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Posted: 9/24/2001 10:01:12 AM EDT

[#1]

Watch out, I know a wife who got full custody of the Dillon 550 after the divorce.

Posted: 9/24/2001 10:04:59 AM EDT

[#2]

Yo, Hokie!

My brother is going through the same thing right now. Do what you can to work it out. In the meanwhile, keep your guns off premises.

Most divorce lawyers will do what they can to keep you "off balance", including encouraging your spouse to file a complaint, alleging that she's "afraid of you and your guns". Regardless of what the truth is, you'll lose 'em for the duration of the action, and possibly forever.

I'm in Radford and can store some, if not all of your stuff if you'd like. I'm sure that there are others nearby who will also help, if needed.

Email me and we can "talk".

Posted: 9/24/2001 10:10:15 AM EDT

[#3]

Well if you fear it will come to a divorce find a family member or good friend and sell all of your guns to them and anything else you do not want her to get for a buck($1.00). Do this before any papers are filed or served. After the divorce is final buy them all back for a $1.00. I do not mean to scare you but once a woman gets a lawyer they start to go for blood and figure you owe them everything. Work it out if you can but if it does not work protect yourself. Best of luck to you.....

Posted: 9/24/2001 10:10:54 AM EDT

[#4]

I wouldn't store your guns at Radford - I think they might get rusty!! Just kidding FatMan. Go Hokies!!

Black Fox

Posted: 9/24/2001 10:19:15 AM EDT

[#5]

I agree with 95thFoot. Find a good personal friend and sell all of your guns anything you wish to keep to a friend for a buck. And keep a record of it. That way you are set if something happens. And after its over just buy them all back. Again do this with some one you can trust.

BTW you can trust me!
[sniper]

Posted: 9/24/2001 10:29:26 AM EDT

[#6]

There's a lot of good advice here, and here's my opinion:

1) Sounds like guns ARE NOT the real issue, just a symptom of the root problem...therefore selling them would just make YOU miserable as well. Sounds like she is wanting more attention and time from you, and she sees hunting/fishing/golfing as taking priority with you OVER her.

2) Definitely open your own account and ask your employer to start depositing there. While she still has 50/50 rights to it, you ALSO have 50/50 rights to HER ACCOUNT BALANCE if a divorce takes place. But, this will put you in control of your finances for now.

3) If you are a Christian, then you should definitely be seeking God for help and change. You both would also benefit from getting counseling from a Christian marriage counselor/pastor, etc.

4) Show her that you are not willing to give up on the marriage so easily. It could be a test (whether conscious or not) to see how much you really DO care for her.

5) I wouldn't sell your guns at all. My personal opinion.

Last, a bit of humour that has some painful truth to it:
A woman marries a man hoping he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman hoping she won't change, but she does!

Posted: 9/24/2001 10:29:39 AM EDT

[#7]

1) If your state is a property fault state then stick with her, go see a social worker/priest/whoever while paying a PI to uncover whoever she is seeing (chances are she is screwing around, and is forcing a blowup to make things 'your' fault in her mind).
2) If not, then move all guns out of the house, cancel all credit cards in your name or joint names, empty all accounts, yours and joint, revoke any powers of attorney she has, and give any funds from any account to your lawyer to place into escrow. Document the money she has been setting aside.

Very Important:
YOU ARE GOING TO BE SET UP! If she slaps at you, throws something at you, waves a knife at you, call the police and run from the house to the road and wait for the police. Be the first to speak to them. You did not do nothing, she just did X out of the blue. This goes if you stay in the house, or leave.

Have your guns at a trusted friend's house. It will be hard for her to tell the court a tale about how you held a 357 to her head on October 1st when your friend gives an affidavit that they all were in his safe on that day.
This will also prevent your guns being taken by the police when 'you slap her' one night in your sleep.

Get a lawyer, now.

Posted: 9/24/2001 10:52:21 AM EDT

[#8]

You poor bastard...Ask yourself if this is what you want for the rest of your life. Personally, get a lawyer. Tell her to shape up, or give her ass the boot. There are good women out there. I do know a few guys who are happily married to good women (myself included!). I also know a few who are married to schrews. Phuck that, life is too short. It would be a cold day in hell before I'd go the counselling route.

I have a friend who is biding time until his youngest is 18. He has another 6 years of hell, unless his "beloved" has a heart attack from the strain of carrying all her clothes in from the new minivan after her latest shopping spree. Or from scheduling side jobs for him to do so she has more money to blow. Better him than me...

This is even worse if you actually still love her. I wish you well.

Posted: 9/24/2001 10:52:25 AM EDT

[#9]

ditch the ßitch. sorry but even my mom would say that she's a bitch.

Posted: 9/24/2001 10:59:58 AM EDT

[#10]

An honest question, not mean to inflame, but to find out the answer: Why the hell did you marry her in the first place?

What attracted you to her? Does she still exhibit those traits?

Conversly, what attracted her to you? Are you still that way?

Posted: 9/24/2001 11:08:56 AM EDT

[#11]

The faster you can get the inevitable over with the faster you can get on with living life again. There's no sense in going through life unhappy. Good luck.

Posted: 9/24/2001 11:29:26 AM EDT

[#12]

Go ahead, work it out...If you like being held hostage to whatever whim she becomes worked up over.
If she had wanted to "work it out" she would have simply asked that you two start accumulating photography equipment and that you might join her on her photo outings. She does not appear to want to work it out, she wants capitualation.
Too many folks, men and women, let their spouses lead them by the nose. Bad mistake. If you want to let your wife shrink your place in the marriage to whatever corner she tells you to go stand in, be my guest. But, I would not call that love, nor would I call that a worthwhile thing to work out.

Posted: 9/24/2001 11:33:43 AM EDT

[#13]

VTHokieShooter -

Someone else alluded to this, but I'll re-phrase the thought here....

Would you seek business advice from a person who had gone bankrupt once (or several times)????

Likewise.....

Before you take ANY advice from this site, make sure you know WHO you are "listening" to.

Posted: 9/24/2001 11:35:14 AM EDT

[#14]

Looks like you've gotten some pretty good advice so far bro.

Kinda been through that once my self.

You are between the proverbial rock and a hard place.....catch 22 if you will.

Do you really love this woman?

Do you feel fulfilled by your marriage?

Are you willing to give up everything that is you for her?

Only you can answer these things but it sounds to me as though she has only herself and her agenda at heart.....and none of yours it seems.

If my wife told me the same thing I'd help her pack her bags...........I mean really!

What woman that loves her man is gonna demand that he change these things (good things BTW) about himself or risk loosing her?

Totally bizarre and totally absurd.

Choose!

If she truly loves you she will listen to yoru reasonable defense of yourself. If she truly lvoes you she will be willing to work it out rather than have it her way or no way at all.

Be strong!

After my divorce I kept most all of my guns. Later, when I met someone again, I sold them all to pay for a ring and household things.

I am still married to that same woman and each time I look at that 1.5c pear on her finger I think......(pre-ban AR....pre-ban AK......pre-ban Mac-11/9...Citori....).....I gladly made the sacrifice for her but again, if she told me to loose the guns or loose her....well..................you can find another woman......I did it once!

Posted: 9/24/2001 11:40:11 AM EDT

[#15]

I have a friend who went through this a few months ago.

Most significantly, get your guns out of the house as quickly as you can. My buddy's guns were confiscated thanks to a restraining order.

In my (admittedly limited) experience, women ask for a divorce after the relationship is beyond salvage. Probably the best thing you can do now is to consult an attorney ASAP. The longer you wait, the harder you're likely to be screwed.

I have also heard of friends who've gone through a divorce and gotten shafted because they "just wanted to get it over with," and caved in to whatever their spouse's attorney wanted.

Resisting that urge will usually allow you to come out of the process with a fair distribution of assets.

Posted: 9/24/2001 11:40:54 AM EDT

[#16]

Sorry to hear about all this.

Here's my advice. Screw counciling. Get the divorce ASAP! Whenever someone pulls that "If you really love me" crap it's nothing but down hill from there.

I know you don't want to hear that, but trust me, 2 1/2 years hasn't been that long. Get it behind you and move on.

If she already has a separate checking account and a lawyer, she's probably already made up her mind and the counciling bit is probably a bluff. All the councliling will do is work out to her advantage or won't help out at all. I know, I've been there.

Posted: 9/24/2001 11:44:12 AM EDT

[#17]

You need to dump this bitch!!

Everything you've read here about her using this to gain control over you is right on the money. You need to take your stuff and move out, then notify all your creditors in writing that you two are legally separated so you won't be responsible for any new debts.

If you reconcile, your life will be a living hell and she will totally have you under her thumb. Plus, I can guarantee that within a year she'll "accidentally" get pregnant, thereby having you by the financial balls for at least the next 18 years. Then you'll never be able to get rid of her, and your now miserable life will get even worse!

My advice is run away as fast as you can, while you can. If you're dumb enough to go back, you deserve everything you get.

Posted: 9/24/2001 11:47:14 AM EDT

[#18]

Lots of good advice here, especially in regards to seeking legal counsel.

There may be hope, but you still have to watch your back. She already has a lawyer, so her mind is obviously made up.

Get a lawyer now, cancel the credit cards ASAP before she has a chance to go shopping.

It is my understanding that property acquired prior to the marriage is not community property and she has no claim to it. But she does have a claim to a portion of the value of that property if it's increased in value in the 2 1/2 years you've been married.

The lawyer knows all that stuff and that's why you need a lawyer now. Do not put it off!

Posted: 9/24/2001 11:47:25 AM EDT

[#19]

Quoted:
VTHokieShooter -

Someone else alluded to this, but I'll re-phrase the thought here....

Would you seek business advice from a person who had gone bankrupt once (or several times)????

Likewise.....

Before you take ANY advice from this site, make sure you know WHO you are "listening" to.

View Quote

Good point!

BTW, my marriage worked out. Been married 7 years now. Four of them happily! [:D]

Posted: 9/24/2001 11:48:48 AM EDT

[#20]

I'd take her hunting.......[rolleyes]

Posted: 9/24/2001 11:57:47 AM EDT

[#21]

is asking for devorice

View Quote

She probably said she wants you to take Hooked On Phonics. [:D]

Remember, if a woman says "Guns or me", always take your guns. Guns are cheaper, don't bitch alot, and require less paperwork.

Posted: 9/24/2001 12:24:06 PM EDT

[#22]

Quoted:
vth,

i thought it was interesting that she was/is willign to spend time with you photographing wildlife. if se had given up on you, im not sure shed suggest that.

is it possible she just wants to know and feel that she is more important and special to you than your hobbies?

View Quote

FUCK THE BITCH!
I'm assuming she knew you liked firearms and shooting sports when she said "I do...", and NOW she's trying to change you. My best friend is a divorce court lawyer.... stashing his client's guns in his gun safe is a common practice.

Don't just make your illegal guns "vanish"... stash all of them away, lest she try to take them from you in court. Don't bring 'em out again 'till after the judge bangs his gavel. Watch your credit cards... deposit your paycheck in a separate account (assuming you have a joint account with your wife). And be warnd... a common trick they do is to lure you by going to counseling while appraising the house and possessions at the same time.

If you can patch it together w/o sacrificing your sportsman lifestyle, go for it.... but NEVER THE LESS, GET A LAWYER!!!

Posted: 9/24/2001 2:26:04 PM EDT

[#23]

First, good luck with this mess. I agree with those who say get on with your life ASAP and cover your butt all the way.

If you have a trusted friend who is also an FFL you can make your guns even safer than selling to a friend. Sell them to the FFL with the understanding you can buy them back at the same price when this is all over. Granted that you'll have to do new 4473s for them to get them back, but once they're in his book it will be almost impossible for your wife's lawyer to get at them. Just hope you don't own any Class III.

Posted: 9/24/2001 2:55:26 PM EDT

[#24]

Quoted:
VS what I'm about to tell you may seem harsh but I've been there done that.
Forget the counseling, forget the talking to her, dump her like a bad habit. All this other stuff is just touchy feely crap. Look she knew all about you before she got married, but now it's a big issue. Why now? Because in the back of her mind she thought she would be able to change you. Now I don't intend to get gross but: From the time a little girl is brought into this world all females start filling their heads with ways to CONTROL a MAN The # 1 method is sex. They are told Men cannot live without SEX. MAN will do anything as long as he gets a little SEX every so often. The # 2 method is guilt and constant nagging.The little girl hears this all the time, and sees it practiced throughout her childhood. So when they get of age they find a guy who isn't quite perfect but based on their teachings they can persuade this "not so perfect MALE" to become Perfect. All this horn dog male needs is a little convincing. Now when the Male resist, the female starts to thearten the Male with the loss of SEX. The ultimate threat is divorce when the MALE will lose all SEX with said female.And once sex doesn't work then they start the guilt and naggging stage, complaining that you aren't the same person they married.
It's all BS. She is just pi$$ed because she has been unable to change you. You haven't changed she is the one who has finally shown her true colors. Luckily no children are involved. Get OUT NOW. Unfortunately you will need an attorney. Either way you look at it, it will cost you money to get out of this bondage called marriage. Pay your dues and hopefully you will learn from your experience.
Just remember it may only cost about $35 to get into a marriage but it will cost much more to get OUT of it.
Sorry pal those are the facts.

View Quote

what a load of horse shit! you get screwed over by one freakin' woman (okay maybe more than one, but how's that phrase go? "fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me") and you think ALL women are brought up to screw a man over. you either have a serious inferiority complex regarding your past history with women OR you know jack shit, which would probably go far in explaining your past situation and your current advice.

despite your assertion, those just are NOT the facts. it might be the case with this one woman, but it is far from the case with EVERY woman. i don't doubt that it happens. i KNOW that it doesn't happen with every female. sounds to me like you're harboring ill will towards all females because you failed in your past relationship(s).

your advice might be sound but your logic sucks!

Posted: 9/24/2001 3:17:36 PM EDT

[#25]

Get your guns, your money, and your @$$ out of there as fast as you can. She is looking for an excuse to dump you. I'll bet a paycheck she's screwing around. She doesn't want a husband, she wants a puppet.
Why did you marry her in the first place?

Posted: 9/24/2001 3:25:33 PM EDT

[#26]

VTHOKIESHOOTER, Here is my .223¢ worth:
Saying that your guns and other hobbies are the problem is a ploy. When someone is unhappy with their marriage, they will choose something that their spouse really cherishes and ask them to give it up. They feel deep down that their spouse won't give it up, thereby giving them a "infallible" excuse to dissolve the marriage. If the spouse happens to "call their bluff" and give in, chances are that they will go ahead and leave anyway. It seldom is really about the issues that they want the spouse to give up. If she really wants a divorce, let her go. It is difficult, I know. I hated my ex-wife and when she asked for a divorce, I was happy. About a month later, I was wishing she would come back and like a p****, I tried to beg her back. Now I look back and think,"Man, I was a total fool. I am so much better off without her now." But at the time, it hurt terribly. If you cannot work it out, find a woman who enjoys the same activities as you. Don't feel like your current wife is the only one out there for you, that you cannot find anyone else. It will all fall into place. Good luck!

Posted: 9/24/2001 3:37:32 PM EDT

[#27]

I'm sorry to hear about this, but I will give you my advice...

First, TripleD is correct, to an extent. MOST, not all women are has he describes. He made some good points.

Second, ITS OVER! She got a lawyer and a separate account, which means only one thing. SHE has been planning this for a while. She could have discussed this with you before going through all this, but SHE WENT BEHIND YOUR BACK and got ready. DO NOT underestimate her.

Third, listen to the others and get your guns and other weapons the hell away from her and yourself. If she already got a lawyer and a separate account, she is quite capable of getting a restraining order.

Again, this is already over. Forget about trying to "save" this as others have foolishly advised. There is really no hope now, and especially since she gave you the "if you really love me..." crap. If SHE really loved YOU she wouldn't say that shit! How about that?

Freeze your credit cards and bank accounts, move out, find a good lawyer, and get ready for a fight. I wish you the best of luck, and hope everything works out for you. Tell us what happens.

Posted: 9/24/2001 3:44:47 PM EDT

[#28]

You've already heard my "foolish" advice so I'll say just this. Do what you think is best for you. I wish you and your wife the best and hope that you both end up happy with your decisions.

AR-out

Posted: 9/24/2001 3:56:10 PM EDT

[#29]

OK here's my input. I have been married for 28 years the 21 of this month. Not all have been peaches and cream, but under no circumstances and no way in hell would my wife ever make those demands of me and neither would I do that to her. And further more, if she pulled that shit on me I would be gone in a heart beat. You may ask why after 28 years, simple that is not the woman I married 28 years ago.
Now with that said, is she the woman you married such a short time ago? If not run like hell or should I say run from hell. It sounds like she already has a head start. Time to Boggy.

Posted: 9/24/2001 4:17:41 PM EDT

[#30]

ar lady,
you're right. Not all women are like that but most are. I've been with my wife 21 years and can honestly say that she is the best thing that ever happened to me. Before her I dated 150-200 women and can tell you that almost all had refined manipulation to a fine art. The ones who are wiser are the ones who are still married. What is the divorce rate, by the way?
How do you explain the proliferation of television talk-shows? Who watches them? Who gets trashed on these programs on a regular basis. Clearly, women have numerous issues with men and for many their only solution is to neuter them and then cast them aside when done as they no longer have any respect for them. Just my 2 cents. Lots of good ones but not easy to find. Keep looking is my advice but first cancel ALL credit cards and then CYA. Best of luck shooter.

Posted: 9/24/2001 4:29:41 PM EDT

[#31]

Maybe your spending to much time in the wrong bush, a few good days of steady breed'n and good eat'n may take care of all you troubles.[:P]

Posted: 9/24/2001 4:33:30 PM EDT

[#32]

I am pre-law, PLEASE DO AS YOU WERE ADVISED TO DO IN A PERVIOUS POST. Open a new account in your own name. She is giving fare warning, take this opportunity and do something even if it seems small. SEE A LAWYER.

Posted: 9/24/2001 5:58:44 PM EDT

[#33]

Ditch the bitch. There are plenty more fish in the sea who could love you for who you are and not what they want you to be. Live your life on your terms or forever be miserable. It's your choice.

Posted: 9/24/2001 5:59:45 PM EDT

[#34]

Sorry to hear about your trouble. I agree with BigPig. The trust between you and your wife has been broken with her going behind your back and getting her own bank account and lawyer. Just exactly what was her reason for going to a lawyer? I can only come to one conclusion. She is going do divorce you and is trying to make you out to be the bad guy. You have been given excellent advice. (own bank account, cancel joint credit cards, obtain your own lawyer etc). Good luck and keep us updated.

Posted: 9/24/2001 6:12:01 PM EDT

[#35]

You say that she just got a case of the a$$ with your hunting hobby....did you hunt when you 2 were dating? Actually I had a similar problem with one of my ex's a while back. She gave me the "get rid of your guns and the cat, or I am leaving" thing. Much to her surprise, when she arrived home the following day, the locks were changed, her stuff was neatly packed and sitting by the door waiting for her arrival. I will NEVER let someone dictate to me, what I will or will not have. Situations like that are what keep me from getting married....

Posted: 9/24/2001 6:45:35 PM EDT

[#36]

V - listen up!!!

Immediately sell the firearms, ammo, accesories - everything. Sell these items to a trusted friend or family member and get a receipt. Have them "loan" you a weapon for defense/carry. Cancel your cards NOW.

No kids? No brainer. Go through with the divorce.

Been in a similar situation myself. Wanted to stay with my ex-wife - my family and friends finally got me to wake up to the fact that - "ugghhh, dude... have you noticed that your wife is leaving you?".

Hope you can get a low cost no contest settlement. REPEAT - DO NOT stay married and have kids together. Luckily my ex, my wife, and I get along well now and the situation is as good as can be expected for my son (I have custody).

Good luck,

Tate

Posted: 9/24/2001 6:50:23 PM EDT

[#37]

Reason #5023 why I am not getting married.

Posted: 9/24/2001 6:52:11 PM EDT

[#38]

If she already has a lawyer, it is too late to save the marriage. Protect yourself financially, good luck.

Posted: 9/24/2001 7:02:22 PM EDT

[#39]

Quoted:
Get your guns, your money, and your @$$ out of there as fast as you can. She is looking for an excuse to dump you. I'll bet a paycheck she's screwing around. She doesn't want a husband, she wants a puppet.
Why did you marry her in the first place?

View Quote

Very.......VERY.......well said.

If this woman is this intent on modifying you into her notion of what you should be then your work is cut out for you.

Additionally, in similar fashion to my own horrific divorce experience, she is looking to make you mad enough to leave in order to alleviate some of the guilt and shame she has been experiencing due to her own "extra-curricular" activities.

My ex did everything imaginable to make me look like the culprit when all along she was the lying, cheating, two-bit slut who had long since made our marriage vows null and void.

Get counsel and watch your six very very closely.

Better yet, surprise the lady (?) and make the first (next) move yourself.

Good luck and keep your head about you..okay?

Posted: 9/24/2001 7:09:20 PM EDT

[#40]

Dude, I feel for you. Sorry to here about it. But like a lot of people have already said GET a lawyer. I'm currently going through a divorce myself. Unfortunately we do have a 19 month old kid together. Not unfortunate about having the kid. He cool as sh*t. Unfortunate about having the kid and getting divorced. It makes everything sooo compulated.

Good luck, with whatever you decide.

Jamie

Posted: 9/24/2001 7:26:07 PM EDT

[#41]

I'm a counselor, here's my very brief advise. If you want, send me an e-mail:
It's not impossible to work through this. Many women will make "arrangements" (such as lawyer, money, ext) and this is normal. It does not mean the end of the line. Yes, outside she may show that her mind is made up, but she has not left the house yet. If she is worth it to you, try counseling. While compromise is very important in a relationship, domination by one or the other is not. Do not give up your hobbies just because she tells you to do so. If you spend a very large amount of joint cash on hunting and golf, slim it down. There is nothing wrong with having your own bank account too. Many families I counsel have 1 joint account, then each also have their own. Basically, you put X amount in your personal account to do with what you want (hobbies, ext) and the rest in the joint (you both need to figure out the amounts together)
Anyway, let me know if you have specific questions.
-MGNiko

Posted: 9/24/2001 7:26:41 PM EDT

[#42]

Sorry to hear of your troubles. Been through that and it is not easy!

She has already decided to split up and any attempt to save your marriage is likely hopeless and only likely to cause more pain for both. The separate account and lawyer is very clear if you can see it. You admit fighting and the effect on your friendships. That is a message to you...... Most women have what they think is something better before they dump hubby. Almost always.

Tomorrow, if not sooner, get ALL weapons out of the house!! If you can, do not have even your self defense pistol around. Best to be under lock and key where witnesses can observe.

Drain all the funds you can from all accounts. Cancel or suspend ALL accounts. Stash the cash. Pay bills by cash or MO. Cash pay check and stash.

LEAVE AT ONCE! You are at serious risk of domestic violence charge. These are not easy to beat and cost a bunch to defend yourself.

Get a lawyer. Negotiate a fair division of property and agree to it before going to court. Lawyers feed on conflict and will drain both of you. They need your split to be an adversarial thing to pump up their fees. Who does that help?

An old saying that comes to mind: A man marries thinking his wife will never change. She marries thinking how she can change him. They are both always disappointed they were wrong.

The pain will fade. Your friends that are REAL friends will understand. Those who turn on you were NOT your friends and will likely be few in number. Hang in there and do NOT do anything stupid!

my .0002 worth. Good luck.

Posted: 9/24/2001 9:05:15 PM EDT

[#43]

Here's the idea, although its borderline illegal and a conspiracy.

1) Get a really good friend (who may be willing to go to jail).

2) Sell all your guns for a buck, and (more importantly) get a really trashy gun that you know will soon go KBM (KaBooM!). Include this in the deal.

3) Your friend uses the trashy gun until it goes KBM and sues you for every cent you've got.
Including her secret account of which 50% is yours, your house, your truck, everything.

4) Go for the divorce. Do the other member's suggestions. Then, let her take 50% of what is left.

5) After some time, move to another state, contact your friend, ask for a huge LOAN (your money after all) and buy back your guns.

This way, you retain most of your $ property and your guns along with it.

Posted: 9/24/2001 9:10:10 PM EDT

[#44]

Dude DO NOT give up your guns!! You had them before you married her & she knew about your hobbies before she married you.
She may just be looking at the cash value of your firearms for when she bails out.
You should seriously consider storing you firearms in a safe place off premises from your residence. The aforementioned legal concerns are legitimate if the break up gets nasty.

If you can work it out that would be great.
A little counseling may work. You could maybe find some common ground.

BUT if you don't have any kids & only 2.5yrs invested I would bail now! Plenty of other fish on the sea. Maybe you can find a gal that enjoys your hobbies/interests too ??

Posted: 9/24/2001 9:20:25 PM EDT

[#45]

sounds like she needs a good crack on the ass [:D]

think she might be cheating on you? already got a lawyer and seperate bank accounts? shes been planning this for a while now.
it does seem that you have bad communication with her which is the MOST IMPORTANT THING IN A MARRIAGE.

only 2.5 years of marriage? did you 2 get married too quick without knowing each other well enough? she should of known how you were and your hobbies before saying "i do"

its time to involver her in your hobbies, nothing wrong going hunting with a camera, and take her golfing, or get involved in her hobbies.

SEEK COUNSELING

Posted: 9/25/2001 8:39:30 AM EDT

[#46]

A piece of advice I haven't yet seen:

Get your house wired. If you can install video cameras (they're cheap now), install voice recorders and, at least, go buy one of those small recorders from Radio Shack and tape record every conversation you have with her. Too hard or too expensive? Try paying for a bad divorce with you the bad guy or worse, you in jail under false pretences with only your word against hers. She gets caught in one lie, the police, lawyers and judge will never believe her again.

[edited for another thought]:

Sounds like the first thing you need to do is change your mindset: you're wife is not "asking" for a divorce, she's getting one!

Good luck!

Merlin

Posted: 9/25/2001 9:01:37 AM EDT

[#47]

Quoted:
A piece of advice I haven't yet seen:

Get your house wired. If you can install video cameras (they're cheap now), install voice recorders and, at least, go buy one of those small recorders from Radio Shack and tape record every conversation you have with her. Too hard or too expensive? Try paying for a bad divorce with you the bad guy or worse, you in jail under false pretences with only your word against hers. She gets caught in one lie, the police, lawyers and judge will never believe her again.

[edited for another thought]:

Sounds like the first thing you need to do is change your mindset: you're wife is not "asking" for a divorce, she's getting one!

Good luck!

Merlin

View Quote

Yeah, this and a couple of the other ones are great advice.

Posted: 10/23/2001 4:16:22 PM EDT

[#48]

Quoted:
A piece of advice I haven't yet seen:

Get your house wired. If you can install video cameras (they're cheap now),

View Quote

Merlin is right - cameras are downright cheap these days. I had a buddy who suspected his wife was cheating so we set up a few cameras in his house hidden i common items, and ran them up to 3 cheap (~$100) VCRs set up in the attic.

http://[url]http://www.supercircuits.com/[/url]

The tapes caught her red-handed and my buddy gleaned all sorts of good intel so he knew all the crap she was going to try and surprize him with in court. It was beautiful.

Posted: 10/23/2001 5:49:59 PM EDT

[#49]

If you have a house refinance it to the max. Take her to vegas for a second honey moon tell her you are spending the gun money. Drop about 5-10 grand. Then when shes asleep. Sneak out for a while come back very disdraught tell her you lost it all,she wont be too concerned because it was the evil gun money. Then in court let the cat out of the bag about the morgage.After court go by friends house pick up guns and the refinance money haull ass. And have a good cigar!

Posted: 10/23/2001 6:01:59 PM EDT

[#50]

You've had a lot of advice.
I don't know who's right, I'd like to see you come out of this with your guns (of course!).
I'm sorry you are having to go through all this and wish you the best!
Only you can put a "value" on the relationship verus the guns. I'm selfish I hope the guns win!
But that's just me!
Good luck!
TF

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - The wife is asking for devorice (Page 2 of 3)

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