A little background for you...
I served in the US Army from July 1995 until November 1998. Having heard horror stories about AAFES (Army/Air Force Exchange Services, the company that run the PX/etc on post) I never signed up for their DPP credit program or wrote a check there.
However, during the summer of 1998, I was deployed to Saudi Arabia in support of Operation Southern Watch. Knowing that there were no ATMs or other convenient ways to obtain cash at the Air Force installation we would be stationed, I elected to obtain checks from my bank (NationsBank) so that I could use them at the PX on base.
Unfortunately, NationsBank screwed up and put the wrong account number on the checks. Failing to check their work, I ended up writing what amounts to several hot checks during my summer there. Mea culpa... I didn't find about any of this until we were redeployed to Fort Campbell that fall. Of course, it was not my intention to defraud anyone so I immediately settled my debt with AAFES and worked with NationsBank on the matter. NationsBank was very helpful and paid all the returned check fees.
Fast forward...
EIGHT FUCKING YEARSI received a notice from the Department of the Treasury. Fearing an all-out assault by jack-booted thugs, I immediately hid my dogs in the bunker. However, no assaults were planned on my compound. Instead, the notice reads (paraphrased):
"We took $90 from your federal tax return and gave it to Army & Air Force Exchange Service. If you want to find out why, call them. Even though we can gladly take your money, we can't help you figure out why. Fuck you and have a very nice day."So I call the number listed on the notice, which puts me in contact with AAFES. After the usual rigamarole of proving I am who I say I am, the lady on the other end of the line says that I owe AAFES $37.XX for bad checks in December 1998. Apparently, this is from the to-do that happened while I was in Saudi Arabia, as the total amount of bad checks written was $XXX and apparently I only paid them $YYY. This left a discrepancy of $37.XX which has since ballooned to the nice round sum of $90 due to all the fees they want to charge me.
All of this is news to me: I could have sworn that I settled up with AAFES
EIGHT FUCKING YEARS AGO. AAFES Collections won't take payments over the phone and are mailing a statement out to me.
So I ask the AAFES Collections lady: "Does AAFES usually weight
EIGHT YEARS to collect on debts that are owed to them?" So she gets all flustered and mumbles some gibberish about contracts and manually inputting stuff.
Then.... the piece de resistance... she says, "Well, last August we mailed a statement to your last known address about this." The only problem is my last known address with AAFES is my military Home of Record, which is in Texas. In a house I no longer live in. In a house my PARENTS no longer live in.
EIGHT FUCKING YEARSTitle edit ~ 82ndAbn