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Posted: 1/16/2017 4:45:42 PM EDT
[#1]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
A bull elephant doesn't have "balls". His testicles are located deep inside his body. http://www.elephanttag.org/Images/male_repro.gif Fact: You cannot kick an elephant in the balls. |
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Posted: 1/16/2017 4:46:12 PM EDT
[#2]
Go to bed with a itchy butt, wake up with stinky fingers
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Posted: 1/16/2017 4:48:29 PM EDT
[#3]
My father has never been to the moon, but his name is on it.
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Posted: 1/16/2017 4:48:45 PM EDT
[#4]
4 states in the confederacy didn't secede from the union until Lincoln raised an army to invade the south. It actually was the war of northern aggression.
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Posted: 1/16/2017 5:11:03 PM EDT
[#5]
The last battle of the War of Northern Aggression was fought in Alaska.
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Posted: 1/16/2017 5:12:14 PM EDT
[#6]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
No shit? I'm serious, not being a smartass Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
King George VI fought at the Battle of Jutland and was mentioned in dispatches. No shit? I'm serious, not being a smartass Aboard HMS Collingswood as a midshipman. |
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Posted: 1/16/2017 5:14:45 PM EDT
[#7]
What does Dan Aykroyd, Ashton Kutcher, and Tricia Helfer (Battlestar Galactica's Number 6), and Soviet Dictaor Joseph Stalin and I all have in common?
We have syndactyly (webbed toes). Amazing that I hate communism and I have something in common with the leader of the Soviet Union during the height of it's power. |
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Posted: 1/16/2017 5:22:24 PM EDT
[#8]
Turds are tapered on the end so your asshole doesn't slam shut
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Posted: 1/16/2017 5:22:59 PM EDT
[#9]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Truth. Although I didn't lose any bone material, I lost most all the tip of one finger as a young'en. Aside from some barely visible scaring, you'd never know by looking at it today Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Children can regrow fingertips that have been completely severed.. as in GONE.. bone skin, nerves, nail and all. There's no need for magic medicine. The trick is that such a wound can't be treated like other cuts. Truth. Although I didn't lose any bone material, I lost most all the tip of one finger as a young'en. Aside from some barely visible scaring, you'd never know by looking at it today |
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Posted: 1/16/2017 5:23:40 PM EDT
[#10]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
on that note... Whole nine yards is in refernce to the 9 yards of ammoe in a P51. SO when you gave it the whole nine yards, you ran 9 yards of ammoes into something.  Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
The expression "balls out" refers to the weights on a steam engine governor. When the engine is at max speed, the weights are slung outward, throttling back the steam. http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ZAYs9jcewic/UX3892_LbbI/AAAAAAAAA4g/8Tl4xIxqRCE/s640/Centrifugal_governor.png on that note... Whole nine yards is in refernce to the 9 yards of ammoe in a P51. SO when you gave it the whole nine yards, you ran 9 yards of ammoes into something. No, no it is not. P-51A/B/C, minus the As with 20mms, had 350 rpg for the two inboard mgs, 280 for the two outboard, P-51Ds had 400 rpg for the two inboard guns, 270 rpg for the four outboard ones. None of those belts measure 9 yards long. Also, the phrase pre-dates WWII. |
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Posted: 1/16/2017 5:27:55 PM EDT
[#11]
The giblets inside your (store-bought) Thanksgiving turkey were not from that turkey.
(Edited for Fudds  )
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Posted: 1/16/2017 5:30:41 PM EDT
[#12]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
No, no it is not. P-51A/B/C, minus the As with 20mms, had 350 rpg for the two inboard mgs, 280 for the two outboard, P-51Ds had 400 rpg for the two inboard guns, 270 rpg for the four outboard ones. None of those belts measure 9 yards long. Also, the phrase pre-dates WWII. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
The expression "balls out" refers to the weights on a steam engine governor. When the engine is at max speed, the weights are slung outward, throttling back the steam. http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ZAYs9jcewic/UX3892_LbbI/AAAAAAAAA4g/8Tl4xIxqRCE/s640/Centrifugal_governor.png on that note... Whole nine yards is in refernce to the 9 yards of ammoe in a P51. SO when you gave it the whole nine yards, you ran 9 yards of ammoes into something. No, no it is not. P-51A/B/C, minus the As with 20mms, had 350 rpg for the two inboard mgs, 280 for the two outboard, P-51Ds had 400 rpg for the two inboard guns, 270 rpg for the four outboard ones. None of those belts measure 9 yards long. Also, the phrase pre-dates WWII. I had heard once it was because cement mixing trucks used to hold enough cement to pour 9 yards of sidewalk. |
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Posted: 1/16/2017 5:31:50 PM EDT
[#13]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
The giblets inside your Thanksgiving turkey were not from that turkey. Mine were, but that's because mine came from the woods and not from Butterball 
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Posted: 1/16/2017 5:32:16 PM EDT
[#14]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
No shit? I'm serious, not being a smartass Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
King George VI fought at the Battle of Jutland and was mentioned in dispatches. No shit? I'm serious, not being a smartass Yes, the Queen's father as a sub-lieutenant there on HMS Collingwood as a turret officer, it is on his wiki page. |
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Posted: 1/16/2017 5:32:54 PM EDT
[#15]
your femur is stronger than concrete
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Posted: 1/16/2017 5:34:06 PM EDT
[#16]
Dogs lick their balls because they can.
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Posted: 1/16/2017 5:36:49 PM EDT
[#17]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Truth. Although I didn't lose any bone material, I lost most all the tip of one finger as a young'en. Aside from some barely visible scaring, you'd never know by looking at it today Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Children can regrow fingertips that have been completely severed.. as in GONE.. bone skin, nerves, nail and all. There's no need for magic medicine. The trick is that such a wound can't be treated like other cuts. Truth. Although I didn't lose any bone material, I lost most all the tip of one finger as a young'en. Aside from some barely visible scaring, you'd never know by looking at it today My dad got the tip of the middle finger just past the nail on his right hand chopped off by a knife when he was 4. His finger grew back. You would never know by looking at his hand except that his middle finger is the same length as his ring finger. |
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Posted: 1/16/2017 5:40:21 PM EDT
[#18]
If you're not part of the solution,
You're part of the precipitate. |
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Posted: 1/16/2017 5:49:44 PM EDT
[#19]
87% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
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Posted: 1/16/2017 5:53:03 PM EDT
[#20]
50% of the people you know are below average.
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Posted: 1/16/2017 5:55:54 PM EDT
[#21]
World War 1 killed 16 million people.
If that's too large of a number to comprehend, just think of a moderate sized town of 10,000 people (like Sonoma, CA) dying... Every day. For FOUR YEARS... |
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Posted: 1/16/2017 5:56:43 PM EDT
[#22]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
50% of the people you know are below average. |
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Posted: 1/16/2017 6:07:24 PM EDT
[#23]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
50% of the people you know are below average. |
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Posted: 1/16/2017 6:13:17 PM EDT
[#24]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
If you had no hands, you nose would never get picked. My friends are obviously better than your friends. |
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Posted: 1/16/2017 6:17:34 PM EDT
[#25]
42 is the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything according to the super computer Deep Thought.
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Posted: 1/16/2017 6:17:43 PM EDT
[#26]
the last "veteran" of the Crimean war died in 2004. His name was timothy.
(1839–2004) |
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Posted: 1/16/2017 6:22:00 PM EDT
[#27]
Gene Cernan (who passed today) holds the unofficial landspeed record on the moon (11.2mph) and the manned vehicle speed record (24,791mph)
dang - missed post 800. Well, at least it pertained to a personal hero of mine |
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Posted: 1/16/2017 6:33:29 PM EDT
[#28]
A cube is an ideal solid which has SIX equal sides and a total of EIGHT corners. I know.. you already know that.
If you trace lines from opposing diagonal corners of the cube, you can see the edges of two more ideal solids: a pair of intersecting four sided tetrahedrons. The volume of the area where the two tetrahedrons intersect is also another ideal solid, in this case an octahedron which has EIGHT equal sides and SIX corners. neato.. Here's a little illustration I made: 
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Posted: 1/16/2017 6:50:59 PM EDT
[#29]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
If you took ALL of the blood vessels and arteries out of an averaged sized man and laid them out end-to-end.....? That man would die.
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Posted: 1/16/2017 6:51:48 PM EDT
[#30]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Yes, the Queen's father as a sub-lieutenant there on HMS Collingwood as a turret officer, it is on his wiki page. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
King George VI fought at the Battle of Jutland and was mentioned in dispatches. No shit? I'm serious, not being a smartass Yes, the Queen's father as a sub-lieutenant there on HMS Collingwood as a turret officer, it is on his wiki page. Yup, a member of the British Royal Family placed his life on the line as a missle decoy to protect troop ships. |
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Posted: 1/16/2017 6:53:36 PM EDT
[#31]
And Harry lit up some folks in Afghanistan.
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Posted: 1/16/2017 6:54:42 PM EDT
[#32]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
the last "veteran" of the Crimean war died in 2004. His name was timothy. (1839–2004) |
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Posted: 1/16/2017 6:56:32 PM EDT
[#33]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
And Harry lit up some folks in Afghanistan. When Queen Elizabeth took King Abdullah for a drive in her Land Rover |
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Posted: 1/16/2017 6:59:19 PM EDT
[#34]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
If you say "beer can" with a British accent, you're also saying "bacon" with a Jamaican accent. <mind blown>
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Posted: 1/16/2017 7:01:48 PM EDT
[#35]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
the last "veteran" of the Crimean war died in 2004. His name was timothy. (1839–2004) 165 yrs old? |
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Posted: 1/16/2017 7:03:49 PM EDT
[#36]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Elephants never go "balls out".  They high ball, like a train! |
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Posted: 1/16/2017 7:04:54 PM EDT
[#37]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Never pet a burning dog Never fry bacon in the nude 1 in 5 people like frying bacon in the nude. |
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Posted: 1/16/2017 7:05:32 PM EDT
[#38]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
165 yrs old? |
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Posted: 1/16/2017 7:07:19 PM EDT
[#39]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
165 yrs old? I think he's referring to captured cannons the Brits melted down and made Victoria Crosses out of. No more cannons left. Or not.
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Posted: 1/16/2017 7:07:22 PM EDT
[#40]
I ninja kicked Ho Chi Mihn in the fucking face as a warning, President said I wasn't allowed to kill him, but didn't say anything about a fucking front kick to his Tet Offensives.
It was in my previous life before being reincarnated a few years later. |
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Posted: 1/16/2017 7:08:20 PM EDT
[#41]
The first seven North American F-86 Sabre jets ever built flew with parts (slat rails) salvaged from captured Messerschmitt Me 262 fighters.
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Posted: 1/16/2017 7:10:13 PM EDT
[#42]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Reactor cores glow this beautiful blue due to a phenomenon called Cherenkov radiation..., which is caused by a charged particle (e.g. electron) passing through a dielectric medium (e.g. water) at velocity greater than the velocity of light in that medium. http://www.nightscribe.com/Science_Technology/images/DB-Reactor_refueling_13R_2.jpg |
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Posted: 1/16/2017 7:14:14 PM EDT
[#43]
Only one man on earth can take a full-power shot from squatdog.
You may be thinking it is Chuck Norris. It is not. Bob Newhart is the only human being who can take a full-power shot from squatdog. |
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Posted: 1/16/2017 7:18:18 PM EDT
[#44]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Children can regrow fingertips that have been completely severed.. as in GONE.. bone skin, nerves, nail and all. There's no need for magic medicine. The trick is that such a wound can't be treated like other cuts. |
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Posted: 1/16/2017 7:31:13 PM EDT
[#45]
In Utah 5 out of 4 people have trouble with fractions...
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Posted: 1/16/2017 7:34:55 PM EDT
[#46]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
The giblets inside your Thanksgiving turkey were not from that turkey. Yes they were, I slaughtered my own bird
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Posted: 1/16/2017 7:39:46 PM EDT
[#47]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
World War 1 killed 16 million people. If that's too large of a number to comprehend, just think of a moderate sized town of 10,000 people (like Sonoma, CA) dying... Every day. For FOUR YEARS... Your math is a bit off bro. |
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Posted: 1/16/2017 7:41:10 PM EDT
[#48]
No matter where you go, there you are.
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Posted: 1/16/2017 7:51:50 PM EDT
[#49]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
If you get a flat tire on a lawn mower, small trailer , etc and it's lost the bead/Seal , simply wrap a ratcheting tie-down all the way around the center of the tread to compress it. Then apply air from the compressor into the valve stem. It'll pop right back on and inflate. DO NOT inflate further than the 'pop' until you release the ratchet strap. I wish I would have known this on Saturday. Would have saved me a lot of time. |
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Posted: 1/16/2017 7:54:17 PM EDT
[#50]
Fact , at some point in life , everyone has gambled on a fart and lost .
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