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6/21/2017 8:25:40 PM
Posted: 8/6/2001 9:53:13 PM EDT
Link Posted: 8/6/2001 10:02:01 PM EDT
I don't have kids but I would take her to the cleaners. You may eventually forgive but you will never forget and it will eat at you for the rest of your life. It's not worth your suffering. Get out!
Link Posted: 8/6/2001 10:06:17 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Sydwaiz: You may eventually forgive but you will never forget and it will eat at you for the rest of your life. It's not worth your suffering. Get out!
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True statement
Link Posted: 8/6/2001 10:14:49 PM EDT
If this is happening to you then I feel for you. My best friend went through this same kind of thing very recently it was hard on him and especially on the kids. I would have to say a big NO to the possibility of being together. You will never forget this and you will NEVER trust her again. THere are very few people who only cheat once. As to taking her to the cleaners guess again. In most states even if she cheats she still stands an even chance of getting custody of the kids and money from you. Since cheating isn't seen as so bad anymore the courts don't seem to care. If the children are old enough to remember this it is probably better that they have constant contact with their mother unless she is a bad and dangerous influence. Again I feel for you and your kids. Cheating is betrayal and should be punished the same as treason. But since the president did it, it seems to be all the rave nowadays. I told my fiance within the first month of dating that if she ever cheats on me, she and her new friend will be found dead, or preferaby never found at all.
Link Posted: 8/6/2001 10:19:27 PM EDT
C'mon man ! This is a no brainer... Take her to the friggin cleaner! Don't you think she'll do it again the next time the grass looks green? What if the roles were reversed ? You bet your ass she'd take everything you owned. Even if she didn't want it, a judge would give it to her anyway...
Link Posted: 8/6/2001 10:49:50 PM EDT
if you decide to go the cleaner route, i know this guy, he is totally discre........oh, N/M
Link Posted: 8/6/2001 11:04:41 PM EDT
Marriage is a legal, spirtual, and moral contract. If she is willing to break the terms of the contract, I see no need to let her off easy. I would probably not take her back nor would I let her off the hook financially. The vast majority of women wouldn't do the same for you and she's obligated to provide her share of the financial support necessary to raise the kids. Until you remarry, you'll have to hire a nanny or send the kids to day care. She should pay for the added expense.
Link Posted: 8/6/2001 11:52:04 PM EDT
What ever you do be careful, remember you are a man and that is two strikes against you. Regardless of the fact that she caused the problem do not think that you will automatically get custody of the children, it does not work that way, my ex-wife got on the stand and admitted to being a cocaine addict, they had no negative circumstances on my part, and the stupid fucking judge gave my ex custody because she was the "Mother"..As I said, don't take for granted you will win.
Link Posted: 8/7/2001 6:52:09 AM EDT
Over 20 yrs ago and still wouldn't trust my EX. with a bag of S__T and a plastic spoon. My .02 is ask your family for help with the kids and go it alone, noEX.
Link Posted: 8/7/2001 8:54:03 AM EDT
You may never trust her again, but can you co-exist harmoniously? Are you better off with her than without her? Will the kids be better off with her than without her? If you cannot be together without fighting and arguing all the time, you have to say goodbye.
Link Posted: 8/7/2001 9:28:23 AM EDT
Link Posted: 8/7/2001 9:49:30 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/7/2001 9:49:19 AM EDT by ARlady]
i think Paul's right. the children are the major concern. i'm surprised at how much people on this site complain about the results of single parent homes and are so quick to recommend someone raise his children that way. i suggest a good long talking to and perhaps some marital counseling. if it's at all possible to keep the marriage civl and respectable to raise the children properly, then try it. my boyfriend was on a business trip recently and sat next to a guy that had had several affairs. so had this guy's wife. well, turns out that they both started communicated, and along with a new life in Jesus, he and his wife are happier than they've ever been. seems that the affairs had happened because neither husband nor wife knew how to talk to the other about what was bothering him/her. but the "other guy/gal" was easy to talk to about those things and seemed so caring and understanding. and a false love/infatuation grew out of being able to communicate with someone else. perhaps your wife (assuming this isn't a hypothetical and the unfortunate situation is your reality) felt the same way. it's easy for men and women to fall into that trap. if on the otherhand, she's just selfish and childish, it probably is best to cut your losses. regardless, still try and keep a least a talk-able relationship with her for the children. good luck. oh, i wanted to add: beware of taking her to the cleaners out of spite. it leads down a very bad road of eternal bitterness and antagonism (sp?). neither of which your children need to be seeing. if you have to make a break and it might get ugly, use a lawyer and don't talk to her at all. it will help keep the hostility down. sometimes it's painful and unfair being the better person, but it's worth it in the end.
Link Posted: 8/7/2001 9:55:25 AM EDT
Well, you could now have an affair and tell her youre even. But, sounds like you are not that type and are very concerned for your kids. Only you can make the decision, depends on hown much you love her.
Link Posted: 8/7/2001 1:33:17 PM EDT
Link Posted: 8/7/2001 1:36:47 PM EDT
Take her to the cleaners, that's what she would do to you if she could. I neither forgive or forget so there is no way I would take her back.
Link Posted: 8/7/2001 1:50:43 PM EDT
Sorry to hear about it. You gave her the chance, but she had to be "happy"-I hate that cop out. Take her to the cleaners and get sole custody of the kids. Try and keep them out of it as much as possible. Try and be nice in court and not smear her rep, cause the judge will see maturity. Usually people like her make themselves look bad anyway. If you have a beard or goatee or mustache, shave it. Clean cut, nicely dressed father. Good luck, Ice
Link Posted: 8/7/2001 2:19:46 PM EDT
The kids are the major concearn. Normally I say try to stick together if kids are involved. A woman who is willing to leave you [i]and[/i] the kids for her personal fullfillment is someone you don't want around your kids. Take her to the cleaners.
Link Posted: 8/7/2001 2:31:51 PM EDT
Originally Posted By DonS: The kids are the major concearn. Normally I say try to stick together if kids are involved. A woman who is willing to leave you [i]and[/i] the kids for her personal fullfillment is someone you don't want around your kids. Take her to the cleaners.[/quote Well said.
Link Posted: 8/7/2001 2:35:54 PM EDT
I know it sux now, but you will find someone that will treat you right. If you stay with her you are staying with someone for the kids. Not for her or yourself. You will be misserable and the kids will sufer because of it. GET OUT NOW, LOVE THE KIDS, AND FIND SOMEONE THAT WILL NOT MAKE YOU SEC0ND BEST!!!
Link Posted: 8/7/2001 3:23:36 PM EDT
I feel for you , I have been through a divorce myself and it is not easy on anyone . Be Very Careful . She may be sincere . There are kids involved , Your kids . If she is smart she knows that she is screwed if you 2 divorce . Maybe she is trying to improve her situation by getting lovey dovey with you now in anticipation of a big split a few months from now after she has a much better position from which to negotiate . Right now she would loose almost everything including her kids , If she gets back with you now and divorce is a few months over the horizon she will be sitting pretty with the tables turned and YOU have to pay support to her for the next 15 years . I hope I am incorrect but it is possible . Try to think with your brain , not your heart or penis
Link Posted: 8/8/2001 7:34:53 PM EDT
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