, we got him out of bed, and moved him to the stretcher. As he lifted his leg to get on, lets just say the problem corrected itself.

The medic still had to transported him to the hospital, man I was sooo glad to not be a transporting department.

Have way to many stories to count, it is amazing how some people live in such filth.

That's called a "Code Brown"!

Posted: 4/29/2008 6:31:06 AM EDT

[#36]

Quoted:

Quoted:
He had actually tried shooting up the heroin 12 hours prior. We made sure and escorted him down to his wife's car as he was a frequent flyer with my partner having responded to his BS calls before....she wasnt gonna put up with any BS from him this time. It was my first and not soon to be my last encounter with him.....

Did you at least help him out with some narcan?

HAHAHA....that wouldve been funny as hell but nope, no narcan for him....he refused treatment/transport. What a maroon!

Posted: 4/29/2008 6:32:33 AM EDT

[#37]

These are from friends in the EMS / LE field....

A friend who is a medic responded to a call for a man laying in the middle of the road, bleeding from the hands and face. Upon arrival they find they guy, alive but with a LOT of road rash...they look for the motorcycle he must have laid down but there is no indication of any skid marks or accident of any kind. They are able to interview the guy....he and his GF were at the bar, fairly drunk...they had been fighting all night...when they left she drove her car, he was the passenger. They continued to argue...things got heated, he finally had enough of her shit, opened the door, and got out of the car.

Problem was that they were doing about 50MPH at the time.
He tumbled and slid for at least 100 yards, getting torn up along the way.
My buddy suggested the being drunk saved his life...guys body went limp and just tumbled around....had some broken bones and bad rash, but no life threatening injuries.

LEO in a small suburban community...dispatch takes a call from a frantic woman stating that there is a stray cat in her back yard and she doesnt know what to do.
Dispatcher tells her to ignore it and that there are no laws against stray animals wandering the neighborhood. She insists that an officer needs to come out immediately and remove the animal because it is tresspassing

Dispatcherr repeats to her to ignore it, that no laws are being broken, and that its just a cat...it will wander away eventually.

About 15 minutes later the same woman calls back even more frantic, stating that since the damn police wouldnt enforce the law she went out to chase the cat away on her own, but in the process the cat ran inside her house and she couldnt get it to come out...it was hiding in the house now

Dispatcher put her on hold and transferred her to the animal control desk.

Posted: 4/29/2008 6:40:25 AM EDT

[#38]

I was a FF but most of us at least had to have an EMT-B so we would be called out with medical since we usually got there faster. About 2am one morning we got called out to a house for a suicide victim.

Well when we got there (kind of a white trash type place) there were cop cars everywhere and some people sitting in a beat up early 80's camaro. Apparently the guy had been dating the girl inside but she dumped him. So his normal rational response was to get his collection of saturday night specials together and go to her house so he could kill her then himself. She locked the doors and called the cops.

The ranking deputy found the guy in his car in the passenger seat holding a .38 in his hand. I'm not sure why but he just jumped in the car with him to talk him back down. They were still talking when we got there. 5min later "BANG". The dumbass gut shot himself, the bullet bounced around and exited his back above his shoulderblade. He was in a world of hurt, the ambulance was there by then so we loaded him up and off he went only to die a couple hours later. Only time I was ever called out for a suicide before it happened.

On the good side we had a college campus in our coverage area. And there was this one girls dorm that people would constantly pull the fire alarm at in the middle of the night. Half the county would try to respond to those calls, and it was a race to get there as hundreds of coeds streamed out of the dorm in their nighties and less than nighties.

Posted: 4/29/2008 6:55:57 AM EDT

[#39]

Quoted:

Quoted:
My boss at my old job was also a firefighter for one of the small towns in the area and had some funny dispatcher stories. One was a tone out for a seizure at a burger king. Dispatcher calls out on the radio "We have a flopper at the Whopper" Guy was fired on the spot. Next one took place at the local porn shop, man suffered a stroke. My boss said they couldn't stop laughing all the way to the scene at the words "We have a STROKE victim at the porn shop"

I didn't know they actually would fire people over something like that.

I'd just say he had a good sense of humor.

I had a friend who was asked by animal control to "describe the dog" he said "floppy ears, four legs, woof woof!!!" and he got written up for it.

Posted: 4/29/2008 6:56:53 AM EDT

[#40]

A patient had his friend drive him to our ER for severe chest pain the other night. On arrival security helped him out of the car, put him in a wheelchair and carted him up to the registration window. The clerk called the triage nurse and asked her to come out and check the patient as he was not answering his questions and did not look too good. The triage nurse calmly checked the patient, being old, wise and experienced in such matters she quickly noted that the patient was dead. Its going to be a long time before we stop razzing that security officer for asking a dead guy to sign in.

Posted: 4/29/2008 7:34:33 AM EDT

[#41]

I can't stop laughing.

Posted: 4/29/2008 7:47:23 AM EDT

[#42]

Quoted:

I remember as a kid my friends dad was a LEO and there was one story that he always told of a domestic dispute where someone got stabbed by their wife with a frozen carrot and almost died.

Reminds me of a story that my scout master told me back in the day.

He was a city cop known for not taking shit from anyone and was a bit of a renegade. Well one night he was called to a domestic dispute. An hour or two goes by and he gets called back to the same dispute. He tells the morons that if he gets called back again there's going to be issues.

Sure enough he gets called back a little while later, so he goes up to the front door, kicks it in, then walks in with a dummy grenade in hand and reminds the people that they were warned there was going to be trouble. So he pulls the pin and lets the spoon fly and drops the grenade on the floor and turns to walk out. He said there was people diving out through windows and scrambling to get out of the house.

As you can imagine the police chief wasn't too happy, and he was stuck with traffic duty for several months for that stunt.

Posted: 4/29/2008 8:31:21 AM EDT

[#43]

tag

Posted: 4/29/2008 8:52:18 AM EDT

[#44]

Saw a guy cut in half from being partially ejected with rollover
Went to a home and found at least 300 cockatiels flying around in a room. Bizarre

Craziest call ever: Want out of service on a transport from a minor MVA. While enroute, a med unit covering our zone responded to a 10-50 involving motorcycles. We dropped our patient and went 10-8. The unit covering our area called and asked for assistance. When we arrived, we found two med units, two fire, one helicopter was enroute (but was cancelled per supervisor) and two DRT's on the ground. One was on a four wheeler travelling on the right side of the road. The other was riding a two wheeler, and he was on the same side of the road as the 4 wheeler. Neither were wearing helmets. The 2 wheel bike hit the 4 wheeler DEAD CENTER. The two patients hit head on. Their two heads met, and both had radiating skull fractures, CSF and blood from the ears, etc. The crews were only working the DRT's because the family was present.

Later that night I had to go pick up the father of one of the boys. He was having a myocardial infarction. Crazy stuff.

Posted: 4/29/2008 9:18:42 AM EDT

[#45]

Quoted:
Craziest call ever: Want out of service on a transport from a minor MVA. While enroute, a med unit covering our zone responded to a 10-50 involving motorcycles.

Needs MS paint diagram. How did he hit him dead center?

Posted: 4/29/2008 3:37:51 PM EDT

[#46]

ahh

tag

Posted: 4/29/2008 4:09:08 PM EDT

[#47]

We get dispatched out for a laceration. We arrive on scene and find a woman at home with her 5 y/o child. She is spitting up blood and there is a considerate amount of blood over the kitchen area. She writes down on a piece of paper that she has had surgery on her throat and the incision has opened up. She gives us her "girl friends" number so that we can call her so that she can watch the kid. Lady is transported and end of call.

The next shift we get dispatched to the same location/same reason. The officer was on vacation so we had another senior FF fill in. I tell him why we were there last shift and it appeared that these 2 ladies were a couple. We arrive on scene and again find the woman and her child. Same senerio, blood all over the kitchen and a piece of paper that has some instructions written on it. This time the paper said: Take my child in his bed room, I need to tell you something.

So I'm thinking....Shit. The kid has been molested or something horrible... Something I really don't want to hear or know. So I decide to take the child into his bedroom and we start playing with legos building a castle. The mother gets transported but the "girl friend" is in Savannah which is ~ 45 min away. So while we're waiting for LE to arrive to take custody of the child he starts telling me how great Hillary Clinton is and how she can change this nation.

LE gets there and we head for the rig. The officer looks at me and the conversation goes...
Officer: You ass hole, you didn't tell me this.
Me: I told you that she was a lesbian
Officer: Oh My God, you don't know.
Me: know what

Officer: That was a man
Me: A man

Officer: Yeah... That's the kids dad.
Me:

NFW OMFG. That's what she... He.... It wanted to tell us?
Officer: Yeah

Me: WTF!!!!1!

Another interesting call that happened a two years ago or so... We were dispatched to a MVA with unknown injuries. We cruise that way and find a car in the ditch... No big deal. I approach the vehicle and notice damage to the top of the vehicle... So now it's a roll over. I look inside the passenger compartment and find the driver... With a degloved arm from the elbow down

. Apparetly, as she rolled her arm went out the window and was caught between the road and the roof of the vehicle.

That was neat getting to see the anamoty of the body. I drove the bus into the hospital and got to further see treatment. She was begging for pain killers but the doc wouldn't give her any. She asked several times and the Doc finally told her to SHUT UP... Literally. I really felt bad for her.

I'll think of some better ones.

Posted: 4/29/2008 4:25:22 PM EDT

[#48]

Oh..... A couple of weeks ago we got dispatched to an elderly couples house that we go to at least once a week it seems. The woman has COPD and is on a cannula and can barely get around. Well, this time she is real lethargic and is having a hard time communicating. We get the wheels into the house (damn medics never bring their crap) and we (fire crew) kinda sit back and let the EMTs do their thing. The newer guy (who we all know and dislike) is holding this woman by the hips trying to assist her to the stretcher.

You have to visualize how he's holding her. He has his hands on either side of her hips an he's bent over at an awkward angle so that his head is somewhat hear her butt. All of a sudden she gets explosive diarrhea.

Well, ol' Mr. EMT can't just let her go, otherwise she goes to the floor. And he can't sit her down because she's too far away from the streatcher but too far away from her chair. So he has to hold her there and she couldn't really move. It was so perfectly timed and it seemed to go on and on and on. The look on his face was absolutely priceless. It was of complete disgust and horror. He looked to us for help but we just stood back with a grin on or faces. He wasn't too happy with us.

Posted: 4/29/2008 4:36:35 PM EDT

[#49]

I posted this in the BOTS forum a few months back;

After 18 years in EMS and several trips to sensitivity training, I've learned a few things;

When a 14 year old male make a suicide gesture by taking 10 Midol tablets, don't tell him that he's not going to die but that he might break out in little vaginas.

No matter how cute the female patient is, don't use the phrase "breath sounds are luscious" in a radio patch. In the same vein, don't hand the drunk patient the radio mic when the ER nurse is being pissy.

Don't taunt the dispatchers. It makes for a very long shift. When requesting a radio patch, say "requesting a patch to UW ER", not "open a hailing frequency". Don't fake Tourette's on the air. Never utter the phrase "what the fuck, over" on the air either.

"Scanning" the paranoid schizophrenic with the garage door opener is considered unprofessional. So is punching a hole in a patient's MA card and telling them "you only have one call left, so don't call again unless you really need us".

Don't giggle when you cardiovert a consious patient. Similarly, don't exclaim "holy shit' when you look at the monitor.

When writing run reports, don't replace 'per protocol' with 'in accordance with the prophicies'. Don't write them in the form of a limerick, or as a haiku.

Eating Dinty Moore beef stew out of a suction container is a 'funny once' kind of thing.

Leaving a styrofoam container of left over chinese food labled "human donor organs" in the rig at shift change will get you a nasty phone call form a supervisor. (Just ask another unnamed poster in this thread.)

When you've been dispatched to a frequent flyers home, pulling up out front and honking is frowned upon.

Posted: 4/29/2008 4:50:30 PM EDT

[#50]

Here's a few from my

folder:

Had a call for a "belligerent subject". After responding (and repeatedly asking why this didn't qualify as a PD call on the way there) my partner and I meet the cops and find a late 40-early 50 yo M w/decreased LOC who obviously suffered repeated head trauma due to belligerent cause.

In other words, he got thumped on.

We slap a collar on him roll him to a board and get him in the rig. He's a big guy - probably 6'2" / 280 pounds.

As I'm getting vitals my partner slaps a non-rebreather mask on him. Suddenly Mister Decreased LOC opens the one eye he still can, glares at my partner, lets out a zombie style moan and reaches up and tries a grab for his throat - obviously thinking that my partner is one of his assailants. As we're struggling with him, his mask gets dislodged. After a few breaths of 21% O2, he loses interest in my partner and releases his grasp on his shirt.

This process repeats itself a few times while we're doing our thing in the back (including my successful use of the "gooseneck" wristlock - simply confirming that the patient was responsive to painful stimuli

). On the way to the ER, I would hold the mask by the patient's face. As he'd come around and start getting combative, I'd remove the mask until he started to drop off again.

We get to the ER and they place the patient on O2 and go to start an IV. Despite our relating the adventurous story of the trip in, they scoff at the suggestion of restraints. As the (brand spanking new) nurse lines up the patient's hand for a 22 (tiny IV catheter), he comes to and grabs her thumb in a death grip.

She screams and drops the cath and tries to remove her hand without success. I'm on that side and see what happens, so out comes the gooseneck. The patient moans and I know I heard at least one curse word. I holler at him "LET GO OF THE NURSE". He mumbles and tries to squeeze some more. I tighten my grasp and holler "LET GO OF THE NURSE... NOW".

He finally reliquishes his grasp as she stumbles backwards across the room holding her hand. My partner hollers at me "HOLD THAT RIGHT THERE!" and comes over to my side. He turns to the nurse and says "GIMME AN 18".

She gets a confused look but hands him one. He opens it "Johnny and Roy" style (teeth) and pops this guy first shot.

The guy moans and curses, we get the line and the ER doc finally calls for restraints.

The nurse later turned out to be an awesome ECRN, and took shit off of nobody after that.

***

Another one:

Guy gets into a verbal at a bar with another dude. They argue outside, and all the way to Dude 2's car. Dude 1 won't let it go, so Dude 2 OC's Dude 1 from inside the vehicle and drives off.

Dude 1 staggers back to the bar, where his (nasty

) GF tries to help him as the bartender calls 9-1-1. She fills up the mop sink in the back of the bar and tells Dude 1 to dunk his head. After he's done so, he's still in discomfort, so she tells him to open his eyes and dunk his head - which he does... repeatedly.

And just because some folks are slow on the uptake, OC is oil based, and the mop sink is full of water...

We get there after the PD as the guy is doing the dunk and cry. We finally stop this (I think the cops were actually amused at his antics) and ask the bartender for some milk. She replies that the closest thing she has to milk is Bailey's and it's $2 a shot.

He says "Y'all paramedics.. you gotta be able to do something!"

We reply "Sure - run your ass up to the ER and have them pour milk in your eyes".

We pour some saline irrigation into his eyes and, still crying he starts going off on a

.

I'M GONNA FIND THAT M*THERF*CKER.... I'M GONNA KILL HIM.

I'M GONNA FIND HIS GIRLFRIEND AND KILL HER... I'M GONNA FIND HIS BROTHER AND KILL HIM...

I'M GONNA FIND HIS PARENTS AND KILL THEM... IF THEY GOT A DOG I'M GONNA KILL THE G*D D*MN DOG...I'M GONNA FIND HIS GRANDPARENTS AND KILL THEM...I'M GONNA KILL THEY CAT, AND THEY FISH... IF HIS GRANDPARENTS GOT ROACHES I'M GONNA KILL THE G*D D*MN ROACHES...

The bartender, who's been sitting quietly behind the bar (besides the classic "$2 a shot" comment about the Bailey's) suddenly stands up, takes a drag off her Newport and says to Dude1:

I know you, and I know your Daddy... and I'm gonna tell him you was cryin' like a bitch!

We all lost it. The cops, both of us, even the guy's GF and buddy started laughing.

The guys finally says "Awww f*ck it" and starts laughing too. He asks if there's anything we can do for him; we tell him no, he apologizes for causing a scene and signs a refusal.

***

Had a guy traveling too fast in a Dodge Durango discover that the hood on the Dodge was at exactly the right height to allow a tow truck's flatbed to ride up the hood and hit the seat right below the headrest.

Got called to cut the body out of the vehicle. The head was already in an "EVIDENCE" bag being brought up by an officer.

You couldn't really tell that the body was Decap'd because the guy was wearing one of those overstuffed down jackets and the hood had fallen over his neck. It just looked like he had slumped down.

***

Had the nephew of one of the cops I know wind up DRT in the back seat of a 1980's vintage Chevy Caprice that nailed a 3' diameter oak at 85+ MPH.

The engine was in the backseat with two of the patients. We pulled him out and checked him because the only visible injury was a small (1.5") lac to his forehead. Autopsy showed he'd suffered a C2 FX.

The cop was (understandably) upset, but finished up as the on-call AI for the wreck. He told me later that he'd warned his nephew at a family picnic a month earlier to "stop hanging out with that crowd, or you're gonna wind up in a box".

***

Had a guy nail the rear end of a slow moving semi with a GMC Envoy at 80 mph. The AI's figure he came up on the semi from the rear, and he (not realizing that it was only going 5 MPH as it was pulling away from a red light) was moving out to pass it and failed. He exited the SUV via the windshield, opened his head on the "rub rail" that was molded to the back of the trailer, and re-entered the driver's seat.

From the passenger side he was just sitting there with a "huh?" look on his face... as you walked to the other side you could see inside the skull, as well as the perfect outline of the stainless steel rub rail.

We related the situation to dispatch, and called the Shift Commander to the scene and the downtown engine for extrication. They screamed down there and start ripping the tools out to work the scene. They look up and see us all standing around with smokes, and one of them asks "WTF?"

I suggested he take a better look at his patient.

The newest guy on the crew comes over and says "you could have told us he was dead".

After the engine guys cut him out, as senior FF, I got tasked with helping the new deputy coroner and the senior officer (also the AI) remove the victim.

As we placed him on the coroner's gurney and zipped the bag closed, I said "Well, you know the last thing that went through his mind..."

The cop (who I've known for years) got this "Oh God no..." look on his face as the DC looked at me and innocently asked "What?"

"Semi truck" I crisply replied.

The cop just let out a groan as the DC kind of blankly stared and then got it a minute later.

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Tales from the ambulance...or, post your cool fire/ems/leo stories update p 12. (Page 2 of 6)

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