Somebody took a dump on my driveway last night. - Page 3

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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Somebody took a dump on my driveway last night. (Page 3 of 4)

Posted: 12/6/2016 4:51:00 PM EDT

[#1]

That was bigfoot

Posted: 12/6/2016 4:55:32 PM EDT

[#2]

Quote History

Quoted:

WTF!

What was the purpose of the traffic cones??

I have had cameras at all my places for about the past 9 years. I've never caught anything noteworthy like that.

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The network camera system got installed to catch the asshole who was dumping trash and other stuff in my driveway. He had a particular fondness for traffic cones but also did a myriad of other things including what he was eventually prosecuted on which was destruction of property. I never found out why he did any of it besides that he was a drunk with multiple alcohol related arrests. There are lots of renters in my area so that is always a problem.

Posted: 12/6/2016 4:55:49 PM EDT

[#3]

1-Rent a large horse...

2-ride said horse over to ex bf's resistance...

3-Have said horse take a horse sized dump in bf's driveway...

4-Post pics on arfcom for general hilarity....

Posted: 12/6/2016 4:56:02 PM EDT

[#4]

Quote History

Quoted:
POOP thread

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And it's the ex-boyfriend, quite the shitty outcome to the relationship.

Posted: 12/6/2016 4:57:10 PM EDT

[#5]

You have a gate, but no gate camera?!

Posted: 12/6/2016 4:59:53 PM EDT

[#6]

So... did he wipe?

Posted: 12/6/2016 5:16:13 PM EDT

[#7]

I'm just surprised no one has started a "So I took a dump in the middle of some guy's driveway last night" thread yet.

Posted: 12/6/2016 5:19:00 PM EDT

[#8]

#CaliforniaValues

Posted: 12/6/2016 5:20:17 PM EDT

[#9]

Quote History

Quoted:

WTF!

What was the purpose of the traffic cones??

I have had cameras at all my places for about the past 9 years. I've never caught anything noteworthy like that.

View Quote View All Quotes

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Quote History

Quoted:

Quoted:
I had a neighbor place traffic cones in my driveway and then urinate on them. Too bad for him I had installed a video camera recommended by our surveillance sub forum SME. He got arrested. I'll never live anywhere again without a network camera system.

I would save the poop. If this becomes a pattern of harassment it may be a useful piece of evidence later.

WTF!

What was the purpose of the traffic cones??

I have had cameras at all my places for about the past 9 years. I've never caught anything noteworthy like that.

Bad neighbor assumed Monkey would be forced to touch the cones and, therefore, his essence. Bad neighbor assumed he could passive-aggressively assert dominance. To properly assert dominance, one must urinate directly on the subject.

Posted: 12/6/2016 5:33:21 PM EDT

[#10]

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Quoted:
Are you the old man who reported the guy who was building a pergola next door?

If so you deserved it.

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I assure you it wasn't me. That being said, I'm writing this down on my list of revenge ideas for that guy.

Posted: 12/6/2016 5:36:33 PM EDT

[#11]

Quote History

Quoted:
Our old building used to be in a shitty part of Milwaukee. Right across the narrow alley was a 2 story house with a balcony. One day after a heavy rain we noticed the roof was leaking in the area that bordered the alley. I went up there to see if the roof drains were clogged. Once I got up there I found about 2 dozen balled up diapers that blocked up the drain on that side of the roof. The 2nd level of that house had renters that had, you guessed it, an infant. Instead of disposing the diapers like a civilized person would, the dirtballs just went out on the balcony and threw them onto our roof. I put on some gloves and tossed every last one of them back onto their 2nd floor balcony. Needless to say, we never had a clogged drain again.

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Fucking people, man.

Posted: 12/6/2016 5:42:04 PM EDT

[#12]

Quote History

Quoted:
A dump on someone's driveway is an odd prank. So easy to just hose off and be done with it. The doorstep would have been much more effective.

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That was my first thought.

If you're going to take a shit on someone's property, why not at the front door?

Or maybe it's definitely him because only an insider would realize that you never use the front door?

Posted: 12/6/2016 5:45:40 PM EDT

[#13]

No gate camera? Seriously?

That should have been one of the first ones you installed.

Posted: 12/6/2016 5:48:38 PM EDT

[#14]

Catch him in the act, rub his nose in it and whip his ass with a rolled up newspaper. He'll stop.

Hey, it works on dogs.

Posted: 12/6/2016 5:53:57 PM EDT

[#15]

Best to keep a super soaker full of piss with you just in case you need it.

Posted: 12/6/2016 6:12:47 PM EDT

[#16]

Quote History

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Can you imagine catching him in the act? Lol

I don't even think I'd be mad, I'd just point and laugh. Maybe try to catch him on the cell phone and put it on YouTube

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I'd run up and knock him back so he sits in it.

Posted: 12/6/2016 6:23:39 PM EDT

[#17]

So she dumped him and he dumped you?

Posted: 12/6/2016 6:50:42 PM EDT

[#18]

No excuse not to have IP cameras nowadays... just saying OP.

Posted: 12/6/2016 6:58:41 PM EDT

[#19]

Box it up and mail it back to him

Spring loaded for extra points

Posted: 12/6/2016 9:59:21 PM EDT

[#20]

Can't DNA be recovered for a steamer?

Oh, and IBTL.

Posted: 12/6/2016 10:11:47 PM EDT

[#21]

Game camera time...

Posted: 12/6/2016 10:14:33 PM EDT

[#22]

Quote History

Quoted:
Mail a coupon to his family that offers free dental work for family members younger than 21. Sign it Dr. Christian Szell.

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Is it safe?

Posted: 12/6/2016 10:17:05 PM EDT

[#23]

Quote History

Quoted:
Your daughter dumped him? Obvious answer is that your daughter is a cannibal.

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Posted: 12/6/2016 10:20:22 PM EDT

[#24]

shitters full

Posted: 12/6/2016 10:23:46 PM EDT

[#25]

Quoted:
Some of you may recall my roof-shitter from a few years ago. Thank God that stopped. That was at my office.

I left for work today and was greeted by a huge pile of excrement in the middle of my driveway. It does not look like dogshit. Definitely looks human. If it were dogshit, it would have to be 150# dog with a weird frickin diet.

Now......to add a twist to the story. My daughter broke up with her boyfriend last night. She dumped him. She has been on the rocks with him since the election. He was a FHRC supporter and he sent a pretty virulent email to her post-election of how evil, ignorant, and racist her family was for supporting Trump. He profusely apologized almost immediately, but, they never recovered.

Our family is having a field day with this......Is it possible the guy came over and took a dump on my driveway?!!

She is 18YO, as is he. She is not at home, she is off at college, but the kid lives nearby.

Bizzarro......or what?

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An eye for an eye, a dump for a dump.

Posted: 12/6/2016 10:25:04 PM EDT

[#26]

Bake it in a cake and hand deliver it to him. Sort of a sympathy thing after he broke up with the daughter.

Posted: 12/6/2016 10:45:24 PM EDT

[#27]

Quote History

Quoted:
Can't DNA be recovered for a steamer?

Oh, and IBTL.

View Quote

Posted: 12/6/2016 10:51:39 PM EDT

[#28]

Sounds like a liberal left some of his brain material on your driveway.

Posted: 12/6/2016 10:57:01 PM EDT

[#29]

its him, make the cops test his shit then stuff in it his mouth

Posted: 12/6/2016 11:02:10 PM EDT

[#30]

Quote History

Quoted:
I have a 100 lb malamute and she takes bigger shits than I do, and they look very human-like. With that being said, most people pick up their dogs shit. I'd suspect the liberal ex boyfriend. But you don't have much to work with. Maybe go squat in his driveway and see if he retaliates!?

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True. My mastiff shits' can be anywhere from human like to dinosaur looking.

Buddy at work installed cams. First week he caught a guy shitting on his driveway. It was a jogger and actually pretty impressive. Barely stopped. Jogged up, dropped pants, shit and jogged away in seconds. This happened in broad daylight in the middle of the suburbs.

My bet bet is on boyfriend.

Posted: 12/7/2016 2:12:39 AM EDT

[#31]

Quote History

Quoted:
True. My mastiff shits' can be anywhere from human like to dinosaur looking.

Buddy at work installed cams. First week he caught a guy shitting on his driveway. It was a jogger and actually pretty impressive. Barely stopped. Jogged up, dropped pants, shit and jogged away in seconds. This happened in broad daylight in the middle of the suburbs.

My bet bet is on boyfriend.

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This is fairly common for joggers. YouTube is full of videos of joggers dry docking a Texan in peoples driveways and lawns.

Posted: 12/7/2016 3:43:53 AM EDT

[#32]

Quoted:
Some of you may recall my roof-shitter from a few years ago. Thank God that stopped. That was at my office.

I left for work today and was greeted by a huge pile of excrement in the middle of my driveway. It does not look like dogshit. Definitely looks human. If it were dogshit, it would have to be 150# dog with a weird frickin diet.

Now......to add a twist to the story. My daughter broke up with her boyfriend last night. She dumped him. She has been on the rocks with him since the election. He was a FHRC supporter and he sent a pretty virulent email to her post-election of how evil, ignorant, and racist her family was for supporting Trump. He profusely apologized almost immediately, but, they never recovered.

Our family is having a field day with this......Is it possible the guy came over and took a dump on my driveway?!!

She is 18YO, as is he. She is not at home, she is off at college, but the kid lives nearby.

Bizzarro......or what?

View Quote

Sorry, I thought it would turn you on, baby.

Posted: 12/7/2016 3:47:20 AM EDT

[#33]

Quote History

Quoted:
So let's get this straight; this is the second seperate incident of a person defecating on your property?
Perhaps it's time for some personal reflection and ask yourself what the common denominator is.

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Posted: 12/7/2016 4:14:28 AM EDT

[#34]

Quote History

Quoted:
No poop on snek.

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Posted: 12/7/2016 4:28:51 AM EDT

[#35]

poop thread

Posted: 12/7/2016 4:34:46 AM EDT

[#36]

Quote History

Quoted:
Poop in his driveway to send a message.

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Posted: 12/7/2016 5:12:15 AM EDT

[#37]

Nothing worse than a surface shitter

Except an MRE rat fucker

Posted: 12/7/2016 6:18:19 AM EDT

[#38]

Quote History

Quoted:
What are the odds of having someone shit on your roof at work and now someone has shit in your driveway? Go buy a lotto ticket!

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The Phantom Shitter haunts him Dude. I've seen this before, in another time, at another place. This Ghost exists. It has been well documented throughout time.

Watch Flight of the Intruder. There was even a bit on it in that movie where the PS'er would sneak in an drop a log with no trace of having wiped his ass. That is how you know the difference between a prankster shitter and the Phantom Shitter. Pranksters will leave a bit of tp, leaf litter, sock, t shirt.....the Phantom just leaves a log.

Posted: 12/7/2016 6:19:52 AM EDT

[#39]

Quote History

Quoted:
This.

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Quoted:
Cameras are what you seek. Put them on your house.

This.

There is no camera on earth that can record the Phantom Shitter.

Posted: 12/7/2016 6:20:29 AM EDT

[#40]

Quote History

Quoted:
Phantom Shitter

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See. This Man knows whats up.

The American Phantom Shitter will ofter leave one of those little America flag tooth picks at the peak of his pile, like Shoney's used to put on top of your hamburger. Seen that too.

Posted: 12/7/2016 6:27:52 AM EDT

[#41]

Quote History

Quoted:
POOP thread

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Posted: 12/7/2016 6:49:11 AM EDT

[#42]

Did you collect a sample for DNA analysis?

Oh yeah. It has to be a bloody shit to pull DNA off of it though.

Posted: 12/7/2016 6:52:18 AM EDT

[#43]

Quote History

Quoted:
I'd whip his ass just in case.

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Don't you EVAAR shit in a man's driveway

ETA: I hate poop.
Mine, yours, or anything elses. Keep your poop farrrrrrrr away from me, and all can be good.

Posted: 12/7/2016 6:52:35 AM EDT

[#44]

No TP?

Posted: 12/7/2016 6:57:18 AM EDT

[#45]

Sorry about that bro, taco Tuesday across the border didn't agree with me. I meant to leave a note.

Posted: 12/7/2016 7:04:19 AM EDT

[#46]

Quote History

Quoted:
When I was younger, my landlord evicted me to turn my basement apartment into storage. I got drunk that night and shit on his air conditioner(exterior compressor unit). Not sure what I thought that would accomplish, but none the less, I did it. So yes, an 18 yr old could definitely have done that out of spite and stupidity. Especially an 18 yr old FHRC supporter.

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This for sure. It was him. End of story. I hope you bagged it up and sent it to his parents fedex overnight. It would be worth the $25. And you get to really test how good those triple sealed zip lock bags are.