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6/21/2017 8:25:40 PM
Posted: 5/18/2001 10:13:48 AM EDT
If you wear suspenders and a hickory shirt, does this make you a Redneck?
Link Posted: 5/18/2001 10:17:05 AM EDT
Link Posted: 5/18/2001 10:17:33 AM EDT
Yes, you are a redneck.
Link Posted: 5/18/2001 10:27:43 AM EDT
Dunno...if your milkman wears panty hose and heels does that make him a dairy queen?
Link Posted: 5/18/2001 10:30:32 AM EDT
Link Posted: 5/18/2001 10:32:37 AM EDT
BLACK socks. Black socks. For Pete's sake, don't any of you ever read GQ?
Link Posted: 5/18/2001 10:43:37 AM EDT
Link Posted: 5/18/2001 10:46:32 AM EDT
Link Posted: 5/18/2001 10:58:46 AM EDT
ROFLMAO. Hey! I resemble some of those remarks! I must be a member.[BD] [sniper]
Link Posted: 5/18/2001 11:14:15 AM EDT
Men wearing sandals means they are gender confused. Men wearing sandals with white socks means they are nerds. Just one man's humble opinion. [}:D]
Link Posted: 5/18/2001 11:17:00 AM EDT
HEIDI - noun. Greeting. HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. Usage: "Heidi, hire yew?" BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow." Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck." JAWJUH - noun. The state north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck." BAMMER - noun. The state west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayum. Usage: "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in improvements." MUNTS - noun. A calendar division. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't head from him in munts." THANK - verb. Ability to cognitively process. Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare." BARE - noun. An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast. Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare." IGNERT - adjective. Not smart. See "Arkansas native." Usage: "Them Bammer boys sure are ignert!" RANCH - noun. A tool used for tight'nin' bolts. Usage: "I thank I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago." ALL - noun. A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck." FAR - noun. A conflagration. Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that thing's gonna catch far." TAR - noun. A rubber wheel. Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck." TIRE - noun. A tall monument. Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime." RETARD - verb. To stop working. Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65." FAT - noun, verb. 1. A battle or combat. 2. To engage in battle or combat. Usage: "You younguns keep fat'n' n' ah'm gonna whup y'uh." RATS - noun. Entitled power or privilege. Usage: "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats." FARN - adjective. Not local. Usage: "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed...mus' be from some farn country." DID - adjective. Not alive. Usage: "He's did, Jim." EAR - noun. A colorless, odorless gas: Oxygen. Usage: "He cain't breathe...give 'im some ear!" BOB WAR - noun. A sharp, twisted cable. Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence." JEW HERE - noun and verb contraction. Usage: "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?" HAZE - a contraction. Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah...haze ignert. He ain't thanked but a minnit 'n 'is laf." SEED - verb, past tense of "to see." VIEW - contraction: verb and pronoun. Usage: "I ain't never seed New York, view?"
Link Posted: 5/18/2001 12:05:01 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/19/2001 8:19:41 AM EDT by 1GUNRUNNER]
Originally Posted By jimmyd223: If you wear suspenders and a hickory shirt, does this make you a Redneck?
View Quote
If you poke a hole in your ear in an African pigmy chop shop at some Panama City sailor-wanna-hump-hump bar and get some oversized rhinestone fake rock in it; does it make you a pillow biting, pole smoking queer?
Link Posted: 5/18/2001 12:07:52 PM EDT
A TEXAS REDNECK'S ADVICE ON LIFE... 1. Don't squat with your spurs on. 2. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment. 3. Lettin' the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in. 4. Never drop your gun to hug a grizzly. 5. If you're riding ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there. 6. If you get to thinking you're a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else's dog around. 7. A good horse never comes in a bad color. 8. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him....The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut. 9. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. 10. There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works. 11. Don't worry about bitin' off more than you can chew. Your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n you think. 12. If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'. 13. Never slap a man who's chewin' tobacco. 14. It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep. 15. Always drink upstream from the herd. 16. When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don't be surprised if they learn their lesson. 17. When you're throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else. 18. Always take a good look at what you're about to eat. It's not so important to know what it is, but you might need to know what it was. 19. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket. 20. Never miss a good chance to shut up. 21. There are three kinds of men: 1. The one that learns from reading. 2. The one that learns from observation. 3. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.
Link Posted: 5/18/2001 12:49:28 PM EDT
Don't know if that makes you a redneck for sure or not. But you might be a redneck if you've ever mowed your lawn and found a car. Or if your car has seat covers OVER the seat covers...you might be a redneck.
Link Posted: 5/18/2001 4:37:57 PM EDT
YA
Link Posted: 5/18/2001 8:32:17 PM EDT
Originally Posted By 1GUNRUNNER:
Originally Posted By jimmyd223: If you wear suspenders and a hickory shirt, does this make you a Redneck?
View Quote
If you poke a hole in your ear in an African pigmy chop shop at some Panama City sailor-wanna-hump-hump bar and get some oversized rhinestone fake rock in it; does it make you pillow biting, pole smoking queer?
View Quote
I dunno.... I would like to call for a vote on this one ;-)).
Link Posted: 5/19/2001 1:08:46 PM EDT
I wore Teva sandals and grey socks the other day. My daughter said I was gay. That hurt! I just didn't want to get the top of my feet sun burned!
Link Posted: 5/20/2001 6:51:44 AM EDT
Originally Posted By MDS: I wore Teva sandals and grey socks the other day. My daughter said I was gay. That hurt! I just didn't want to get the top of my feet sun burned!
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That's what shoes are for LOL
Link Posted: 5/20/2001 7:11:13 AM EDT
You might be a redneck if you have a gunrack on your bicycle (I had to take it off, the neighbors wuz bitchin-now it jest carry it on a slang)
Link Posted: 5/20/2001 9:22:56 AM EDT
What the hell's a "hickory" shirt?
Link Posted: 5/20/2001 9:27:28 AM EDT
Boy this is fun.
Link Posted: 5/20/2001 9:27:51 AM EDT
Link Posted: 5/20/2001 10:15:23 AM EDT
I agree with garandman about sandals, and I'd add that any man that wears sandals would probably wear shoes with tassles on'em also. OlDad
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